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superstitious13 — Disillusioned Devotion...
Published: 2006-06-07 02:17:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 475; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 21
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Description
“I miss you and the way you used to be.I miss your morning kisses and your daisy crown good-byes
Summer soft and simple, virgin-skin electric.
Chiffon vows in colours made to dazzle,
Promising in a transparent sort of way
You never ceased to amaze…
For I never ceased to make believe…
So you kept on dancing like the dream you were,
Covered in midnight-blue illusions beneath starlight
Untouched by the darkness just beyond your reach.
Your four-leaf clover smile bringing just enough luck
For me to feel a heartbeat.
I miss that feeling, and the way you used to be.
I miss your cherub’s breath and your satin-silk caress
Dandelion sure and sweet, deadly like only you could be.
The word “love” never sounded so three-dimensional
As it did when swimming in your voice…
Like these memories swimming in my head.
Here you’ll keep on dancing…
May you never miss a beat
As I keep on missing you.
May you never cease to amaze me
And may I never stop make-believing.”
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Comments: 29
No Cort, YOU never cease to amaze... Now I'm all fuzzy inside, which can't be good for my pancreas... >_< *falls over in fuzzyinside pain*
Bwah >_< Though I understand that it's a love of the unreal parts, yet, is it so wrong to want it? gah.
Now, I may not be a great judge of the written word or anything, but there is one thing I'm great with, and that's that I'm opinionated and usually right 
Great, now I'm going to be all happy at work today, everyone will be all like "WTFuck? Evan, why aren't you crabby?" And I'll be all like *Pokes their eyes* "Because Cortney is amazing, BIOTCHES" and then my boss will be all like "like, d00d, ZOMG WTF ROFLmallows" Which are like Marshmallows, but with 10x the ROFL in them... Anyways, point being, you've ruined my crappy mood, and just for that I'm faving this, so there, TAKE THAT~!
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You have no idea how happy that makes me! Thank you so much sweetheart, i'm always glad to bring joy to someone's life for sure. Keep on keepin' on darling
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I'd assume so!
Heheh, I'm guessing I was way off on my guess but way on with my pancreas.
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aww, you're cute. thank you.
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Once again, thanks so much, you're sweet!
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Nice piece Cort... 
Definetly a great piece though
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cortchel, you inspire me, you truly do. everytime i read your incredible work it reminds me more and more of the work of francesca lia block. but not in a you're-trying-to-sound-like-her kind of way but in a fantastic (in the truest sense of the word) warmfuzzyexcitinglyenvious kind of way, you know what i mean?
i absolutly adore the first paragaph. it is so magical but feels so real. the first part of the second stanza seems to be a bit more normal, or maybe it's just the "midnight blue" that throws me off. could you have used something more . . . fancifull? (sp?)
the end comes together amazingly. it's short and concise and we still have the magical descriptions ringing in our ears. it's like a light bulb; it ballons with query at the begining and smoothly rounds down to a complete finish, and the it shines in the darkness like a beacon.
bravo my love, excellent work!
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Ohhhh, honey...thank you so much, i miss you and we have to have an ice cream date soon!!!
<333333
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ice cream!! yeess!! i miss you too!!
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take me long enough to reply?
lol, thanks Skip!
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darling. this is deep, and i can relate in my own ways, its all how we interpret it. i love u cor, u are an aamazing person and this is an really good piece, im glad ur getting more in the mode of it all. ...
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Kristakins, i love you so very much. thank you, sweetheart 
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This is a really, really special poem. But more on that later.
In math class today, Mr. Dubyk was talking about sound waves. You remember when he said that at a node point, the two waves would cancel each other out, and there would be no sound? It'd a vacuum. Well, when I read this poem, that's how I feel. I feel like I'm standing in a vacuum, a single point where there is no sound, no breath, nothing except the essence of that poem. It's not so much the way you write it, but the ability you have to make the experience so intense.
I was ambivalent when I started reading it, because the lines were very heavy in the sense that you put a lot of description and a lot of words into them. But even the quality of your vocabulary is inspirational. Most poems I read have interesting turns of phrases and such, but seldom do I read a poem that feels like it was so esquisitely crafted. Poetry should be like a painting. Even though you don't like to be too structured, you still create a standard to which you adhere that's quite admirable.
That's still not why it's really, really special though.
There are two parts of the poem that I particularly like. The first part is the last two lines of the first stanza. In some way you manage to make them almost rhyme even though they don't, and they sound very right. And it acts as a sort of stepping stone for the rest of the poem. The other part is the last stanza altogether. My feelings of ambivalence disappeared when I read it. It's like when a song is reaching its last few bars, and everyone knows that it will slow down and eventually stop. So the band tries to prolong it, just feeling the music, and the couples slow down with the melody, relishing those last few moments of joy before the music stops and that special atmosphere just disappears.
All right. You ready to know why this poem is really, really special?
I don't see any grammatical errors to point out! Bravo!
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Ben, I don't know if it's the fact that it's seven thirty in the morning, the lack of sleep i got last night, the fact that i haven't been able to write in forever, of if it's the fact that I've FINALLY written a poem with no grammatical errors(granted, when i first posted this i accidentally had "Dissuillusioned"...but that was quickly fixed)...but your comment has nearly brought me to tears.
Love always,
Cor
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its beautiful hun.
your always improving, this is very wonderful :]
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Thank you so much, darling
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this is exactly how i feel about love. i really like it.
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Thank you! I think that a lot of people either feel this way and own up to it, or feel this way and don't acknowledge it and just remain bitter. Mind you, it's seven thirty am, so i'm not really thinking rightly right now....guh.
Anyways, thank you so much
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