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zeroisthecoolest — Not Myself
Published: 2004-05-13 18:30:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 120; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 13
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Description Im slowly dying
every night im crying
but  you dont know because
im always lying.

My heart is burning
and my soul is choking
but you dont know because
im never sulking.

Sooner or later ill reveal myself
But until then ill just be someone
else.
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Comments: 8

Tridelvior [2004-05-29 01:34:31 +0000 UTC]

Wow. Awesome poem. The flow is very natural. I like it. It stirs some feeling in me. Very nice.

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lunalopus [2004-05-15 15:30:33 +0000 UTC]

You've got a knack for getting at how people don't feel like anyone really sees what they are going through. Very well done. As far as the writing goes, your repition of this line "but you dont know because" is nicely used. It didn't get redundant and helped to make the poem stronger. The only problem I have is with this line "im never sulking." It seems to break up the flow of the poem that you had going. Other than that a great job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

zeroisthecoolest In reply to lunalopus [2004-05-16 01:28:27 +0000 UTC]

thanx a lot! i appreciate all the comments i get because ppl dont normally like to read poems on this site....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lunalopus In reply to zeroisthecoolest [2004-05-17 03:40:23 +0000 UTC]

No prob!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

alith-ai [2004-05-14 13:53:35 +0000 UTC]

wow that describes so many people!!!!wow

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zeroisthecoolest In reply to alith-ai [2004-05-14 18:01:53 +0000 UTC]

thanks for the fav i really appreciate it!!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

alith-ai In reply to zeroisthecoolest [2004-05-14 19:35:52 +0000 UTC]

hey that piece deserves it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

zeroisthecoolest [2004-05-14 11:54:35 +0000 UTC]

I messed it up the first time so here now it looks good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0