lungsped [2010-04-18 17:53:04 +0000 UTC]

wow.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ShadedRain [2005-08-05 04:27:32 +0000 UTC]

Those lines could be whispered or screamed... it's very clean in it's form. I like it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

imperfect [2005-01-14 23:07:58 +0000 UTC]

i think the numerics are fine here because, i see the 29 as someones age, since when do people write their age in letters? I am not sure i understand the 50 reference, i want to change it to 45, because i like the image of a middle aged woman burning old record, with the play on "burning".

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

quintessa27 [2005-01-08 16:58:33 +0000 UTC]

sorry i'm just getting around to this now--I really like it though--doesn't speck's class make you sick to your stomach about the media? did u guys watch the ad and the id?? it's really twisted when you think about it--"when did commercials stop being about informing the consumer about a product and start being a form of hypnosis?" shit like that makes you think about how much of an impact the media really has on a person. *screams* scariness!... great poem though and just long enough to get your point across exactly--sweetness.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

SixFeetUnderwater [2004-12-09 17:07:30 +0000 UTC]

wicked

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TerrapinFlyer [2004-12-09 12:17:55 +0000 UTC]

The last lines are certainly wonderful, as just about every other commenter has pointed out, so I'll forgo the copy and paste. It sounds kind of familiart actually. Did you swipe it from something else you wrote? It does seem very you.

I like irony of the anti-TV theme with the camera-work tansitions. Mayhaps not meant to be ironic, but noteworthy nonetheless. The preview is hot as well.

Speaking of IMAGE, have you ever seen that urban/hip-hop clothing store in Crossgates so fittingly named Image? Hilarious in my opinion.

Makes me want to read Farenheit 451, or throw a TV out of a window.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mournfulcrow [2004-12-09 03:12:51 +0000 UTC]

amen sister, "throw away your television"

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

xonlyindreamsx [2004-12-09 01:48:46 +0000 UTC]

Great piece.

Someone already brought up the numerical/alphabetical discussion regarding 29 and 50. I originally thought it would look best alphabetically, but now that I have given it some thought, I'm not so sure. It's all a matter of personal preference I suppose, but seeing as you already have "mp3" in there and you can't exactly change that to "mpthree", I think leaving the numbers as is would probably be best in regards to the flow of the piece. Although there is just something about seeing "fifty" rather than "50" that I seem to prefer. 29 doesn't bother me as much.

But that is such a trivial debate and it really doesn't distract from the piece whatsoever. It's great whatever way you look at it.

Coincidence, Fahrenheit 451 is my current reading material for my daily commute.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

moldycheesepuff [2004-12-06 01:53:41 +0000 UTC]

habitual bombardment of
IMAGE IMAGE IMAGE

my mind explodes
into a pixelated mess of
Thursday night Primetime.

love those lines, excellently done, im in the middle of typing my AM lit essay, so im just a lil befuddled ill hafta read it over again great job tho.... ive got some of my own meaning outta i tho great job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Lecco [2004-12-06 01:46:14 +0000 UTC]

My favorite photo you've ever displayed for a poem, a quote from my favorite book and I loved these lines:

"my mind explodes
into a pixelated mess of
Thursday night Primetime."

And it is REALLY mood and content accurate to Fahrenheit 451, including the "hearing the city groan" imagery...which was used in the book. I like this a lot!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

logey [2004-12-05 20:32:34 +0000 UTC]

I really like the style of this.

That, from me, is a huge compliment.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VoodooChild939 [2004-12-05 20:07:55 +0000 UTC]

God, you're just one of that tiny few people whose work I can barely even look at it because it's so amazingly good and that goodness is always distributed so well around the poem, it's not just the one line here, it's this one and this one and that one and it's just liasdg, yeah

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tornaura [2004-12-05 18:21:48 +0000 UTC]

I'd like to see the 29's and the 50 out in leters rather than numbers, unless there's a huge signifigance to them being numerically typed out rather than alphabetically.

Otherwise, love this

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dubbilex [2004-12-05 16:18:51 +0000 UTC]

I'll begin with a question: What's the significance of the number 29 in the first stanza? Every time I read that line it seems like a . . . missing tooth; it feels strange to me no matter which way I tongue it.

Second, I like the film terms. It makes this more of a scene than a poem and the poem is richer for it.

I enjoy the second half of the poem more than the first half - I especially like the personification here:
Mother burns a 50, cupping her breasts
lays her head to the
dirty streets
and hears the city groan

This is a fitting picture of a culture raised by goddamn monster wolves in a concrete cave. Nowadays all we can do is hide from the brutish realities of this foul year of Our Lord: two thousand and four.



I like the preview - reminds me of Ralph Steadman.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Drained [2004-12-05 15:59:59 +0000 UTC]

"my mind explodes
into a pixelated mess of
Thursday night Primetime."

that is my favorite line. it's a very written poem. i don't know how to critique it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1