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#ajax #bull #camp #dragon #fox #knight #minotaur #order #shorak #hurgran #peregryphon
Published: 2019-07-06 06:54:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 5273; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 0
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'Fallen Angel' by 3 Days Grace
The tiny familiar landed on the roof of a nearby building, shuffling his feathers. He almost never complained about his job (and NEVER to his master’s face), but this was getting boring as hell.
Skye's orders were simple: follow the girl, report anything abnormal about her or her condition. It was fun at first, and interesting to see her misadventures play out, but even his master got tired of the same or similar reports hour after hour. Now, he was only to report SIGNIFICANT changes.
Today was an eventful one, for once. But should he report in? It was nothing his master wasn’t already well aware of.
Skye was an interesting creature, as familiars went. He had served his master loyally for many years, as had the rest of his flock. He, however, stood apart from the others, possessing many abilities and skills they didn’t. He was also more intelligent, given a higher IQ and the ability to think critically by his master. This capacity for decision-making and thinking logically on his own was so that his master wouldn’t have to micro-manage his every move. This was necessary for him to carry out his duties as a spy. Whether he was self-aware or not was debatable, but his loyalty was 100% real. Being turned into a familiar was a magnificent gift. He didn’t even remember his former life.
Suddenly, he perked up. The loose wall panel was moving again. He shifted his talons and wings expectantly, preparing to take flight. The girl’s state was worsening, so it couldn’t…
He was surprised as a Ferenor emerged, a young one. Ryder, if he remembered right. One of the others that’d been kidnapped. A Kitsune joined him outside soon after. It was the younger Kitsune, the one named ‘Jess.’
He watched curiously as they set out. His task was to monitor Claire, but she wasn’t going anywhere in her condition. Would it hurt to broaden his horizons? His master might be mad if he missed something important, and he couldn’t deny he was intrigued by this turn of events.
He spread his wings and swooped after them, his wings magically-modified to be perfectly silent. He heard the voices first, followed soon after by Jess.
Ryder tilted his snout to the sky, sniffing curiously. “It’s Razur and Sinar.”
The familiar’s breath caught at the mention of those names. Then he shook his head. This changed nothing, just a small hitch in the plan.
He continued to follow them, landing on the building shortly after their arrival. He earned a glance from Jess, but only a glance.
He listened off-handedly at first, but his curiosity at Claire’s condition grew, and so did his concern. She was suffering from some condition called Soyronn’s Disease, which was slowly killing her.
Claire was DYING? But that…
He was pulled from his thoughts as a small bird landed beside him on his perch. He growled angrily at the intruder and received a friendly chirp in response.
The bird was a familiar, but not one of Skye’s master’s. The latter had zero respect for other mages’ companions, they lacked his loyalty and devotion, but he made an effort to restrain himself. He couldn’t break cover; his master would be furious if he did so for such a stupid reason. The bird was appalling to look at, far from easy on the eyes. He himself was nothing to brag about – he had no problem admitting his gray and off-white feathers were rather bland – but this blue-feathered idiot was an eyesore, practically burning his retinas.
Suddenly, his impromptu perch-mate dropped down onto the Kitsune’s shoulder. She jumped in surprise but said nothing.
He continued to listen, growing more and more interested by what he was hearing. If Claire died, it would utterly ruin his master’s plans. He knew nothing of Soyronn’s Disease and had never heard of it before then, but it would be in everyone’s best interest if Claire remained in good health. And that meant getting her help. Maybe he should help these 2 (or 3, if you included the overgrown blue jay) escape the area.
Jess dropped down from the sill and looked at the bird perched on her shoulder. “You…you want to help me, don’t you?” A shrug in response. “You…want to help me to help Claire?” This time, a vigorous nod.
“I guess we got someone else helping us, now,” Ryder observed, smiling at the bird. Jess nodded after a few seconds.
In the coming days, as the following events played out and he took part in them, Skye would start to question his master’s intentions for the first time since he began his service.
As the group of 3 set out, he continued shadowing them, forever tying his own destiny to theirs.
“I warned you, Daniel,” Alex was saying shaking his head. “You should’ve just let it go. He gave you every chance to drop it and move on, now he had to lay down the law with you.”
Danny was still bitter from the confrontation with Jack. The guilt over his past life choices was back, but above that he was pissed off at the Kitsune. Everything Jack told him about ‘redeeming himself’ and ‘sleeping better at night’…was it all just a lie to get him to work for them? At this point, he was stuck between the hammer and the anvil. He had no choice but to continue working for them.
“And what do YOU think of me, Alex?” he demanded. “Do YOU think I’m a monster, too?”
The Peregryphon hesitated at this, looking away. “Daniel, I…”
Daniel huffed, sweeping open his wings with one fluid motion. The action shoved a patrol car to the side by several inches, setting off the car alarm, but he didn’t care. “I should’ve known.”
“Daniel, wait!” Alex called out to him, but it was too late. Danny took flight, wanting to fume in private.
Daniel was completely alone about an hour later, his anger somewhat cooled down. He knew he’d have to return soon, lest Jack think he was defying orders and fulfill that threat, but he needed some time alone. He was on a rooftop, he wasn’t sure where. The building looked abandoned, so he hoped he’d be left alone, at least for a while.
Now that the heat of the moment had passed and he started to REALLY think, parts of the story started to make less and less sense. Jack told him once that he’d defied a direct order in order to save his life, curing him of Instinct Overdrive instead of putting him out of his misery as instructed. If the man really, TRULY hated him, then why save his life? Why not just solve the problem right then and there and put a bullet between his eyes? Was it really only for Claire’s sake, as he’d said once before? Claire didn’t know him. Why help a complete stranger? Pieces of the puzzle just weren’t matching up. He had to be missing something here, he just knew it.
It was during this time that DA finally spoke up: ~You shouldn’t let this break you, Daniel. You’re stronger than this.~
~I’m NOT broken!~ Daniel snarled, shaking his head. ~And where exactly were YOU when all that was happening? You’re a better fighter than me; you could’ve taken him!~
~Better than you, certainly, but I’m no match for him,~ DA replied calmly. ~But, to answer your question, I held back for 2 reasons, mainly: first, because you forbade me from interfering, from taking control of your body from you again.~
This stopped Daniel cold. He’d actually forgotten about that, in all honesty, about forbidding DA from taking over. He was angry at the time, however, pissed off. ~I…~ His expression fell. ~Look…I was angry with you at the time, alright? You saved Claire’s life on more than one occasion, and you wouldn’t have been able to if you hadn’t taken control. You have my permission if you feel it’s necessary from time to time. I just don’t like feeling like I’ve completely lost control; I feel completely helpless and it’s scary when that happens.~ DA remained silent at that, offering no response or reaction. Daniel sighed, shaking his head. ~You said you had 2 reasons?~
DA was silent for a long time, making Danny think it wouldn’t answer. Then, the Vordr finally spoke up: ~And second…because he had no intention of harming you.~
This caught him by surprise. ~What? He threatened me with a fireball!~
~Oh, the fireball was real, but he had no intention of actually USING it. His only goal was to put you in your place, which he could accomplish without violence.~
He rolled his eyes at this. ~You talk about him like you know him. Why’re you so sure he wouldn’t hurt me?~
~You just have to open your eyes every now and then, observe the world and see beneath the surface, and you’d be amazed by what you’ll find just by looking. Observing the world taught me a great deal over the past 2 weeks.~ Then the Vordr paused. ~And…you could say PART of me knows him.~
~PART of you knows him? What the fuck are you talking about?~
Before DA could respond, Daniel heard a soft thud and a flutter of feathers behind him. He turned, tensed for a fight, then relaxed as he spotted Alex in Peregryphon form, folding his wings. He turned back around so the Gryphon could have privacy to change and get dressed. He’d brought his backpack with him, so talking was obviously why he was here.
“Look, Daniel…” Alex finally said hesitantly. “I get it, you’re pissed off. I would be too in your position.”
“I’m not in the mood to talk about it,” Daniel growled, still looking the opposite way.
There was a long silence. Rather than leave, however, Alex sat down next to him, on the left side of his head. He looked out on the empty street, legs hanging over the edge of the roof.
“I used to live around here, ya know,” Alex suddenly said, conversationally. “Only a few blocks from here, in fact, in Boston.”
Daniel remembered him mentioning something about that once, but he hadn’t realized they were THAT close to his house. “Have you gone to visit them yet?”
Alex’s expression grew pained and he shook his head. “I haven’t seen or spoken with my parents since…well, since I left. It’s been 5 months since then.” He paused and his expression softened. “I miss them, though. I left without any real explanation. It’s been eating at me ever since, the guilt of lying to them, yet I have no idea what to tell them. I mean, how would YOU tell your parents you’re not human anymore?”
Daniel’s mind returned to that day in the woods, seeing his parents for the first time through a Gryphon’s eyes. He shook his head. “I didn’t have to tell them, Dr. Morris told them for me.” The guilt slowly crept back. “I…we talked for a long time, but…but I lied to them. They wanted to know why I was in Camp Ranelk on New Year’s Eve, and every time they asked, I changed the subject. Maybe it wasn’t technically ‘lying’, but it sure felt like it.” He shook his head again. “When I see them again, I’m going to tell them everything, no matter the consequences. The more I lie about my past, the more the truth eats away at me.”
Alex didn’t respond at first, staying silent for a long time, staring straight ahead. Suddenly, he said, “I thought you were a monster, once upon a time.” Daniel’s heart plummeted at this. “But I was wrong. A monster – a REAL monster – feels no guilt, no remorse for the things they do. While in Richmond, I saw the guilt in your eyes when he told you why he’d been ordered to kill you. I was curious, so I’d decided to follow you and listen in on the conversation. I knew, at that moment, that you were no monster. Maybe you’ll never find TRUE absolution, but you make a positive impact on everyone you meet. Maybe not at first, but everyone warms up to you eventually. Whether you die of old age, or seeking redemption, or something completely different, I guarantee a LOT of people will mourn you. I know I will, if I don’t die of old age first.” He patted the young Royal on the shoulder. “And Jack can go to hell if he thinks you don’t deserve a second chance.”
These words lifted Danny’s spirits immensely. “Thank you.”
There was a long silence. Then: “Who exactly IS Jack?”
Alex sighed, shaking his head. “I’m not sure, to be honest. He never told me much of his story. He’s got a temper like a furnace but has a tight lid on it. You must’ve really touched a nerve to get a reaction like that from him. I’ve never seen him that angry before.”
That was unsettling. And if that was just Jack laying down the law, he shuddered to think of what Jack pissed off REALLY looked like. “Do you know what he looks like?”
“I know he actually IS a Domin Jing – a male Kitsune – and a telepath,” Alex answered, “but that’s it. I don’t even know the color of his fur. I’ve never seen his true form, only his ‘Jakora’ persona.”
Daniel nodded and opened his beak to…
Then, he stopped dead, his eyes widening in shock. “Wait…when was the first time you saw that form?”
“The same day we met, which was 5 months ago. He’s been using that appearance for ages, since way before I met him.”
Slowly, the pieces moved in his head. “If he’s been using that form all this time, then he DIDN’T use it just to trick me…”
“Far as I know, you’re the only person he’s ever told that story to, but that doesn’t mean you actually ARE the only one. I’ve never met Jakora, but they’re obviously connected somehow. Maybe Claire could shed some light on the matter.”
Danny nodded. So, they had to talk to the REAL Jakora…simple, right? Not really. He could be thousands of miles away, he could be in prison, he could be dead…hell, he could be squatting in this building they were sitting on at that moment, for all they knew. Where would they even START looking for him?
~You could ask Jack.~
DA’s suggestion caught him by surprise. Jack…well, he WAS the most obvious person to ask, but why the hell would he tell them anything? Especially so soon after that confrontation? Come to think of it, though, Daniel hadn’t even tried asking yet. It was worth a shot, if nothing else.
“I’ll ask Jack about it later,” Alex suddenly said. Probably just a coincidence. “Worst case scenario, he’ll say it’s classified, then we’ll just have to look somewhere else.”
Daniel nodded, though he didn’t say anything in response. He gazed out toward the horizon, unsure of what to say next.
Suddenly, Alex sighed. “I’m worried about Ben.”
Daniel looked over at him. “When I first met you, you seemed like friends.”
“We haven’t known each other very long, less than a month,” he explained. “He had been tracked down by the rioters. They thought he was just another Mystic hiding among humans, didn’t even know what a Descendant was – didn’t give a fuck, either, even after they were cuffed and it was explained to them. Ben is strong under pressure – he doesn’t panic in bad situations – but the past month has hit him hard, he just hides it well. He opened up to me after he learned Draconic, told me just how hard it is for him.” He closed his eyes, sighing. “I haven’t told him this, but…I don’t think his parents are still alive. We haven’t found them yet, but the evidence isn’t looking good. It’s going to hit him hard when he finds out.”
Daniel was about to question this when they heard a buzzing sound. Alex drew the cell phone from his pocket, looking annoyed, and clicked it on. “Yeah?” He listened for a few seconds. “Alright, we’ll be back soon.”
“What’s up?”
“We’re needed back at the station. Phillip got back early, it seems, and there’s been a complication.” He pocketed the phone and rapidly stepped back. Daniel looked away as he disrobed and assumed his more-feathery form. With a squawk to follow, the Gryphon spread his wings and took flight. Daniel followed him soon after.
Jack had his arms crossed as the 2 of them returned. Luckily, though, his displeasure wasn’t directed at either of them. He was listening intently to a long line of dialogue coming from Phillip. He nodded occasionally.
Daniel unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man, but he kept his beak shut and anger firmly in check. He was surprised to see Phillip back so soon. Ever since the pursuit of Hiro shortly after they’d arrived, the Augurey had disappeared periodically, reportedly running errands for Jack around the city. They never went into detail on said ‘errands’, however. He was back unusually early this time, though; it’d only been a few hours.
The Kitsune looked up at their approach. His gaze narrowed at Daniel. “So, are you done moping yet?”
The Royal bit back a retort and nodded stiffly. “Yeah, I am.”
The man nodded as well. “Good.” He turned to face Phillip again. The bird was perched on a car. “Brocke wants you in human form during the meeting, Daniel.”
He drew a small vial from his pocket and Daniel stared at it warily. “Why me? I’m the least-experienced fighter here.”
“Security reasons, allegedly,” the man explained. “He provided a veil for you to use, but even though the potion checks out and is a perfectly normal human veil, I don’t trust it. You’re inexperienced, but physically you’re also the strongest out of all of us. He wants to remove you as a potential problem, thus he wants you in human form. . Brocke is known for his temper, but he’s also known for being stubbornly true to his word. He’ll honor the agreement.”
Daniel wasn’t so sure. He was an inexperienced fighter as a Gryphon, but as a human he felt…vulnerable, to say the least. It was obviously instinctual. He felt far more confident in his true form, more sure of himself.
“I’d rather not have you there in human form, it’ll be a pain in my ass having to constantly keep an eye on you, but Brocke insists that YOU be there, to the point of refusing to speak with me unless you are.”
Daniel thought about it for a minute or 2, then nodded. He wasn’t sure about Jack anymore, but he trusted Alex to protect him if things went badly.
Jack nodded as well. “Then get changed and dressed so we can go. We’ll leave immediately when you’re ready.”
Daniel was nervous, uncomfortable. He fidgeted constantly, eyes darting around. Alex walked at his side in Peregryphon form, sticking close to him. The top of his wings barely passed Daniel’s waist, but the Royal had seen him fight and knew he was tougher than he looked. The Peregryphon walked with confidence, his gaze steady and determined, the exact opposite of Daniel. His backpack was strapped to his back between his wings, positioned perfectly so it wouldn’t hinder his flying.
Jack was in the lead in his Kitsune form, the ‘Jakora’ one. He’d do all the talking – or, at least, that was the PLAN. Brocke claimed it would be a short meeting, a chance for him to see the kind of people they were and vice versa.
Phillip had flown on ahead to recon the area. Jack remained in constant contact with him telepathically.
The area they were headed to was at the northernmost edge of the city, a walled-in sector composed of about 2.5 city blocks. It was well-fortified and the state of the interior was any outsider’s guess, considering how long it’d been under the Silver Claw’s control. Before the fall of Camp Cambridge, this was a surburb, a residential area. Mostly houses, a few shops here and there and a public park.
Daniel tensed as they approached the main gate. There was a 12-foot wall blocking off the area. It was piles of junk, scraps, a chain-link fence in some parts, probably thrown together using anything everything they could find, constant patrols to make sure there weren’t any breaches.
On the left of the wooden gate (the gate itself was as tall as the wall itself and looked fairly sturdy) was an Ogre, a big one, with a club. The maul was more than half his size and, after a moment of staring at, Daniel realized it was an uprooted streetlight. A large chunk of cement was still attached to the bottom and the arch at the top had been broken off. Primitive, to say the least, but effective.
The Ogre himself sat at 12 feet, his head just barely passing the top of the wall. In terms of shape, he was actually very human-like: 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, standard proportions. A slight bulge to his gut, but chorded muscles in his arms and legs. His skin was dark gray. The club was propped up against the wall to his right and he made no move to grab it at their approach. He eyed them warily, lip curled in a faint snarl.
On the right of the gate was a Fenrir, guarding a smaller door. Unlike Shrrgs, Fenrirs were highly intelligent and sentient, capable of speaking Draconic with the right spell. He reached about 5 feet while standing, average size for his race. His fur, however, was reddish-brown, which was incredibly rare. It also didn’t stick out like spikes, like a Shrrg’s fur would. His blue eyes watched them carefully, though he remained lying down.
Jack walked up to the wolf, stopping about 6 feet away. “We’re here to-“
“We know,” the wolf cut him off with a growl, speaking Draconic. “Brocke is expecting you. I’m here to escort you to him.” He stood and, with a nod to the Ogre, turned toward the door he was guarding. He carefully used his teeth to turn the handle and stepped through.
Upon entering, Daniel immediately saw that this place was COMPLETELY different from the Iron Talons Camp. If he had ever bothered to actually visit Camp Ranelk, this is probably the kind of place he would’ve found there.
The street they were on was lined with well-kept houses, most of them 1-story. There were all kinds of Mystics out and about, including a trio of Centaurs playing basketball, an assortment of kids playing street hockey, a Dragon sunning himself on a front lawn, a pair of Goblins bartering – and that was just to name a few. This place looked normal – happy, even. Most of the residents didn’t even give them a second glance.
“It was actually pretty easy to get the human residents to leave,” the wolf suddenly said conversationally as they walked down the sidewalk. “I wasn’t here when it happened, but in the chaos of the days after New Year’s, most were already on their way out the door with their bags anyway. And as for the others…well, when a Minotaur tells someone to get lost while armed with a club, they tend to get results.”
“So, you just evicted everyone here?” Jack demanded. “And how many died in the process?”
“Look, I don’t know, alright?” The wolf shook his head. “I just know it happened very quickly, over only about 4 days. I haven’t been here since the beginning and things were a LOT different back then. These days, everyone here just wants their normal lives back. You try getting the people here to leave their new homes and you’ll need SEVERAL armies to even have a chance.”
This revelation disturbed Daniel. He knew there’d been a lot of bloodshed in the area after New Year’s, but displacing hundreds of residents in only a handful of days? There’s no way in hell that went peacefully. He was, however, curious about how many residents there CURRENTLY were here. He doubted they all lived in that apartment complex that used to be Camp Cambridge, especially with the number of residents in the Iron Talons Camp. “Where’d you all come from?” he asked curiously. Jack shot him a glare, but he said nothing. “You couldn’t ALL have lived in Camp Cambridge.”
“Nah, most of those Mystics joined the Iron Talons. I myself lived in Boston. When the riots started, I took my mate and kids north, ended up finding it was actually WORSE up here. Plenty of former Camp residents here, including Brocke himself, but a lot are from Boston, people wanting to get away from the Black Fists.” He paused, hesitating for a moment. “A lot of the residents, though…they’re from out west.” He nodded in that direction. “There was a harvesting facility out there, a big one. After a massive jailbreak near the start of the month, almost all of the prisoners there came here.”
“I know of those places,” Jack said, shaking his head in disgust. “Broke every single Civil Rights Law passed after the Emergence and committed numerous crimes against humanity. Human experimentation, kidnapping, torture, the list gets longer with every new one we find. Our Order has been trying to find and dismantle them for decades. Somehow, they’re getting better at staying hidden, keeping their activities a secret.”
The wolf nodded sadly. “I’m just glad my family didn’t end up there. I haven’t seen the ruins yet, but they treated Mystics horribly there. Luckily, one of the escapees was a fully-schooled physician and helps out a great deal.” He shook his head and continued walking.
Even though they didn’t go into great detail on the place, the visual Daniel was getting almost turned his stomach: chains, filthy living conditions, half-starved prisoners…
He was drawn from his thoughts by their arrival at their destination. That took less time than he thought it would. It was a large construction site where several large Mystics and a mage were building a house. The mage was using magic to lift objects into place. The foundation was already in place and the frame almost fully erected. A large bull Minotaur Daniel recognized as Brocke was carrying several beams over his left shoulder onto the site.
“Hey, Brocke!” their guide called out to him. “Your guests are here!”
The man looked over his shoulder, grinning at the wolf. His expression, however, sobered at the sight of Jack and his group. He carefully lowered his load to the ground and said to the others, “I think that’s good for today, gentlemen.” Most of the workers dispersed, though the mage remained, keeping his distance on the other side of the site. The Minotaur sat down on one of the beams and they approached him.
“You must be Brocke,” Jack observed. “You’re…not what I expected.”
Brocke grunted in response. “I get that a lot. What were you expecting, a throne and hunting trophies mounted on the walls? Sorry, but Charon already laid claim to that cliché.” He laughed humorously at this. “Ya know, I didn’t actually ASK to be leader. I had a plan after everything fell apart (in a time when most people didn’t even know what was happening) and people started coming to me. After a while, I just went with it and people listened. I guess I was more charismatic than I thought.” He paused and nodded at Daniel. “So, you must be Daniel, I take it? Been a long time since someone attacked me like that and walked away without a scratch.”
Daniel nodded, still remembering that night clearly. “You attacked my friend, I stepped in to protect him.”
“Very noble – unwise, but noble,” the man observed. “Not many out there with the stones to do what you did, attacking a Minotaur without hesitation. I can respect that. Ya know, if you were-“
“We’re not here to join the Silver Claw,” Jack cut him off. “You said you want to parley, to reach some peace agreement.”
Brocke’s expression grew serious and he nodded. “Down to business, then. But first” – he gestured over his shoulder to the mage – “I believe I mentioned a friend of yours being here.”
As the man approached, Daniel realized he wasn’t a standard, ‘human’ mage. He had the shape and basic appearance of a human, but his skin was pallid and covered in numerous wounds. He wore a short-sleeve brown T-shirt, blue shorts, and a pair of sunglasses. He looked…familiar, but…
“Wait, what the hell?!” Jack suddenly demanded. “You’re supposed to be in Michigan!”
“I was,” the man replied with a shrug, removing his sunglasses, “then Claire and her friends got kidnapped and I followed them here. That’s why I’m here, by the way, figuring out a way to rescue them.”
As the man’s orange eyes were revealed, Daniel FINALLY realized who he was and his anger sky-rocketed. “YOU!!!”
“It’s been a while, Avery,” Ethan responded, nodding to him. “You’re looking well.”
They were making good progress. With Ryder’s sensitive nose and ears assisting them, they managed to avoid any guards and other residents in the Camp. Skye was starting to doubt they actually NEEDED his help, though he did draw a few people away from their path, creating openings. Hiro flew overwatch, keeping an eye out for any SERIOUS threats inbound.
“Why is that bird helping us…?” Ryder whispered to Jess eventually, eying Skye warily.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s-“
She was cut off by a mighty screech, the kind only a Gryphon’s lungs (and a big one, too) could produce. The surrounding buildings shook with the force of it and angry shouts could be heard in the distance. Skye’s own heart skipped a beat at the noises and felt the same fear the 2 kids did. They all knew EXACTLY what those sounds meant: Shorak had found the 2 of them missing, which meant they’d just run out of time.
Jess turned to look back the way they’d come, looking uncertain. She must’ve been wondering about her other friends’ safety. Shorak was obviously pissed off. You didn’t need a translator to hear the fury in that screech.
Ryder whimpered. “Come on, they’ll catch us if we go back!” he said desperately, pulling on her leg.
She shook her head. “I have to know if Claire and Ben are alright!” She wrenched her leg away and started back.
Skye’s mind raced. This was going from bad to worse. She’d ruin everything by getting caught now. He knew what he had to do. He spread his wings and swooped down toward her.
Jess stopped dead as Skye hovered before her. He glared at her, his wings starting to glow. They started out as white, then rapidly dropped to a deep purple, and finally pitch black, the same color as his eyes. He screeched and shot towards her, talons extended.
He had no intentions of harming her, only terrifying her into running the OTHER way, away from her still-imprisoned friends. It worked perfectly. There was true fear in her eyes as she turned and fled. Now, all he had to do was chase her out of the Camp.
There was one major hiccup in this plan of his, one Ryder discovered long before he did. “Wait, Jess!” Ryder called out to her, giving chase. “Don’t go that way!”
Skye continued chasing her, thinking his plan was working flawlessly.
Then…he saw the shadow…
There was something enormous on the rooftops, leaping nimbly from building to building. It wasn’t until the creature leapt down to the ground that he realized what it was.
Jess skidded to a halt, followed soon by Skye and Ryder. He could feel her quaking in fear, too scared to even notice him perching on her shoulder. Ryder backed away slowly, though he looked more fascinated by than scared of the wolf. The massive wolf stalked towards them, fangs bared and snarling.
Silver had found them first…
…and this time, there was no one around to hold him back…
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Comments: 6
DerAnanasKing [2019-07-10 13:34:09 +0000 UTC]
I like how Daniel referes to his Griffin form as his "true form" shows how he has accepted what he is now.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wolfpup8384 [2019-07-10 00:42:52 +0000 UTC]
oh first it was cute but now its getting weird and verymuch against my character. hes acting way too mature for a 5 year old.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Arthas972 In reply to wolfpup8384 [2019-07-10 01:02:04 +0000 UTC]
I'm sorry about that I'm not good at having characters consistently immature, especially in chapters like this. I mean, Jess isn't even much older than him.
As a plus, though, he gets more into character after this fight scene coming up with Silver, when they're hiding from the rest of the Iron Talons
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bahogar [2019-07-07 18:36:34 +0000 UTC]
Interesting developments. It is one of those chapters where you get a glimpse at larger events, where you discover new places and new aspects to characters you thought you knew - I am thinking about Brocke.
On the other hand, there is another character that leaves me hungry for more. Let me explain - and keep in mind it is not a criticism, just me explaining my views so you can have a reader's blunt opinion
The conflict between Jack and Daniel seems underused. A bit like the one between Wes and Shorak. I'll just explain my thoughts on Jack, since I didn't really do it in the previous chapter's comments.
Daniel and Wes are both in a position where they only stay because it will be worse elsewhere. In such a case, a strong protagonist (those who we like to identify with) is likely to storm out out of sheer spite, not minding the consequences (consequences are fun). On the other hand, a weak-willed protagonist (who is here to make the main protagonist look better in comparison) will surrender and play along. Like Daniel is right now. But I would prefer it a lot if Daniel fought back.
Daniel was tricked into trusting a man who lied to his face, concerning his identity, his orders, and possibly a lot of other things. That same man who, as an excuse when he was revealed, didn't show ANY remorse, and instead blackmailed him into obedience - with threats of physical violence and extorsion, and finally by making Daniel feel guilty about his past.
As far as I remember, Daniel was offered an occasion to make amends (and Jack claimed to be the one who convinced his higher-ups). The money was a bonus, but I imagine Daniel would still have accepted without it. But demanding someone to act in an exemplary way, while deceiving him without a trace of remorse?
As a reader, it will take a lot of time and very good reasons to me to stop hating Jack.
Now it's not bad at all. This is wonderful, perfect fuel for conflict and a gripping story. It's just that for me, Jack is now irremediably one of the "bad guys". Like Alten, Hex's brother, in Freedom Pt.9, who was all cheerful and friendly and didn't hurt the dragons, but helped the Revealers.
Having Jack as an antagonist is a great plot twist. Thing is, it seems to me that you are not including Jack as an antagonist, but still as a "nice guy". This is what leaves me dissatisfied. (But perhaps I am wrong, if so tell me!)
If you really want to rehabilitate the kitsune, the best thing would be to get information on him. Real, trustworthy information on his information and why he deals with Daniel this way. (You can manage that with a change of POV).
Having Alex (or anyone) defend the man doesn't really help me picture Jack as a nice guy, but rather makes me doubt Alex. No matter how many persons will tell "but it's a nice guy", to me that won't make him any nicer (and this includes DA). That's because we, readers, need more than that to trust thim again.
And I think I would not like it if Daniel just threw the sponge. Jack has betrayed him. Why would we trust him again? “You don’t have to trust me, Daniel, you just have to do your fucking job.” But this only applies to Daniel. We, readers, need to trust him - otherwise he's an antagonist.
On the other hand, you don't have to rehabilitate Jack immediately. You can play with him being an antagonist who plays at being nice; there is a conflict between Alex, DA, Jack and Daniel because of this treason. There is a lot of potential here that I would love to read more about. Just make sure that Daniel doesn't simply give up...
But it is your story. You are the one who drives the plot, and you know where we are heading, so I suppose there is a good reason for it!
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CAN07 [2019-07-07 17:46:09 +0000 UTC]
Interesting setup! in both ends, as you said it will be great to see how this develops 👍
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