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Published: 2023-04-19 23:43:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 633; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 0
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I just need to upload this. I've spent far too long on it and the more a stare the more I want to work on it, this is fine. I went overboard on the first panel (top right) and I wanted to continue that level of detail for the other back panels but realized I would go insane. So panels two (top left) and three (bottom left) get gradually less detailed... but you know what? I don't care anymore. I'm happy with this as it is. Here is my Fear task for Round 16 of OC-Training .Flax tries to hide her emotions for the most part, and it usually comes out as anger (as seen in Anger ). This mostly applies to sadness, but can come out when she is afraid as well. But not as frequently. She has a big fear of being helpless after having many experiences where no one could help her.
I tried to depict various times she has felt fear throughout her lifetime, starting with top right, top left and bottom left (and of course, the front "panel").
Top Right: Here she is still a little kid, around 8-10 in manticore years. BMS has effected her since she was very young, although for most of her childhood it wasn't properly addressed. She would have occasional falls and be unable to walk for long periods of time. This is one of the first really bad instances she had, before this everyone just thought she was simply clumsy. Flax ended up getting made fun of by the other children (she eventually crawled under a deck since she was unable to walk properly). She remained there for hours until she was eventually found, all while thinking she was going to die or never walk again. After being taken to the hospital, the issue was diagnosed and years later she finally got a cane for days like this.
Top Left: From when she got her cane until she was a teenager, she would bring it with her everywhere (doctor's orders). But when she was about the equivalent of 15, she started bringing it with her less. Her peers thought it looked tacky, and didn't always believe she needed it (since some days, she really didn't "need" it). Flax decided she didn't want to rely on it anymore and stopped bringing it entirely. For a while it was fine, and she convinced herself she didn't need it anymore. Except, this one time depicted here; she ended up nearly falling after a long (particularly bad) day. Thankfully she made it to this pole to cling to. She ended up getting stuck there for hours (again) since there was no one to help her. She hadn't had an episode quite like this since her first really bad one and it brought back all her old feelings, fears and worries from that day. Flax eventually made it home safely, powering through her weak limbs before collapsing at her front door.
Flax's greatest fear, that keeps coming back to her over and over again, is being unable to help herself and (literally) stand on her own two feet. Her pride for much of her life has prevented asking for help because she doesn't want others to see her as weaker or helpless. She doesn't want to have to rely on others, and resents herself for being unable to fully function alone as her condition could always swing and knock her out of commission at an unknown time.
Front/Bottom right: This is her reacting to the series of notes and the necklace she received from Fortuna. Fortuna was one of the only people she finally began to open up to and was willing to ask for help when needed. It's that same fear of being helpless, she can't do anything about it and she's losing one of the few supports she allowed.
Bottom Left: This one is a bit different. This one is after Fortuna leaves, and is in a category of its own. She gets poisoned, and doesn't fully realize it. When she finally does realize it, all she feels is terror but can hardly express it on her face or in her actions. Thankfully Lyck had already noticed something off when helping her out of bed, even though she insisted at first she was fine. After she gets more and more lethargic in a very concerning way he rushes her to the hospital. Thankfully, she ended up fine; and barely remembers what happened after a certain point. But this time she's very grateful to have someone looking out for her and starts opening up to him more after this. I won't go into too much more detail about this since it creeps into spoiler territory
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Smodyl [2023-04-30 14:32:20 +0000 UTC]
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Certain-Oddities In reply to Smodyl [2023-04-30 15:38:22 +0000 UTC]
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