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WordOfChen β My First
Published: 2014-06-10 16:52:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 4951; Favourites: 308; Downloads: 0
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Your loving smile,
On luscious lips,
Once red,
Now coloured,
In shades of blue.
My only mistake,
When I stole your breath,
Was falling in love with you...
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Comments: 107
Meh, people can say what they want, it don't bother me :'3
-Chennie
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Does it not affect you in any way?Β
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Well you might feel a tiny bit upset...but I figure that man has to make a choice at that moment. He can choose to get angry about it or he can take that hatred and use it as fuel to propel himself into something greater. I try to choose the latter :'3
-Chennie
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"When I stole your breath"
Big deal. He kissed her. I guess.
"Your loving smile,
On luscious lips,
Once red,
Now coloured,
In shades of blue"
Luscious lips once red ... turned blue ??
What the heck ? Did he kill her by strangling her or whatnot ?
Loving smile ? So he kind of loved her before ?
Why ? Why on Earth would he even think about doing that ?
I'm so confused.
Toaster.
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Lol yes he did kill her, and why? Who knows, people are crazy sometimes :'3
But he didn't kiss her
-Chennie
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"Who knows, people are crazy sometimes :'3"
Just like that, really ... Man, why am I even getting so turned up by this ? It's only a few words, but still ...
Killing her, such a nice and cute young woman ... just for the heck of it ?
It is so insane.
What kind of treatment is possibly appliable to this kind of guy to ensure greater good ? Apart a .45 ACP slug through the head, I don't see.
Then again, I tend to be quite extreme in my statements, in this kind of occasion. Why ? I don't know. And it is so frustrating.
Sorry for the potential aggressiveness.
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Maybe if you just criticise him instead of flaming or toasting him. Just tell him if he had any way of improving. Stop acting like that.
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Wow wow wow ! Take it easy. I wasn't flaming at anyone. Nor did I have any intention of doing so.
Honestly, where do you read any kind of mean words directly, openly aimed at him without any possible doubt ?
Maybe the words I used left my intentions unclear, but I didn't want to sound mean in any way.
Peace.
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I'm terrible at the "guess what this means" game, but I think this piece is pretty rad and just wanna throw out my own interpretation.
To me it comes off as a piece about a dude falling in love with someone at first sight... while murdering them.
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You're spot on, I'll have a mention for you mate ^^
-Chennie
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Falling in love with a girl ... while murdering her ??
Wow. That's pretty ... sick. :-S
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I know! That's why it's such a fascinating concept! :3
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Yeah, maybe. But still ... that's f-ing disturbing.
Why murdering her in the first place, then ?
Oooh ... now that I think about it, it reminds me of Hercules (I think it's him. But I'm not 100 % sure.)
During one of his adventures or quests, he had to fight an Amazon. But not just any Amazon : their queen.
Both were extraordinarily skilled with their swords but, eventually, Hercules being maybe not the most-experienced, but the strongest and the most resilient, he killed her. And, at the very moment his sword entered her body, the Amazone queen, who maybe wasn't exactly indifferent to Hercules, with her last breath, gave her victor a last look. A last look that was so particular Hercules instantly fell in love with her.
This poem is a freaking Greek tragedy.
May I borrow your ear piece ? *faking Scout's voice* This is Scout. Tragedies make me cry !
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Tired brain talking:
A first kill.
He fell in love with the victim he killed, or he fell in love with the killing itself.
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Yes you've got the correct interpretation :'3 A mention for you m'dear
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Ooh, yay! 
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Yes...he did x'D
A mention for you :'3
-Chennie
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You criticized properly
With merit and pride
Of shallow words
That lack meaning and depth
Poetry should be a story
Not just meaningless frivolityΒ
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That is indeed true my dear friend x'D
-Chennie
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Agreed.. whether it be poem or prose, it should tell a story
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That lacked meaning and depth..
MY BRIAN IS NOT FUNCTIONING TONIGHTΒ
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This is really adorable!!! Awww...applause well deserved!
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Wow, great job! Changing it up is an amazing idea! c: This is very nicely done and demonstrates how well-rounded you are.
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Just doin' what I love to do right? ;3
-Chennie
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I imagine the story is the same as in "Where the Wild Roses Grow", beautiful song by Kylie Minogue.
Whatever the case, it's a gorgeous short poem, painting a vivid picture in my head with use of few words. And if anyone says you don't got it again, just point them to this. Their mind should be blown. vuv
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I don't know the song x'D You'll have to tell me zee story :'3
-Chennie
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You won't really experience it without hearing the song itself but, here goes;
It's about a man who falls so madly in love with a woman and sees her as simply the symbol of perfection to such a degree where he thinks beauty like hers shouldn't be allowed to exists, so on the third day of them meeting each other, he takes her to a rose garden or something and murders her there.
It's a highly similar story to what you have here, but believe me when I say, both what you wrote And that song are golden~β₯
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A nice poem. 
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haha, yeah sometimes interpretation is like that. Thank you for enjoying it though ^^
-Chennie
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I love this. It's so simple and yet so deep. I feel like it can be taken both literally and figuratively; it could be about a murderer who fell in love with his victim, which I'm sure is how you intended it, but it could also be about a guy who fell in love with a girl, but used her, and now her love for him is dead. Either way one reads it, it's a great poem
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Haha yes, the intention was the first and therefore, a mention for you :'3
-Chennie
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The poem is about a killer. A serial killer, because the title is my first. He loved his first victim but killed her, he isn't regretting it but he kinda feels sorry.Β
My interpretation. Nice poem ^3^
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You're right about it being about a serial killer :'3 Well done ^^
A mention for you :'3
-Chennie
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Thank you kindly m'friend ^^
-Chennie
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as always m'lord you are most welcome
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And I thought I told you I would never be worthy of being a lord ;3 x'D
-Chennie
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The lips in shades of blue is a symbol of asphyxia or cold, though it is also the result of poisoning.
Since later on we learn that the protagonist has a hobby of stealing breaths,(what happened to collecting stamps ?), I would go with that being the reason for the color change.
I did enjoy the contrast between the luscious, red lips that turn to cold blue, yet they were of such intensity to leave behind such a lingering impression. Of course the tragic twist in the end where the protagonist falls in love with his/her victim is fate's way of making things complicated or interesting. Suffering from unrequited love and having no one else to blame but yourself.
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Thank you for thinking so deeply about it, indeed the poem was about falling in love with a victim of murder
Nicely done ^^ a mention for you
-Chennie
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