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TranslucentWings — Untitled09
Published: 2004-06-04 12:34:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 225; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 31
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Description I once met the devil
  He had eyes that burned a neon blue
and as they dripped from the sky
      to the slippery earth from which
                            his crooked legs had sprouted
he said to me,
     "My hands could possess ink blotches
like bruises,
but I'm late for the city."
An I bid him farewell as he left
to run with the rats and sleep under
                      open windows.

I once met a man
   He lived and worked for the garden
meddling with the haystacks
              and humming his tunes.
The flashes and noise of
      the highway
built a castle around him
and drowned out his ditty
so that now instead of
    smiling to the bees and
               speaking to the flowers
he hides from the highway
             and whispers to asphault.

I once met a woman
   She pretended everything
was a movie
and had a soundtrack for
             each day.
Her thoughts often reek of solipsism
       but she believes that
             she has friends
             to share them with.
Who had no problem writing this poem
but often, could not remember
the image of her own face.

And this woman would eat the scraps of the devil's soul,
If only she was not so stubborn.
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Comments: 41

okpixel [2004-07-09 23:53:52 +0000 UTC]

very cool. i like it mucho.

^_^

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TranslucentWings In reply to okpixel [2004-07-10 01:25:17 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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SixFeetUnderwater [2004-07-04 12:41:08 +0000 UTC]

nice, love the second stanza I guess the most coz I relate with that one most closley, but I also really like the poem as a whole.

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TranslucentWings In reply to SixFeetUnderwater [2004-07-04 19:22:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank you *tips hat*

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KisaMogwai [2004-06-15 02:40:45 +0000 UTC]

i really like this one.. i can relate to the beginning in a way in which i almost wonder if we haven't the same 'him' in our lives.. heh.. sleeping under open windows and the like...great preview pic as well and gotta love anything with a quote from Round Here... my fave song to sing aloud outside in the rain..and the only song i know all the words to well enough to sing

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TranslucentWings In reply to KisaMogwai [2004-06-15 17:59:57 +0000 UTC]

lol yes that song is beautiful. haha maybe we do have the same him. Ahh. . Although I find it hard to imagine there is a duplicate of him.

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KisaMogwai In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-15 21:36:28 +0000 UTC]

well 'my him' is named Alex.. so.. ::shrugs::

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TranslucentWings In reply to KisaMogwai [2004-06-16 01:58:06 +0000 UTC]

Ahh nope mine isn't Alex. But close I suppose.

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KisaMogwai In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-16 09:31:51 +0000 UTC]

that's good

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moldycheesepuff [2004-06-08 12:24:06 +0000 UTC]

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WoundedWeapon [2004-06-07 02:39:32 +0000 UTC]

Awesome poem, I can really relate to it. I always have a soundtrack going on in my head, it keeps me up at night sometimes. Every time I look in the mirror in the morning I expect my face to be changed, the crooked lines of pain etched into my skin.

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TranslucentWings In reply to WoundedWeapon [2004-06-10 19:20:45 +0000 UTC]

Yes, it can keep me up at night too. Thanks for the comment

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Drained [2004-06-05 20:31:31 +0000 UTC]

this is very good. i love it.

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TranslucentWings In reply to Drained [2004-06-05 23:08:54 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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LovelyJadedLoner [2004-06-05 04:26:41 +0000 UTC]

Great imagery. I sorta get what you are saying... it's intense, and I like it. Well done.

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TranslucentWings In reply to LovelyJadedLoner [2004-06-05 17:03:29 +0000 UTC]

thank ya

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Lecco [2004-06-05 01:11:54 +0000 UTC]

I agree with William. Not smart enough to comprehend certain things. I really really don't get the ink blot part...could you fill me in? *writes simple poetry because I am simple*

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TranslucentWings In reply to Lecco [2004-06-05 17:01:51 +0000 UTC]

Well, this is where that part came from! I had ink blotches all over myl hands one day from writing so much. (that looked like bruises) And the person who inspired the first stanza COULD have ink stains from writing so much too if only they would let themselves go.

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Lecco In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-06 01:03:34 +0000 UTC]

Woo! *over head*

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TerrapinFlyer [2004-06-04 22:08:01 +0000 UTC]

Mm yes, very nice..I think I understand a fair piece of it, but definitly not all of it. I do especially like the first bit about the devil and the imaginary man came out very nicely Great work as always Carly

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TranslucentWings In reply to TerrapinFlyer [2004-06-05 16:58:18 +0000 UTC]

Merci Beaucoup Dennis

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VoodooChild939 [2004-06-04 21:52:30 +0000 UTC]

that is SO BLOODY COOL!!!

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TranslucentWings In reply to VoodooChild939 [2004-06-04 22:06:35 +0000 UTC]

lol that's what you alwyas say! thanks

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VoodooChild939 In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-04 22:07:40 +0000 UTC]

yeah, well it's always true too!

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punxrox [2004-06-04 19:41:26 +0000 UTC]

I think I get it o.o but I'm not sure @_o I'll be reading it over a few more times.. but yeah, I do love it. I love how you always indent stuff.. gives it.. something o.o Tres Awesome-o, Love it.

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TranslucentWings In reply to punxrox [2004-06-04 20:58:40 +0000 UTC]

Merci Beaucoup!! I'm glad that finally someone gets it, lol. I didn't think it was that hard to understand! Thanks for teh commentz0r

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dubbilex [2004-06-04 19:40:52 +0000 UTC]

I certainly don't get any of the first third of it - it's really abstract and I'm not an intelligent sort of fellow.

But the next two paragraphs I think I actually might understand and can probably relate to the "imaginary man" the best of all. I also really like the..

Who had no problem writing this poem
but often, could not remember
the image of her own face.

..part of the play - it seems like it would have had a really personal meaning to me a month ago.

Anyways, nice work. This might be one of the first poems of yours that I don't really understand, but that can be expected

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TranslucentWings In reply to dubbilex [2004-06-04 20:57:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you I'm surprised so many people didn't understand it!! I thought that it would be mostly straight-forward (except for maybe the first stanza). I'm glad that you liked it nonetheless!

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dubbilex In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-06 21:05:13 +0000 UTC]

But of course

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quintessa27 [2004-06-04 15:38:29 +0000 UTC]

i like the end, and all the imagery is great. don't worry your head will bounce back--mine always does, although i always think the feeling has to be eternal (because there ARE no answers) but it always fades. if you ever feel like hanging out in the fetal postion, clinging to carpet fibers, peeling oranges--things of that nature--you know who to call.

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TranslucentWings In reply to quintessa27 [2004-06-04 20:55:26 +0000 UTC]

lol, thanks meijie. I read your "my life and my mind" poem today; and you're right - it totally does make so much more sense to me now. I feel like I know what you were trying to say Glad ya liked the poem!

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quintessa27 In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-06 16:02:36 +0000 UTC]

yay! i'm glad someone besides me could understand it!!!

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Peacefroggie [2004-06-04 13:21:26 +0000 UTC]

Wow, okay that's amazing It makes perfect sense to me! I know exactly what you're doing hehee

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TranslucentWings In reply to Peacefroggie [2004-06-04 15:34:07 +0000 UTC]

lol, does it actually make sense to you? Thank you for the comment

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Peacefroggie In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-05 02:31:10 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I like very much the way the sortof connected images flow throughout...and something about it reminds me of that Dylan song, "and who did you meet, my blue-eyed son? Who did you meet, my darling young one?"

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TranslucentWings In reply to Peacefroggie [2004-06-05 17:02:54 +0000 UTC]

thank you i'm glad for your comments!

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mournfulcrow [2004-06-04 12:51:52 +0000 UTC]

Carly I must say I love the imagry, but it is just way over my head and I have really no fucking clue what your saying. I think I should read it a bunch more times, but even then I dont think Ill get it...

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TranslucentWings In reply to mournfulcrow [2004-06-04 15:33:35 +0000 UTC]

ahh it's because my mind is falling apart. Thank you for the comment

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mournfulcrow In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-04 17:37:00 +0000 UTC]

lol welcomed, i dont think your mind is falling apart, I just think that your talking about something really abstract that is over my head.

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TranslucentWings In reply to mournfulcrow [2004-06-04 20:56:10 +0000 UTC]

lol but we love you anyway william

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mournfulcrow In reply to TranslucentWings [2004-06-06 06:21:22 +0000 UTC]

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