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vladerag — Go tell the Raven
by-nc-nd
Published: 2010-02-25 01:21:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 1001; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 9
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Description
Go tell the ravenwho wears black feathers
in mourning of a dead world
although his manner be better than his cousins
that he should rejoice at the new birth
of a new world
Go tell the raven
whose clear eyes pierce realities shroud
seeing the world clear
that his sight is beautiful
So says the raven;
Do you not see heavens scar?
where a star and stars were cast down from the sky?
the fire of ambition drawing to itself sparks
which, in the final consumption, find similar fates
how may I cast off my mourning garb
when the wound shall never heal?
So says the raven;
nevermore shall heaven shine whole
nevermore shall its song rebound
missing as it is so many voices
nevermore shall be purity
nevermore, oh nevermore!
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Comments: 36
No. No italicizing! It's perfect as is! You're right--why make it obvious? That's clumsy and assuming either 1) the audience is too stupid to notice or 2) you don't feel your work relayed the message well enough. I've read this poem before, haven't I? Me gusta mucho.
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i think you need to either creak up the lines differently or add more punctuation. the lines don't flow well in some parts. also I found there two line weird.
"where a star and stars were cast down from the sky?
the fire of ambition drawing to itself sparks"
star and stars? if you are using the dual definitions of the word star, I think that one of them should be italicized. otherwise it just looks like a really weird grammar error. the other one... just sounds weird as one line. I think it should be two.
Also, the last stanza seems totally random.
GRAH! long comment is long...
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a star and stars refers to lucifer and the rest of the angels who rebelled against god. Lucifer is the star and the other angels are the stars. Lucifer would also be the fires of ambition and he draws those of likewise ambition, and they indeed all shared a similar fate.
Also, the last stanza is not random at all. the first two stanzas someone is speaking to the raven, the last two stanzas the raven is replying, all of which leads up to why the raven in Poe's The Raven says nevermore.
Also, the poem has a definate flow to it. although, I would have to read it to you for it to make sense.
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Well, then I would suggest italicizing the singular "star" which would help convey that symbolism.
Eh, I don't know. I felt that there should have been at least two more stanzas before that last one. The flow really drastically changed between those stanzas. But perhaps I am not seeing it. Did you have a particular song in mind while you wrote this? Maybe it will make more sense to me if I listen to it.
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When I first uploaded this poem, I worried that people wouldnt get the symbolism. My friends at writers workshop assured me that most people would. anyway, where is the fun in making it obvious?
Also, no there is no song that goes with it. just a particular way it should be read.
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this is quite spectacular. i enjoy reading this every time
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so do i, it is my best work, a fit of inspiration that I fear will never return.
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it will return 
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not luke, sideas. get it right. i am evil.
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It's understandable enough, I always wondered why that bird kept saying "Nevermore!"
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yea, although I always thought the raven could say more. It just liked f-ing with the gus mind...
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lol That explains a lot, doesn't it? Birds love to f with our brains.
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Hmm, yeah, definitely the squirrels.
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the little red ones are vicious...
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I've heard they steal food sometimes. Or was that foxes?
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actually, the little red ones are more likely to beat up the grey squirrels and take the food then anything else.
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... Woah. Nasty little rats.
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If the only allusion is Poe, then yes, it's understandable. I like the first stanza very much, but I get a little bored in the last. It might just be because it doesn't have as much imagery as the other stanzas.
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This is by far one of my favorite poems I've seen so far on deviant art. You have a lot of talent, and for that I am watching you :3
+Fave <33
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this is the best piece I think I have ever written, I am glad you and others like it.
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I'm pretty sure everyone in the English-speaking world knows The Raven, so I wouldn't worry about being obscure. If you were referencing, I don't know, Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Portuguese sonnets, maybe, but Poe's Raven? You're fine.
I thought it could do with a bit more punctuation though, to give it rhythm and nuance. And meaning, actually - the line "although his manner be better than his cousins" is a bit hard to understand without the commas/parantheses/dashes that would make it into an aside. And "heavens scar" should be "heaven's scar".
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Thank you, and I probably should have been more clear, I am also alludubg to Milton's Paraise Lost, I wasn't sure if people would see that as well. I will be definately adding in some punctuation now though.
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Ah, well there I fail because I haven't read Paradise Lost. But I didn't feel like anything was too cryptic, so I wouldn't worry
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cool interpretation! one of my favourite poems
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