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Well, I'm in the middle of one of the more emotional weeks of my year.
It was a typical night Friday/Saturday morning. The receptionist had just left leaving me to handle a case. I got the case handled and finished. It was at this time I checked my phone and got a text from my boyfriend. One of my friends had been hit by a car and killed. I finished up my things and retreated to the doctor's office. I told my vet what had happened and it was a huge shock to both of us. I broke down crying which shocked the TA walking in. This was me, I never cry. I'm emotionless, I joke at the worst times and here I am crying my heart out. Suddenly, we had things to do, and I kept going. It's unlike me to clean up after myself or really tidy like mad. that night, everything was spotless. My TA worried and finally, when there was nothing to do, I retreated to the office once again and brooded. Justin followed me in and talked, asking me what happened. I said "This is the third one..." he whispered "Doesn't make it any easier" I broke down again, it was so true.

I worked the next night and headed up to Edmonton the next afternoon. I was relieved that the boyfriend of my friend was fine. We spent the evening with him. Then I went home with my boyfriend. It was at that point, the gravity of it all really hit home. It was just so close to home. Here is a typical girl, typical life. Moved from a small town to the big city. Has a boyfriend that adores her. I remember the boyfriend turned to her facebook page and there as the cover was a picture of her, me and another friend of ours smiling in the box of a pick up truck. I note it and the boyfriend whispered "Yes, it was her favourite picture because she had so much fun that day with you two" It kind of haunts me now because I am part of basically one of the last great memories she had. It was a twist of fate that I even met her since that event was on a weekend that I requested off just so I could enjoy the Motorshow. I never get weekends off and that was my first one in 5 months. It also haunts me because...come on, a good chunk of our furry community is mourning her and here she is with two of the most hated people in the community. IRONY! Well, it's a haunting now, but later on it will be a blessing.
Martin and I embraced in bed that night. He admitted he hasn't slept since that night and that it shocked him. Then the deeper conversation.

Martin: I'm so glad you're still with me. I don't know what I'd do if you were gone
Me: Mourn a bit...pick up and get on with your life. You'll find someone else
Martin: You're the only one who's loved me, given me a legitimate chance.
Martin: What I'm glad for is that Zack's getting tons of support. I wouldn't have that if I lost you.
Me: you'd have Kiba, Kin, Shen, Dezu.
Martin: They're great but that's not the community...
Me: That's what you get for dating violent ol' me. More or less there'd be a celebration if I died...Forget pictures of angels and clouds...there'd be pictures of me literally burning in hell...
Martin: You're just not a doormat...people don't tend to like that when you prove it...

Ok, that went off topic but I figured some comic relief was in order...right? Honestly, that IS what would happen...Ok ok, back on topic. So the next day was me playing phone tag at work. Goodness gracious is it really that hard to get time off work for a funeral to the point I have to make a total of 11 calls? Good news is I got a day and a half off. Then it was off to a visit with a friend of mine. We both reflect on what happened and how tough it is. It was nice to talk to someone else who didn't feel angry about the situation. I think about the driver that hit my friend. I can't find it in my heart to be mad at him at all. What it comes down to is that it's an accident, it happens. He has to live with the guilt that he killed someone for the rest of his life. That is a horrible burden to bear. I've watched my dad who was once a proud man become a shrunken kitten. He once killed someone behind the wheel, he nearly killed me in that same accident. This is a man who NEVER cried, who NEVER showed emotion and here he is crying like a baby in front of his son. It was described as "a horrible thing to watch" and I believe it.

Next day, today. Well, did not go well. I wish I could turn off my emotions but I'm human and we are emotional creatures. I think I made enough mistakes today to last a year. My poor poor vet probably nearly caused herself a brain embolism. Once I explained myself at the end of my shift, at least my vet understood why I was not all there. Yikes!

Well, tomorrow I'm heading back to Edmonton. Hopefully, going to miss dinner.