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StuartJAtkinson — Heartbreak
Published: 2005-06-19 20:19:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 222; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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Description Heartbreak

My heart was broke, and sourly I wept,
For all the foul, doubts that crept,
Up in my mind and poisoned me.
And in my damn’d jealousy,
Twisted thy visage from your truth,
To something that I thought uncouth.

It started when, to my regret,
You gave me cause, to suspect,
That you and he were more than friends,
Which lead me to those wicked ends.
A scorching ache upon my soul,
A piercing itch, a blazing hole.

A gun I brought, a soul to capture,
But brought about thy final rapture.
In the darkness I attempted to constrain,
One missed shot brought out the pain.
Peaceful forever in my arms you slept,
My heart is broke, and sourly I wept.
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Comments: 12

Habikoru-Sora [2006-06-17 17:45:50 +0000 UTC]

it's... *snif* so touching....

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

punkmunkyuk [2005-06-21 14:04:08 +0000 UTC]

i think this is a very good attempt one of the hardest things to write about imo

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

StuartJAtkinson In reply to punkmunkyuk [2005-06-21 14:28:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank You

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

punkmunkyuk In reply to StuartJAtkinson [2005-06-21 14:58:42 +0000 UTC]

no probs

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lupus22 [2005-06-20 13:47:03 +0000 UTC]

ye youve nearly captured how it is. its great for a first try at ramance writing. great work

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

StuartJAtkinson In reply to lupus22 [2005-06-20 15:01:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

oddballgirl13 [2005-06-20 03:20:26 +0000 UTC]

Whoa! your good! even smokein' good! sorry. a bit hyper here. i agree with pnub-x. yup. i do.

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StuartJAtkinson In reply to oddballgirl13 [2005-06-20 10:53:41 +0000 UTC]

Thanksie

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oddballgirl13 In reply to StuartJAtkinson [2005-06-24 19:14:21 +0000 UTC]

your welcomes

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pnub-x [2005-06-19 20:23:48 +0000 UTC]

not bad.. i get the mood of peaceful but stormy all at once.. greatly done

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StuartJAtkinson In reply to pnub-x [2005-06-19 20:53:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank yew

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pnub-x In reply to StuartJAtkinson [2005-06-19 22:14:34 +0000 UTC]

your welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0