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Published: 2005-06-19 20:19:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 222; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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Description
HeartbreakMy heart was broke, and sourly I wept,
For all the foul, doubts that crept,
Up in my mind and poisoned me.
And in my damn’d jealousy,
Twisted thy visage from your truth,
To something that I thought uncouth.
It started when, to my regret,
You gave me cause, to suspect,
That you and he were more than friends,
Which lead me to those wicked ends.
A scorching ache upon my soul,
A piercing itch, a blazing hole.
A gun I brought, a soul to capture,
But brought about thy final rapture.
In the darkness I attempted to constrain,
One missed shot brought out the pain.
Peaceful forever in my arms you slept,
My heart is broke, and sourly I wept.
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Comments: 12
punkmunkyuk [2005-06-21 14:04:08 +0000 UTC]
i think this is a very good attempt one of the hardest things to write about imo
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lupus22 [2005-06-20 13:47:03 +0000 UTC]
ye youve nearly captured how it is. its great for a first try at ramance writing. great work
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oddballgirl13 [2005-06-20 03:20:26 +0000 UTC]
Whoa! your good! even smokein' good! sorry. a bit hyper here. i agree with pnub-x. yup. i do.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pnub-x [2005-06-19 20:23:48 +0000 UTC]
not bad.. i get the mood of peaceful but stormy all at once.. greatly done
👍: 0 ⏩: 1