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Description
Entering the factory, the group found themselves first in the corridor.
Wonka: Our schedule has no room for intros, languid and rubato...
Accelerate right to the verse and play it molto presto and staccato! Please, come in! There are a lot of interesting things at my factory!
Everyone went out into a round hall decorated with a velvet carpet with candy patterns and various candies on the walls, at the next aisle there was a pedestal similar to the reception at the hotel. The guests began to take off their jackets.
Mr. Beauregarde: Mr. Wonka, it's a little warm in here.
Wonka: of course it should be warm here! I have specially set a warm temperature for myself and my workers! We just can't stand the cold!
Charlie: who are they?
Wonka: you will find out soon! Undress, my dears, and hang everything on hangers!
The guests hung their jackets on hangers that looked like hands. As soon as everyone hung up their clothes, hands began to hold the jacket tightly, from which many screamed.
Wonka: don't be scared, friends! The only request: no dillying, no dallying, no shillying, no shallying and definetly no shallysillying! Now let's get the small talk out of the way.
What zigzag roads and fickle fates
Have led you to my chocolate gates?
I’m sure the stories would enthrall
But time is racing by us all
I’d love to rhyme a riddle or two
But there’s so much time, so little to do...
“So much time, so little to do…”?
Please, strike that! Reverse it!
I meant the other way
It doesn’t take a Sigmund Freud
To see I’m charmed and overjoyed
But pardon if I start to fret
We’ve not begun our journey yet
No time to borrow or delay
What’s here tomorrow’s gone today…
“What’s here tomorrow’s gone today…”?
Whoops, strike that! Reverse it!
My tongue has feet of clay
You’ve bid the tasteless world adieu
To chew the goo awaiting you
But scurry for the Wonka clock keeps ticking
Inside those doors the floors are sweet
There’s rugs and carpets you can eat
And best of all the wallpaper needs licking!
This day of punctuality
Is scheduled to the Nth degree
I wish that there was time to share
My thoughts on make-up, clothes and hair...
Madam!
Mrs. Prune: si?
Wonka: your hair, your dress, your shoes are great!
She dressed for 1958...
Mrs. Prune: what!?
Wonka: Please, strike that! Reverse it!
Let’s get on with our day
Pikers!
Mr. Piker: Wonka, Bertrum Piker.
Wonka: blessed to meet you, Berty!
How are your neighbors Einstein, Mendeleev and Linnaeus?
Mr. Piker: actually they all died in different years...
Wonka: I can't even make a joke. And you must be Miranda!
Miranda: I'll tell you right away, Wonka, all your sugar tricks and all this magic are just an illusion that makes fools buy your goods.
Wonka: oh me, oh may, oh my...I'll give you E with minus for doubting me!
Miranda: how dare you!
Wonka: ugh, please, I'm just joking...Gloops!
Mrs. Gloop: Mr. Wonka, guten tag! I'm Audrey Gloop!
Wonka: Wilkommen! And you little Augustus?
Augustus: Hello!
Wonka: Oh my, you so faaaaaatntasticly healthy!
Mrs. Gloop: Ja, he's my tiny little pickle!
Wonka: Sorry, Augustus, but you'll have to give up your sausage.
Augustus: But that's was my lounch!
Wonka: Give away all your supplies: burgers, pizza, French fries, croissants, pretzels and other edibles. Salts!
Mr. Salt: Sdravstvuyte! Oleg Salt from Novosibirsk! I am engaged in selling salted nuts!
Wonka: Your last name hints at it!
Mr. Salt: And this is my wonderful daughter Veruca!
Wonka: like the wart?
Veruca: the wart have two c's! I've got one!
Willy Wonka: one wart?
Veruca: one c!
Wonka: I see...
Veruca: U!! C!!
Wonka: U.C.! O.K. I see. I say, U.R. going to be fun. Hahaha! Beauregardes!
Mr. Beauregarde: Eugene Beauregarde! Please smile for the camera! And I guess you already know my daughter Violet!
Wonka: of course I am! Maybe. And what is it exactly that you do?
Violet: I chew!
Wonka: god blessed you!
Mr. Beauregarde: no! She's chewing! The same gum for the last three years! Gyms, a line of sports uniforms, as well as a new chewing gum "Beauble Gum" were opened in her honor! Isn’t she something?
Wonka: She’s certainly something, Mr. Beauregarde, I’m just not sure what. Forlorns!
Mr. Forlorn: Bonjour, Mr. Wonka. Serge Forlorn.
Wonka: Glad to meet you!
Mr. Forlorn: Don't kidding me, please. This is my doughter Barbara.
Barbara: hi...
Wonka: Hm...there's something wrong with your face...
Barbara: It's makeup...black and blue highlights the depth of my sadness and despondency...
Wonka: I mean your expression! You look even worse than the sad puppies. Teavees!
Mike: Hey doofus, d'you have WiFi?
Wonka: why-what?
Mrs. Teavee: Doris Teavee, and this is Mike Teavee, we should be on the list.
Wonka: Ah, yes, Mike Teavee. The boy who hacked into my computers to get his ticket.
Mrs. Teavee: Now Mr. Wonka, those are just allegations.
Wonka: Prunes!
Mrs. Prune: Bonjorno, Wonka, I'm Luisa Prune! You must already know my Marvin!
Wonka: not really...
Marvin: Don't be shy, Mr. Wonka! I understand your excitement about the arrival of such a charming and beautiful guy like me!
Wonka: I'm just worried if your nose will pinch if you lift it up so high...Rattles!
Mrs. Rattel: hi, mr. Wonka, I'm C-S-Seles-s-stine Rattle, and this-s-s is-s-s my s-s-son S-S-S-ebas-s-stian!
Sebastian: Nic-s-se to meet you!
Wonka: Is it just me, or are you both hissing?
Mrs. Rattel: No, of cours-s-se, this-s-s is-s-s s-s-ssimple human s-s-speech!
Wonka: Are these snakes?
Sebastian: Now, Mr. Wonka, they don't bite!
Wonka: please, get that reptile away! You can't come here with your pets! Buckets!
Charlie: hello, mr. Wonka!
Wonka: Hi! You must be Charlie, the last golden ticket winner! And Joe Bucket, is that you?
Grandpa Joe: at your service, sir!
Wonka: Nice to see you back at my factory! I'm sorry I had to fire you, I hope you'll forgive me someday.
Grandpa Joe: It's okay, you have nothing to apologize for!
Wonka: okay, mr. Bucket, Piker, Salt, Forlorn and Beauregard, mrs. Prune, Teavee, Rattel and Gloop
You’re visitors in my backyard
When shepherding this tiny troupe
And so I look for you to lead
Your future generations
I must insist you hear and heed
My rules and regulations!
I’d love to lounge and lollygag
And give each tongue the chance to wag
But I must get you all to sign
This contract on the dotted line
There’s no reprise, the way time flies
To “dot the ts and cross the is…”
No, strike that! Reverse it!
Please ink without delay
Mr. Salt: May I see the dossier?
Mr. Forlorn: And negotiate her pay
Mrs. Prune: And which rules we need obey?
All the parents: Sir, what does this contract say?!
Willy Wonka: Well…
The undersigned herein to fore
Cite frippery or force majeure
No property be touched or chewed or peddled
All: what did he say?
Wonka: De facto habeas corpus laws
For you a new grandfather’s clause
Sign there, there, there, there, there
Thank god that’s settled!
Mrs. Gloop: what does he expect us to do?
Mrs. Teavee: I'm confused...
Mr. Piker: This tempo is preposterous!
All children: just sign!
Wonka: So now the time has come at last
To put the present in the past
It’s time to take the golden tour
And taste the tempting treats du jour
The day is young, the sun is high
And so it’s time to say “goodbye”
All: goodbye?!?
Wonka: No, strike that! Reverse it!
The next time I’ll rehearse it
Get ready, set and on your marks, let’s go!
Augustus: you're stupid!
Sebastian: you s-s-stink!
Miranda: it's rediculous!
Mike: you think?
Marvin: I'm star!
Barbara: be drown...
Violet: I'm winning!
Veruca: dream on!
Charlie: let's go!
All: On with the show!
Without understanding how, everyone found themselves in another hall.
Miranda: Wonka, I hope you're not going to deceive us!
Veruca: where all the candies?
Sebastian: we want s-s-something to lick!
Violet: and chew!
Augustus: and eat! I'm already hungry!
Mrs. Teavee: We expected for some educational tour!
Mr. Forlorn: oui, with tastings.
Wonka: Please, children, I will take my time! You will see everything with your own eyes and try it with your own tongues, by all means! Please follow me!
The whole group was walking along the corridor, but the further they went, then smaller it became in the corridor.
Mr. Beauregarde: Wonka, what's happening!?
Barbara: It looks like the corridor is narrowing!
Mike: So it is!
Mrs. Gloop: I can't fit in anymore!
Mrs. Prune: We're going to be shrinked!
Wonka: And now, friends, I will ask you to come through this door!
Wonka pointed to a tiny door that could probably fit only a finger.
Mr. Salt: Are you kidding us, Wonka? We can't get through!
Augustus: And I'm even more so!
Wonka: really? And in my opinion we can pass!
Mr. Piker: Don't make fools of us, Wonka!
Marvin: Can't you see for yourself how small this door is?
Mrs. Rattel: I'm th-h-hin enough, but I s-s-still won't leak!
Wonka took out a bunch of keys and chose the smallest key that was just right for such a door. Inserting the key, Wonka opened the door and it turned out that the reduced wall was a door through which everyone went to an unprecedented beauty place. It was a whole huge forest with hills and caramel trees, with a wide river of chocolate and plants on which various sweets were growing. Pipes of various lengths and latitudes hung over the river. It would seem that this place had no walls, it was so huge. Everyone was shocked by the beauty and size of this forest. Augustus was clearly amazed, and his mouth watered immediately.
Wonka: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the candy forest!
Wonka led the group through the bright green grass, showing all the charms of the forest.
Charlie: How great it is here!
Wonka: Thanks! I tried very hard to make this place so big and beautiful! To tell the truth, I tried very hard to make all my rooms at the factory incredibly large and beautiful! But the beauty of this room is that everything that grows here is made entirely of sweets! Try it! Marmalade sour strawberries grow out of the ground, you will find tiramisu mushrooms under the trees, even nepenthes are filled with soda! Come on! Eat, don't be shy!
I want to note that Augustus rushed to eat immediately after the words "everything that grows here is made entirely of sweets", and the other children scattered after listening to Mr. Wonka. Mike started trampling on big caramel pumpkins, and smashing them, soiled his feet in pumpkin jelly. Instead of seeds, there were pumpkin Halloween candies, which Mike started eating. Miranda didn't eat any sweets. She just walked through the forest, disapprovingly examining every detail and wincing. Augustus was eating like crazy! His mouth and hands were all stained with sweets, and he ate everything in a row, everything that came across in his hands was eaten in seconds! Sebastian was hovering by a tree with caramel apples growing on it. He ate apple after apple, leaving behind only stubs. Barbara was lying in the bushes and sadly licking ice pop. Violet was at the huge corn cobs growing out of the ground. Clicking on one of the grains, it first shook, and then jumped out, turning into popcorn, and hundreds more things burst behind it, Violet stuck her gum behind her ear and began to eat. Marvin was eating vines made from licorice. Veruca plucked a lollipop from a tree and began to lick it. And Charlie just sat and looked at the marmalade flower. To tell the truth, Charlie did not know that Mr. Wonka had allowed him to eat his sweets. Charlie didn't hear it. Grandpa Joe came up to him, who was eating marshmallows and took them for Charlie.
Grandpa Joe: So how do you like it here?
Charlie: It's so beautiful and pleasant here! Wait a minute...Grandpa Joe, you have marshmallows?
Grandpa Joe: Yeah! Do you want it?
Charlie: what are you doing, Grandpa Joe! What if Mr. Wonka sees?
Grandpa Joe: But he allowed it...
At this time, Willy Wonka and the rest of the parents.
Mr. Piker: Um, look here, Wonka, what the point in all this stuff?
Wonka: the point?
Mr. Piker: well, what's it for?
Wonka: It’s my creation!
Mr. Salt: hah, how does it make money?
Willy Wonka: It doesn't!
Mrs. Prune: is there design going on here?
Wonka: not exactly...
Mr. Forlorn: are you digging into your own emotions and thoughts there?
Wonka: what? No...
Mrs. Gloop: It’s a little cupboard of treats for a midnight feast?
Wonka: No, madam.
Mrs. Rattel: do you breed different animals-s-s here?
Wonka: no, i'm not.
Mr. Beauregarde: You use it for photo shoots?
Wonka: Certainly not...
Mrs. Teavee: It’s therapy?
Wonka: no!
Mr. Piker: Well if it isn’t for anything of this, then why on earth does it need to exist at all?
Wonka: You really don’t see, do you?
A painter needs no reason
To make a thing of art
Yes, there’s no switch to stop and start the flow
A gardener has his season
His green thumb and his heart
Don’t ask the man “why does your garden grow?”
A poet sits for hours
With words upon his tongue
He cannot help but rhyme his doom and gloom
So if you taste my flowers
You’ll see that I’m among
That certain group, that lucky troupe for whom
It’s simply second nature
To wish away the gray
To take a licorice stick and make a tree
Yes, there’s no rhyme or reason
I was simply made this way
What’s strange to you is natural to me
It’s simply second nature
To paint outside the lines
It merely is the way that I was born
You see I’ve been selected
To create the unexpected
And make each day feel just like Christmas morn
Picasso took a torso
And turned it on it’s head
It isn’t right or wrong, it’s what he felt
And Dali, even more so
Would positively dread
Explaining why his hands of time should melt
And me, I take sweet honey
And make a tasteful rose
What can I say? It’s simply what I do
Some men make pots of money
They’re happy, I suppose, but
Be grateful that for just a lucky few
It’s simply second nature
To see what isn’t there
The mind is such a wonder to explore
And though some nights I dread
All the voices in my head
I’d rather be this way then be a bore
It’s simply second nature
To dream of something new
Then wake on fire and try to sculpt each day
It’s no blessing, it’s a curse!
Wait...no...strike that and reverse
I wouldn’t have it any other way...
Their conversation was interrupted by Veruca's scream.
Veruca: Daddy! Daddy! Look! Little men!
Adults came to her call, as well as children, except for Marvin and Augustus. Veruca was pointing at a small dwarf with white skin and lush rainbow hair, his ears were pointed and he worked with his tongue out. He was dressed in a red uniform and work glasses.
Mrs. Prune: So small...
Mrs. Rattle: Look, there are two of them!
Mike: More than two...
Charlie: who are they?
Wonka: oh, thats my loyal and nice workers, the oompa-loompas!
Veruca: daddy, I want those oompa-loompas!
Mr. Salt: Okay, sweetheart, I'll buy you some oompa-loompas after the tour.
Veruca: daddy, I want it right NOW!
Mr. Salt: ladno, Verushka. Wonka, where did you get them?
Wonka: I don't get them from anywhere, mr. Salt! The Oompa-Loompas are a hardworking and incredibly mischievous tribe!
Mr. Salt: I mean where do they come from?
Wonka: from Loompa-land, of course!
Mrs. Teavee: This is a fictional place...
Mr. Piker: agreed...
Wonka: but why are you think so?
Mrs. Teavee: Mr. Wonka, I teach geography and I want to tell you...
Wonka: ...that you know how terrible this place is! Oh, it's such a crazy story! One day I was traveling around Loompa-land to find new ingredients for my sweets: oodla-doodlas, coconut shells, purple bananas and gazelles milk! But I realized how dangerous it was to be there when I found out about the presence of snozzwangers, hornswogglers, whangdoodles. These horrible creatures were trying to kill me. But later I fell into the trap of this tiny tribe and they took me away just to have fun with them. They told me that they adore cocoa beans and it was happiness for them to have at least three or four cocoa beans a year! And then I offered them to settle in my factory and work for one bar of chocolate a week. You should have seen how happy they were when they heard about my offer!
The story was interrupted by the scream of Marvin, who ran to his mother.
Marvin: Mother, he bit me! That fat ugly pig bit me!
He pointed to August, who, instead of listening to Wonka's story, was slurping chocolate from the river, scooping it up with his thick hands.
Wonka: Augustus, wait! Noone can touch my chocolate!
Mrs. Gloop: oh, mr. Wonka, there's nothing going to be bad!
Wonka: Augustus, please!
But it was useless to beg Augustus to stop, he still continued to drink chocolate. But in an instant he stuck his head out too far and he plopped right into the chocolate, starting to flounder and call for help. Mrs. Gloop screamed at the picture.
Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, nein!! Save him, he'll drown!! He'll drown!!
Augustus: help!! Help!!
Marvin: Serves him right!
Mrs. Gloop: Shut your mouth, you little bastard!
Mrs. Prune: Now, Mrs. Gloop! Don't yell at my son just because he gave your piglet a good life lesson!
Augustus continued to struggle, trying not to drown. But at this time, one of the pipes began to descend to the bottom until it dipped into chocolate. In an instant, the pipe began to suck in the chocolate, creating a whirlpool into which Augustus was sucked. Augustus was spinning in a whirlpool, screaming, and eventually he got stuck in a pipe. The pressure got the upper hand and he flew up the pipe, screaming.
Violet: He got stuck!
Mrs. Gloop: save him!! Please!!
Mrs. Teavee: Mike, stop filming other's people tragedy...
Mrs. Rattel: It's-s-s amazing how big this-s-s pipe is-s-s...
Barbara: He sealed it up...
Wonka: oh my...
For the guests, this sight was funny (except Buckets and Mrs. Gloop), but it made oompa-loompas laugh until suddenly the sound of a sitar was heard, and gradually the sounds of drums. The oompa-loompas began to squat and dance.
Charlie: look! The oompa-loompas!
Miranda: what are they doing?
Mike: back of, little freaks!
Wonka: Oh, it looks like they're going to sing!
The oompa-loompas began to sing and dance like an ancient tribe, making characteristic sounds.
Oompa-loompas: Hey Augustus Gloop!
Hey Augustus Gloop!
Hey Augustus Gloop!
Hey Augustus Gloop!
You were always so stinky greedy
Big fat nincompoop!
Always eating food, meat and candies
gulping snacks on loop!
Now you're finaly stuck in this big pipe
Made all of us laugh on!
Oh, big watermelon!
Spend some time in this big long pipe
This big pipe can take all sizes
Now you have shown us what is your type
"you are what you eat" is what is rises
Piggy Gloop...
Eating on loop...
Piggy soup...
Why, good idea!
Don't you worry, he'll gonna be good
He's just getting soft!
This will help to make a fudge from him,
Big glazed chocolate fudge!
Just think, isn't it nice to eat some
Lush glazed and so soft
Big and delicios fudge?
Well, let's wait a few of minutes
In the meantime, we'll bring good and large
Strawberries, fizzes and peanuts
To improve this big soft fudge!
On the last note, the pipe could not stand it anymore and Augustus, with a piggy squeal, rushed up until he disappeared from sight altogether. And the oompa-loompas were quietly finishing the song, returning to their work.
Mrs. Gloop: Mr. Wonka, where does this pipe lead!?
Wonka: to fudge room, of corse!
Mrs. Gloop: So these creatures were right!? Is it possible that they will make fudge out of my son and will sell it all over the world?!?
Wonka: Of course not, Mrs. Gloop, that will never happen! Otherwise, my fudge will have a disgusting piggy taste...
Mrs. Gloop: How dare you say that!?
Wonka: That's what I'm talking about! So you'd better hurry up.
Wonka called one of the oompa-loompas and he approached the boss.
Wonka: Listen, you need to take Mrs. Gloop to the fudge room and find her son there. Get him out of the mixing pot before he'll turns into pig fudge.
Mrs. Gloop: WONKA!!!!!!
Wonka: I'm jocking, mrs. Gloop! Now goodbye, auf wiedersehen, досвидания, au revoir, arrivederci, and remember nerve cells do not regenerate...
Oompa-loompa led Mrs. Gloop away by pulling her dress while she cried and sniffed into the raft.
Wonka:...and fat cells do not stop...
The others laughed at the joke.
Wonka: Well, let's continue on our way!
Charlie: Mr. Wonka, so the oompa-loompas were right and Augustus is going to be a fudge?
Wonka: No, of course not! The whole song was just a joke! And then, why doesn't anyone care about my chocolate? It must be disinfected! But no, there's only Augustus, Augustus, Augustus...
Mr. Beauregarde: Wonka, how did they even know about his character, about what was going to happen?
Sebastian: Yes-s-s, they didn't even know who he was-s-s!
Wonka: They didn't know!
Veruca: And how did they compose a song so easily?
Mr. Piker: It looks like everything has been rehearsed...
Wonka: No, they come up with songs on the go! This is improvisation!
Mike: I doubt it very much...
Mr. Forlorn: Mr. Wonka, it's impossible to improvise so well in poetry...
Willy Wonka: How good it is that this is not poetry, but music! Let's move on.
Charlie and Grandpa Joe walked behind everyone.
Charlie: The oompa-loompas were joking, right, Grandpa?
Grandpa Joe: Of course Charlie, he'll be fine! At least that's what I think...

Description
Entering the factory, the group found themselves first in the corridor.
Wonka: Our schedule has no room for intros, languid and rubato...
Accelerate right to the verse and play it molto presto and staccato! Please, come in! There are a lot of interesting things at my factory!
Everyone went out into a round hall decorated with a velvet carpet with candy patterns and various candies on the walls, at the next aisle there was a pedestal similar to the reception at the hotel. The guests began to take off their jackets.
Mr. Beauregarde: Mr. Wonka, it's a little warm in here.
Wonka: of course it should be warm here! I have specially set a warm temperature for myself and my workers! We just can't stand the cold!
Charlie: who are they?
Wonka: you will find out soon! Undress, my dears, and hang everything on hangers!
The guests hung their jackets on hangers that looked like hands. As soon as everyone hung up their clothes, hands began to hold the jacket tightly, from which many screamed.
Wonka: don't be scared, friends! The only request: no dillying, no dallying, no shillying, no shallying and definetly no shallysillying! Now let's get the small talk out of the way.
What zigzag roads and fickle fates
Have led you to my chocolate gates?
I’m sure the stories would enthrall
But time is racing by us all
I’d love to rhyme a riddle or two
But there’s so much time, so little to do...
“So much time, so little to do…”?
Please, strike that! Reverse it!
I meant the other way
It doesn’t take a Sigmund Freud
To see I’m charmed and overjoyed
But pardon if I start to fret
We’ve not begun our journey yet
No time to borrow or delay
What’s here tomorrow’s gone today…
“What’s here tomorrow’s gone today…”?
Whoops, strike that! Reverse it!
My tongue has feet of clay
You’ve bid the tasteless world adieu
To chew the goo awaiting you
But scurry for the Wonka clock keeps ticking
Inside those doors the floors are sweet
There’s rugs and carpets you can eat
And best of all the wallpaper needs licking!
This day of punctuality
Is scheduled to the Nth degree
I wish that there was time to share
My thoughts on make-up, clothes and hair...
Madam!
Mrs. Prune: si?
Wonka: your hair, your dress, your shoes are great!
She dressed for 1958...
Mrs. Prune: what!?
Wonka: Please, strike that! Reverse it!
Let’s get on with our day
Pikers!
Mr. Piker: Wonka, Bertrum Piker.
Wonka: blessed to meet you, Berty!
How are your neighbors Einstein, Mendeleev and Linnaeus?
Mr. Piker: actually they all died in different years...
Wonka: I can't even make a joke. And you must be Miranda!
Miranda: I'll tell you right away, Wonka, all your sugar tricks and all this magic are just an illusion that makes fools buy your goods.
Wonka: oh me, oh may, oh my...I'll give you E with minus for doubting me!
Miranda: how dare you!
Wonka: ugh, please, I'm just joking...Gloops!
Mrs. Gloop: Mr. Wonka, guten tag! I'm Audrey Gloop!
Wonka: Wilkommen! And you little Augustus?
Augustus: Hello!
Wonka: Oh my, you so faaaaaatntasticly healthy!
Mrs. Gloop: Ja, he's my tiny little pickle!
Wonka: Sorry, Augustus, but you'll have to give up your sausage.
Augustus: But that's was my lounch!
Wonka: Give away all your supplies: burgers, pizza, French fries, croissants, pretzels and other edibles. Salts!
Mr. Salt: Sdravstvuyte! Oleg Salt from Novosibirsk! I am engaged in selling salted nuts!
Wonka: Your last name hints at it!
Mr. Salt: And this is my wonderful daughter Veruca!
Wonka: like the wart?
Veruca: the wart have two c's! I've got one!
Willy Wonka: one wart?
Veruca: one c!
Wonka: I see...
Veruca: U!! C!!
Wonka: U.C.! O.K. I see. I say, U.R. going to be fun. Hahaha! Beauregardes!
Mr. Beauregarde: Eugene Beauregarde! Please smile for the camera! And I guess you already know my daughter Violet!
Wonka: of course I am! Maybe. And what is it exactly that you do?
Violet: I chew!
Wonka: god blessed you!
Mr. Beauregarde: no! She's chewing! The same gum for the last three years! Gyms, a line of sports uniforms, as well as a new chewing gum "Beauble Gum" were opened in her honor! Isn’t she something?
Wonka: She’s certainly something, Mr. Beauregarde, I’m just not sure what. Forlorns!
Mr. Forlorn: Bonjour, Mr. Wonka. Serge Forlorn.
Wonka: Glad to meet you!
Mr. Forlorn: Don't kidding me, please. This is my doughter Barbara.
Barbara: hi...
Wonka: Hm...there's something wrong with your face...
Barbara: It's makeup...black and blue highlights the depth of my sadness and despondency...
Wonka: I mean your expression! You look even worse than the sad puppies. Teavees!
Mike: Hey doofus, d'you have WiFi?
Wonka: why-what?
Mrs. Teavee: Doris Teavee, and this is Mike Teavee, we should be on the list.
Wonka: Ah, yes, Mike Teavee. The boy who hacked into my computers to get his ticket.
Mrs. Teavee: Now Mr. Wonka, those are just allegations.
Wonka: Prunes!
Mrs. Prune: Bonjorno, Wonka, I'm Luisa Prune! You must already know my Marvin!
Wonka: not really...
Marvin: Don't be shy, Mr. Wonka! I understand your excitement about the arrival of such a charming and beautiful guy like me!
Wonka: I'm just worried if your nose will pinch if you lift it up so high...Rattles!
Mrs. Rattel: hi, mr. Wonka, I'm C-S-Seles-s-stine Rattle, and this-s-s is-s-s my s-s-son S-S-S-ebas-s-stian!
Sebastian: Nic-s-se to meet you!
Wonka: Is it just me, or are you both hissing?
Mrs. Rattel: No, of cours-s-se, this-s-s is-s-s s-s-ssimple human s-s-speech!
Wonka: Are these snakes?
Sebastian: Now, Mr. Wonka, they don't bite!
Wonka: please, get that reptile away! You can't come here with your pets! Buckets!
Charlie: hello, mr. Wonka!
Wonka: Hi! You must be Charlie, the last golden ticket winner! And Joe Bucket, is that you?
Grandpa Joe: at your service, sir!
Wonka: Nice to see you back at my factory! I'm sorry I had to fire you, I hope you'll forgive me someday.
Grandpa Joe: It's okay, you have nothing to apologize for!
Wonka: okay, mr. Bucket, Piker, Salt, Forlorn and Beauregard, mrs. Prune, Teavee, Rattel and Gloop
You’re visitors in my backyard
When shepherding this tiny troupe
And so I look for you to lead
Your future generations
I must insist you hear and heed
My rules and regulations!
I’d love to lounge and lollygag
And give each tongue the chance to wag
But I must get you all to sign
This contract on the dotted line
There’s no reprise, the way time flies
To “dot the ts and cross the is…”
No, strike that! Reverse it!
Please ink without delay
Mr. Salt: May I see the dossier?
Mr. Forlorn: And negotiate her pay
Mrs. Prune: And which rules we need obey?
All the parents: Sir, what does this contract say?!
Willy Wonka: Well…
The undersigned herein to fore
Cite frippery or force majeure
No property be touched or chewed or peddled
All: what did he say?
Wonka: De facto habeas corpus laws
For you a new grandfather’s clause
Sign there, there, there, there, there
Thank god that’s settled!
Mrs. Gloop: what does he expect us to do?
Mrs. Teavee: I'm confused...
Mr. Piker: This tempo is preposterous!
All children: just sign!
Wonka: So now the time has come at last
To put the present in the past
It’s time to take the golden tour
And taste the tempting treats du jour
The day is young, the sun is high
And so it’s time to say “goodbye”
All: goodbye?!?
Wonka: No, strike that! Reverse it!
The next time I’ll rehearse it
Get ready, set and on your marks, let’s go!
Augustus: you're stupid!
Sebastian: you s-s-stink!
Miranda: it's rediculous!
Mike: you think?
Marvin: I'm star!
Barbara: be drown...
Violet: I'm winning!
Veruca: dream on!
Charlie: let's go!
All: On with the show!
Without understanding how, everyone found themselves in another hall.
Miranda: Wonka, I hope you're not going to deceive us!
Veruca: where all the candies?
Sebastian: we want s-s-something to lick!
Violet: and chew!
Augustus: and eat! I'm already hungry!
Mrs. Teavee: We expected for some educational tour!
Mr. Forlorn: oui, with tastings.
Wonka: Please, children, I will take my time! You will see everything with your own eyes and try it with your own tongues, by all means! Please follow me!
The whole group was walking along the corridor, but the further they went, then smaller it became in the corridor.
Mr. Beauregarde: Wonka, what's happening!?
Barbara: It looks like the corridor is narrowing!
Mike: So it is!
Mrs. Gloop: I can't fit in anymore!
Mrs. Prune: We're going to be shrinked!
Wonka: And now, friends, I will ask you to come through this door!
Wonka pointed to a tiny door that could probably fit only a finger.
Mr. Salt: Are you kidding us, Wonka? We can't get through!
Augustus: And I'm even more so!
Wonka: really? And in my opinion we can pass!
Mr. Piker: Don't make fools of us, Wonka!
Marvin: Can't you see for yourself how small this door is?
Mrs. Rattel: I'm th-h-hin enough, but I s-s-still won't leak!
Wonka took out a bunch of keys and chose the smallest key that was just right for such a door. Inserting the key, Wonka opened the door and it turned out that the reduced wall was a door through which everyone went to an unprecedented beauty place. It was a whole huge forest with hills and caramel trees, with a wide river of chocolate and plants on which various sweets were growing. Pipes of various lengths and latitudes hung over the river. It would seem that this place had no walls, it was so huge. Everyone was shocked by the beauty and size of this forest. Augustus was clearly amazed, and his mouth watered immediately.
Wonka: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the candy forest!
Wonka led the group through the bright green grass, showing all the charms of the forest.
Charlie: How great it is here!
Wonka: Thanks! I tried very hard to make this place so big and beautiful! To tell the truth, I tried very hard to make all my rooms at the factory incredibly large and beautiful! But the beauty of this room is that everything that grows here is made entirely of sweets! Try it! Marmalade sour strawberries grow out of the ground, you will find tiramisu mushrooms under the trees, even nepenthes are filled with soda! Come on! Eat, don't be shy!
I want to note that Augustus rushed to eat immediately after the words "everything that grows here is made entirely of sweets", and the other children scattered after listening to Mr. Wonka. Mike started trampling on big caramel pumpkins, and smashing them, soiled his feet in pumpkin jelly. Instead of seeds, there were pumpkin Halloween candies, which Mike started eating. Miranda didn't eat any sweets. She just walked through the forest, disapprovingly examining every detail and wincing. Augustus was eating like crazy! His mouth and hands were all stained with sweets, and he ate everything in a row, everything that came across in his hands was eaten in seconds! Sebastian was hovering by a tree with caramel apples growing on it. He ate apple after apple, leaving behind only stubs. Barbara was lying in the bushes and sadly licking ice pop. Violet was at the huge corn cobs growing out of the ground. Clicking on one of the grains, it first shook, and then jumped out, turning into popcorn, and hundreds more things burst behind it, Violet stuck her gum behind her ear and began to eat. Marvin was eating vines made from licorice. Veruca plucked a lollipop from a tree and began to lick it. And Charlie just sat and looked at the marmalade flower. To tell the truth, Charlie did not know that Mr. Wonka had allowed him to eat his sweets. Charlie didn't hear it. Grandpa Joe came up to him, who was eating marshmallows and took them for Charlie.
Grandpa Joe: So how do you like it here?
Charlie: It's so beautiful and pleasant here! Wait a minute...Grandpa Joe, you have marshmallows?
Grandpa Joe: Yeah! Do you want it?
Charlie: what are you doing, Grandpa Joe! What if Mr. Wonka sees?
Grandpa Joe: But he allowed it...
At this time, Willy Wonka and the rest of the parents.
Mr. Piker: Um, look here, Wonka, what the point in all this stuff?
Wonka: the point?
Mr. Piker: well, what's it for?
Wonka: It’s my creation!
Mr. Salt: hah, how does it make money?
Willy Wonka: It doesn't!
Mrs. Prune: is there design going on here?
Wonka: not exactly...
Mr. Forlorn: are you digging into your own emotions and thoughts there?
Wonka: what? No...
Mrs. Gloop: It’s a little cupboard of treats for a midnight feast?
Wonka: No, madam.
Mrs. Rattel: do you breed different animals-s-s here?
Wonka: no, i'm not.
Mr. Beauregarde: You use it for photo shoots?
Wonka: Certainly not...
Mrs. Teavee: It’s therapy?
Wonka: no!
Mr. Piker: Well if it isn’t for anything of this, then why on earth does it need to exist at all?
Wonka: You really don’t see, do you?
A painter needs no reason
To make a thing of art
Yes, there’s no switch to stop and start the flow
A gardener has his season
His green thumb and his heart
Don’t ask the man “why does your garden grow?”
A poet sits for hours
With words upon his tongue
He cannot help but rhyme his doom and gloom
So if you taste my flowers
You’ll see that I’m among
That certain group, that lucky troupe for whom
It’s simply second nature
To wish away the gray
To take a licorice stick and make a tree
Yes, there’s no rhyme or reason
I was simply made this way
What’s strange to you is natural to me
It’s simply second nature
To paint outside the lines
It merely is the way that I was born
You see I’ve been selected
To create the unexpected
And make each day feel just like Christmas morn
Picasso took a torso
And turned it on it’s head
It isn’t right or wrong, it’s what he felt
And Dali, even more so
Would positively dread
Explaining why his hands of time should melt
And me, I take sweet honey
And make a tasteful rose
What can I say? It’s simply what I do
Some men make pots of money
They’re happy, I suppose, but
Be grateful that for just a lucky few
It’s simply second nature
To see what isn’t there
The mind is such a wonder to explore
And though some nights I dread
All the voices in my head
I’d rather be this way then be a bore
It’s simply second nature
To dream of something new
Then wake on fire and try to sculpt each day
It’s no blessing, it’s a curse!
Wait...no...strike that and reverse
I wouldn’t have it any other way...
Their conversation was interrupted by Veruca's scream.
Veruca: Daddy! Daddy! Look! Little men!
Adults came to her call, as well as children, except for Marvin and Augustus. Veruca was pointing at a small dwarf with white skin and lush rainbow hair, his ears were pointed and he worked with his tongue out. He was dressed in a red uniform and work glasses.
Mrs. Prune: So small...
Mrs. Rattle: Look, there are two of them!
Mike: More than two...
Charlie: who are they?
Wonka: oh, thats my loyal and nice workers, the oompa-loompas!
Veruca: daddy, I want those oompa-loompas!
Mr. Salt: Okay, sweetheart, I'll buy you some oompa-loompas after the tour.
Veruca: daddy, I want it right NOW!
Mr. Salt: ladno, Verushka. Wonka, where did you get them?
Wonka: I don't get them from anywhere, mr. Salt! The Oompa-Loompas are a hardworking and incredibly mischievous tribe!
Mr. Salt: I mean where do they come from?
Wonka: from Loompa-land, of course!
Mrs. Teavee: This is a fictional place...
Mr. Piker: agreed...
Wonka: but why are you think so?
Mrs. Teavee: Mr. Wonka, I teach geography and I want to tell you...
Wonka: ...that you know how terrible this place is! Oh, it's such a crazy story! One day I was traveling around Loompa-land to find new ingredients for my sweets: oodla-doodlas, coconut shells, purple bananas and gazelles milk! But I realized how dangerous it was to be there when I found out about the presence of snozzwangers, hornswogglers, whangdoodles. These horrible creatures were trying to kill me. But later I fell into the trap of this tiny tribe and they took me away just to have fun with them. They told me that they adore cocoa beans and it was happiness for them to have at least three or four cocoa beans a year! And then I offered them to settle in my factory and work for one bar of chocolate a week. You should have seen how happy they were when they heard about my offer!
The story was interrupted by the scream of Marvin, who ran to his mother.
Marvin: Mother, he bit me! That fat ugly pig bit me!
He pointed to August, who, instead of listening to Wonka's story, was slurping chocolate from the river, scooping it up with his thick hands.
Wonka: Augustus, wait! Noone can touch my chocolate!
Mrs. Gloop: oh, mr. Wonka, there's nothing going to be bad!
Wonka: Augustus, please!
But it was useless to beg Augustus to stop, he still continued to drink chocolate. But in an instant he stuck his head out too far and he plopped right into the chocolate, starting to flounder and call for help. Mrs. Gloop screamed at the picture.
Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, nein!! Save him, he'll drown!! He'll drown!!
Augustus: help!! Help!!
Marvin: Serves him right!
Mrs. Gloop: Shut your mouth, you little bastard!
Mrs. Prune: Now, Mrs. Gloop! Don't yell at my son just because he gave your piglet a good life lesson!
Augustus continued to struggle, trying not to drown. But at this time, one of the pipes began to descend to the bottom until it dipped into chocolate. In an instant, the pipe began to suck in the chocolate, creating a whirlpool into which Augustus was sucked. Augustus was spinning in a whirlpool, screaming, and eventually he got stuck in a pipe. The pressure got the upper hand and he flew up the pipe, screaming.
Violet: He got stuck!
Mrs. Gloop: save him!! Please!!
Mrs. Teavee: Mike, stop filming other's people tragedy...
Mrs. Rattel: It's-s-s amazing how big this-s-s pipe is-s-s...
Barbara: He sealed it up...
Wonka: oh my...
For the guests, this sight was funny (except Buckets and Mrs. Gloop), but it made oompa-loompas laugh until suddenly the sound of a sitar was heard, and gradually the sounds of drums. The oompa-loompas began to squat and dance.
Charlie: look! The oompa-loompas!
Miranda: what are they doing?
Mike: back of, little freaks!
Wonka: Oh, it looks like they're going to sing!
The oompa-loompas began to sing and dance like an ancient tribe, making characteristic sounds.
Oompa-loompas: Hey Augustus Gloop!
Hey Augustus Gloop!
Hey Augustus Gloop!
Hey Augustus Gloop!
You were always so stinky greedy
Big fat nincompoop!
Always eating food, meat and candies
gulping snacks on loop!
Now you're finaly stuck in this big pipe
Made all of us laugh on!
Oh, big watermelon!
Spend some time in this big long pipe
This big pipe can take all sizes
Now you have shown us what is your type
"you are what you eat" is what is rises
Piggy Gloop...
Eating on loop...
Piggy soup...
Why, good idea!
Don't you worry, he'll gonna be good
He's just getting soft!
This will help to make a fudge from him,
Big glazed chocolate fudge!
Just think, isn't it nice to eat some
Lush glazed and so soft
Big and delicios fudge?
Well, let's wait a few of minutes
In the meantime, we'll bring good and large
Strawberries, fizzes and peanuts
To improve this big soft fudge!
On the last note, the pipe could not stand it anymore and Augustus, with a piggy squeal, rushed up until he disappeared from sight altogether. And the oompa-loompas were quietly finishing the song, returning to their work.
Mrs. Gloop: Mr. Wonka, where does this pipe lead!?
Wonka: to fudge room, of corse!
Mrs. Gloop: So these creatures were right!? Is it possible that they will make fudge out of my son and will sell it all over the world?!?
Wonka: Of course not, Mrs. Gloop, that will never happen! Otherwise, my fudge will have a disgusting piggy taste...
Mrs. Gloop: How dare you say that!?
Wonka: That's what I'm talking about! So you'd better hurry up.
Wonka called one of the oompa-loompas and he approached the boss.
Wonka: Listen, you need to take Mrs. Gloop to the fudge room and find her son there. Get him out of the mixing pot before he'll turns into pig fudge.
Mrs. Gloop: WONKA!!!!!!
Wonka: I'm jocking, mrs. Gloop! Now goodbye, auf wiedersehen, досвидания, au revoir, arrivederci, and remember nerve cells do not regenerate...
Oompa-loompa led Mrs. Gloop away by pulling her dress while she cried and sniffed into the raft.
Wonka:...and fat cells do not stop...
The others laughed at the joke.
Wonka: Well, let's continue on our way!
Charlie: Mr. Wonka, so the oompa-loompas were right and Augustus is going to be a fudge?
Wonka: No, of course not! The whole song was just a joke! And then, why doesn't anyone care about my chocolate? It must be disinfected! But no, there's only Augustus, Augustus, Augustus...
Mr. Beauregarde: Wonka, how did they even know about his character, about what was going to happen?
Sebastian: Yes-s-s, they didn't even know who he was-s-s!
Wonka: They didn't know!
Veruca: And how did they compose a song so easily?
Mr. Piker: It looks like everything has been rehearsed...
Wonka: No, they come up with songs on the go! This is improvisation!
Mike: I doubt it very much...
Mr. Forlorn: Mr. Wonka, it's impossible to improvise so well in poetry...
Willy Wonka: How good it is that this is not poetry, but music! Let's move on.
Charlie and Grandpa Joe walked behind everyone.
Charlie: The oompa-loompas were joking, right, Grandpa?
Grandpa Joe: Of course Charlie, he'll be fine! At least that's what I think...