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#amandajones #bondage #captured #detective #mystery #shortstory #spy #suspense #girldetective #teendetective #youngdetective
Published: 2015-07-14 04:22:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 19819; Favourites: 52; Downloads: 0
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After being thrown out of the Birtwhistle Museum, Dr Gilles Lafarge had taken up position in a coffee shop across the street.
As he ordered a small espresso, his eyes did not leave the museum entrance for a second; the barista’s attempt to engage him in perfunctory conversation failed. Lafarge then sat at the window, stroking his short beard, his devious mind a whirl of unanswered questions and angry machinations.
Most confusing of all was the presence of the Jones girl. He’d hoped never to run into the young brat again, after the previous summer’s debacle - yet here she was in New York, spying on him! Or... was she pursuing this ‘item’ for herself? In which case, who had hired her? Could it be a competitor? Or even the same ‘JB’? Why would JB double-cross him?
He needed answers, and was going to get them. He'd set out that afternoon equipped and ready to incapacitate anyone that got in his way. His plans had gone wrong, yes, but he was more than capable of dealing with Amanda Jones when she emerged, carrying the mysterious €50,000 item. Lafarge wondered whether the girl could open the clock: something was wrong with his instructions, but perhaps she could crack the code for him?
Two hours passed. He became agitated, stoked by the consumption of three more coffees. The museum closed. The lights went off, the doors were locked. But there was no sign of Amanda Jones.
Was she still inside? Had she sneaked out through another exit?
Lafarge's hands were shaking. He could bear it no longer - €50,000 was slipping away from him! He got up, crossed the street, and executed a plan that had formed in his crazed mind over two nervous, coffee-infused hours.
Entering an alley to the side of the museum, he slipped between dumpsters and made his way to the rear of the building. There, a concrete ramp led to a large steel shutter. Lafarge climbed the ramp and banged the shutter repeatedly, as loudly as he could.
It was a matter of five minutes’ impatient rattling before the shutter began to roll up with an electronic grinding noise. Lafarge saw the feet, then the pants, then the jacket of a museum security guard; then finally his elderly face and peaked cap. The guard was not a large man: this would not be too difficult.
“What the hell is that pounding?” asked the guard, incredulous.
“Delivery! Very expenseeve painting from France!” declared Lafarge in his authentic accent.
“No one told me nothing about no delivery mister,” replied the guard, using a triple negative that left Lafarge bemused.
“My truck eees around the side, please come and see…” said Lafarge, beckoning to follow him around the corner. The guard stepped outside with a scowl.
As Lafarge rounded the corner to the alley, he took a plank of wood that he had propped up ready.
What happened next was shielded from the street by the dumpsters: the guard appeared in front of Lafarge with a quizzical look – too late to avoid the plank descending on his head with a force that broke it in two. He went down instantly and lay moaning on the ground, a small trickle of blood running down his forehead.
Lafarge took a small bottle of chloroform from his pocket, tipped some onto a gauze pad and held it over the stricken guard’s mouth until he went quiet. After binding the man’s hands and feet with plastic restraints, he dragged him around the corner, up the ramp and into the museum. He decided to leave the shutter open. This was the perfect escape route. He would not need long. He set off through the back corridors, found the main hallway, and bounded up the grand staircase.
On the deserted third floor, the door to the Fossett Collection was open a small crack. Lafarge pushed it open, silently, then froze in his tracks.
Amanda Jones! She was across the room, with her back to him. The pest must have hidden in the museum. No doubt she considered herself alone. She was tampering with the clock. Perhaps she would open it for him now?
The corner of Lafarge’s mouth turned up in a sneer. He crouched behind a display cabinet, took to the bottle from his pocket, and tipped chloroform onto the pad.
Behind him, the door clicked shut. Lafarge grimaced: had the sound given him away? He waited then peered around the cabinet. Amanda Jones was still engrossed. She had no idea he was there, and was carefully turning the clock hands as he had done. But now the clock began to chime – she had opened it!
Lafarge got to his feet and crept quickly across the carpet. The Jones girl was absorbed, using her phone, completely oblivious to his approach. He closed the distance. At the last moment, the young woman seemed to tense up with realisation, just before Lafarge grabbed her and clamped the pad on her face.
She fought like a tigress at first, and Lafarge worried that she might break free. But he kept the pad firmly over her mouth and nose. It was a matter of time before she must breathe, then unconsciousness would surely follow - and so it did. The young woman’s struggles subsided slowly. Lafarge turned her head to him, still holding the pad in place. Her eyes were glazed over, the lids fluttering. He watched with satisfaction as she passed out and slumped at his feet.
He stepped over the unconscious Amanda Jones, reached down and picked up the letter from where she had dropped it. He stuffed it in his back pocket and congratulated himself: the ruse to drop it ‘by accident’ had worked!
Lafarge knelt down by his troublesome adversary, savouring his moment of triumph over her. She lay on her side in a collapsed heap. Without doubt, the young nuisance had matured into a beautiful, shapely woman. She stood out from the crowd, she turned heads; which was why he had spotted her so easily that afternoon. Recognition had come soon after.
His hand played over her thigh, smooth and shiny in its pantyhose. His other hand gently brushed the hair from her sleeping face and stroked her cheek. He would be there when she woke up, and would find out everything she knew - using whatever ‘persuasion’ was necessary.
Just then, Lafarge's eyes were caught by a metallic glint - they settled on a small brass key that had fallen from Amanda’s limp hand. So, this was what all the fuss was about? He picked it up, examined it briefly, and tucked it in his waistcoat pocket.
It was time to go. Lafarge rolled the unconscious girl onto her front, took her limp arms behind her back, and fastened her wrists with plastic restraints. He did the same with her ankles, pulling the restraints tight: he was taking no chances. He flipped her once more onto her back, reached into his jacket and pulled out a handkerchief and a roll of silver duct tape. He reached under Amanda’s slender neck and lifted; her head tipped back, mouth opening, lips still moist from the damp pad that had put her to sleep. Using two fingers, Lafarge stuffed the handkerchief into Amanda’s mouth then sealed it, criss-cross with two pieces of tape: there would be no calling for help when she came round.
Putting the roll of tape away, Lafarge placed a hand behind Amanda’s shoulders and raised her unresisting body to a sitting position. Her head slumped forward at first, but then lolled backwards as Lafarge put his other arm under her knees and heaved her up into the air, climbing to his feet. Staggering slightly, he leaned to one side, shuffled the weight in his arms and hoisted Amanda over his shoulder. She flopped over his back like a sack of flour.
Satisfied, Lafarge set off for the door. As he disappeared, a pair of canvas sneakers lay forgotten: the newest exhibits of the Fossett Collection. Beside them, a discarded phone lay face down. It began to vibrate.
Lafarge strode through the fashion room with a swagger, giving Amanda’s bottom an exuberant slap in the process. They were going to take a little trip now: soon she would be in packed in the trunk of his rental car, en route to a thorough interrogation.
But when he made it to the third floor landing, Lafarge knew immediately that something was wrong. The hallway and stairs were bathed in blue light, flashing intermittently through the long windows. He set off quickly down the stairs, Amanda bouncing heavily on his shoulder: he gripped her thighs and butt tightly to avoid her sliding off. Pausing at the window, Lafarge looked down and saw a squadron of police cars pulled up in the street outside!
“Putain de merde!” he exclaimed under his breath, but soon his voice was not the only one heard in the building. From the ground floor came the sounds of a frantic search: shouts and the clomping of booted feet.
Now was not the time to reflect on how the police had been alerted; indeed it was some time afterwards that Lafarge guessed correctly that his inauspicious arrival had been observed on CCTV.
But now was the time for action - for escape! Lafarge had surveyed the building no less thoroughly than Amanda, and made straight for the second floor fire escape: ironically the same one that Amanda had been planning to use. But, as Lafarge jogged past urns, inscribed stones and mummies, he puffed and panted with the young sleuth on his shoulder growing ever heavier.
Lafarge recalled that the fire stairs outside were narrow and ended in a drop down ladder. Damn! He realised that if he was to escape at all, he could not take the girl with him. But what to do with her, when she knew everything? If the police found her and revived her, she would blab all about him and where to find him. For a moment, he grimly considered snapping her slender neck. Then, mercifully, something caught his eye:
He found himself in front of a large bronze Assyrian casket on a plinth. It seemed large enough to hide a body – and, conveniently, the lid was open.
After a moment’s indecision, and realising that he had no better option, Lafarge stepped up to the plinth and heaved Amanda’s limp body into the casket. Her head struck the side with a thud as she disappeared into it, leaving only her legs dangling over the side – Lafarge gathered them up and pushed them into the tight space.
“Au revoir, Mademoiselle Jones” he sneered as he slammed the lid and fastened two bronze clasps.
Without a further thought, Lafarge sprinted with renewed speed through the next room and to the fire exit. He broke the glass tube, pushed it open and a rush of warm summer air hit him in the face.
There was no one in the alleyway below. He pelted down two flights of rickety stairs, found the ladder release and pulled it. With a creak and a crash, the ladder swung down and hit the ground. He climbed down the rusty rungs without hesitation and dropped to the concrete, gasping for breath, crouching behind a dumpster.
“Hey you there!” came a voice from some way behind Lafarge. But he was already running for the street.
As he burst out of the alleyway, he heard distant voices in pursuit, calling him to stop. He turned, saw the police cars to his left with their lights still flashing, and ran in the opposite direction.
Moments later, two NYPD cops emerged from the alleyway and looked around for the man they had seen escaping. But this was New York, and Lafarge had melted into the crowd.
Related content
Comments: 55
Torqual3D In reply to ??? [2015-07-24 01:26:46 +0000 UTC]
Well thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for spotting that slight repetition.
Yes, you've worked out why it is called The Casket Caper. And also, why I put chapter eight, Amanda's wakeup before this one. I wanted to capture her total sense of dislocation. If we'd known already she was in the casket, it would have destroyed a lot of the suspense.
I hope there's still enough of the above suspense over the subject of WHO has opened the casket and what they will do to Amanda?
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MosbyRedux In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-24 13:07:59 +0000 UTC]
Good strategic decisions there -- sense of dislocation and suspense achieved. And when you break free of a rigidly chronological presentation you can get much play out of drama/suspense etc.
Yes, from the comments I've read (and certainly for myself) there is still a lot of suspense over who's coming to open the casket! Most bets seem to be riding on either Lafarge again or Ciara riding to the rescue, though I suppose a policeman is also possible.
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ala33 [2018-12-23 00:03:29 +0000 UTC]
unknown to him the top of the box had an address to transavania where the next day he came back and saw the crate gone
as he left he knew Amanda would be out for a while, when Amanda came to she was sleeping in a strange castle unable to move
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Torqual3D In reply to ala33 [2018-12-31 05:07:26 +0000 UTC]
One possible ending! This is kinda what happens if you lose her first CYOA story...
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goblin775 [2016-04-26 21:22:36 +0000 UTC]
Once more: Very thrilling!
The (sudden, unprecedented) change of the perspective might be not the most elegant technique, however it seems really appropriate here and is wonderfully performed.
So just one slightly critical remark: I think you should have told earlier (when Lafarge wonders if Amanda could open the clock) that he had dropped the letter by purpose - if you give away such a pivotal point too late, it looks less believable and just like a narrative trick ...
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Torqual3D In reply to goblin775 [2016-04-27 23:22:25 +0000 UTC]
Yes the change of perspective was something I did with Rachel in the other story and I realise that it comes with problems.
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goblin775 In reply to Torqual3D [2016-04-27 23:43:59 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for your friendly reaction on my smart-aleck comment.
Maybe my wording has been too harsh:
I guess it would be no problem at all if you changed to Lafarge's perspective already at an earlier point, when your readers still are not (exclusively) accustomed to Amanda's perspective and thus more open for a change - maybe, when he notices her Standing out from the crowd, and he racks his brain who she is, until he recognizes her. Then you could switch back to Amanda, and later to Lafarge again, which wouldn't take the reader by surprise then ...
Please forgive me this suggestion: You're a great writer after all!!
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morpheus-cf [2015-07-31 05:34:45 +0000 UTC]
One significant advantage to the chapter format you're employing is that you get to tell the story from multiple perspectives, even showing the same scene from two different characters' points of view, and with no (or reduced) confusion for the reader, who might not be able to follow along as easily if this had been one huge deviation. So I retract my previous complaint about the short chapters and will resume praising your genius.
You're a fantastic writer.
Okay, break's over! Back to work!
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Torqual3D In reply to morpheus-cf [2015-07-31 22:44:06 +0000 UTC]
Thanks - I totally love multi-part character narrative. Not least, because there are two sides to the sleepy fetish.... Victim and Captor. It's natural to tell the story from the victim's point of view (i.e. the heroine) however it seems that most people associate more with the captor, even though he/she may be a villain. So, we have to either choose between a single, omniscient viewpoint (which utterly doesn't work for mystery stories) or switching between two immersive viewpoints. It has to be the second...
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darkshadow1018 [2015-07-29 02:18:11 +0000 UTC]
Excellent story! I hope to see it finished sometime!
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Torqual3D In reply to darkshadow1018 [2015-07-29 03:28:06 +0000 UTC]
Not long now... Thanks for commenting!
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Mad-Man-with-a-Pen [2015-07-17 02:27:18 +0000 UTC]
Very interesting here T3D
Cool to switch up to the villains POV for a chapter, giving us a look at what they were doing and the opposite end of the chloroform KO. Liked his final taunt to the trapped Amanda before taking off.
Another great update, sorry for not commenting earlier!
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Torqual3D In reply to Mad-Man-with-a-Pen [2015-07-17 03:18:42 +0000 UTC]
I recognise that a lot of readers would want to see what's happening from the bad guy's point of view
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ThePHantom52 [2015-07-16 17:58:47 +0000 UTC]
I am really enjoying how this story is progressing. Your writing is like an artist creating a painting, where each brush stroke adds to the overall picture. That is what you are achieving with this story. Each new segment overlaps others to fill in details and create the total picture of what is happening. I liked this segment as it followed Lafarge's actions from his sitting in the cafe through his escape from the museum after hiding Amanda in the casket. It gave him a reason for being, if that makes sense. He now has a purpose, and it fits the plot that he would knock out Amanda.
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Torqual3D In reply to ThePHantom52 [2015-07-16 18:32:11 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, that is what I was aiming for. I think that girl detectives are pretty rare and knockouts in the real world don't happen all that often... so I am trying to make plausible characters and scenarios. If you feel I have achieved that then good. I remember we discussed this after the second story that you wrote. Plausible characters and motivations really do add something rather than having a fantasy world populated simply by bimbos and sexual predators.
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Torqual3D In reply to gundam20012005 [2015-07-16 03:53:50 +0000 UTC]
Don't rule Amanda out, just yet.
But Lafarge is a slippery bastard, right?
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pizzanerd1 [2015-07-16 03:43:10 +0000 UTC]
It's a shame Lafarge had to leave the lovely Amanda behind, hopefully there is another chance to capture her
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Torqual3D In reply to pizzanerd1 [2015-07-16 03:45:35 +0000 UTC]
He will go back for her if he can.
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sizwe2 [2015-07-15 19:06:41 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the great content you put out 👍🏾. Also will we see any cameos in this story or in future art; Hannah,Nicole, Ciara etc...!
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Torqual3D In reply to sizwe2 [2015-07-15 21:26:59 +0000 UTC]
Well I need to get this story finished then we will see more from the other girls. Thanks for commenting.
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takemydreams [2015-07-15 18:31:39 +0000 UTC]
And the drama continues! I don't envy Amanda when she comes around though! Well worth the wait - looking forwards to the next installment
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Torqual3D In reply to takemydreams [2015-07-15 21:29:12 +0000 UTC]
Well, this section was from Lafarge's viewpoint and runs concurrently to parts 5-8. If you want to know what happens when Amanda comes around, it's in Part Eight:
The Casket Caper - Part EightSensation returned to Amanda suddenly and painfully. The first thing she became aware of was a pulsating, throbbing headache. The pain was so intense that, for an unknown time, it overwhelmed all other feeling.
Then, as consciousness slowly returned, Amanda opened her eyes just a crack and found herself in pitch blackness.
Where was she?
Something was on her face.
She lay disorientated, confused by the crushing pain in her head, dimly perceiving a rhythmic sound which she identified as her own breathing.
Amanda now noticed that it was not just her head that hurt – her whole body ached from top to bottom. She tried unsuccessfully to sit up - and suddenly realised that she couldn't move. Her legs were bent up against her chest. Something bit into her ankles, holding them together. Her hands were pinned behind her back - they felt cold and numb.
A forlorn wail of despair formed in Amanda’s throat but she found that her mouth was sealed shut - the sad sound e
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takemydreams In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-16 17:19:59 +0000 UTC]
I must have missed that part - thanks for the link
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Torqual3D In reply to takemydreams [2015-07-16 18:39:12 +0000 UTC]
Glad you caught it! Yes things are a little out of sequence. It's kind of how I like to write, playing around with time and perspective.
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takemydreams In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-19 20:45:26 +0000 UTC]
As long as it's still cohesive (which this is) I have no problems with that - when things start dancing around too much I give up and end up chucking the book lol
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Torqual3D In reply to takemydreams [2015-07-20 03:54:17 +0000 UTC]
Good! I am hoping to post the next chapter tomorrow - and I hope you'll like that one too.
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takemydreams In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-26 21:55:02 +0000 UTC]
That's alright then just concerned that i might have missed it again!
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QuadCities [2015-07-15 02:51:24 +0000 UTC]
Well, there goes my theory that this was no chance encounter but a delicately choreographed kidnapping. It's just as well. I like my villains to be a little too clever, fortunate, and cruel for real life, but anticipating Amanda would sneak into the museum after hours strains credulity. Switching the narrative to LaFarge for a chapter answers some questions and raises others, as well as gives us a chance to enjoy the same payoff scene in a new light.
I like that you set the action with LaFarge taking out a security guard. The fact that he walks around everywhere with a bottle of chloroform makes him the creepiest academic since Humbert Humbert .
My one issue, which you might be about to resolve, is that dumping Amanda back in the coffin doesn't seem any better than dropping her on the floor. Is there any way he's going to get back before the authorities find her? I like the image of him disappearing into the night, but if he has any real fear of her blabbing to the authorities, killing her may have been the most rational option. I know you and most fans don't want to think of that, but variety's the spice of life. Have you considered alternate endings, a la Choose Your Own Adventure? On the other hand, if he somehow manages to get to her first, you've set up a pretty tense interrogation scene.
Anyway, great action in this one. You've set up a half dozen lovely images in this one. The couple's poses have been great, and I'd love to see more, but I'm really hoping to see Amanda in the titular casket (Still alive! Like in part 8).
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Torqual3D In reply to QuadCities [2015-07-15 21:37:15 +0000 UTC]
It was a chance encounter, but I also like the idea that it had been choreographed. That said, if Lafarge knew Amanda was in the coffee shop (which is where this starts), he could have simply waited outside for her.
I hope the change of viewpoint works. This story jumps around both in time and in viewpoint. As for Lafarge's chloroform, well, he is a dab hand with it
I think that sealing Amanda in the coffin is a lot better than leaving her on the floor, where the authorities would find her immediately and try to revive her. She's been knocked out, isn't making any noise, and if she is left in the casket, they will walk right past her. She can't get out either, as it's clasped from the outside. There's a good chance we won't be discovered at all. And if she runs out of air in the casket before anyone discovers her.... well...
Lafarge himself didn't even know whether he was going to make it out of the museum. Committing a murder right before he might be caught would be pretty dumb - although he did consider it.
He has every intention of interrogating Amanda - IF he can get the chance. The question is, is it him that opens the casket at the end of part eight, or possibly someone even worse?
I have been working on the next image today. I hope you like it.
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AzureVirgo [2015-07-14 18:42:37 +0000 UTC]
Pezzi de merda! This word count you working with is aggravating. Had my Twizzlers and was getting good. Still trying to imagine what could be worth $55K US in a museum. I liked how detailed you were especially when describing where his hands were when he was trying to carry Amanda away. Please continue!
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Torqual3D In reply to AzureVirgo [2015-07-14 23:11:04 +0000 UTC]
The brass key from the clock is worth €50k to somebody.... who knows what it's REALLY worth?
Thanks for your comments about the hands etc. Trying not to be too over the top.
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AzureVirgo In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-14 23:17:35 +0000 UTC]
It's fine. The way you described it, I could see it as if you did a render of it.
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Torqual3D In reply to AzureVirgo [2015-07-14 23:20:33 +0000 UTC]
I am tempted to do a render of it as well
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Nebagram [2015-07-14 17:59:12 +0000 UTC]
Woo! Glad to see you're back, and Amanda isn't in quite as much trouble as originally thought... At least, not at LaFarge's hands, anyway.
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Torqual3D In reply to Nebagram [2015-07-14 23:10:00 +0000 UTC]
Well yes, have you worked out why it's called The Casket Caper now...?
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Nebagram In reply to Torqual3D [2015-07-15 16:17:26 +0000 UTC]
In fairness she's already been in there quite a lot!
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Curia-DD [2015-07-14 11:37:49 +0000 UTC]
No this certainly is NOT the end of the story! And it was worth the wait. Lets hope someone checks that casket before it is too late...
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Torqual3D In reply to Curia-DD [2015-07-14 13:03:25 +0000 UTC]
Yep, before the air runs out...
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SimonJM [2015-07-14 09:22:07 +0000 UTC]
Oh dear, this is terrible ... awful!!!! I am out of popcorn!
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