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tlwelker β heartcore:. chp 02 page 45
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Published: 2015-02-25 05:49:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 2673; Favourites: 57; Downloads: 0
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Description
A transition page of sorts, poor poor Pimm ;; I wish I could've showcased more of the 2nd piece of Sukina art but ah...s'life. At least she's back~!...Ame might've gone a bit overboard and woke up the whole neighborhood, idk.
(I also ended up not using a chunk of the background assets I made. WHOOPS...ah well, for later!)
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Comments: 97
Sorry Pimm, but you're already dead
My only nitpick with this one is that the first and third pannels took me a minute to understand what was going on in them. The shading in the first made me initially think I was looking at actual objects and not slapstick effects, so mayhaps tinker with that a bit? : x As for the third panel, I think it would help if we saw Pimm at least once.
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ONLY TECHNICALLY~
Hmmm, shade it less you think? I can definitely see your point. Will definitely keep it in mind and hey! Less work for me~
And yeah, that could help! I figured with the previous page it'd be fine, but my schedule def affects it.
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"Technically," huh? So Pimm's demon type is undead? Or are they like Prinnies? Guessing the latter now that I've typed it--makes sense considering the context.
I know I've had the "it makes sense with what's on the previous page" line of thought, so I completely get where you're coming from. But the average reader is going to be at a couple disadvantages. First, they're only seeing one page at a time, whether they're reading it online or in a hypothetical future print form, and while they won't have necessarily forgotten what was on the previous page, it's still helpful to have some explicit continuity between them; a spur-of-the-moment analogy would be thinking like the relation between two pages is akin to two panels, in that you need to make the transition between them as smooth as possible.
The other thing (and related to the above) the average reader isn't going to pick up on is your train of logic (as I tend to call it). They might not have figured that Ame was going to smack Pimm across the cave--personally, I thought she was going to do whatever the equivalent to snapping his neck would be. So seeing Pimm in panel three would've immediately (if not much more quickly XD;; ) told me, "Oh, she didn't outright 'kill' him, she just smacked him across the cave."
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Aye, I think of em as a cute little wraith of sorts. Or like a deatheater! But y'know, more cute.
I understand the pacing is hurt by the schedule, I'm sticking to the long format though. It's a disadvantage online, but I am planning on a print run of all of this, and thus my main reference material for pacing is still long fiction, manga, and graphic novels!
I definitely agree on the panel bit. On this page, the last panel originally was going to show Ame front and center - but I decided suspense and pacing would win out, and decided to give her a slasher stalk intro instead.
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I honestly wasn't trying to suggest that the schedule was a factor of the pacing and I'm sorry for giving that impression. Honestly, I think it's silly for a reader to make a big deal of page-by-page releases of webcomics. I'm sorry if you thought I was harping on that. OTL
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Naaaw it's quite alright! I can understand it, when one reads it as they release!
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Yeeeeeup. Ame isn't nice by any stretch, she's definitely a work in progress!
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Eesh, I can feel a little terror hearing the steps of her heels. 8(
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Huhuuu, very good then!
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Even though Ame was in the wrong, he TOTALLY should have saw that coming. It's his fault really...well, I'm sure that's what Ame thinks.
Dunno why but I pictured him getting shot across like that, but the bell spinning in the air for a moment before Ame catches it- but that's just me seeing everything as a giant cartoon!
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YEAH, AME'S NOT REALLY THE JUSTIFIED TYPE~...
Hahaha, the bell is essential to his life though!
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She's a butt, a big butt, that has a big butt. Original twitter comment, do not steal! <=fact.
...Joking aside, very funny page. Action and comedy, two things I enjoy a bunch, thanks for making my day!
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Hahaha, I'm just glad you enjoy it s'much ;u;
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You butt, I wouldn't make s'much random fanart of your character if I didn't like your comic!
Colorful, silly, fun, funny, butt-y, it's fun!
You and Random keep me entertained weekly.
Now hurry up and get a links page so we can exchange links! O:<
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Bllluhhhh, you are far too kind ;; Stuff like this makes the effort to keep it going well worth it!
I'm fine with exchanging links on the main page really. DEFINITELY need to get my ass in gear banner wise. HMMM.
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I know that feeling
Whatever you'd like to do, I have a banner and a link page with open slots so you gotta let me know!
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I intend to make some basic graphics for my Patreon shortly, I'll get that shit DONE finally.
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You better get dat,dat,dat shit done! >:C
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Interesting so far. Can't wait for more. X3
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Happy to hear it!
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Is it just me or does the eyes of Suko look rather weird in her last panel? Not sure what it is, but it makes her seem a bit derpy, if you know what I mean. Her mouth also seems to be placed a bit too much to the left.
Other than that one panel, nice work.
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Crossed eyes, intentional if you pay attention to her pupils! Mouth thing I'll edit a bit to see if it looks better though! Thank you~
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No worries Pimm, the Netherworld hospital will give you great points for this.
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Hahaha, gon' get some ABC Gum~
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Or a Testament 
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Oh my Jelly and Ham? What a world we live in...
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You're just jelly of how big of a ham my boy Royce is.
(THAT WAS BAD, I KNOW.)
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Well, he isn't going to try to piss her off again. owo;; Still he might want to run. xD .... or get her something she likes. xD
Nice work on his. ^^
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Not lightly, at any rate!
Thank you~
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Indeed, Β it's always the pretty ones that can turn scary when pissed. D:
You are welcome! Β ^^
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Been a while since Suko got some panel time
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Hhfffffffffffffff, she's so cute I can't- ;; She is definitely among one of my favorite designs of yours.
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Thank you so much ;; You'll be seeing plenty more of her!
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> Suko getting more panel time.
... this is always okay.
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YISS, it won't be nearly as lax as the last run.
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