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brokenfragilethings —
old wives' tale
Published: 2015-09-03 20:22:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 2607; Favourites: 96; Downloads: 0
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Description
opposites do not attract.me, with my soft body
does not want your hard
hands, fists around my
throat.
bathtub sunk, i stay
at the bottom and
watch peach bubbles pop
on my skin. your needle-
nails puncture the
fruit of me. suck the
juice from me. water-
logged, i hop on my
left foot. tilt
to shake you from me.
you are vicious and
sharp. the Anger. i am candy
floss, gummy teeth. the Sadness.
you lick your fingers
clean of me
drop my clothes
on the pantry floor.
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Comments: 38
This is powerful.
There's a lot of innuendo built into this, and in some ways it feels like there's abuse being dealt with, it feels like the speaker here is feeling extremely violated or robbed of agency.
I'm not a fan of capitalizing anger or sadness. I understand using the caps to draw attention, but the words are so vague, especially in light of the visceral and poignant images throughout the rest of the work.
I'd suggest, to be bold and suggest anything, choosing more evocative words for those two emotions.
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Don't fret, darling. Even after everything that you've been through, you still feel strong enough to share your experience, horrible as it may be, and you share it in such a beautiful way. You are beautiful not in spite of your transgressions, but because of them. You are beautiful and pure, a divine, heavenly goddess, and although you are a broken, fragile thing, you are such a masterpiece.
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This is incredibly beautiful! I can't tell what exactly I like about it, but it's very well written!
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i'm happy you liked it. Thank you!
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I hope to God this isn't based on anything that actually happened to you! ;_;
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unfortunately, it is.
it's very relieving to write about, though; alleviates some of the ache.
thanks for caring. <3
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;_; I'm so sorry!
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it's alright. thank you, again, for your kindness.
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thank you! i'm happy you think so.
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my pleasure.
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I'm happy you think so! thank you so much. <3
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Great poem! I had to show it to my friend and she thought it was beautiful lol
I feel bad for the sweet character who was sexually abused though~
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oh, gosh! double exposure, haha. i'm happy both you and your friend enjoyed it!
Thank you so much. <3
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that means so much to me. thank you!
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This really touched me deeply..
Beautiful work!
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i'm happy to hear it touched you. thank you so much!
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Wow. Just wow. I love the flow you kept through the poem by using the metaphors. Very well written!
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This is such a lovely comment; i'm so happy you enjoyed it. thank you so much!
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You're awsome poet!
Keep it up.
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Thank you! I very much appreciate that.
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i really appreciate that! thank you so much.
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thank you so much!
i hope your day is lovely as well. <3
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I don't know much about poetry, but I liked this! Congratulations on the DD..
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poetry sits differently with everyone, so it's okay if you're not as into it as someone else is! but i'm really happy you enjoyed my piece. that really means a lot. thank you!
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It's very interesting that the narrator is described in terms of literal sweetness (i.e. food). I can't quite explain why I like the metaphorical nature of it. I definitely know why I love the message behind the poem, though. Keep writing!
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I'm very glad that you caught the descriptions, and even more happy that you enjoyed them.
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. I appreciate the comment. 
That's the goal! x
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You're welcome!
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thank you so much!
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