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Springfallendeer — Regret?... [NSFW]
Published: 2014-05-31 19:37:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 604; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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You would add more blood to these soiled hands of mine.
You will spill that crimson fluid around my body-
let it pool at my feet, and let me lie in it.
But you will not let me hold your feeble frame against mine,
as it falls still forever.

You would seek your own demise whilst already aware,
that you've so little time left in this world.
You will seek to end everything-
the pain, the agony, the fear-
even knowing the price of your relief will be these tears of mine.

The past cannot be change-
we have known what the future holds for you.
Yet you seek to bring these tears of separation before their time.
You push the heartache at me,
and you sink the pain into my chest like a hot blade.

I, who had spoken to you,
who had wanted so badly to take your trembling hands,
and hold you to me until the terror passed.
I will be left alone with the belief,
that it had been me to push you two such drastic means.

Be it true, or be it false-
it will become my burden to bear.
It will be the weight of another loss,
pressed against this painfully throbbing chest-
making it more difficult for me to breathe.

And, for all any around could know-
that freshly added burden may be the last ounce of weight needed,
to render this chest- which struggles to rise- still as stone.
Then it would be me leaving others to bear the burden of me-
because I know they'd seek to stop it.

So, push beyond my attempts to calm you-
my hopes to slow your tears and bring a smile to your face,
even if its one that might go unseen to well trained eyes.
Push me away and strive to leave me bathing in the red,
that spills from your stilling frame.

Even if I am not there to touch it in person,
that crimson liquid stains my hands as much as it may stain,
whatever it spills upon.
It pools around my feet, rains upon my already tainted skin.
Adding more proof to the sorrow that plagues me.

You've already made move to push me away-
the pain has already began to sink in.
Soon will come the nightmares,
the pain triggered by unwanted dreams.
And there are non capable of saving me.

Leave me to cry,
leave me with the agonizing memories.
Leave me with regret-
not of knowing you,
but of not being able to save you from yourself.

At this point I already know,
that there will come no relief-
no bittersweet goodbyes,
to ease away the pain pulsing from my heart.
The heart of someone already lost to sorrow...

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Comments: 134

Springfallendeer In reply to ??? [2014-06-03 01:33:57 +0000 UTC]

Er... Can you eat solids, or drink fluids?... I'm sure you need to be careful of what you put in your stomach... I don't mean to pry, I'm just curious... My grandfather had a lot of stomach issues and, well, it was normal for me to sit with him for hours taking to him about it..

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 02:33:25 +0000 UTC]

I Can't Eat Solids. I Can't Talk Either... I Accidentally Destroyed My Vocal Cords..

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 02:39:46 +0000 UTC]

Oh dear... *Hugs gently* Sorry about... Probably loosing your voice for good...

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 18:32:00 +0000 UTC]

Yeah Damage Is permanent

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 19:13:45 +0000 UTC]

*Sighs and gently ruffles your hair a bit*

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 19:44:38 +0000 UTC]

*Glomp*

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 19:49:34 +0000 UTC]

*Squeaks* ~?

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 20:26:38 +0000 UTC]

:c

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 20:31:44 +0000 UTC]

*Hugs you gently* What's troubling you?...

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 20:32:57 +0000 UTC]

Sean..

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 20:36:43 +0000 UTC]

*Gently ruffles your hair some* Hey, I already know he wants to talk to you... Its... All a matter of timing.

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 22:48:06 +0000 UTC]

Okie..

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 23:03:08 +0000 UTC]

He's on now. Go talk to him.

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 23:25:09 +0000 UTC]

I am

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 23:33:42 +0000 UTC]

Good.

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death-riot In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-06-03 23:35:03 +0000 UTC]

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Springfallendeer In reply to death-riot [2014-06-03 23:51:21 +0000 UTC]

^^

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haileyanimefreak In reply to ??? [2014-05-31 20:01:53 +0000 UTC]

Please tell me it wasn't your friend you couldn't get in contact with!!!! Please tell me no one died!!

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 20:06:19 +0000 UTC]

No, he's not dead. He attempted suicide yesterday... I'd been talking to him, trying to calm him down... I thought I'd managed to do it... He started talking about his stomach, so I told him a bunch of natural remedies that might help..
The last thing he said to me was "Thank you Sar.."- then his friend got on and told me what happened... He drank bleach... He's still alive but, I don't know if he's going to recover...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 20:11:23 +0000 UTC]

Oh, thank Zeus!! I pray that he gets better, I know what it feels like. I've had friends who have, sadly, committed suicide, may they rest in peace.

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 20:13:23 +0000 UTC]

He's not in good shape... I've already been told that much.

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haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 20:33:46 +0000 UTC]

There's always hope, right? We just simply won't give up!

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 20:36:50 +0000 UTC]

Even if he doesn't die, it did enough damage... He wont make it to September..

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 21:06:42 +0000 UTC]

I'm so sorry, I know how it feels. You'll just have to make the best of it, I suppose. We'll all meet again in the afterlife, it won't be good bye forever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 21:58:44 +0000 UTC]

I just hope he'll be able to get back on- I hope he'll let me talk to him..

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haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 22:35:00 +0000 UTC]

I'm sure he will ^~^

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 22:59:48 +0000 UTC]

I hope so

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haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 23:03:03 +0000 UTC]

You seem like good friends, I'm sure you'll be able to talk ^~^

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 23:05:02 +0000 UTC]

We are... At least I think we are.

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haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 23:08:38 +0000 UTC]

I'm positive you guys are

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 23:45:27 +0000 UTC]

Kay..

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

haileyanimefreak In reply to Springfallendeer [2014-05-31 23:48:38 +0000 UTC]

^~^

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Springfallendeer In reply to haileyanimefreak [2014-05-31 23:53:55 +0000 UTC]

^^

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