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brokenfragilethings β€” seabones
Published: 2013-04-05 06:42:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 1443; Favourites: 52; Downloads: 2
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Description you told me to walk on water
but all i did was sink to the sandy bottoms
of the salty sea.

the brackish water stung at my eyes
and filled my lungs,
seeking refuge in the spaces between my ribs.

i remember barely breathing
wet inhales and slow exhales of the briny sea
through slightly parted lips.

my heart was lost in a century-old shipwreck
found through the haze of floating sand
granules that looked like dust in sunlight,
fingers wrapping around wood and forgotten memories.

i wondered if this was death,
ocean water pressing down on the hollows in my chest
world moving in slow motion through teal colored lenses.

you told me to walk on water
but all i did was drown.
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Comments: 81

brokenfragilethings In reply to ??? [2015-11-24 22:01:44 +0000 UTC]

oh gosh! i'm sorry you understand, but i'm glad to be able to write something relatable. :')

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J-Dragon-J In reply to brokenfragilethings [2015-11-25 01:18:24 +0000 UTC]

No, its okay! But you write beautifully!Β 

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MsGeekNerd [2013-08-31 17:17:12 +0000 UTC]

I do want to hear your interpretation but here's mine


This person has been complimented all her life and spoiled by her relatives. When they are sent out into the world on their own, (maybe their parents died) they start failing at things and no one is there to fix it, or forgive them, to fill them with complements and say that it'll never happen again. Then cold hard reality hits, hard. They realize now that they are no longer perfect if they ever were. Then it gets dark and depression sets in.... They drownΒ 

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brokenfragilethings In reply to MsGeekNerd [2013-09-25 01:59:35 +0000 UTC]

Sorry this is so late!

My inspiration for writing this was depression, so you were quite close in a sense! It's more along the lines of, when people tell others with mental illnesses to "get over it." Like it works. Like it does anything.

It's impossible, like asking someone to walk on water. What happens when you try? You drown. So basically, this poem is going through what it's like, to be told to get over it, it's like sinking. Like sinking because you trusted someone, and they weighed you down with stones and threw you into the sea.

That's about it! You were near. Thank you for taking the time, darling. <3

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MsGeekNerd In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-09-25 03:34:03 +0000 UTC]

I know the feeling.... But the funny thing is when they say "get over it" it means something else entirely... And that makes it better... Not ok but better.

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HollowSunsets [2013-08-10 11:08:17 +0000 UTC]

This is one of the most beautiful poems that I've ever had the pleasure of reading. You're an artist.

It's absolutely gorgeous.

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brokenfragilethings In reply to HollowSunsets [2013-08-12 04:16:23 +0000 UTC]

Oh my goodness!

I'm ridiculously honored.

Thank you so much for the kind words. I really, really appreciate it. And I'm really happy you enjoyed my piece.

Thank you again. (:

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half-pixieman [2013-06-27 06:55:18 +0000 UTC]

I love this

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brokenfragilethings In reply to half-pixieman [2013-06-27 06:57:55 +0000 UTC]

I'm honored! Thank you so much <3

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Sammur-amat [2013-05-03 16:33:29 +0000 UTC]

i absolutely adore this crazy beautiful and tragic title and poem!
congratulations on the DLD, lovely creature!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to Sammur-amat [2013-05-05 06:07:06 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow, thank you so much! This made my night.

I really appreciate it. C: <3

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Sammur-amat In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-05-06 17:18:50 +0000 UTC]

i'm glad to to know i've put a smile on your lovely face <3

awwh, it's my pleasure, dear one!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to Sammur-amat [2013-05-07 01:42:42 +0000 UTC]

YOU'RE SO CUTE OKAY

THANK YOU AGAIN! ;o;

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Sammur-amat In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-05-13 18:53:54 +0000 UTC]

eep! i believe that'd be you!

most welcome! <3

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camelopardalisinblue [2013-04-30 10:32:06 +0000 UTC]

Hello, I wanted to let you know I've used your lovely title in my newest Title Poem, 'your teeth leave different scars'. If you wanted to read it, the link is [link] - but this comment is really just to let you know how I've made use of your gorgeous title.

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brokenfragilethings In reply to camelopardalisinblue [2013-04-30 14:17:10 +0000 UTC]

Oh! Thanks for letting me know. I'll definitely check it out. I'm glad you liked my title enough to use it!! C:

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camelopardalisinblue In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-05-02 23:48:42 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome -- as soon as I saw that title again I knew I wanted it in there.

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arsenic-sea [2013-04-23 22:11:37 +0000 UTC]

This is lovely, very vivid. I love the line "my heart was lost in a century-old shipwreck" I have a fondness for wrecked ships, so beautiful! Nicely done

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brokenfragilethings In reply to arsenic-sea [2013-04-24 12:18:59 +0000 UTC]

This is such a lovely comment, thank you very much!
I'm really glad you liked it C:

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arsenic-sea In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-24 19:09:13 +0000 UTC]

you are most welcome

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the-solimnludic [2013-04-23 01:15:48 +0000 UTC]

This is lovely...it reminds me of a protagonist in this ambitious story I'm writing. She drowns herself in the end.
To me, this is someone that gave up too soon, someone with a tragic backstory just full of broken dreams..
I like the line, "you told me to walk on water"
...and I just picture one of those ships-in-a-bottle next to the narrator. I love the image.

May I ask, what is that beautiful font you used?

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brokenfragilethings In reply to the-solimnludic [2013-04-23 01:20:30 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow! This is such a lovely compliment c: Thank you! I love it when someone has a favorite part to something I've written. It makes my day.

That sounds like such an interesting read O: I bet you're doing a lovely job.

I really like you're interpretation! I haven't looked at it that way. (: It's very interesting. Thank you for sharing (it made my entire week!)

And oh! I don't, actually, know what it's called-- But the way I get it is by using < tt >
without the spaces, of course. (':

Thank you again for this lovely comment!

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the-solimnludic In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-23 01:43:04 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!
I wish I could've said more though, but I must go to sleep now.
I love that too!!

Haha, maybe...I don't really know...I still have to work at it. (:

I saw your interpretation below in the comments and I thought it made a lot more sense...haha yayayy!

You're welcome! And thanks I'll probably use it in the future!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to the-solimnludic [2013-04-23 13:12:17 +0000 UTC]

N'aw, you said enough! Thank you<3

And oh! Yours made quite a bit of sense, too! I love first impressions. (': But thank you <3

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the-solimnludic In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-23 19:18:44 +0000 UTC]

Haha yeah, I try to type what I thought first before I scroll down and become biased by conversations I see and say, "oh yeah, that makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking"...I tried, you're welcome!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to the-solimnludic [2013-04-28 13:52:33 +0000 UTC]

Exactly! XD But I do like hearing everyone's opinions, regardless, and yours was quite fitting as well C:

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the-solimnludic In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-28 23:53:13 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, that's always great, and I'm so glad. C:

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PaperbackRevelations [2013-04-18 03:08:29 +0000 UTC]

Lovely imagery, and then the ending is just incredible!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to PaperbackRevelations [2013-04-19 16:53:02 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! I'm really honored that you enjoyed it.

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KaitForest [2013-04-11 02:16:03 +0000 UTC]

the ending was magnificent, wow <3

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brokenfragilethings In reply to KaitForest [2013-04-11 22:55:19 +0000 UTC]

Oh, thank you so much! I genuinely appreciate it, and I'm really glad you enjoyed it. x

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momo-madness [2013-04-09 05:41:41 +0000 UTC]

this poem reminded me of a great image i saw of a girl underwater, suspended in the fabric of time where she can feel her life slipping away. i have also heard of a great comparison to drowning and depression before this, but your poetry really exemplified that feeling.

take heart in the fact that you can find solace in your words. you have a great gift and your ability to write resonates with the public on a deeply emotional level. xx

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brokenfragilethings In reply to momo-madness [2013-04-10 04:13:53 +0000 UTC]

This has to be one of the most lovely comments I have ever received!

Thank you so much. I genuinely appreciate your words, even though I'm completely undeserving. They're still such a pleasure to read.

I hope you have a lovely day! x

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momo-madness In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-10 05:00:16 +0000 UTC]

haha i'm glad you liked it :')

and pft, stop it you! your words are gorgeous, and i would be delighted to have an ounce of the talent you possess. you have a natural way with poetry, something that i wish i could, as of late, reciprocate in mine

thank you, and i wish the same to you! xx

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brokenfragilethings In reply to momo-madness [2013-04-11 22:57:30 +0000 UTC]

Oh, nonsense! You have double the talent, I took a peek at your gallery. Your words are so lovely, it's an honor to have you compliment me.

Thank you kindly. x

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momo-madness In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-12 02:59:28 +0000 UTC]

[link]

This is what your poem slightly reminded me of. I remember seeing this and being so struck by its similarity to depression.

Also, you are too sweet. xx it's my pleasure

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brokenfragilethings In reply to momo-madness [2013-04-12 03:03:41 +0000 UTC]

Oh, wow! That's actually a really powerful image.
I've never seen it before. But you're absolutely right. The first thing I thought (besides, whoa, creepy haha) was that it was a pretty accurate show of depression.

Thanks for sharing it! It's a striking image, oh wow.

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momo-madness In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-15 00:37:49 +0000 UTC]

right? i was struck with the gravity of the image when i first saw it.

you are very welcome, glad you liked it!

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momo-madness In reply to momo-madness [2013-04-25 02:47:28 +0000 UTC]

[link]

here's another one similar to your piece.

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momo-madness In reply to momo-madness [2013-04-25 02:48:45 +0000 UTC]

i think this one's more similar than the previous one because the person actually looks like he was previously walking...

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SolarumNyx [2013-04-09 05:33:02 +0000 UTC]

<3 i'm guessing the poem has something to do with depression, that trapped feeling you get when you're stuck in a bad phase and can't resurface?

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brokenfragilethings In reply to SolarumNyx [2013-04-10 04:14:48 +0000 UTC]

Super close! Definitely with depression, although I was going more for the lines of when people tell you to 'get over it' and you just kind of can't? You know what I mean?

It's impossible. Like telling them to walk on water.


IDK I TRIED LOL

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SolarumNyx In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-10 04:54:12 +0000 UTC]

nO BUT IT WAS GOOD YOU GOT THAT WISTFUL VIBE DOWN

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XxCrazyAppleGirlxX [2013-04-08 23:53:59 +0000 UTC]

i'm delighted this piece of beautiful poetry was featured.
i enjoyed it. thank you for writing this.

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brokenfragilethings In reply to XxCrazyAppleGirlxX [2013-04-10 04:15:16 +0000 UTC]

This was so lovely! It put a smile on my face. Thank you for leaving me such a sweet comment. I appreciate all of your words. C:

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XxCrazyAppleGirlxX In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-10 23:18:32 +0000 UTC]

you are very much welcome.
just keep writing!! o uo

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brokenfragilethings In reply to XxCrazyAppleGirlxX [2013-04-11 22:55:46 +0000 UTC]

Aw c': Thank you. It keeps me somewhat sane, so I probably will! Bahaha. x

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pomohippie7 [2013-04-08 16:47:07 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations on your DLD!

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brokenfragilethings In reply to pomohippie7 [2013-04-08 17:38:34 +0000 UTC]

I really appreciate it! Thank you so much. x

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pomohippie7 In reply to brokenfragilethings [2013-04-08 19:10:00 +0000 UTC]

You're quite welcome.

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