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SquirrellyThief — Revenge Voodoo
Published: 2011-09-02 14:33:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 1386; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 4
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"He tackled me in a crowded city street, demanding I smell him. Stabbing him in the thigh mid-coitus seemed appropriate.""You only stabbed him in the thigh?"
"...yes."
"Artemis..."
"Don't judge. He should have seen this coming a mile away."
-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Artemis can take a joke as well as the next guy, but he has limits. And his methods of revenge are always... spectacular.
I was trying to come up with an idea for his revenge that suited his character, but something Jarlaxle wouldn't necessarily suspect. Seeing as Jarlaxle is on to almost everything Entreri does, that presented a bit of a problem.
Got the idea after re-reading "Wickless in the Nether," what better revenge than something Jarlaxle saw frequently, but always thought was an empty threat? XD And of course Arrayan would help Artemis exact it
There we go, those backgrounds are more tolerable. Idk how those lines showed up in the beginning, srry guys. I'll fix it eventually.
Okay. Long discription is long. I'm done now.
OH WAIT-
Now that the scores are settled, I am open for suggestions for more silly shenanigans between these two. Get creative you guys, I'm up for a little of everything. XD
Characters-not mine.
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Comments: 59
Artemis doesn't mess around with revenge.
(Especially when the jerkface that wronged him gives him a giant spider and then chases him around the city demanding to be smelled. 
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Well, he was fine enough to turn Artemis and Drizzt (and himself) into women for Halloween this year.
Though I think Artemis might go a step beyond some pushpins in a voodoo doll in retaliation for that. XD
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Yeeeeaaaaaa...I don't think he's going to survive...
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He's Jarlaxle. He'll find some way to get out of trouble with Artemis.
He left him in a dracolich lair while the lich was breathing ACID on them, and still got to travel with Artemis/help him face his demons in Memnon.
Artemis is kind of a push over when it comes to Jarlaxle's shenanigans, as much as he loathes to admit it.
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Not after Herzgo Alegni. Of course, he's probably dead now..........
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Oh hell no.
Jarlaxle can't get away with shit after the Alegni debacle.
As soon as Artemis sees him again, I'm expecting something explosive.
(And hopefully Salvatore won't disappoint.)
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What did Barrabus do? Stab Jarlaxle's voodoo doll with a Pin? I'm expecting something like "Lets start by cutting your toes and dipping them in lemon juice, then rubbing salt into the cuts, and work our way up the body in torture" type of thing to happen.
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Well, this particular is pre-Gauntlgrym. When Barrabus was still Artemis Entreri, and Jarlaxle was little more than a minor annoyance. XP
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I know. Still, Jarlaxle will suffer when Artemis finds him. Or at least his spirit finds him. Possessed by Artemis? *Shivers*
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OH GOD.
Jarlaxle is gonna WISH Artemis was dead when they meet.
(I need The Last Threshold to have their reunion. I WANT to hear how Jarlaxle justifies his actions, and how Artemis copes with it.
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Artemis lives when the sword is destroyed??? I'm nearly done with book 3 in the neverwinter trilogy. BTW, could you make a Dahlia pic? And Athrogate. I like them both.
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OH FUCK. WAIT. I NEVER SAID THAT!
And I might... (I hate Dahlia, but I might get around to drawing her in a non-derpy fashion. XD And I love Athrogate, so I'll probably do something with him when I get done with this comic that is. XD )
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Nothing.
Pretend I'm not here.
*hides*
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Hehe so he is. It's a shame that I only know so much about the character Jarlaxle from what other people have read about because i haven't gotten that far into the series yet. I know he is the owner of the mercenary group in that place that i can't spell and that he's a very creepy person, and calculating at that, but also very colorful and outstanding. I also know from other things across the web that he can get into trouble often and is very dramatic with his actions but that's about it I hope i got his character right
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That's pretty spot on, actually.
Jarlaxle is... complicated. One moment he can be leaving you behind in the heat of battle or dragging your unconscious body into the Underdark and forcing you to live there for an extended period. The next he's helping you avenge your mother's death for no real reason other than to help you out.
He also apparently likes to spy on people in the bedroom, which is kinda weird and hilarious all at the same time.
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...I REALLY want to finish reading the series now! This SO unfair i am SO BEHIND! I feel like crying...
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It's alright, you'll catch up eventually. I know it took me a year to catch up with the series. *knows how ya feel*
It's 25 books long (26 if you count the book of short-stories) and a new one comes out EVERY YEAR. It takes time to read all that stuff.
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Yea I actually read the books in a few days i remember my mom getting the collectors edition of the dark elf trilogy and i read the whole book in like 5 days, granted i had already read Homeland because my teacher let me borrow his copy because it was taking forever to get into the library from hold, but still i finished Exile in two days and sojourn in like 3
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I typically finish the new books the day after they come out because they are SO DAMN HARD TO PUT DOWN.
But When I read the beginning books I was averaging 4-10 days per book. XB
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I know what you mean but i wish i could read them consecutively instead of have to put each book on hold once at a time because they weren't there or had to come from other people who had them and what not. They are so hard to pull out from the library because of how old they are but they are still good books and have aged well
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Oh, I know the "having to wait" game. I just lucked out that my mother was an avid fantasy reader (300+ books in her collection) and all i had to do was buy the ones she didn't already have.
(Her books have aged less well than the ones at the library probably have, 
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I have a lot of books as well though I don't know exactly I probably have more that 200 books and most of them are the books that I've kept as a kid because I liked them. At least you have the resources to read the books because your mom has them but I'm not so lucky. I lucked out on getting my mom to even get the collectors edition of the dark elf trilogy i had to explain the whole thing to her because she thought the cover looked evil and i admit it it did look a bit frightening but i knew the stories better than that before i even read them. It's unfair that i have to wait while some person has the book for more than they should have it and I have to wait for like forever to get it from them to get it from their library to mine and then pick it up because my library doesn't have the book. The books i read always have to be put on wait, It's ALWAYS on wait!
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That's because they're the best!
(and lockwood's art is almost always falsely intimidating when it comes to book covers so, yeah, I know that feel.)
And yeah, I'm lucky that my mother was so into fantasy for so long, (I mean, the woman wrote for Gary Gygax for cryin out loud)
I hope your library gets the books soon, or you have the time to pop into a bookstore and read them there!
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I have to first get to the library before i can get the books...You know the most rage inducing thing? I checked to see if my school library has them and they only had one and it was like at the very end. When i went to check the whole seminole county to see if they had they had the books they had them but only like about seven or eight and none of them were the ones i was looking for and they were at different schools ONE of them was an elementary school. I was so pissed! Half of those books weren't even writen by R.A Salvatore
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School libraries suck like that.
Even county libraries. I used to do volunteer work at one and the only Salvatore books they had were the new ones.
I have noticed the book stores, especially chains like B&N tend to have most if not all of the books and (at least B&N does this) they don't really care if you just sit and read them. (but going to bookstores and not being able to take them home without paying for them is kind of a major pain. 
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Yea i know but I only have 2 pennies and I usually don't have the "resources" to go to the library and the time to just sit down and read them through like that...I feel so bad it's just depressing having people who have read the series and gotten further than you and then they knew the hidden secrets and just seem to tease you about how much they know..It's just frustrating.
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I feel the same way about A Song of Ice and Fire OMG.
Eventually it stops getting to you, and spoilers aren't as bad because now you're like "BUT WHY" and no one has the answer because they were too focused on the events themselves, so you'll have to read the shit anyway.
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I guess you are right but it's still frustrating thank goodness it's Friday and i can go tomorrow
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YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW IT I'M LISTENING TO THE BOOK!!!!
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I'M AN IDIOT WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE???!!!! I COULD JUST LISTEN TO THE BOOKS ONLINE FOR FREE AT YOUTUBE. URGH I'M AN IDIOT!!!
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Oooh. (let's just hope the readers don't suck.)
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She sucks...*goes to ranting and yelling*
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I'm sorry.
The only other option I can see is torrenting digital copies.
A friend of mine in Orlando got hers that way. I'll ask her where she got 'em next time I get in touch with her.
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...Yea never mind. I'll just figure something out
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That bites, man.
Good luck.
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