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VyletsAlterEgo — AxL Comic Thingy 1

#astro #astroboy #atom #blackandwhite #boy #comic #fanart #lili #lilly #lily #lineart #manga #rumiko #rumy #style #tetsuwan #tetsuwanatom #astrolilly
Published: 2018-02-21 00:59:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 793; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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Description Hurray, I made a comic thingy!!

(read left to right)

1. Lighthearted joke to start us off with. (Also Lilly/Rumy has a hair ribbon, like she did in the manga. I'm basing most of this comic thingy on the 80's cartoon, so she only really has it in this panel.)
2. Don't mess with a Holmes! (Yeah, I have a headcanon that Lilly is Rock's sister, because they have similar noses and hairstyles.) Astro attempts to explain his actions at the end of this episode, and after. Even though Lilly is mad, she's going to allow him to explain...
3. A: "I'm sorry."
4. L: "So... now what?"

It's not completed yet. Page 2 needs inking.
Poor Astro and Lilly. Their relationship is complicated.
Also, these two desperately need more fanart.
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Comments: 7

YugiohHorses [2018-03-07 00:08:03 +0000 UTC]

i like the "I support gay rights" / " i'm gay " hahaha
most fail pickup line ever, i love it :'3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VyletsAlterEgo In reply to YugiohHorses [2018-03-07 15:58:15 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!! I'm glad you love it!!  

Thanks for the comment!!  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Chouhatsu-Itsudatsu [2018-02-27 03:10:51 +0000 UTC]

So, I'm not really an Astro Boy fan -- but I did watch a few episodes including 'Lilly on Peligro Island' to get a sense of the characters to properly assess these comic panels.

From the looks it, this is one of those 'continue where canon left off' fanarts where the hero actually does wind up with the girl he was into but couldn't get with in the show because reasons. And as a fanfic writer, I can appreciate that.

On a purely aesthetic level, you really have captured all the details of their designs, which is awesome. Though they don't say much here, it's clear that you've got their personalities down well as well. Going from the animated canon, this seems like a scene that would actually happen if the show returned to this plot. Given the time period in- and out-of-universe, it doesn't seem likely that Astro would fall back on that typical copout line -- but getting a cup/bowl of...something...to the face in the face of that seems perfectly fitting. Also with Lilly's naivete, it feels natural that since she did have genuine feelings for Astro herself, that she wouldn't ultimately just up and leave him for something like that.

Speaking of which, the dialogue beginning in the first panel seems to be a reference to something/joke? I don't really get it, but it's not terrible or anything. The dialogue in the second panel is again straight out of the episode, more or less, and makes a little more sense. Given this, you provide dialogue for panels three and four -- but don't actually put it in the art, which is a bit confusing. I know there are moments when characters in comics and even animation or live action or, heck, real life do things without words and convey feelings through other body language. However, since you supplement the textless panels with specific words anyway, then I'd suggest just putting them in there like in the first two. If you want to convey what they're thinking or feeling wordlessly, then just let the art speak for itself. Those who see it in context will be able to fill in the communication gaps on their own. 

A slight nitpick would be Lilly's skirt overlapping the text in panel one. If you're not going for something more meta or whathaveyou, I'd suggest cropping it with the top of the text box. You have your initials and the date all over the place, which leads me to think that this was actually three or four separate drawings sort of merged into one four panel comic. Even so, I'd get rid of all but one in the bottom right-hand corner. It doesn't toally take away from the stuff going on, but it's still a little bit distracting. I know art thievery is very common and you don't want anyone else getting credit for your hard work but you don't have to go overboard.

All in all, a really good piece. Great start for a passionate fanshipping comic. Good luck with the rest of it! 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VyletsAlterEgo In reply to Chouhatsu-Itsudatsu [2018-03-07 19:16:13 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the long comment! And thanks for the art advice! 

It's meant to be a bowl of ice cream (forgot to mention that, oops!) The second panel is meant to be sort of a joke about the writers making Astro quickly forget Lilly and falling for Niki in another episode. As you can tell, I wasn't happy about that, and the title of that episode didn't help much ("Astro's First Love"). So it's really more me venting than what I think Astro would actually say. (He'd probably say something more like, "I'm sorry about faking my death, please let me explain.")

The beginning panel is a reference both to a meme I found, and to the fact the original author of Astro Boy sometimes adds a silly non-sequitur joke to take away some of the tension. 

I didn't have much room to add the dialogue in the last two panels, which is why I had to exclude it. But you're right that it looks better wordlessly. 

For Lilly's skirt, I wanted to go for that effect in manga where the character seems to "step out" of the panel a little. But it's true that since I don't do that for any other panel, it may look a bit awkward. 

I'll remember the signature thing next time. I suppose it's a case of me being too paranoid about art theft, since this was all drawn on a single page. 

Thanks for wishing me luck! And I wish you luck with whatever stories you're writing next, too!  

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ChippanyTheChipster [2018-02-21 03:28:14 +0000 UTC]

Omg that was so hilarious, smooth move Astro

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VyletsAlterEgo In reply to ChippanyTheChipster [2018-02-22 05:02:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it so far! Page 2 is coming soon!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ChippanyTheChipster In reply to VyletsAlterEgo [2018-02-22 11:37:04 +0000 UTC]

Awesome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0