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Zark123 — Masks
by-nc-nd
Published: 2012-03-18 22:00:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 2300; Favourites: 75; Downloads: 15
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Description
When a smile is a frownAnd a frown is a smile,
The eyes we must crown
For relinquishing wile,
When a laugh is a tear
And a tear holds no pain,
Will fear fear to fear
And fearfully abstain?
When the act is the truth
We've lied to believe,
And the fable in sooth
Is but a peerless weave,
When each mortal mistake
Is a tale and a song
And the scriptures are fake
Or perhaps they're wrong,
When the mind is the eye
That sees the outside
But shame, it's too shy
Of the tongue which has lied,
When the answers are easy
To the questions unknown,
Do you not feel queasy
Of how little we've grown?
When acceptance is feigning
For it keeps us alive
Like sunshine to greenlife
On deceit we thrive,
When certainty is in doubt
And fiction is a fact,
The truth may come out
But is it ever intact?
When can mere candor
Hold its frail fort,
When all this slander
Plays such a good sport,
When can we speak without a plan
And in our authenticity bask,
When the mask becomes the man?
Or when the man becomes the mask?
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Comments: 26
Your Piece Is A Most Rivetting One- Its Simplicity And Novelty Should Suit Your Prospective Audiences Or Readership. However, I Could Not Agree Less With Two Lines- Or Should I Deem It A Limitation On My Part, Being Unable T˚˚˚°º Decipher Its Meaning?
"The Eyes We Must Crown For Relinquishing Wile" I Am Unable T˚˚˚°º Appreciate What It Is You Are Saying Here.
"And The Fable In Sooth Is But A Peeless Weave" Same Applies Here.
Besides These two "defects", With My Narrow Eyes, I Aver: MASTERPIECE!
Of Course Paying Little Attention T˚˚˚°º The Rhymes, Unlike The Classicist's Will Have ε̲̣ Do.
Nice Piece Zark- Do Not Derail From Your Style; Its Great!
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Thank you so much for this critique
The eyes we must crown for relinquishing wile - Only the eyes tell the truth when all the other organs of a person lie (stereotypical, I know).
And the Fable in sooth is a peerless weave - And the fairy tale is a perfect work of fiction (or a lie).
If you do not understand any other parts, please get back to me!
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"The Eyes We Must Crown For Relinquishing Wile"
Perhaps You Are Right, But, How Then Do You Explain Optical Illusions?
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i love to write poetry but im to scared to share it with the world, i have tons of patience that never wheres thin, im also wiser beyond years as many people i have met have told me. Its nice to know i can saw words some people can not comprehend
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Haha you compliment me beyond my talent 
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I Think I Complemented You Beneath Your Prowess. You're A Wonderful Poet. Whish I Could Write Like U
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Haha, poetry is all about patience...If you have that, you can write like anyone!
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:Sighs: Patience Is Just Not One Of My Virtues.
How Can I Write Then? :sad:
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You can still write, it'll catch on along the way!
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Can You Teach Me How To Write Sonnets?
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Ofcourse!
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No, now's good! Do send me a note when you're ol.
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Old school but different than what I see everyday being AABB, which is extremely boring. My favorite quatrain setup is ABBA (and once in a while an unrhymed 5th line at the end, but not often).
In the second stanza, 3rd line, great minds think alike. I wrote a similar line in a poem of mine that goes, "Fear fears to fear." It's a statement as opposed to a question like in your piece. Looking on Google surprisingly neither quote exists.
I hold this true to be one of your very best, up there with your Beauty poem. You really know how to keep an audience captivated and a poem going.
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the compliment! I am going to give the ABBA setup a shot now, lets see how it turns out.
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The poet Tennyson in his work In Memoriam - A.H.H especially (in regards to a lost friend) writes in the ABBA setup. It's quite underrated and so he as a poet.
You're welcome.
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Melody!
anyways i would change this line a bit to be even more melodic to
But shame, it's too shy
Of the tongue which lied.
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wow this is very deep and philosophical, it carries a lot of meaning and emotion. You're right we do hide ourselves the more we climb the social ladder.
Its funny I just finished watching Never let me go and you're poem reminds me of it.
Keep writing beautiful words
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Thank you, that's exactly what drove me to write this
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Hahaha ABAB CDCD...very old school! I guess it worked
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