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wthdude1plz β MLP How Not to make a Sue
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Published: 2011-09-06 03:29:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 19822; Favourites: 405; Downloads: 421
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NOTE: PLEASE READ ==> Lol. I'm flattered, but I don't have the time, patience, or fortitude to look at your OCs and tell you how to fix them. xD Just read up on the tutorial and compare your OC with what we're saying.Full view to really be able to read it. VERY TEXT HEAVY.
A collaborative effort between myself and my good friend *Goldenkitsune-Queen
This here, boys and girls, is how to make a decent, My Little Pony OC, while keeping away from the things that make them total Marysues. We see far too many examples of just plain BAD characters, and so, we made this. Use the information here as a sort of guideline when creating your OC.
I know it's very text heavy, but the info is good and something to really keep in mind when making your OC.
I did most of the writing, with a few pointers and much help from *Goldenkitsune-Queen and a few others in the group I run.
*Goldenkitsune-Queen is responsible for the wonderful illustrations and, again, a big help on the text based content as well.
Special thanks to *Kuurokaze who proof read my giant text wall of typos, misspellings, forgotten words, and generally badly written mess. <33
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Comments: 295
Being awesome - you're doin' it right.
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I love this~
However, it may be best to change the text if possible. It is VERY hard to sit through D:
Maybe adding a bit more organization as well? I could help, if you want. c:
Overall, though, I LOVED the points made here. Very thorough and well thought out. And the illustrations are cute!
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thank you, I'm glad you like it.
I don't really plan on changing ti though, ahaha. It's text heavy for a reason. A lot of the people I've met who make BAAAD characters, don't get simple explanations of why something is or isn't acceptable. and If you mean the Text's font, I think it's easy enough to read. plus, for someone who's going to create a character, a viable background, history, and personality for said character, and PROBABLY spend a looooong while roleplaying said character or writing stories for them, it shouldn't be too long of a read through. ^^
But thank you anyways. ouo
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Yeah, it's the font, not the amount.
It hurt my eyes a bit, since it's fancy text. @_@
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Lol. Well I apologize for the font then. xD I still like it, but I suppose not everyone would.
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It's fine c:
It's very pretty xD I may actually make my own, based off of this. More of a visual than a textual.
THAT IS, IF YOU DON'T MIND. D:
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Um, well I can't tell you not to? xD
When you say "Based off this" do you mean it would basically be taken from ours but less text? xD;; I mean.. I think maybe you could make your own without using ours. We wouldn't really like it if we worked on this to have someone make a version they think is "better" xD;;
But yeah, I guess that's up to you? I can't tell you what you can or can't do.
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I'm not gonna STEAL your words, dear! Goodness, no!
I know you worked very hard on this and I wouldn't dare take from your idea. And there is NO WAY I'd think mine was better. Just a more VISUAL guide, is all. I love this guide more than anything! D:
I'm a visual learner, and I know there are other people who are as well. There are also people who don't like to read text as much as pictures, you know? As long as the information is helpful it shouldn't be bad, right? I'm sorry if I offended you! I just got inspired by your idea. ;;
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no, no, you didn't offend me at all. I misunderstand things a LOT. xD I think you're right though. some people are more visual learners while others CAN read through a bunch of text.
I say go for it. ouo I'd love to see it when it's done, too. ^^ <3
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Huzzah! No problem at all~
You'll be one of the first to know!
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Ah, yes, the wonderful K.I.S.S. Nice job simplifying it for all those that either are planning on making a Pony OC or have made one.
I'm just thankful that I now have Basil, and that he's not a Marty Stu nor is his backstory too complex. ^^
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ahahaha, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I just hope it helps people who are unsure of how they should build their character.
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Yeah, I'm glad to know that there are others who appreciate non-Sue/Stu characters/ponies.
Personally, I think my own Pony OC is pretty simple: a pyromaniac gardener that got burned as a colt, but still loves fire. *shrugs* I think thats good enough for me on his past/backstory/background.
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there you go. I think that's a very good example of a character with a "crazy" or "out there" past/background without going overboard. Good job.
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Thanks. Glad to hear it. ^^
Oh, if you want to see how drew him... [link]
And he has his own friends [link] .
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Question: what's a sue/stu? Forgive my ignorance.
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To answer you're question, I'm just gonna copy pasta the Wikipedia definition of it, since it sums it up pretty nicely, and bold the parts I personally think are the most important.
A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. It is generally accepted as a character whose positive aspects overwhelm their other traits until they become one-dimensional. While the label "Mary Sue" itself originates from a parody of this type of character, most characters labeled "Mary Sues" by readers are not intended by authors as such. Male Mary Sues are often dubbed "Gary Stu", "Larry Stu", "Marty Stu", or similar names.
While the term is generally limited to fan-created characters, and its most common usage today occurs within the fan fiction community or in reference to fan fiction, original characters in role-playing games or literary canon are also sometimes criticized as being "Mary Sues" or "canon Sues" if they dominate the spotlight or are too unrealistic or unlikely in other ways.
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ah i see. thanks.
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Yeah, I'm gonna try my best to make non Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu ponies. I just find it more challenging to make a Pony OC more than an OC.
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LOL! I learned about KISS in my Language Arts class! 8D
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Hahahahahah. This post is so full of truth.
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Step 9001: do the first thing that comes to mine
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Oh lawd.. I know pony OCs like this. Thankfully I made mine very, very normal. That description at the bottom though... Oh how he reminds me of someone...
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lol. Sadly, I've seen MANY OCs just like that.
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"keep it simple stupid"
JUST THAT. IS MAKEING THIS GO IN MY FAVS.
oh and a question.
if i am writing a OC with a sad history but fits within a actul point in the show. is it ok?
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lol. thank you.
As for you're question, to be perfectly honest, that sounds like you're doing 2 things you shouldn't do when making an OC. 1) Sad past ClichΓ© 2) Major reference to the main show.
But hey, it all depends on how you bring it together, but you've gotta be really good to do that I think. It really depends. Care to explain just what the sad history is and what, in the show, caused it?
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... AHAHAHAHA XD
Ilu saya
ilu so much xD
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xD ilu2 biffle. ilu2. xD <333
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hey hey I need to talk to you about something later, note?
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oAo sure. note me when you get the chance. I don't know how quickly I'll get to respond though.
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Avoid even having knowledge of the characters? but twilight is like Celestia's number one and RBD made a massive spectacle of herself in sonic rainboom, fluttershy is a huge fashion model and rarity's designs are endorsed by Hoity Toity, im not sure about AJ or Pinkie though, sweet apple acres maybe
I could understand if you meant knowing them personally and im sure no pony else but them, Celestia and Luna know about the Elements of harmony, nut making a character completely oblivious to the rest of world seems silly
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Yeah, I'm going to give my (admittedly amaturish) opinion on this one.
A rule of thumb is to give your OC the knowledge that somepony would have if they never met them before. Being a fan of Fluttershy as a model, or RD's flying skills, or Rarity's fashion work, for instance. They probably wouldn't have even have HEARD of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, or Twilight (unless they were from canterlot, and even then they would probably only vaguely recognize her name, seeing as she was an antisocial egghead.)
Having an OC from Ponyville is a bit different. Seeing as Ponyville is a close-knit society, they would probably be at least a little familiar. Pinkie Pie literally knows and likes EVERYONE, and Twilight even knows most ponies' names. AJ is a bit famous in ponyville, since her family provides a large amount of the food, and she did win that one award in episode 3. The furthest you should take any relationship is either a VERY casual friendship, a mild dislike, or even a romantic one, provided it never progresses further than a one-sided crush. (my OC has a bit of a crush on Twilight, for instance)
Just keep in mind that you are not creating a new main character for the show; 99% of Equestria is filled with average ponies with mediocre abilities.
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That makes quite a bit of sense
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Let me clarify, then, by adding one simple word. "They shouldn't have intimate knowledge of the main characters."
I didn't mean that your OC should be stupid and oblivious to the big things around him or her, and yes they may hear of certain ponies in passing, but that's about it. It's not something that should honestly effect their past, present, or future, nor their personality or pretty much anything else in their lives. I'm sure many ponies have heard of the characters you mentioned, for the exact reasons they mentioned. Is it a point you should base your character around? Absolutely not.
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ahh okay, that makes more sense thanks
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The part that interested me the most was the Mane 6 thing. I've seen that a lot & thought it was okay, but...it isn't? I'm confused, so be straight with me. Is it a'ight or not?
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The Mane 6 thing? You mean about not Knowing, having knowledge of, being friends with, or being romantically involved with anyone from the show?
Yeah, no, for Original Characters that, other that being inserted into the world by their individual creators, have NOTHING to do with the show or the actual cast of characters, this is a big no-no. There are very rare ( As in, 1 that I've actually seen )cases where it kinda works, but honestly, it's just another way that people try to make their character more important. "Oh, look at me! My character is friends with Fluttershy, so she's really important, so you should pay attention to me!" It's a plot for attention and comes off as amateur.
Your best bet? Either make some more pony OCs for your character to be friends with, or join one of the many awesome Pony OC groups and communities here on DA. As I said in the artist comments, I myself, run a group such as this. It's a good way to interact with other characters and build your OWN community of friends and ponies, rather than trying to insert your character into the Canon universe.
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first off I just wanna say thanks for making this tutorial * w * It reminds me of one that I made a while back- [link] except that I never got around to making a "part two" XD (Heck if I did make a part 2, it would have been something similar to this!)
Very nice idea in making the cutie mark first!! Gosh that would save so much time on just about everything XD Usually I choose a type (unicorn/pegasus/unicorn etc) then their special talent/cutie mark and then their history and the rest of the design. But by the time I did all that, I get completely stuck on the color scheme! ; o ; (sometimes I even get indecisive about names T_T)
But if I make the cutie mark first (colors and all!) then it would answer all those other questions!
Thanks again, people like you make the OC fandom (in MLP's especially) a much better place XD
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Baaaaawwwwww
;u;
I wish I could fave comments cause I'd fave yours a hundred times. That was so nice of you to say. <33 Thank you and you're so welcome.
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Aw shucks, I'm glad you liked the comment 
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I usually tend to make my OCs (pony and otherwise) history first, then flush out who they are. That being said, I see great pointers here, both for people who don't know how to avoid bad OCs, and those who do. All in all great work my friend.
On a side note, I find it very hard to avoid the sad/dark character quirks. This may be from my Warhammer/D&D back ground. Do you have any hints at all on how to get to grips with all this bubbly pony enthusiasm?
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I'll spend a bit of time on your question, since it's a good one.
Well, in general, I frown on the "Oh poor me, my past is riddled with sadness I am so sad and no one can understand my pain" bullshit a lot of people tack onto their characters.
However, I don't believe this means you CAN'T have something BAD happen to your character. As long as you don't focus everything they do, and every action they take around how Sad they are, then you'll probably do a bit better.
For example, I helped my girlfriend shape one of her ponies. She a mail carrying pony. When she was a very young Foal, her older brother went off to enlist in the army. They found out later, that he died in the line of duty. Her character was obviously devastated, and of course it effected her greatly. Later, she receives a package from her older brother. turns out it was sent the day he died. On the package, it says "to my dear, sweet, wonderful little sister whom I love so much. You are always in my thoughts." This heartfelt sentiment helped her pull through her tragedy, and even find what she wanted to do in life. Bring people the mail. She wanted to give other ponies the same feeling she got when she received that heartfelt package from her brother. She's now a strong, confident ( Though sometimes too hasty ) young Pegasus, but overall, her emotional level is fairly balanced.
Basically, don't let your character's tragic past/event control every other aspect of them. This is what I like to call "Cloud Syndrome" named after FF7's Cloud.
Now, if you're really just looking for a way to have a generally angry, sad, or depressed character, who says you can't? Just try and try away from the hall mark "His/her parents died so now their sad" crap. Maybe your character is just an ass hole in general. nothing wrong with that. Some people just hate the world and everything in it JUST BECAUSE. Like it was said in Batman, and I paraphrase here, "Some men just like to watch the world burn. There's no rhyme or reason to it. They just do." Though it doesn't have to be that intense or anything.
Finally, as a general rule of thumb, just remember this.
The more unique you try to make your character, in general, the less it will be.
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Hmm, one of my OC's special talent is survival.
He's on a self imposed exile as a result of events
in his past that lead to his mothers death (he ran off into the everfree)
His father then more or less drank himself to death.
He has a bad case of survivors guilt.
But despite this he keeps his vigil in the everfree in a hope that he
can turn aside ponies so that they do not suffer at the hands of the creatures that inhabit the forest.
Is he too mary-sue in the eyes of everyone?
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Hmmm. I would honestly say that maybe he's a little too "here and there"? If that makes much sense. Ask yourself this, how MUCH does his current role as a character ( his present, in his current timeline ) depend on his dark past? If his parents were still alive and happy, would he really be so different of a character? Are you giving him a sad past just for the sake of having a sad character? Tragedy for the sake of tragedy never works. The tragedy shapes the character, yes, but it doesn't DEFINE them, or it shouldn't. Unless you're Shakespeare, you're not gonna be able to pull it off well. xD
also, WHY does he watch over the everfree forest? If you'd like, I could make a suggestion to the character?
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