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Description

Colonel Cakearms:
Bernard Crimble was but a humble road-sweeper. One day his work led him to a bakery. How was he to know it was a front for a criminal genius who was experimenting with radioactive isotopes to poison baked goods and distribute them across the city? When the experiments went awry and the resultant explosion rocked downtown Cedar, ol’ Berny was caught in the blast. But he walked away changed. Renewed. With the ability to lose and regrow his arms to be made of any kind of cake of his choosing, he swore to prevent other disasters befalling innocents. That was the day he became, Colonel Cakearms. Battling crime and injustice, mainly graffiti, littering and excessive noise during unsociable hours, the pressures of the job became all too real. Soon he fell into a pit of despair which he combatted with debauched nights of drugs, drink, prostitution and forcing children to battle in underground fight rings. It was a dark stain on an otherwise wholesome if not entirely eventful career. Then he met Roseanne. Roseanne changed everything. An aspiring baker, she saw the man behind the cake arms. And so Berny hung up his helmet and went back to cleaning up the streets the good old-fashioned way: with his trusty broom. He swore never to go back to the life of a costumed hero again. Then disaster struck for a second time. He returned home one night to find Roseanne choked to death on her own focaccia and brutally stuff into a fridge. And everywhere there were clues. Clues in the shape…of crumbs. He knew this was a sign. A vast conspiracy. Some shady cabal. It was a message. And it needed a response. He suited up once more and gathered a team, sworn to fight against the evils of the city. Focused, determined and an all-round tragic and pitiful joke, Colonel Cakearms does what he can. Normally causing a lot of accidental destruction and brutal death as he does so. His quest? Uncover the secret underworld that is the Patissiers De La Mort - a name he has given to the very likely none existent forces he believe run the world and who, in his own mind, took Roseanne from him.

Ultra-Thermic Man:
Often known simply as ‘Therm’ to his friends, he is a walking enigma. The little of the past he has told reveals the tragedy of a soldier, chosen by his government to undergo a secret experiment. An experiment to make a soldier capable of wielding the flames of the sun. A soldier who, after these experiments, was cast aside, regarded as a failure due to the fact that he could seemingly only raise the body temperature of his hands to the level of (on a good day) a first-degree burn. Working part-time at a local deli, he uses his holiday days to battle alongside the Super Squad as Ultra-Thermic Man. But he has a secret. A shame he keeps even from his colleagues. See, they do not know his true power. Nor even his true name. When the government gave him powers, it was not just his hands that were blessed. When needed, he can release forth a jet of streaming magma from his body. Specifically, from one location. He can pee flames. It is, for this reason, that he has never revealed his true designation was Ultra-Thermic Infantryman.

D!€k Kicker:
Rikki Collins step-father was a genius. A criminal genius. He invented weapons of destructions for C.R.A.C.E.N. But more than that, he was just a really bad guy. After years of abuse, Rikki had enough. She broke into the secret laboratory beneath their home and looked to destroy his life’s work. What she found was the beginnings of an cutting-edge exo-suit. All that had been built were the boots. Strapping these on, she froze as her step-father entered the lab. He approached and Rikki was as terrified as she had ever been. This time however, she had the boots. And she kicked him right between the legs. Her step-father flew upwards, through the house, and crashed into a low-flying plane that was, at that very moment, being hijaked by C.R.A.C.E.N. agents. The plane went down and only the pilot escaped. The agents perished. Rikki saved lives that day. And she kicked a bad dude right in the crotch. She was also now hunted by C.R.A.C.E.N agents who believed she was a mastermind foe who had both foiled their terrorist act and killed their lead scientist in one fell swoop. And so a new life began. She became a superhero, swearing only to help those being abused by bad men. Sometimes the team might fudge the facts to make the case that a bad man needs kicking in the jewels. Regardless of whether this is true from the outset, she always funds someone along the way worthy of the boot.

Mallard*:
Othniel Crabb is banned from all of the cemeteries, crematoriums, funeral homes, morgues and several hospitals throughout Cedar City. These bans followed a string of attempted incidents of ‘indecent activity’ with the denizens of these locales. Aside from behind a reprehensible deviant, an out-right racist, a scrounger, an unwashed vagrant and an all-round horrid person, he is also a superhero. He possesses no powers or gadgets save what he refers to as ‘the proportional abilities of the common duck, driven by the drake’s innate appetite for justice.’ Neither of which are a thing. He is very particular about claiming expenses and being paid on time.

The Oragmist:
Aiko Yukiko can fold things. Paper. Card. Steel. People. The fabric of space and time. She can fold anything. Foes who get in her way end up a confused and contorted mess of limbs. Walls and doors pose little threat. The problem is, she isn’t particularly interested in the job and would prefer it if people stopped asking her to fold things. She also doesn’t speak English. And nobody on the team is entirely sure what language it is she speaks. It’s Japanese. They’re just ignorant. She is by far the most powered member of the team and nobody is entirely sure what she gets out of joining them on their missions.

* credit goes to Windwalker44

Description

Colonel Cakearms:
Bernard Crimble was but a humble road-sweeper. One day his work led him to a bakery. How was he to know it was a front for a criminal genius who was experimenting with radioactive isotopes to poison baked goods and distribute them across the city? When the experiments went awry and the resultant explosion rocked downtown Cedar, ol’ Berny was caught in the blast. But he walked away changed. Renewed. With the ability to lose and regrow his arms to be made of any kind of cake of his choosing, he swore to prevent other disasters befalling innocents. That was the day he became, Colonel Cakearms. Battling crime and injustice, mainly graffiti, littering and excessive noise during unsociable hours, the pressures of the job became all too real. Soon he fell into a pit of despair which he combatted with debauched nights of drugs, drink, prostitution and forcing children to battle in underground fight rings. It was a dark stain on an otherwise wholesome if not entirely eventful career. Then he met Roseanne. Roseanne changed everything. An aspiring baker, she saw the man behind the cake arms. And so Berny hung up his helmet and went back to cleaning up the streets the good old-fashioned way: with his trusty broom. He swore never to go back to the life of a costumed hero again. Then disaster struck for a second time. He returned home one night to find Roseanne choked to death on her own focaccia and brutally stuff into a fridge. And everywhere there were clues. Clues in the shape…of crumbs. He knew this was a sign. A vast conspiracy. Some shady cabal. It was a message. And it needed a response. He suited up once more and gathered a team, sworn to fight against the evils of the city. Focused, determined and an all-round tragic and pitiful joke, Colonel Cakearms does what he can. Normally causing a lot of accidental destruction and brutal death as he does so. His quest? Uncover the secret underworld that is the Patissiers De La Mort - a name he has given to the very likely none existent forces he believe run the world and who, in his own mind, took Roseanne from him.

Ultra-Thermic Man:
Often known simply as ‘Therm’ to his friends, he is a walking enigma. The little of the past he has told reveals the tragedy of a soldier, chosen by his government to undergo a secret experiment. An experiment to make a soldier capable of wielding the flames of the sun. A soldier who, after these experiments, was cast aside, regarded as a failure due to the fact that he could seemingly only raise the body temperature of his hands to the level of (on a good day) a first-degree burn. Working part-time at a local deli, he uses his holiday days to battle alongside the Super Squad as Ultra-Thermic Man. But he has a secret. A shame he keeps even from his colleagues. See, they do not know his true power. Nor even his true name. When the government gave him powers, it was not just his hands that were blessed. When needed, he can release forth a jet of streaming magma from his body. Specifically, from one location. He can pee flames. It is, for this reason, that he has never revealed his true designation was Ultra-Thermic Infantryman.

D!€k Kicker:
Rikki Collins step-father was a genius. A criminal genius. He invented weapons of destructions for C.R.A.C.E.N. But more than that, he was just a really bad guy. After years of abuse, Rikki had enough. She broke into the secret laboratory beneath their home and looked to destroy his life’s work. What she found was the beginnings of an cutting-edge exo-suit. All that had been built were the boots. Strapping these on, she froze as her step-father entered the lab. He approached and Rikki was as terrified as she had ever been. This time however, she had the boots. And she kicked him right between the legs. Her step-father flew upwards, through the house, and crashed into a low-flying plane that was, at that very moment, being hijaked by C.R.A.C.E.N. agents. The plane went down and only the pilot escaped. The agents perished. Rikki saved lives that day. And she kicked a bad dude right in the crotch. She was also now hunted by C.R.A.C.E.N agents who believed she was a mastermind foe who had both foiled their terrorist act and killed their lead scientist in one fell swoop. And so a new life began. She became a superhero, swearing only to help those being abused by bad men. Sometimes the team might fudge the facts to make the case that a bad man needs kicking in the jewels. Regardless of whether this is true from the outset, she always funds someone along the way worthy of the boot.

Mallard*:
Othniel Crabb is banned from all of the cemeteries, crematoriums, funeral homes, morgues and several hospitals throughout Cedar City. These bans followed a string of attempted incidents of ‘indecent activity’ with the denizens of these locales. Aside from behind a reprehensible deviant, an out-right racist, a scrounger, an unwashed vagrant and an all-round horrid person, he is also a superhero. He possesses no powers or gadgets save what he refers to as ‘the proportional abilities of the common duck, driven by the drake’s innate appetite for justice.’ Neither of which are a thing. He is very particular about claiming expenses and being paid on time.

The Oragmist:
Aiko Yukiko can fold things. Paper. Card. Steel. People. The fabric of space and time. She can fold anything. Foes who get in her way end up a confused and contorted mess of limbs. Walls and doors pose little threat. The problem is, she isn’t particularly interested in the job and would prefer it if people stopped asking her to fold things. She also doesn’t speak English. And nobody on the team is entirely sure what language it is she speaks. It’s Japanese. They’re just ignorant. She is by far the most powered member of the team and nobody is entirely sure what she gets out of joining them on their missions.

* credit goes to Windwalker44