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uberpixie — unfinished
Published: 2005-06-30 22:16:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 181; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 11
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Description
scene opens in on an open doorway to some unnamed coffee shop. camera scrolls past the line of customers, and hold briefly on the barista serving drinks. camera focuses for a moment on the lack of tips going into the tip jar and pans up into the uhappy baristas face. camera continues to pan over, and spots a girl. the camera then proceeds to motion as if it is sitting down in the seat across from the girl. the girl, tall and akward, with black rimmed glasses and slightly dischevieled hair, looks up from her copy of trainspotting and nods towards camera. camera pans out to focus on the girl, and a boy (who's sitting where the camera was sitting previously). the boy is slightly shorter than the girl, and sporting a red leather coat, very reminiscent of the 70's. he leans over and says:boy: (looks up and motions, smiling) lovely day out isn't?
girl: (rolls eyes and dog-ears page in book)wonderful cliche` pick-up line, wasn't that. (opens book again)
boy: (shurgs) i was just trying to start a conversation. (motions as if to leave the table) guess i'll try to talk to someone less pretentious and uppity.
girl: (closes book angrily) pretentious? what the hell gave you that idea?
boy: (sit's back down and leans forward, points to book) well, the reading material for one. "trainspotting"? man, because that's so not stereotypical-angsty-art-student reading or anything.
girl: alright, i'll give you that one. but what makes you think that i should talk to you. first thing, you walk up to me, I was minding my own business, drinking my coffee being (air quotes) "angsty" reading my book in peace, when you decide to walk up to ME and start your annoying weather b.s. you walk up and disturb me, and then question why i'm irked? are you completely off your rocker, or are you just teetering on the edge?
boy: (leans back smugly in his chair) you don't remember me, do you.
girl: (raises and eyebrow) well this is a random change of events... should i remember you?
boy: (leans forward again, this time, close to the girls face) yes. you should. just THINK about it. i'll give you time.
girl: (leans in so she's practically nose to nose with him) can i at least get a hint?
boy: (leans back in chair again) the name's noah. that's all you get.
(NOAH get's up and walks away, moving to a nearby table)
(the girl looks at him, puzzled, and starts to read her book again)
NOAH: (turns towards girl) you're not even going to try to guess?
girl: (sighs and puts book down) personally? no, no i am not going to guess. you don't look familiar, your name doesn't even ring a bell. hell, i think you're just fucking with me, trying to get your rocks off by bugging the hell out of some random chick. i don't have time for your bullshit today. (opens book again)
NOAH: (chuckles) i should've expected this reaction from you natalie.
NATALIE: (scoots chair closer to NOAH) how do you know my name?
NOAH: i told you, i KNOW you.
(NATALIE places her chin in her hands and really starts to think about it.)
NATALIE: did i meet you on campus?
NOAH: nope. try again.
NATALIE: did i meet you at a party? OH! wait! it was simon's party, wasn't it!
NOAH: (shakes his head) nuh-uh. try again. here, i'll give you another hint... take it back about 15 years.
NATALIE: (strained look on her face, nose wrinkled) fifteen years... did we go to elementry school together?
NOAH: close. i occassionally went to school with you.
(NATALIE suddenly leans back, shocked.)
NATALIE: (scoots even closer to NOAH, studying his face) it's YOU. i... i can't believe it's you...
NOAH: suprised?
NATALIE: (flabergasted) i can't believe you're REAL...i, i, i never thought that you'd be REAL...
NOAH: thought you'd just imagined me, right?
NATALIE: (takes NOAH's hand.) well, yeah. i mean, no girl actually thinks that their dream guy is real. we all grow up figureing it to be just a nice little fantasy. how is this possible?
NOAH: (leans in to whisper into NATALIE's ear) i'm here because you dreamed me up. you have a gift, you know. anything you want, you make appear.
NATALIE: that's not possible. that's never happened. (pulls away, frightened) WHO ARE YOU???
NOAH: (leans back in chair, and raises arms in frustration)WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME THAT!! (forcefully falls forward, and rests his head in his hands) ... i've already told you... i don't want to have to explain this again
NATALIE: (flails vividly with her hands) look, this is hard to take in, okay! i walk in here to read, to take my mind off of my tragic life, and some stranger walks in, who, now i find out isn't a stranger. on top of that, you tell me that you exhist because I WANTED YOU TO BE REAL! no offense, but that's alot to take in, let alone believe! i mean, SHIT MAN, i'm trying to think if any of what you're saying is true! i can just think of something and i get it? how the FUCK would that even work! care to explain that one, dream man???
NOAH: (looks up at NATALIE and stares into her eyes) i'll try to explain this the best i can... the mind is an amazing thing. we have the concious, and the sub-concious. the majority of the world only taps into the concious, unless, say they're dreaming, then they tap into the sub-concious. the sub-concious is this amazing and magical untapped resource. some, however, can tap into that magic well of brainy-goodness. YOU happen to be one of those people. your sub-concious manifests itself into reality. if you imagine something, and want it bad enough, your mind makes it happen. it's like magic, only it's based on your wills and desires. that makes sense, right?
NATALIE: (slightly dazed and rubbing her forehead) well, that sort-of makes sense, but why would i have this ability? i'm not special, psychic, gifted, or whatever! i'm just some boring girl who can't think of anything past what's going on with herself at that particular moment? why should i have some special magical "power"? (leans back in the chair, and tilts her head towards the celing) oh, man, i think my head is going to a-splode...
that's all i have so far, if anyone has any ideas, let me know.
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Comments: 2
Hey, overall, great piece so far. I think Natalie lets Noah into her reading time a bit too easily. But the story is pretty interesting. It's very theatre-y. The dialogue is my personal taste.
Remember in Star Wars EP 1 how they try to explain how Midichlorians work?? but all the scientific explanation kind of erodes the magic of the force. It's supposed to be mystical. Anyways, your story is nothing like Star Wars, but I think the part where Noah starts explaining his existence can be changed. If you are going to explain something so illogical, it had better be convincing. Perhaps use analogies or examples of mind-over-matter in history. Or change the story so no explanation is needed.
As for ideas, I think it would be fun to develop this story so Natalie is totally convinced, and then Noah asks her out... He has this self-satisfied smirk, like it really was a pick-up after all. Horror movies endings have taught us the value of a suggested plot twist.
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yeah, i'm still haveing a little trouble with this one, and thank you so much for your input.
sad thing is, i'm a very logical person, so trying to make a believable point out of something that has no real logic is difficult for me. it's like tossing a bowling ball in hopes of getting it to land on a golf tee; i bet it could be done, i just can't quite see how to make sense of that possibility.
as for the end, that's exactly where i'm heading with this. and yeah, i know she seems a little to easily distracted from her book, but have you read "trainspotting"? trust me, it's easy to distract someone who's reading it.
and thank you sooo much, your input has helped me out immensly(sp?).
p.s. i r a bad speller, if you couldn't tell.
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