HOME | DD

Description
America's national debt is $11 trillion and growing every day. Neither Democrats nor Republicans show any interest in solving this problem. Yet we face an imminent threat of becoming The United States of China. Thus, I propose the development of a bold, new political party.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Blanke Party.

The Blanke Party realizes that ethics are at the heart of government's struggles. We also know that government mishandles anything that involves right and wrong.   The Blanke Party values ethics as a private matter.  Therefore, we don't let morals get in the way of making the most effective decisions.  It's time for big government to stop putting words in your mouth about what's right and what isn't.

Following is The Blanke Party's platform.  We provide Real Solutions without bastardizing the people's moral values.

-Establish a Journalistic Idiocy Tax.  News outlets will be charged for every "celebrity news" story, among others.  "Cute" stories like a dog calling 911 to save a family of 12 will also be taxed.    If reporters won't do their job of keeping people abreast of society's events, at least let the government have some of that profit.  All  Journalistic Idiocy Tax revenue goes directly to the national debt.

-Raise Celebrities' Income Taxes to 255%.   Vice President Joe Biden said it's patriotic to pay higher taxes.   And most famous people come off as America-haters.   It's time for our stars to finally let their love of country shine through.   75% of Celebrity Tax revenue goes directly to national debt.   The other 25% is administrative costs.

-Write a Balanced Budget Amendment.  Many state and local governments have balanced budget laws.  Yet, the federal government doesn't.  Still, the federal government needs this hardwired into the Constitution.   Any Congressman voting against this amendment will be assassinated by the CIA.

-Sell Nuclear Weapons to Iran and North Korea.  They won't know we sold them duds until after we pocket the money.  75% of proceeds go to military funding.   The other 25 goes to the national debt.   When the debt is paid off, 100% goes to the military.   It's a fine source of income that doesn't tax a single American.  Better yet, it makes 3rd world countries waste money they could've used to try and bomb somebody.  Effectively, America gains total control of rogue nations' nuclear budgets.

-Ban Penal Institute Conveniences.  Government at all levels could save so much money if it stopped paying for criminals' water, heating and electric bills.  If inmates want to be treated like normal, decent American citizens, they shouldn't have broke the law.  There's no reason why a child-abusing cow sodomist should get free TV when you have to work for it.

-Draft a Maximimum Skirt Length Law.  Adult women under the age of 35 and weighing less than 140 pounds will not be allowed to wear any skirt longer than mid-thigh. Sweaters may be worn, but shall be flatteringly snug.  Violators will be told nothing, but may find their income taxes a few dollars higher.    This provision doesn't add a dime to administrative costs: it will be enforced by community volunteers.  We trust the American's judgment of attractiveness.   This is the fatherland of Megan Fox, after all.

All women are exempt from this law when they wear jeans.

As the Blanke Party's war on national debt succeeds, expect income tax cuts across the board.  When the debt falls under 10 trillion, every American gets a 5% tax reduction.   When the debt reaches zero, we'll up the offer to 40%.   So join the Blanke Party today.  Together we can end the age of deficits, without ever hurting the average American.  We can usher in a vibrant new age or prosperity. One where we stop spending money we don't have; one where nobody's back is broken with taxes. Best of all, the Blanke Party defends your moral values by doing nothing to misconstrue them.

The Blanke Party. Because ethics are a private choice.

Description
America's national debt is $11 trillion and growing every day. Neither Democrats nor Republicans show any interest in solving this problem. Yet we face an imminent threat of becoming The United States of China. Thus, I propose the development of a bold, new political party.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Blanke Party.

The Blanke Party realizes that ethics are at the heart of government's struggles. We also know that government mishandles anything that involves right and wrong.   The Blanke Party values ethics as a private matter.  Therefore, we don't let morals get in the way of making the most effective decisions.  It's time for big government to stop putting words in your mouth about what's right and what isn't.

Following is The Blanke Party's platform.  We provide Real Solutions without bastardizing the people's moral values.

-Establish a Journalistic Idiocy Tax.  News outlets will be charged for every "celebrity news" story, among others.  "Cute" stories like a dog calling 911 to save a family of 12 will also be taxed.    If reporters won't do their job of keeping people abreast of society's events, at least let the government have some of that profit.  All  Journalistic Idiocy Tax revenue goes directly to the national debt.

-Raise Celebrities' Income Taxes to 255%.   Vice President Joe Biden said it's patriotic to pay higher taxes.   And most famous people come off as America-haters.   It's time for our stars to finally let their love of country shine through.   75% of Celebrity Tax revenue goes directly to national debt.   The other 25% is administrative costs.

-Write a Balanced Budget Amendment.  Many state and local governments have balanced budget laws.  Yet, the federal government doesn't.  Still, the federal government needs this hardwired into the Constitution.   Any Congressman voting against this amendment will be assassinated by the CIA.

-Sell Nuclear Weapons to Iran and North Korea.  They won't know we sold them duds until after we pocket the money.  75% of proceeds go to military funding.   The other 25 goes to the national debt.   When the debt is paid off, 100% goes to the military.   It's a fine source of income that doesn't tax a single American.  Better yet, it makes 3rd world countries waste money they could've used to try and bomb somebody.  Effectively, America gains total control of rogue nations' nuclear budgets.

-Ban Penal Institute Conveniences.  Government at all levels could save so much money if it stopped paying for criminals' water, heating and electric bills.  If inmates want to be treated like normal, decent American citizens, they shouldn't have broke the law.  There's no reason why a child-abusing cow sodomist should get free TV when you have to work for it.

-Draft a Maximimum Skirt Length Law.  Adult women under the age of 35 and weighing less than 140 pounds will not be allowed to wear any skirt longer than mid-thigh. Sweaters may be worn, but shall be flatteringly snug.  Violators will be told nothing, but may find their income taxes a few dollars higher.    This provision doesn't add a dime to administrative costs: it will be enforced by community volunteers.  We trust the American's judgment of attractiveness.   This is the fatherland of Megan Fox, after all.

All women are exempt from this law when they wear jeans.

As the Blanke Party's war on national debt succeeds, expect income tax cuts across the board.  When the debt falls under 10 trillion, every American gets a 5% tax reduction.   When the debt reaches zero, we'll up the offer to 40%.   So join the Blanke Party today.  Together we can end the age of deficits, without ever hurting the average American.  We can usher in a vibrant new age or prosperity. One where we stop spending money we don't have; one where nobody's back is broken with taxes. Best of all, the Blanke Party defends your moral values by doing nothing to misconstrue them.

The Blanke Party. Because ethics are a private choice.