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TheDarkbreaker — Fefnir Diz Aster!
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Published: 2012-01-11 22:58:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 1830; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 19
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[link]LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDO CRAASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*crap explodes everywhere from overload of sheer guts n' GAR present*
Finally, the long awaited entrance is here!
The Security agent with the highest number of targets apprehended, legitimate or otherwise!
The loosest cannon of all of the agents within the ranks of Legion Security.
And the only man within Legion to have ever caused more damage than even A.C.E's budget could cover!
The one man walking catastrophe, Fefnir Diz Aster! The Land Crasher!
Bringing down both fire and ice around you, he's a hero who doesn't know the meaning of the phrase 'collateral damage'!
...no, seriously, he actually doesn't. Currently it's speculated that he thinks it's some kind of hair care product. It might explain why he keeps igniting peoples' hair when he gets bored.
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Comments: 80
...it will take me many, many chapters to do so, but at some point I will indeed attempt to do so!
And who said I was just using the SEVEN classes? After all, Avenger's a class too, ya know, as is Saver, but I'm still not certain about that one.
And I already have the PERFECT Avenger in mind, and he fits BRILLIANTLY. Here's a hint: He has white armor and IS A GUN.
And is also one of the most INFAMOUS villains of all time.
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... Megatron Avenger? I'm... not so sure.
ANd I'm surprised you haven't commented on the fight I mentionned
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...what is there to comment on?
IT IS (and I quote) TEXAS RANGER CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS VERSUS SAINT NICHOLAS SANTA BLOODY CLAUS, ON A FLYING SLEIGH THAT RUNS ON DIESEL.
WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY SAY AFTER THAT
WHAT
THAT IS SO OVERWHELMINGLY FUCKING METAL THAT ANY FURTHER COMMENTS WOULD ONLY SERVE TO DETRACT FROM THE HEAD-BUSTING AWESOMENESS OF THAT FIGHT.
The Vladimir Putin and George Bush fight, though...are we talking Bush Senior or Junior? Because I ain't so sure Junior can pull that off...
Hey! What's wrong with the big M as Avenger? It's perfectly legitimate based on the Megatron Origin story!...but eh, I suppose like everything else with the Chronicles, I'll have to write it to get my idea for it across.
Of course, if HE's Avenger, you know who has to be the Saver class (if I do use the Saver idea).
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Junior. The two of them has been going at it for 13 rounds, last I checked. Wait, scratch that, They've been at it since yesterday for 63 rounds.
as for Saver... : (Insert Peter Cullen voice here)
"Freedom is the right of all being"
"I rise. You fall."
"Give me your FACE!"
"I'll take you ALL on!"
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YESSSSSS!
All four of the best lines RIGHT THERE.
And the fifth: One shall stand, and one shall fall.
Me: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I will say this much: Michael Bay made the WORST Megatron ever, but he made what might possibly the most BADASS EPIC Optimus OF ALL TIME. Second only to the ORIGINAL Optimus that is.
And for every single version of Optimus, it's always just one man as the voice actor. If that does not get Peter Cullen IMMEDIATE MEMETIC BADASS STATUS I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL.
Junior? Seriously? Huh. Never took him to be that much of a badass.
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He looks so happy....
...
I'm going over there, opposite direction, away.
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That is what most sane people would do, yes.
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Most.
Sane.
The definitions of those words seem to be skewed in the Division.
I'm suspecting that I'm in the minority. -.-
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...Okay, true. Very true.
To be faair though, we can't really use the phrase 'relatively sane' instead, considering, well...the rest of the Division members reeeeeeally aren't a good measuring stick for comparing your sanity against.
Except maybe Aniral. Maybe.
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Once some time ago maybe, but S.Z has been a bad influence on her (blackmail), so I'm not sure anymore.
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Oh.
Good point.
...I feel strangely guilty about this for some reason.
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And she was the one who thought it was a good idea to drag me into all this.
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...this makes me feel worse, actually. *facepalm*
Um...sorry?
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Eh, I'm getting use to it...
Though that may be a bad thing.
Well, I'll adapt, but I refuse to completely acclimate to the point of complacency. Somebody sane has to defend the 'reality check.' It's a shame it's not written out for more, though both reality and imagination are both blank checks.
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This is true. To be fair, I do still hold onto reality checks fairly often, usually outside of combat, when I have to play the serious guy to the Captain and S.Z's rampant hyper and craziness. Although I tend to get pretty sarcastic when that happens.
On the other hand, I do still tend to think outside the norm when planning stuff.
I have to say, it's rather interesting having a 'normal' like yourself around. Kind of a fresh, unique perspective, in a way. 'Course, you being like the unofficial 'adorable innocent' of the Division with Elisa, coupled with my White Knight Syndrome does mean that I'll probably devote entirely too much attention towards upgrading safety in your areas of the ship.
...unless the Captain stages an intervention and slaps me upside the head. He does that occasionally when my passive white-knighting starts to get out of hand. *facepalm*
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"Adorably innocent"
...translating...
Result:
'Not as likely to blow something up, either intentionally or by accident.'
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Which is kinda sad when you think about it. Ah well. At least we still have one person holding down a full-time reality check unlike me and one or two others who just do it part time.
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*facepalm* even the EYEPATCH has flames on it...
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...did I mention he also wears SUNGLASSES to go with it? Big, wraparound aviators?
Because he's so awesome he can wear shades AND an eyepatch.
Or he's just plain nuts, which is an equally likely option.
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Little of both, really. Although, makes you wonder how he can see anything.
Omega: Hey, think I should warn him about that thing in front of him?
Celtis: Uhm...
Both: *sit and watch a few minutes as Fefnir stumbles around*
Fefnir: *Wham* OUCH!!! Who friggin' put that there, why I oughta-!
Celtis: Nah.
Fefnir: *crash* Goddangit!
Ace: My wall! And my... lamp post?
Omega: Five bucks he hits the postbox next.
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Fefnir: Aw yeah, I'm SO awesome I can wear sunglasses AND an eyepatch! BOOM! WHO'S DA MAN NO-GAAAAAARGH! WHY DOES STUFF KEEP ATTACKING ME?!
Ace: Nooooo my precious ornamental lamppost!
Marino: Ace...? Why do you have a lamp post in your office?
Ace: Um...
*flashback*
Ace: AW COME ON! *stares at where his Lamborghini's been chained to a lamppost* I'm HEAD OF LEGION SECURITY, and yet I STILL can't park next to a fire hydrant for like, FIVE MINUTES without getting a ticket! WHAT THE HELL?!
...
...
On the OTHER hand...really, who's going to miss one measly lamp post? *rummages around in trunk and pulls out pair of fusion cutters with an evil grin*
*end flashback*
Ace: ...and that's why if anyone asks what happened to the traffic lights on the corner of Main and Fifth Street you never saw anything.
Marino:...
Ace:...
Marino:...
Ace:...what?
Marino:...I really, REALLY need to get a raise.
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Omega: *aims a chair at Fefnir*
Celtis: wouldn't it have been easier to just cut the chain?
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Fefnir: *crunch* OW MY FACE!
Omega: *punches the air in silent triumph*
Ace: Hah, well that...that's...uh...
...
...
...
Marino: *raises eyebrow* Well? We're waiting, genius boy.
Ace...Um...the chain was...tougher than the lamp post...?
*crickets chirp*
Ace: *sob*
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((XD oh Ace... For someone so concerned with taking care of Legion, he's not very good at not damaging it himself!))
Omega: *looks at Celtis mischievously, then looks back at fefnir*
Celtis: *fails to notice* You just wanted a trophy, didn't you?
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Ace: *twiddles fingers innocently* Um...maybe...?
*short pause, followed by Omega picking Celtis up in one hand, hefting her over his head, and then launching her at Fefnir*
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Celtis: AaaaaauuuuaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!!!
*WHAM!*
Fefnir: *flat on the ground* OW! What was that!?!
Celtis: *on top of Fefnir* Oh that's it! You're gonna pay for this you old geezer of a bishie! *glares at Omega*
Fefnir: A chick? Wow, that's the first time a girl literally flew into my arms... ouch... *rubs a bruised area* Can you maybe aim a little better next time, though?
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Diz Aster... I get it. LOL! I Get it! A fitting last name for himself. Did he come up with it himself?
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No. The Colonel was always getting exasperated by Fefnir's constant overkilling, so he kept calling him Lieutenant Disaster, and then Ace added an anime-ish touch to it and broke it up into Diz Aster, which just plain sounded awesome. And accurate.
Fef of course, took a shine to it, and he's now 'Fighting' Fefnir Diz Aster.
I like giving my characters full names like that. They just sound so much more cool and dramatic when you have another character call it out, like the Colonel did when he intervened.
...but yeah, that was a horrible pun. To be fair, this might be better than the original idea, which was to just call him Fefnir D. Zaster.
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lol I like that, over all I really like that. Horrible pun? Maybe. But amusing, Hell yes.
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