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Published: 2016-11-02 00:05:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 3590; Favourites: 57; Downloads: 0
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The elevator took them to the basement of the hospital, and she followed the orderly left through the open doors and down the pale green hallway. He was speaking, but she found the hum of the overhead fluorescent lights and the exquisite clarity of her heels striking a staccato rhythm against the linoleum floor distracted her, and she missed most of what he said."...not uncommon for the initial emotional response to be overwhelming, but you'll find the dampeners will help balance it out if it gets too much. You'll find a comfortable level once you learn to control it..."
A set of double door swung open in anticipation of their approach, and closed silently behind them once they'd passed.
He stopped near the end of the hall at a single solid door, and turned to face her.
"Are you ready? I'll be right here if you need me."
"Yes," she spoke, the sound of her voice unfamiliar in her ears, "I'm ready."
He pushed through the door and stepped into the room beyond, holding the door for her until she'd followed him inside.
In the middle of the room was a gurney, lit by a single overhead fixture that bathed its length in cool white light. On the gurney itself was the body of a man, draped in a clean blue sheet, turned down at the shoulders. The rest of the room was lost in shadows, but this is why she was here. To see.
She moved slowly around the body, regarding his face from all angles. His skin now grey and lifeless, his hair, once deep auburn now streaked with grey and white at the edges. His eyes were closed, but she could see clearly in her mind the crystal blue that they were when he was alive.
"Can I...", she hesitated, reaching without realizing towards him.
"Touch him?" the orderly replied, "of course, yes, he won't mind."
She smiled despite herself at the awkward remark, he was probably unaccustomed to these encounters himself.
She cradled the man's face in her hands, and then ran her fingers through his hair. She'd done so a thousand times before, but the sensation was so much different now, the texture of each strand against her skin captured with such fidelity.
A sudden flush of heat started in her chest and rose through her neck into her cheeks. She could feel her heart racing, and a sudden feeling of panic crashed over her like a wave.
"It's alright," the orderly was speaking again, "It's alright, give it a moment and the dampeners will kick in."
She gripped the side of the gurney with both hands until the feeling faded, and a calmness crept in, a soothing cool pushing the overwhelming emotions aside.
"It will take some time with the new suit while it adjusts to your personal emotional stimuli." He was facing her across the body now, watching her. "There are safeties, obviously, that will catch things before they can get out of control, but once the initial calibration period is behind you, you'll be able to access and control specific tolerances to sensation, light and sound, and establish your own comfortable emotional boundaries."
She looked back at the lifeless body on the gurney before her.
"I imagine it's quite a shock," the orderly continued, "to see yourself like this." From his tone she could tell he was original equipment himself.
"Not really," she replied, "he hadn't been me for years."
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Comments: 63
SRSmith In reply to KCKinny [2019-07-01 00:58:49 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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GDeyke [2019-05-30 08:37:01 +0000 UTC]
I thought that was where this was going, but all the same I really like that ending.
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bookcrusher [2018-08-02 09:25:27 +0000 UTC]
I certainly did not expect that last line! But I enjoyed this
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SRSmith In reply to bookcrusher [2018-08-02 13:23:30 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
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thebalefulprimal [2018-08-01 21:16:59 +0000 UTC]
That twist at the end leaves me hoping for more of this to come! Wonderfully written, thank you for sharing.
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SRSmith In reply to thebalefulprimal [2018-08-02 13:25:05 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for reading, the watch, , and comment!
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thebalefulprimal In reply to SRSmith [2018-08-02 15:38:12 +0000 UTC]
My pleasure! I enjoyed reading what I found, will be spelunkingΒ
more soon.
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SRSmith In reply to thebalefulprimal [2018-08-03 06:05:44 +0000 UTC]
I hope you find more you like!
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Guacamayo97 [2017-01-06 04:54:51 +0000 UTC]
Tell me this is just the beginning of something loooong, please π
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SRSmith In reply to Guacamayo97 [2017-01-06 16:45:49 +0000 UTC]
Most of my work exists in a larger, shared universe, and often they're explorations of a character or an idea, so this will resurface as part of a larger work in the future.
Thanks very much for your comment!Β
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SRSmith In reply to Phenix59 [2016-12-29 14:10:33 +0000 UTC]
Thanks very much for the wonderful comment and 's!
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Phenix59 In reply to SRSmith [2016-12-30 03:49:21 +0000 UTC]
Fantastic story Sir loved the ending
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SRSmith In reply to Phenix59 [2016-12-30 04:53:12 +0000 UTC]
Endings are my spec-i-ality!Β Β
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Sharpedon [2016-12-17 08:44:08 +0000 UTC]
I loved the story, and particulrly the clever twist at the end. I think (after writing short stories for years) I'll try dipping my toes into flash fiction as well. They are like the Haikus of prose, right?
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SRSmith In reply to Sharpedon [2016-12-18 03:55:07 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for the wonderful comment, and I'm very happy to hear you'd like to give flash fiction a try. 'Haiku of prose' - I like that!
Let me know when you've got something written you'd like reading, and I'll be happy to give you feedback.
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Sharpedon In reply to SRSmith [2016-12-18 05:50:35 +0000 UTC]
You are welcome Stephen At the moment I have only posted two poems and the first part of a 5 part short story, but I think I'll be posting one new material per day on average. They are three very different pieces, from 3 distinct genres effectively, so I'm not sure which one would be more to your liking. "Unbearable.." is a sci-fi poem, but only on the surface, which is why I categorized it as a romantic poem. "Dust" is a horror poem. And "Amanda and Thomas" is a semi-autobiographical BDSM - romance related short story. So, take your pick or wait for my flash fiction piece
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SRSmith In reply to Sharpedon [2016-12-18 06:16:32 +0000 UTC]
Flash is my sweet spot, so ping me when you've posted a flash piece and I'll give you some feedback on that. I've written the occasional poem, but I've got nothing useful to offer anyone on them, and I've not got nearly enough bandwidth to critique stories of anything longer than flash length.
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Sharpedon In reply to SRSmith [2016-12-18 07:17:32 +0000 UTC]
Understood Stephen, will do
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Itraka [2016-12-14 19:56:26 +0000 UTC]
I'm slightly confused ;0; I hope someone could explain?
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SRSmith In reply to Itraka [2016-12-15 03:08:47 +0000 UTC]
The woman is viewing her recently deceased male body after transitioning into a new artificial female one.
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Itraka In reply to SRSmith [2016-12-15 03:42:20 +0000 UTC]
Okay, I got that part down.
what confused me was probably the last line, perhaps the...context?
"He hadn't been me for years"?
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SRSmith In reply to Itraka [2016-12-15 03:54:46 +0000 UTC]
The allusion is that even in the man's body, she hadn't felt like a man for years.
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Itraka In reply to SRSmith [2016-12-15 14:47:41 +0000 UTC]
aahh okay! i can understand it all a lot better now; it allows me to better appreciate this!thanks
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GDeyke [2016-12-14 18:45:28 +0000 UTC]
Love that ending. Love the way this suggests a larger world, too.
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SRSmith In reply to GDeyke [2016-12-15 03:07:19 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! Most of my stories are insights into a larger world.
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TheWarOfTheRing [2016-12-14 17:28:37 +0000 UTC]
This is a cool concept! Congrats on the DD
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LindArtz [2016-12-14 16:49:42 +0000 UTC]
haha! Β A terrific read! Very well done.
!Β Β Congratulations on your much deserved DD!Β Enjoy the limelight.
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SRSmith In reply to LindArtz [2016-12-15 03:06:42 +0000 UTC]
Thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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catluvr2 [2016-12-14 11:14:54 +0000 UTC]
Any chance of expanding this universe?
Congrats on the DD!
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SRSmith In reply to catluvr2 [2016-12-15 03:06:04 +0000 UTC]
Most of what I write figures into a larger universe.
Thank you!
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alexandersinnelius [2016-12-14 09:04:30 +0000 UTC]
A very strange writing.Β
I couldn't help but visualizing this on several different kinds of genre.
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SRSmith In reply to alexandersinnelius [2016-12-15 03:06:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm all about the strange!
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HellPayne [2016-12-12 04:14:05 +0000 UTC]
I would like my passport stamped at the entrance gates of your world, please. I'll need an extended visa, too, for I may not want to return.
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SRSmith In reply to HellPayne [2016-12-12 04:36:31 +0000 UTC]
Thanks very much, both for the comment and the 's! My world isn't always..., well let's be honest, it's almost never sunshine and roses, but I do appreciate you taking the time to wander around in it!
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HellPayne In reply to SRSmith [2016-12-12 04:40:44 +0000 UTC]
I'm more comfortable in the shadows, anyway. You are an amazing writer who clearly has worked hard to define his style and hone his craft. I appreciate you sharing.
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SRSmith In reply to HellPayne [2016-12-12 04:53:04 +0000 UTC]
That's really nice to hear - thank you!
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