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Description
No, I didn't misremember the title, and yes, that is a Burmecian . It'll all make sense soon, so don't worry. :'D

It's kind of a long story. See, my "parents" were a couple of crazy, deeply dysfunctional fundamentalists who were allergic to fun and whimsy (think Christian Dursleys, now crank the child abuse to one billion) so I was one of those unlucky kids who was banned from watching the movies/reading the books since because the devil. Little did they know I would browse the TV guide for Sorcerer's Stone and watch it in secret when they weren't present, and I must've had TV access a few months into 2002 (at some point in 2002 my parents unsubscribed to our TV provider since because the devil) because I remember watching Chamber of Secrets, too. A few years later I was by some miracle allowed to own a Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire DVD, even though by then the folks were now 10 times more mad and strict than ever before. That's proof enough for me that magic exists. Prisoner of Azkaban was damaged somehow within a year or so of it's purchase and became unwatchable, but I still have Goblet of Fire which I watched ad nauseum. Beyond that I didn't have anything more to do with the franchise up until a few months ago, unless you count the time I saw Order of The Phoenix in extremely poor quality on YouTube over a decade ago.

So what's all this got to do with Final Fantasy IX? Well, the Harry Potter craze began in earnest in 2001, the same year I first played FFIX. Why a game with mages, eidolons, baphomets and this motherfucker was allowed in the house when Harry Potter was off limits is one of life's great mysteries. Save yourself the headache and chalk it up to mental illness, that's what I do. Anyway, because they both came out around the same time and I wasn't properly allowed to delve into the Potter universe and really get a feel for the atmosphere of that world (and because I think human characters are boring) FFIX's feel ended up leaking over into Potter's feel and creating some sort of nostalgia chimera... does that make any sense?

I even used to imagine Harry as a Burmecian and Hogwarts swimming with moogles and FFIX furry people eons ago when I frequented FanFiction.net and, Brahne's left tit, if I thought the movies were confusing, I wasn't at all prepared for fan content written by the people who'd actually read the books. Bellatrix? Horcruxes? The Veil? To parrot an internet meme: "What are thooose?!"

I had no idea what was going on half the time. Thankfully those days are over now, I've borrowed the complete set of books from a friend and I only just started reading Goblet of Fire yesterday. Still, I can't shake that old imagery in my mind's eye of Mognet moogles delivering mail to the Great Hall or Ron protecting his pet oglop from a serval-looking Crookshanks, like that cat NPC from the inn in Dali. The butterfly effect is funny like that, isn't it? Two abusive fanatics bar their kid from watching a thing and that kid not only grows up watching it anyway but, as a direct result of their actions, pores over a furry offshoot of the thing they don't like and ultimately shows a picture to potentially thousands of people on the internet, ensuring a wider ring of viewers will be exposed to/gravitate toward the unliked thing.

And your kid becomes a staunch atheist with a penchant for oppositional defiance. Expect much more magical, whimsical, Harry heresy from me in the future, courtesy of my folks.

Moral #1: Do not force your beliefs on your kids.
Moral #2: Do not force your beliefs on your kids.
Moral #3: Seriously, how is this legal?

Description
No, I didn't misremember the title, and yes, that is a Burmecian . It'll all make sense soon, so don't worry. :'D

It's kind of a long story. See, my "parents" were a couple of crazy, deeply dysfunctional fundamentalists who were allergic to fun and whimsy (think Christian Dursleys, now crank the child abuse to one billion) so I was one of those unlucky kids who was banned from watching the movies/reading the books since because the devil. Little did they know I would browse the TV guide for Sorcerer's Stone and watch it in secret when they weren't present, and I must've had TV access a few months into 2002 (at some point in 2002 my parents unsubscribed to our TV provider since because the devil) because I remember watching Chamber of Secrets, too. A few years later I was by some miracle allowed to own a Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire DVD, even though by then the folks were now 10 times more mad and strict than ever before. That's proof enough for me that magic exists. Prisoner of Azkaban was damaged somehow within a year or so of it's purchase and became unwatchable, but I still have Goblet of Fire which I watched ad nauseum. Beyond that I didn't have anything more to do with the franchise up until a few months ago, unless you count the time I saw Order of The Phoenix in extremely poor quality on YouTube over a decade ago.

So what's all this got to do with Final Fantasy IX? Well, the Harry Potter craze began in earnest in 2001, the same year I first played FFIX. Why a game with mages, eidolons, baphomets and this motherfucker was allowed in the house when Harry Potter was off limits is one of life's great mysteries. Save yourself the headache and chalk it up to mental illness, that's what I do. Anyway, because they both came out around the same time and I wasn't properly allowed to delve into the Potter universe and really get a feel for the atmosphere of that world (and because I think human characters are boring) FFIX's feel ended up leaking over into Potter's feel and creating some sort of nostalgia chimera... does that make any sense?

I even used to imagine Harry as a Burmecian and Hogwarts swimming with moogles and FFIX furry people eons ago when I frequented FanFiction.net and, Brahne's left tit, if I thought the movies were confusing, I wasn't at all prepared for fan content written by the people who'd actually read the books. Bellatrix? Horcruxes? The Veil? To parrot an internet meme: "What are thooose?!"

I had no idea what was going on half the time. Thankfully those days are over now, I've borrowed the complete set of books from a friend and I only just started reading Goblet of Fire yesterday. Still, I can't shake that old imagery in my mind's eye of Mognet moogles delivering mail to the Great Hall or Ron protecting his pet oglop from a serval-looking Crookshanks, like that cat NPC from the inn in Dali. The butterfly effect is funny like that, isn't it? Two abusive fanatics bar their kid from watching a thing and that kid not only grows up watching it anyway but, as a direct result of their actions, pores over a furry offshoot of the thing they don't like and ultimately shows a picture to potentially thousands of people on the internet, ensuring a wider ring of viewers will be exposed to/gravitate toward the unliked thing.

And your kid becomes a staunch atheist with a penchant for oppositional defiance. Expect much more magical, whimsical, Harry heresy from me in the future, courtesy of my folks.

Moral #1: Do not force your beliefs on your kids.
Moral #2: Do not force your beliefs on your kids.
Moral #3: Seriously, how is this legal?