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Ask-DatAssDante — C'mon, Don't Be Shy
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Published: 2014-09-19 09:10:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 749; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 3
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Come on people, I won't bite! I'm bored and dying for some questions or something... Ask me anything!Here's the shaded version that I recently updated~
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His brow twitches a bit.
"Oh no, it's cool... Just... don't ever call me that name."
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"It's cool, it's cool..."
Mutters to himself "I really need to make sure dad doesn't leak those damn pictures.
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hmm maybe I should also pose half naked without underwear under my pants to see if I can get questions.
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"Hey, I had the decency to wear underwear this time, thank you very much!"
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"Mhm, I bet so." stares at his pelvis showing and his pants being very low.
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mutters "...G-strings are low-rising."
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"Try again dante, G-strings the side strings would still be visible unless your underwear was half falling down."
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"I may have pulled my pants a bit low. You want proof I am wearing something underneath?"
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stares at the other for a moment, before cocking a bit of a grin. "Yes, I do want you to prove it, pull your pants down right now."
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"Alright then..."
He laughed before slipping his pants leather pants down and letting them drop to his ankles, revealing half-pulled down undies underneath.
"See?~"
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"You want dares and asks huh? Here's a dare, I dare you to show everyone your cute little g-string dante." he said pointing down at dante's underwear as he spoke.
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Might I ask you to put a shirt on and be mature, sport?
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"Sorry, no can do."
sneers
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"Dante, if you do not attend to your immaturity, I will have to."
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"Oh please... what would you even do?"
raises a brow
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"Must you really ask?"
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"If you're implying you're gonna throw a shirt over my head, I could easily say that I'd duck."
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"Oh, Dante...there many a thing I could do, but I could never do it to you, my little diva."
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His face flushes bright red and his brows immediately furrow
"I THOUGHT YOU STOPPED CALLING ME THAN WHEN I TURNED 7!! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT AROUND ANYONE. EVER."
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Sparda covers his smile with a gloved hand.
"But you were so cute, with your face covered in your mother's make-up. I am sure that she took pictures and kept them."
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"Well good luck trying to find those... Can we drop the subject yet?"
Shifts uncomfortably from the embarrassing memories
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"My little child, I know where your mother put them, even after all these years."
Sparda grins happily.
"I am enjoying this conversation, my little angel."
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Groans and looks away from Sparda, grabbing a nearby towel and covering his head with it
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad...!! Don't you dare bring those in here or they're getting burned..."
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"It is quite an entertaining reaction, Dante Sparda."
He continues to laugh at his son's pain.
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"Oh shut it old man. Do you really have to call me by my full name when you literally just refer to yourself by our last name? Or should I just start calling you by your full name too?"
Sits up and takes the towel off his head, now baring a smug grin
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Sits down in a nearby chair.
"Dante, I have but one name. It is solely a human custom to name themselves by two. It was your mother's decision to use my name as your second."
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"Wait huh?... Did mom just make up a "full name" for you, then?"
His smile tilts into a frown
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"I believe so. It served no other purpose than to put on forms for various human reasons."
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"... Well damn. My life was a lie all along..."
Puffs his cheeks out
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"Hardly, Dante. It was solely for your mother's convenience that I took on a second name."
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"Yeah yeah... now I can't be cool for knowing 'the Legendary Dark Knight's real name'."
He crossed his arms and sighed
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"But you still have my blood running through you, which only two other humans have."
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"Eh, having demons coming after me every two seconds because of it becomes a bit of a chore sometimes."
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"I apologize about that. I understand."
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"At any rate... do you have any juicy secrets?"
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"Might I ask you to elaborate?"
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"Anything embarrassing I should know about?"
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He pauses and thinks about it.
"Hmmm. I don't believe I have done anything that would be of interest to you."
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"Sparda, dear, you know that's a lie. I can think of many little things that you've done~"
She walks up to him and pokes him in the nose.
"Do you remember that one night at the lake? Or how about that kitchen incident?"
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Sparda loses all composure and flushes bright red.
"I...I have no recollection as to the instances you speak of."
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Smirks mischievously as his eyes dance between father and mother, now just itching to hear what Eva has to say
"Kitchen incident? Night at the lake? What happened exactly??"
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"Ohhh, let's just say, your father is a hopeless romantic and there is a reason why I forbade him from ever entering a kitchen. He and the appliances seem to have disagreements."
Eva played with the front of Sparda's jacket as she smiled up at his blushing face.
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"What, does he accidentally get stabbed by a knife while you're cooking from hugging you?"
Chuckles at the two
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"Knives are not appliances, Dante, they are utensils. Your father had a fight with an oven and, well, our neighbourhood was evacuated."
Eva turned from Sparda and eyed her son.
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"Oh right. Wow, did he burn the whole house down and have the fire threaten the whole block?"
Cracks up
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"Potentially. I'll take my leave now. Your father can tell you all about it~"
Eva wanders away before either Sparda or Dante could stop her.
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"So dad. What happened exactly?~ Kitchen and late night lake issues? If you won't talk about one, at least tell me about the other."
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"Well...let's just say there is a reason that I never cooked you dinner and the lake was an accident..."
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