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thecherrybombshell β Blanket Girls
Published: 2006-10-20 02:32:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 2391; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 15
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Description
1.It was peppermint,
snowflake blonde hair spilling into gold
the foxlike amber of my skin
against her phosphorescent white.
She made me seasick with her bird-blue eyes
and stuck like cotton candy to my fingers.
2.
Her name was βPhoenixβ,
and she scared me with her firecracker will.
It made my lungs into waterfalls
my thoughts and fingers butterflies.
My carbon-copy hair carnelian red
a solar flare, an Icarus, an imitation star.
3.
We were virgins,
and volcanoes. Sharing milkbox wishes
on rooftops and climbing trees like horses
instead of tiger-mouthed boys.
We swallowed the citrus-colored summer
like gingerbread and lemonade.
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Comments: 59
You picked out almost all my favorite lines! Smart man.
"Firecracker will" was the part my boyfriend liked best. I think it's a guy thing, haha.
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haha maybe, yeah its an awesome line
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You know that I have to comment on this again. Haha, through that email was just not enough.
I love the vibe that you are getting from the individuals (kandice, you are more than an individual) that are leaving you comments on it. And yay for someone else picking up on the Tori lyrics haha.
Actually, this poem reminds me of something that I wrote a long time ago.. about the first girl i have loved, Manda (remember me telling you this?). It is not as brilliant as this poem, and it is not written like a dance but it is just written the way I felt about her. I will send it to you.
You are so amazing Carol, seriously. You have such a talent. And I know JUST what I'm going to get you for Christmas to make you feel better. You need it back...
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I was wondering who would be the first to get that reference!
You get major brownie points for commenting here, TOO. I can't wait to read your poem. I almost had an urge to say I missed seeing your poetry here, but what we have is better. (I loved what you posted on your space, it made me think)
About gifts and letters - I stopped writing yours, and I need to finish cause I want to send your present. At this rate, It'll be snowing by the time you get your autumn letter!
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It's amazing that you can sum up three such important people in six lines each, and use such beautiful imagery for each. I like this a lot. And the "Blanket Girls" title reminds me of "Bells for Her" by Tori Amos. Lovely work.
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It was inspired by a close girlfriend of mine who wrote the lyrics of that song in a letter to me. (Sharp eye)
Thank you for your thoughts - it was hard to strip them all down to a few lines (especially my sister, for a few different reasons), but I felt like it helped keep them potent.
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This is positively amazing. You incorporate so much feeling and character into a few short, stirring lines that are hammered full of imagery. The sweetness of the first stanza against the fire of the second and the nostalgia of the third. The final stanza speaks to me the most β it reminds me of jungle gyms and ravines and the piece of me that is still running through them...
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You sweet girl, I was just looking at your writing!
I'd been desperate for some feedback on this, I can't thank you enough for this neon comment. I feel like you got just exactly what I was going for, which hits me sweetly in the chest. I'm glad you liked that stanza particularly - from one feral girl to another.
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