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Description

it's like living on a cliffside, not knowing when you'll dive. do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?

Character

Name: Ashkit | Ashpaw | Ashrose

[Ash] - For the grey patches of fur, as the ginger hadn't darkened when she was born.

[Rose] - Her thorny yet sweet personality.

Clan: Shadowclan

Age: 47 Moons

Rank: Warrior

Gender: She-cat

Appearance details: Notable features include folded ears, spots on her cheeks, and the curly tuft of hair upon her skull.

History

chapter one. kithood.

leaf-bare has always been hard on mothers to be. kits born in this season usually die from the cold, if not from the illness that seems to strike the camp. shadowclan is no exception to this rule, as strong and unchanging as they may appear to be to the other clans. while palewing and foxstrike most definitely did not plan on having kits in this dastardly season, they were elated nonetheless when the medicine cat, fawndream, confirmed palewing's pregnancy. they were scared, of course, but a few reassurrances from palewing's grandfather had their worries mostly abated. however, disaster struck on the day that little ashkit was born. palewing had been out on a walk, escorted by the medicine cat, when a sudden storm took the territory by surprise. snow seemed to cover them in minutes, and it made it near impossible for them to return to camp. palewing was even more shocked when she felt that her kit was ready to come, and was forced to have said kit out in the snow. she and fawndream were both horrified to see the tiny kit, worried that being out in the snow so soon after birth would kill the scrap of fur. when they arrived back at camp, foxstrike named the kit ashkit for her dusty grey fur that had been so fluffed up against the cold, like plumes of soft ash. however, her father also shared his mate's worries. their worries were confirmed when a few days after her birth, the kit developed a bout of the sniffles. however, soon after being born, ashkit took to her mother's belly like a starved man, and fattened up within weeks. she opened her eyes in just eight days, amazed by the world around her. her kithood was relatively uneventful, and as an only kit her parents constantly showered her with affection. she grew strong under her parents' love and finally the day came that she would earn her apprentice name and fully begin to train as a warrior.

chapter two. apprenticeship.

ashkit's apprentice ceremony was on a sunny, warm new-leaf afternoon. she remembers her mother's tongue rasping over her ears, trying in vain to tame the curled tuft of hair that sat in the middle of her forehead. alas, she was due to go out and meet her mentor, which she did with a smile. her mentor was to be whitetrack, a large grey tom with bright white paws that were nearly the size of ashpaw's head. at first, she was intimidated by the older cat. however, through many intense training sessions with him, they realized that they worked well together as a team. it was during the early parts of her apprentice ship that the she-cat met crowtint. the older cat was originally somewhat of a kittencrush for her, a tom she admired but never thought she'd have a chance with. so focused in her own studies, she failed to notice that sometimes when he eyes dared to look away from that dark pelt, his eyes would find her snowy one instead. had she seen his eyes catching on her fur, she might have pursued a different path come her warriorhood. she passed her warrior ceremony with flying colors, and a beaming smile from her mentor. in reality, the smile from her mentor was much better than even the praise from her leader had been.

chapter three. harriet.

warriorhood had brought about more patrols and more duties for the she-cat. some of these things, like being out and hunting for her clan, she welcomed with open paws. other things such as dawn patrol weren't exactly on her list of favorite things to undertake each day. however, being a fully-fledged warrior gave her plenty of freedoms she didn't think she would have before. it also gave her more chances to be out on patrol with crowtint without being under the watchful eye of her mentor. during this time, she found herself falling deeper into affection for the older tom, but thought that due to their age difference and his anti-social behavior, he wouldn't be interested in someone like her. that eventually drove her to go on more solo expeditions, where she eventually met a former kittypet named harriet. it was obvious that the tom hadn't been out of his den for long, as he was still well defined and well groomed in a way that even her clanmates weren't. harriet was attractive to her from the very beginning, showing her the kind of affection that had never been shown to her by a tom before. she was only eighteen moons when she met him, and spent the entirety of the rest of the time dancing around him, eventually becoming mates. it was a secret to all of her peers and clanmates. of course, none of them would approve of her relationship with a non-clan cat, especially a loner who seemed to have such a good life while she and her clanmates suffered through the cold winters. it was the month the famine started that she realized she was pregnant, and coincidentally it was the month that she realized she was pregnant that harriet disappeared. not dead, just disappeared. she was distraught, and trapped herself into the nursery through the last month of her pregnancy. she regretted bringing a kit into the clan in such a dire time, but not for a single moment did she regret having that kit at all.

chapter four. strongkit.

had she been paying any attention, she would have known that crowtint's eyes seemed to be drawn to her as her pregnancy furthered. instead, she concerned herself with her own life. she focused on her pregnancy, making sure that everything worked out the way it should work, despite the fact that it was a hard time for the clans. when her kit was finally born, she named him strongkit for his small size, hoping it would give him strength, and he easily became one of the most important figures in her life. it wasn't until the kit was a month old that she realized he was mute, as he'd yet to speak even to her, his mother. during her time in the nursery, crowtint visited multiple times. never, to ashrose's relief, did he try to father her kit. he never tried to take over raising her kit from her, and instead brought her prey and groomed her when she was too tired to do so herself. as her kit grew, so did her worry for the famine. when the clans finally made the decision to leave, she scooped up her kit and sent pleading eyes to crowtint and went on her way. her ex-mentor, whitetrack, had decided to stay behind to help with those who were unable to make the journey. crowtint was a major help during the journey, even if it was just helping with catching prey for the weary she-cat. towards the end of the journey, tragedy struck. strongkit went missing. ashrose fought to get the help she needed to find her kit, but it never worked out. she blamed starclan for the tragedy, and then blamed herself for having a kit during a time when the clans were in need. surely starclan was punishing her for her transgression, in their own fucked up way. she found herself emotionally blank in a way she'd never felt before, feeling like an empty shell that used to be the cat she was before. she found comfort in crowtint in a way that she never did before, as he opened up his nest to her like she'd never imagined possible. it was at her lowest point that he managed to reaffirm that she was important, and that she meant the world to more than just her parents and her missing kit.

chapter five. the crow's nest.

arriving in the new territory felt like coming to an alien land. being so far away from her home, where she'd grown up and where she'd been her whole life, messed with her already fragile emotional and mental state. she was still empty inside, hollow from the loss of her child. every day she felt like she leaned on crowtint even more, but to her relief, he was there for her. a steady weight to keep her afloat when she felt like she was due to sink. when they settled into a new camp, she found herself crawling into crowtint's nest instead of forming her own, tucking her snowy fur into his and reveling in the warmth that he brought her. as the days progressed, she found herself perking up, albeit only slightly. he brought a new light to her when she thought her whole world was dark, and she essentially became a pale furred shadow to the dark tom. when they finally became mates, it seemed like a home-coming that they'd both been waiting for for months, and they realized that if they hadn't been so foolish, they could have had this happiness earlier. with every moment she spent with him, her personality was taking slow, stuttering steps back toward how she used to be. he was the force stablizing her and there was not a day that she didn't thank him for it.

About

Personality:

+ clever, daring, selfless
clever :: ashrose usually knows her way out of a problem with a quick and easy solution, and is quite proud of this fact.
daring :: she's not afraid to rise to a challenge, no matter how scary the challenge may seem.
selfless :: her family comes before her, and that's non-negotiable.

> determined, proud, stubborn
determined :: very little can steer this queen away from the course she's decided on.
proud :: she's done some good things, and she isn't ashamed of the bad.
stubborn :: once she's made her choice, it's hard to sway her otherwise. especially when she's wrong.

- overwhelming, overly self-critical, clumsy
overwhelming :: due to her loud personality, it's sometimes a lot to be around her. this got worse after she lost her kit, as now she's overwhelming with grief instead of joy.
overly self-critical :: after losing strongkit, everything she does is something for her to critcize herself over -- more often than not these things are ridiculously out of her control, and yet she beats herself up for them regardless. everything could be better, and nothing is good enough -- at least when it comes to herself.
clumsy :: sometimes it's hard for her to figure out where her paws are going, leading her to trip over more things than not.

Likes: the smell of rain, fresh dew, the feel of moss under her paws

Dislikes: early morning patrols, having to wake up and leave crow's nest

Other Information:
she's usually a huge dork i swear she's just been through a lot

Relationships

Orientation: Interested in both, looking more for toms.

Looking for: Not looking.

Ideal Relationship and Traits:
Someone who will help her get through her hardest times and be there to build her back up again, and someone who can handle her spitfire personality when she's actually at her best.

dark pelts
grumpy 'tudes
loving hearts

Mentor: Whitetrack

Apprentice: None.

Crush: Crowtint

Mate: Crowtint

Ex-Mate/s: Harriet (loner)

Kin:

Mother: Palewing (npc)

Father: Foxstrike (npc)

Grandfather: Fogeye (npc)
Kit(s): Strongkit

Roleplay

“I’m horribly sorry,” he started as soon as they sat down, setting the pike at their paws in front of him. “I really don’t – do this often, this whole. Talking to. Older warriors. I mean, outside of being on patrols, or being assigned patrols, or the rare cases where I have to go into the medicine cat’s den.” He had to force himself to stop rambling again, if not just because Mothfrost was looking at him expectantly. He closed his mouth to let him speak, then actually let a warm, rumbled laugh. If anything, his purring got louder.
Pigeondive loved telling this story. It was one of his top three favorites, if not the best story he had to tell about himself. He cleared his throat. “It’s. Well. I do this a lot,” he explained. “When I was doing my training assessment, I noticed a shadow under the water. This massive salmon, right? Could have fed at least four cats. And I’m thinking, there’s no way I can fish that out. And I notice that the river’s a bit less strong, and I impulsively dive into the river. And I catch the thing.” He gesticulates with one paw before he realized what he was doing. “I didn’t even care that I was sopping wet. I had the fish.” He’s a lot calmer, he realizes. Telling this story, along with the gentle rasp of Mothfrost’s tongue, had his nerves subsiding dramatically. “So, long-story short, It’s just a thing I do. I just.. I was so focused on getting this fish, that I kinda forgot about the fact that it’s, oh, I don’t know, freezing cold outside. I think my whiskers might shatter,” he tells him, putting on a fake very serious tone. “But, if um. Pike’s your favorite.. then I’m glad I got drenched so you could enjoy your favorite fish.”

Preferred methods:
discord -- yes
forums -- yes

Description

it's like living on a cliffside, not knowing when you'll dive. do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?

Character

Name: Ashkit | Ashpaw | Ashrose

[Ash] - For the grey patches of fur, as the ginger hadn't darkened when she was born.

[Rose] - Her thorny yet sweet personality.

Clan: Shadowclan

Age: 47 Moons

Rank: Warrior

Gender: She-cat

Appearance details: Notable features include folded ears, spots on her cheeks, and the curly tuft of hair upon her skull.

History

chapter one. kithood.

leaf-bare has always been hard on mothers to be. kits born in this season usually die from the cold, if not from the illness that seems to strike the camp. shadowclan is no exception to this rule, as strong and unchanging as they may appear to be to the other clans. while palewing and foxstrike most definitely did not plan on having kits in this dastardly season, they were elated nonetheless when the medicine cat, fawndream, confirmed palewing's pregnancy. they were scared, of course, but a few reassurrances from palewing's grandfather had their worries mostly abated. however, disaster struck on the day that little ashkit was born. palewing had been out on a walk, escorted by the medicine cat, when a sudden storm took the territory by surprise. snow seemed to cover them in minutes, and it made it near impossible for them to return to camp. palewing was even more shocked when she felt that her kit was ready to come, and was forced to have said kit out in the snow. she and fawndream were both horrified to see the tiny kit, worried that being out in the snow so soon after birth would kill the scrap of fur. when they arrived back at camp, foxstrike named the kit ashkit for her dusty grey fur that had been so fluffed up against the cold, like plumes of soft ash. however, her father also shared his mate's worries. their worries were confirmed when a few days after her birth, the kit developed a bout of the sniffles. however, soon after being born, ashkit took to her mother's belly like a starved man, and fattened up within weeks. she opened her eyes in just eight days, amazed by the world around her. her kithood was relatively uneventful, and as an only kit her parents constantly showered her with affection. she grew strong under her parents' love and finally the day came that she would earn her apprentice name and fully begin to train as a warrior.

chapter two. apprenticeship.

ashkit's apprentice ceremony was on a sunny, warm new-leaf afternoon. she remembers her mother's tongue rasping over her ears, trying in vain to tame the curled tuft of hair that sat in the middle of her forehead. alas, she was due to go out and meet her mentor, which she did with a smile. her mentor was to be whitetrack, a large grey tom with bright white paws that were nearly the size of ashpaw's head. at first, she was intimidated by the older cat. however, through many intense training sessions with him, they realized that they worked well together as a team. it was during the early parts of her apprentice ship that the she-cat met crowtint. the older cat was originally somewhat of a kittencrush for her, a tom she admired but never thought she'd have a chance with. so focused in her own studies, she failed to notice that sometimes when he eyes dared to look away from that dark pelt, his eyes would find her snowy one instead. had she seen his eyes catching on her fur, she might have pursued a different path come her warriorhood. she passed her warrior ceremony with flying colors, and a beaming smile from her mentor. in reality, the smile from her mentor was much better than even the praise from her leader had been.

chapter three. harriet.

warriorhood had brought about more patrols and more duties for the she-cat. some of these things, like being out and hunting for her clan, she welcomed with open paws. other things such as dawn patrol weren't exactly on her list of favorite things to undertake each day. however, being a fully-fledged warrior gave her plenty of freedoms she didn't think she would have before. it also gave her more chances to be out on patrol with crowtint without being under the watchful eye of her mentor. during this time, she found herself falling deeper into affection for the older tom, but thought that due to their age difference and his anti-social behavior, he wouldn't be interested in someone like her. that eventually drove her to go on more solo expeditions, where she eventually met a former kittypet named harriet. it was obvious that the tom hadn't been out of his den for long, as he was still well defined and well groomed in a way that even her clanmates weren't. harriet was attractive to her from the very beginning, showing her the kind of affection that had never been shown to her by a tom before. she was only eighteen moons when she met him, and spent the entirety of the rest of the time dancing around him, eventually becoming mates. it was a secret to all of her peers and clanmates. of course, none of them would approve of her relationship with a non-clan cat, especially a loner who seemed to have such a good life while she and her clanmates suffered through the cold winters. it was the month the famine started that she realized she was pregnant, and coincidentally it was the month that she realized she was pregnant that harriet disappeared. not dead, just disappeared. she was distraught, and trapped herself into the nursery through the last month of her pregnancy. she regretted bringing a kit into the clan in such a dire time, but not for a single moment did she regret having that kit at all.

chapter four. strongkit.

had she been paying any attention, she would have known that crowtint's eyes seemed to be drawn to her as her pregnancy furthered. instead, she concerned herself with her own life. she focused on her pregnancy, making sure that everything worked out the way it should work, despite the fact that it was a hard time for the clans. when her kit was finally born, she named him strongkit for his small size, hoping it would give him strength, and he easily became one of the most important figures in her life. it wasn't until the kit was a month old that she realized he was mute, as he'd yet to speak even to her, his mother. during her time in the nursery, crowtint visited multiple times. never, to ashrose's relief, did he try to father her kit. he never tried to take over raising her kit from her, and instead brought her prey and groomed her when she was too tired to do so herself. as her kit grew, so did her worry for the famine. when the clans finally made the decision to leave, she scooped up her kit and sent pleading eyes to crowtint and went on her way. her ex-mentor, whitetrack, had decided to stay behind to help with those who were unable to make the journey. crowtint was a major help during the journey, even if it was just helping with catching prey for the weary she-cat. towards the end of the journey, tragedy struck. strongkit went missing. ashrose fought to get the help she needed to find her kit, but it never worked out. she blamed starclan for the tragedy, and then blamed herself for having a kit during a time when the clans were in need. surely starclan was punishing her for her transgression, in their own fucked up way. she found herself emotionally blank in a way she'd never felt before, feeling like an empty shell that used to be the cat she was before. she found comfort in crowtint in a way that she never did before, as he opened up his nest to her like she'd never imagined possible. it was at her lowest point that he managed to reaffirm that she was important, and that she meant the world to more than just her parents and her missing kit.

chapter five. the crow's nest.

arriving in the new territory felt like coming to an alien land. being so far away from her home, where she'd grown up and where she'd been her whole life, messed with her already fragile emotional and mental state. she was still empty inside, hollow from the loss of her child. every day she felt like she leaned on crowtint even more, but to her relief, he was there for her. a steady weight to keep her afloat when she felt like she was due to sink. when they settled into a new camp, she found herself crawling into crowtint's nest instead of forming her own, tucking her snowy fur into his and reveling in the warmth that he brought her. as the days progressed, she found herself perking up, albeit only slightly. he brought a new light to her when she thought her whole world was dark, and she essentially became a pale furred shadow to the dark tom. when they finally became mates, it seemed like a home-coming that they'd both been waiting for for months, and they realized that if they hadn't been so foolish, they could have had this happiness earlier. with every moment she spent with him, her personality was taking slow, stuttering steps back toward how she used to be. he was the force stablizing her and there was not a day that she didn't thank him for it.

About

Personality:

+ clever, daring, selfless
clever :: ashrose usually knows her way out of a problem with a quick and easy solution, and is quite proud of this fact.
daring :: she's not afraid to rise to a challenge, no matter how scary the challenge may seem.
selfless :: her family comes before her, and that's non-negotiable.

> determined, proud, stubborn
determined :: very little can steer this queen away from the course she's decided on.
proud :: she's done some good things, and she isn't ashamed of the bad.
stubborn :: once she's made her choice, it's hard to sway her otherwise. especially when she's wrong.

- overwhelming, overly self-critical, clumsy
overwhelming :: due to her loud personality, it's sometimes a lot to be around her. this got worse after she lost her kit, as now she's overwhelming with grief instead of joy.
overly self-critical :: after losing strongkit, everything she does is something for her to critcize herself over -- more often than not these things are ridiculously out of her control, and yet she beats herself up for them regardless. everything could be better, and nothing is good enough -- at least when it comes to herself.
clumsy :: sometimes it's hard for her to figure out where her paws are going, leading her to trip over more things than not.

Likes: the smell of rain, fresh dew, the feel of moss under her paws

Dislikes: early morning patrols, having to wake up and leave crow's nest

Other Information:
she's usually a huge dork i swear she's just been through a lot

Relationships

Orientation: Interested in both, looking more for toms.

Looking for: Not looking.

Ideal Relationship and Traits:
Someone who will help her get through her hardest times and be there to build her back up again, and someone who can handle her spitfire personality when she's actually at her best.

dark pelts
grumpy 'tudes
loving hearts

Mentor: Whitetrack

Apprentice: None.

Crush: Crowtint

Mate: Crowtint

Ex-Mate/s: Harriet (loner)

Kin:

Mother: Palewing (npc)

Father: Foxstrike (npc)

Grandfather: Fogeye (npc)
Kit(s): Strongkit

Roleplay

“I’m horribly sorry,” he started as soon as they sat down, setting the pike at their paws in front of him. “I really don’t – do this often, this whole. Talking to. Older warriors. I mean, outside of being on patrols, or being assigned patrols, or the rare cases where I have to go into the medicine cat’s den.” He had to force himself to stop rambling again, if not just because Mothfrost was looking at him expectantly. He closed his mouth to let him speak, then actually let a warm, rumbled laugh. If anything, his purring got louder.
Pigeondive loved telling this story. It was one of his top three favorites, if not the best story he had to tell about himself. He cleared his throat. “It’s. Well. I do this a lot,” he explained. “When I was doing my training assessment, I noticed a shadow under the water. This massive salmon, right? Could have fed at least four cats. And I’m thinking, there’s no way I can fish that out. And I notice that the river’s a bit less strong, and I impulsively dive into the river. And I catch the thing.” He gesticulates with one paw before he realized what he was doing. “I didn’t even care that I was sopping wet. I had the fish.” He’s a lot calmer, he realizes. Telling this story, along with the gentle rasp of Mothfrost’s tongue, had his nerves subsiding dramatically. “So, long-story short, It’s just a thing I do. I just.. I was so focused on getting this fish, that I kinda forgot about the fact that it’s, oh, I don’t know, freezing cold outside. I think my whiskers might shatter,” he tells him, putting on a fake very serious tone. “But, if um. Pike’s your favorite.. then I’m glad I got drenched so you could enjoy your favorite fish.”

Preferred methods:
discord -- yes
forums -- yes