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Conicer β The Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee Cover
Published: 2013-05-30 20:57:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 3556; Favourites: 68; Downloads: 39
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Description
"It's like living in an Ipod!"This is a cover request drawn up for the story The Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee by FlanChan . There are points where I simply wanted to try out a specific composition or paint a particular landscape. This is one of the times. I think it turned out pretty well! Though the city might be a little perspecively unsound however (but, oh ow, my drawing arm!).
"'Are you happy? You know itβs your duty, right? Do as youβre expected!'
Twilight Sparkle lives with her friends in a technologically advanced utopia, where the happiness of everypony is guaranteed. There are no fights, no heartbreak, and no troubles of the past. Everypony lives in bliss.
Twilight and her friends need to rebel."
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Comments: 75
Living in an iPod sounds like overpriced and underwhelming shit.
I don't want in any of it.
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......... this story has been used to kill off all but two of the mane six.......... and all the other four characters died only by their only stupidity than any mechanization by the villain............
seriously dude, the story this picture was drawn for is bad. really bad when characters are dying because of a lack of braincells than their enemy and the writer's only concept of drama is killing everyone from the show.
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............. this picture is well made, very beautiful.......... it represents a sotry that embodies one of my primary vices with storytelling in general, and fanfiction as a whoel.
her idea was inspired, her execution failty, and her characterization short of criminal. she does not depict the six mares that stood against the shadows, she depicts a group of petty, souless fools who have the mental and spiritual strength of drunks.
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myeh, too lazy to read the 50000 comments you keep making that all say exactly the same thing
also I'm gonna go ahead and assume your reasoning for making multiple accounts to shitpost is so you can make me feel like multiple people hate the story, though I dunno what you would accomplish by doing that? Make me take the story down? Make a 14 year old girl cry?? So much for love and tolerance? Wow do you even watch the show omfg
1. what are your motivations here?
2. maybe your opinion isn't 100% right OOO:
3. why did you harass my friends about the story?? it's not theirs???
4.Β www.fimfiction.net/blog/331797β¦ <3
P.S. wow I totally appreciate you smearing shit all over my story yes I will take it down because one person doesn't like it so much even though there are 100+ people who love it omg I'm such a terrible person for not writing it to match your headcanon I'm so sorry wow can't believe I didn't see it before gosh
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snickers....... all this indignant rage over my criticisms of your story and what do you do? further hammer in my point. the betrayals there come so out of right field that is is nothign short of disgusting. rarity makes no sense. and there is NO explanation why.
i read that journal you did and i hve to say, you ahve absolutely no ground to stand on to be indignant about anything. your writing is just plain BAD. nothing connects to one another and just happens to happen. i do believe the one with the fairest critcism was in fact arzoo. you are not good at writing characters and it is literally like someone draws numbers to see who gets to act like a total fool.
most of all, you cannot presume that you, someone writing a fanfic, that people will take out of character behavior as any other sign than bad writing. in of itself presuming that is bad writing. justΒ because some people had so little experience with bad fanfiction that they could actually think these characters have any relation to the show characters, far from means you are somehow not at fault. it is your fault. and instead of owning up to mediocre writing and improvoing, you ignore and continue to fall down. i found that part with the fake pony especially insulting because it feels like a direct insult to people who criticized it. and all things considered, it probably was if you think people not making sense of your senseless writing is a sign of stupidity more than anything else.
your story is bad. it just seem more people are indifferent to it than outright hating it.
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cool man
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also saw your little journal complaining about the negative criticism... you hd rarity compltely betray everyone with 0 amounts of implying and or substantial reasoning behind any of it. how do you expect someone to react to it?
the reason why i get so aggressive with this is because you always imply that tyour critics are simply too dumb to understand rather than take into account that your writing is flawed and trying to improve. and you still are.
however i am not one to force someone to just stop writing altogether. this entire time i was demanding improvement but, if the story is complete already, nothing can be done. i shall keep silent till the end if i must. for that strange number who like your story, continue.
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myeh a few chapters ago it pretty much explicitly says that Rarity is suspicious but whatever. but what did you expect Emerald to do with someone who worked alongside her that she know was somehow working against her? extracting information is useful. besides that blog just meant in general because there hasn't been all that much reaction to the newest chapter but it kinda reopened old wounds (clever title drop to next chapter ahaha. okay sorry)
I'm sure I've said at some point that there are quite a few things wrong with it, but some things I just dunno how they're issues? maybe it's just because I wrote the thing and I know where all of the hints at everything are and I know what's gonna happen so I figure other people will get it, too. I guess I got so uptight about this particular story because most of it was already written and I didn't wanna have to go back and completely rewrite most of it, because that would take a ridiculous amount of time that I don't have :/
this story was largely experimental, anyway. I just wanted to see how well I could pull off a long adventure story that was dark (my first adventure story wasn't that intricately woven and every chapter was largely predictable, and I wanted to get away from that.)
I'm taking that as a small amount of support then? Hm, perhaps I'll keep going after all, though I have absolutely no idea how you'll take the remainder of the story (okay, probably not much different from the rest of the story, but maybe, and hopefully, I'm wrong?)
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as another critic of your story said. you have a poor understanding of creating believable characters, even Twilight is not a believable charactyer and apparrently she was the only real one there.
your oc has shown no competence in winning besides you saying so and giving her powers no other character in the hsow should have and CLEARLY ripping off kill la kill concepts and clumsily throwing them in there. heck discord himself had to dodge attacks.
your concepts are poorly thoguht out. this is almost Twilight levels of wtf, where the werewolves capable biting through vampires like fucking cookies are somehow at the disadvantage, when you stated the elements are far more powerful than her in the beginning and thus no reason why they could not have csat her aside and freed theri wiedlers. and with the clones' behavior. stupidity deaths are still stupidity deaths.
the worst part is that you actually thought out of character behavior could be dtermined as anything else but bad writing. and ultimately they still were badly written.
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lol that I "clearly" ripped off klk when this was written before I saw it, but drew the connection when I looked back on it
besides Twilight is also really overpowered in this, and this took place before season 3, so alicorn Twilight could have beaten Emerald in a flash. idk what the big deal here is
seriously she just used the dang elements against Emerald stop getting your panties in a twist about her not doing it before. it's not like Emerald ever gave her a chance to earlier
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meaning further reason why the regal sisters would ahve dominated her.
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uuuugh................ there is no way to get enough power to bind the elements of harmony. it would require a power far greater than discord and even Tirek. your oc being that powerful is simply contrived. completely so even.
here is he issue that many writer seem to not realize. a fanfic is in fact NOT unlimited. you have to actually create the reasoning for something to occur and you are still bound by certain limitations of the show. such as there is no way to bind the elements of harmony because of just how powerful they are.Β true you can take them away and hide them, like discord did. but when they are actign for the bearers there is no possible way to restrain them. perhaps they can be deterred, but they cannot be bound. c
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there's nothing in the show that says that they can be bound though? sorry if I'm messing with your headcanon about the elements but they were purposefully made ambiguous so that they could be however powerful you imagined, and I guess we thought differently. whatevs
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............. kay the reasoning was more bullshit than I originally imagined. her being a friend to her would not allow her to access the elementarmony. cause the elements of harmony react to Genuine friendship and bonds, not pretend ones that emerald would have used. you cannot pretend to have a bond and the elements work still. you need a real one. and it would not change what she actually is inside.
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they are far more powerful than a draconequus and a being who stole the magic of the alicorns and most ponies in equestria, though to be fair that second one was the power of the complete tree of harmony. would be a fair geustimant that the power to bind them would be ridiculous.
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....... i am not staying silent. i wanted to, but this.......... will only say the following.
if the elements of harmony could create five beigns, they could have simply awoken the sleeping element bearers............. its as simple as that. and have more than enough mojo to knock emerald down as the mane six used them to wipe out the brainwashing plague.
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myeh that kinda thing is explained in a chapter or two if I recall
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......... i have doubts. cause that is the simplest solution. and far easier than creating freaking life!
also how does entities made as base counterparts of the mane six behave purely against their elements?...... there is no reason they would act like this. and by the end of the day it is sitll because they were really stupid to begin with........ and that there is no reason not to just fly in an kill them............ or that someone with evil intnetions would not be incinerated by the elements of harmony the moment she tries to use their power.
like i said, i have doubts and they keep on rising.
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they behave purely against their elements because the regular ponies behave purely against the elements on occasion, and they're boiled down to the original's generalized character traits, so... yeah...
and besides there's no reason *not* to go in and kill them since they obviously weren't doing anything. Emerald likes messing around with people if you haven't noticed that.
And she has the elements on lockdown right now, so it's not like they can do that... Besides there's no guide to magic that says slowly growing extensions of themselves is harder than blasting someone to smithereens (besides, that's not how the elements work. The whole point is to find peaceful solutions to everything)
so sorry bout dat whole doubt thing, and sorry that you can't keep your word :/
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............ you do realize locking down the power of the elements of harmony would require ridiculous force, right? aka, something impossible to do as there is no known artifact that can match their powers. its simply logic; toΒ restrain a great force you need an equal and or greater force. there is no equal and or greater force short of maybe the crystal heart........ and it has a tendency of just killing things of evil so that ain't an option. heck the very series itself has that going on with what the tree of harmony does to the everfree.
it wasn't worth keeping i think. every chapter of this is incredibly flawed in execution and presentation.
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why on earth would you want to read a 80k word story if you hated every second of it and you disagreed with everything in it??
like why would you do that to yourself??
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..........what the hell are you talking about?....... looking through the comments and...... yeap thinking i am someone else......... again........ wait............. oh you gotta be fucking kidding me, you killed off rainbow dash after she subsonic kicked you oc? do you have any understanding of physics? there is no way that stupid unicorn would survive that. the regal sisters would have had the air knocked straight out of them. not to mention this means this ENTIIRE time rainbow dash could have assassinated her. all she needed was a knife and zoooom, dead tyrant.
also your reasoning you give in that blog is bulslhit dude. i have watched kill la kill from beginning to end, and even BEFORE we see her stabbed through the body, we know somethign is off with her. when she killed a three star uniform in one move, we know she is inhuman. by the time she is impaled we lready have a very damn good idea what she is and that she could not be killed so easily, because we already saw someone who was similarly inhuman, two in fact, survive those injuries. ther was build up.
you cannot use unknown badckstory to do whatever the fuck yo uwant. you need to build things up and keep them wthin the limits of the material you are working with. ther eis no way short of becomign an alicorn could she have survived that, and an alicorn would only survive because of earth pony magic and sitll been severly wounded.
i do not agree wit hthe tone but it is sitll true your story is bad. no matter how many people actually LIKE your story, it is bad. there are peple hwo will defend disturbing gore fiction with far more furver than your story is defended. so those hundred people don't really matter much when far worse stories are loved than yours and defended more aggressively.
......... and i repeat, i don't have a fimfic account. last time i heard yo ucan read on fimfictoin without an account. though all that little blog tells me is that you are unwilling to learn and grow with writign. my stories may not be the best but at least i do not pretend they are good like you do. you act like the flaws of your story are non existant or meaningless.which considering from what that guy wrote, you killed off all the mane six but the unicorns......... would say racist but you would have to be able to comprehend what the unicorns were to begin with for me to say that.
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if you could stop with the whole "what are you talking about I'm not that guy" thing that would be great you know
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........ you are dleusional kid. just noticed that someone gave a less scathing remark on your work on that journal you set up, and you were being a smug ass to him saying he was not smart enough to get it.
will say this..... he probably criticized it better than either me or thoron. and he is totally and completely right about the story. and instead of accepting your have no idea what you are doing with the characters, you simply think he is not smart enough to understand your story.
so in other words your are an ass to people who aggressively criticize you. you are a smug ass, which is worse, to the people who calmly criticize you. and you are so delusional about the idea that there is anyhting wrong with your story you seem to be convinced that the only answer is they are all the same person.
your story is not clever and there is very valid criticism given about it.
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Wow okay thanks for the insults
And no, I'm not delusional to think that multiple people with the exact same writing style, the exact same worded complaints, and the exact same sucky attitude are the same person.
I've said many times before that I acknowledge problems with the story (heck, there are a lot of criticisms in the comments that I do agree with). I was more upset about how he decided to do so on a blog about how I was really upset about /someone/ blindly throwing insults at me. (I don't really remember everything I said, but I remember most of it, and it didn't really strike me as a smug-ass-ish thing to say...?)
And yeesh are you not gonna answer my question about why you have a fetish for bashing stories for no good reason because I'd really like to know that. And not just on my story, I see you dig stories besides mine that really really don't deserve it.
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Honestly, why are you so mad about the story that you're going to such lengths to talk about it? Just leave a dislike, a negative comment, then got on with life, can't you?
(Also I'm very sorry Conicer that you have to put up with this for making me such a beautiful cover art. I feel bad ._.)
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think it is largely one half disappointment and other half having one of my biggest peeves poked at. the story had potential but the characterization is completely distracting. that last thing with pinkie pie is borderline unforgivable..... think that is the worse part of it all. you set up situations where, if the characters acted in character, the situations would never, ever happen. it also makes it an outright insult to the show and characters. you make them appear weak, and anyone who watches the show would know that they are not weak. none of these character would behave this way. not applejck, not fluttershy, and dear lord NOT pinkie pie.
you had each of these character completely betray who they are and treat theri bonds of friendship as if they are frail and meaningless............. that is the greatest insult your story gives. you demean their bonds as meaningless.......... bonds that made the the element bearers, defeated disrcod and nightmare moon, so easily broken?
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That had nothing to do with what I said -_(\
Good to know you still hate the story though.
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............as I said before I am just affected very negatively by the story. very, very, very negatively.
and the latest chapter made me facepalm violently.................. everything with it is off. the behavior of the reagl sisters, them no recognizing rarity, rarity not telling everyone hat hey, the regal sisters are there! let's release them so they can kick emeralds ass!
everything aobut this story is completely off.
.......it might work, might, if these charactes were your own ocs. you can make them ebehave as tyou want then. but no, these are not ocs. you cannot just make them do as you wish...............
and the trap here is sooooo god damn obvious that I nearly caused myself brain damage when the pseudo mane six fell for it hook, line, sinker......
them being stupid does not make your villain smart. dumb enemies just makes your own character incompetent because they can only win because their enemies are dumb.
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well ah
I'm gonna pretend I understand what you mean when you say there's a trap, because I don't really recall putting one in
Hmm...
also can you please stop harassing me about this story because it's really rude to insult me about it even after I block you and tell you multiple times to stop...
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shakes head. regardless, you should anticipate criticism anyway if you create something....... admitably mine is mostly destructive rather than constructive but i can't think of a single thing that could repair this story. everything is just a mess in it. honestly i have seen worse messes in story telling, but when it comes down to characterization, it is teeth grinding. cause i know in my heart if any of these characte had been protrayed correctly, none what happens would happen.
even you own oc. think about it. is it really that impressive when she outsmarts braindead oc versions of the mane six and the regal sistres, only winning because they are sutpid enoguh to let her?
not to mention you completely ignored one major factor with that whole brainwashing thing. You ignored that Celestia has the capacity to compeltely break brainwashing spells at will. She broke the want it need it spell, which is technically brainwashing, cast by none other than twilight sparkle.
in other words if she had been written competently, she would have simply flown over the crowd and removed the brainwashing.
your oc fails to imrpes because you had to deteriat the abilities and strength of the mane six and regal sisters to make her capable of doing anyrthing. or at least that is the only way i can think why. what happens when you don't write them right is your create major plot holes all over the place.
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Wow I'm sorry that you couldn't grasp the subtle nuances I put in that showed that maybe characters have motives that aren't being given away yet even though I've reminded you of that about three times now.
What's you're deal anyway? Just stop reading the story if you think it's so broken beyond repair. Why go through torturing me about problems that aren't even there? Move on already, yeesh.
(And, ah, just saying, your work isn't exactly stellar, either...)
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... i seriously do not understand you desire to write that insulting tripe. the stupid unicorn got kicked in the chest at high speeds. even if she was alble to catch herself, her ribs would be cracked, her breathing shallow. PERIOD. gthat is the real ending. she died from the attack, eibs shattered, coughing up blood. magic means fuck if you do not have the time to react.
your oc is an insult to the fandom and mlp, and so is your story.
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ooooh, forgot one part.
you made emerald live when anyone would have died........ i am fucking seriuos here, she was kicked in the chest, it would have knocked the wind out of her and left her helpless. she was kicked in the chest at extra high speeds as well. put simply, emerald would have died there, no exceptions.
the fact she is alive desptie the guarantee of death is because of incompetent writing and a feel that you had to kill off another character, further cementing your lack of aiblity for creating actual drama. death is not drama, interaction is drama. and rainbow dash would have killed lyra look alike right then and there if you did not twist the plot.
killing off most of the mane six has only made this story obviously a badly thought out fanfic and nothing more. killing one of two, set up the stakes, okay. but with most of them dead it is clear you are incompetent in creating character ineraction and drama. you cannot rely on them being the charactes from the show, you have to actually write them.
far as i am concerned this story is beyond bad. it is contrived snuff fiction. if it was any other character rainbow dash kicked than your precious pathetic villain, they would have died. but not lyra look alike, because she has plot armor that makes her somehow able to survive a fatal attack. dear god it is so obviousyl plot armor it just REEKS of incompetence. you are uspposed to hide plot armor, not show it blatant as day.
all i can say is either delete or rewrite the story, cause it is not worth time from either myself or you. you majorly fialed now with that little stunt. even the regal sisters would have been winded by that attack. lyra look alike would have been all but finished short of the impact to the concrete at the bottom.
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you have no nuances in that story. NONE. fake lyra is shallow and empty in characterization, her victories are non existant, you killed off all of the mane six buy the unicorns for no god damn reason, msoto f them not even being connected to fake lyra and arguably non of them short of rainbow dash, who you wrote as fucking dimwitted as ever to not even think of stabbing the bitch.......... that is just plain incompetence.
drama comes from character ineraction, and not only have you provided no character interaction at ALL, you killed most of the damn characters that acutrally matter! and mpost of them tied by being too stupid to live!!! what the hell got in your head that made you think that the beings that beat a chaos beast would ever be in danger to your fucking lyra look alike oc? in what way is your pathetic attempt at making a joker like more dangerous than those that came before?
only answer is because you write without thinking oftheir capacity, aiblities, and powers, and do extremely forced dark,dark, gore gore, kill all the characters cause I don't understand hwo else to make drama, ignore that the mane six could have pulverized my badly made oc so I can create a plot held together with gum, paperclips, and badly played out character assassinations of every variant.
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.......no he isn't lordofmyth dude......... I am. and after that last little bit of garbage you called a chapter, I am more royally pissed than EVER.
you fail at that story because nothing surpises me. you killed off pretty much all the mane six but rarity........... all of them like they are bnothing. to make way for your ocs, like I said in the beginning with fluttershy's death. even worse your reasoning for their demises becomes more and more and more STUPID.
with rainbow's death now, which pisses me off more because of your lazy writing and hamfisted misconception of what drama is (it is character interaction not death, obviously), it is clearly obvious she only revealed herself to emerald to get killed. she could have attacked her without saying a word and emerald would have been so alarmed she would have been unable to use magic.......... or oeven better, rainbow could have STABBED her when she tackled her. why didn't she? because hyou had to kill off the last non unicorn of the team for forced drama.. ..... don't lie, don't tell me if she came in with a blade without warning emerald could react to it. cause she couldn't. rarity could have killed her since the beginning because she is a badly, badly written villain whose accomplishments comes solely from you wanting her success than anythingelse
put simple you story is very bad. even if I ignore the fact that you are killing off the mane sixi for forced drama, which is bad fanfiction 101 to lord your characters over the actual ones, your plot is forced, the characters act like pure idiots, plot linles exist only to kill off characters, and thus all the emotion is numb, forced, and utterly meaningless. I lost any emotional connection when applejack let applebloom die..... and the show bless it, revealed that in fact she COULD have busted through that glass and made a run for it and survived with impunity against emerald. her strength is of the earth itself. her endurance is of stone. emerald could not bind a sister hell bent on seaving her own........ not to mention you made her death meanginless by making her stupid to beging with.............
i don't else to say. i have held my tongue this entire time, even knowing you were here..... but i can't any more. this story is bad and lacks both soul and caring. youΒ cannot epect to use the characters and us immediately identify and care for them just because they are from the show, especially when they all act like retards to make your oc look fake smart. so many other methods to use, so many justified reasons to think they would use them...... all ignored because you can't have the actual characters overshadow you oc.
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......wait, block me? then how are we communicating right now?
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I blocked you on Fimfiction so I wouldn't have to deal with your comments on there anymore
But apparently that means you're just going to keep complaining about it for no reasons through different means like you are right now
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......... kay i jsut looked at the comments you had on it.................... i guess i can kinda see why you might think i was someone else................ kidna creepy actually to have someone with such a similar opnion........ oh dear.
shakes head. either way, i am going with what i said. you focus on narratives more than characters, and you really shouldn't. the common thing with all great stories, or at least decent ones, fanfic or not, is that the characters are not forced into being out of the character so the tory prgoresses. the narrative hsould be worked around the character, not boll them over. if a characte dies it should be because they went into a situation wehre they meet theri deaths, not simply because you NEED them to die.
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you have literally the near exact same username, and you write exactly the same, and you came on here so you could keep whining about the story because I blocked you so you couldn't do so on Fimfiction
I'm not stupid, I can figure that much out, so stop playing innocent about it.
Now, for the millionth time, stop attacking me and my work even though it is blatantly obvious that I don't want you to.
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eact same user..... shakes head.
you know just because someone share an opinion with another does not mean they are the same peson. and if enough people go up to you and say there is a problem, then likely ther IS a problem
besides my account here is five years older than yours. if I just came here to torment you why would I have a si year old account here? shakes head.
guess you are a no ctiticsm type, which is kinda an unhealthy mindset. and I repeat; I may have a similar opnion, but I am NOT whoever the hell yo are talking about. you can't just claim that to avoid criticism.
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I'm not saying you made this account just to complain to me, as you probably were using it beforehand, but that you used this account to continue rambling on and on for no reason.
And I *highly* doubt there are three people that all happened to come across the same story, found the same things "wrong" with it, and kept complaining to me about it in broken english with the same nuances. Not to mention one would show up right after another was blocked/banned/etc.
And what you're doing isn't giving me criticism, as I've accepted most if not all of the criticism I've gotten before. What you're doing is harassing me through any means possible about the story because you find some sort of enjoyment in doing so.
I don't get why my story gets your panties in such a twist (yeah yeah it's "what you hate the most about fanfics" or whatever) and there is no way you can justify your behavior, so just stop and leave me be.
Is it really so great to harass a 14 year old girl over the internet just because you don't like her fanfic? Isn't that like the lowest thing ever?
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you're fourteen?
and there is a flaw in your reasoning here. i did nto comment on your deviant page, only on this picture. yotu felt the need to comment, and then start saying that i am for some reason stalking someone just because they made a bad fanfic. i gave my opinions and nothing more. and your latest chapters made me feel the need to give it again.
and let me repeat. no, i am not whoever you think i am. and to be honest? your story is not evne worth much time. largely the reason i did nto bother to try and give my views to you directly. i've said my peace, expressed my layers of disapointment and even disgust (really, pinkie?), and you have not once tried to refute my claims. true it started out more destructive, but i narrowed down the flaws and you are too busy just thinking i am some other guy so you don't have to acknolwedge those flaws. to not aknwoeldge the flaws is to not grow.
or maybe i actuall am that guy and for some reason i wanted to waste my time on a story that was not well thought out. this is the internet, it is hard to know anything. far as i know you are not even really the person who wrote the story and are acting as a medium for them. far as i know you are not a fourteen year old and instead f a jackrabbit or something. no real reason to knowing. far as you know, and perhaps more likely, your story has major flaws yet only three people have decided to come up and say it is bad.
either way. the only known truth here is that yoru story has flaws, and that most people have bad grammar when typing on the internet.
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......... what are you talking about. seirously, what are you talking about? i don't even have a account on fimfiction. kinda don't need one on it. just was not about to create an account just to bitch at someone.
hell i came here only because i felt the pciture was awesome but the story is just too flawed. you are the one who replied. and yes, i found you account while i was diong that but chose to not start anything, just gave my opinion on your story. why would i bother with him?
and about characters and nuances......... there is nuances and then there is just poor writing. what nuances emerald has, everything else is bad writing.reason why is you put your narrative before you characters....... that is like trying to bake a cake before you even mixed the ignredients. the narrative serves the characters. they re what is important to a story. that is what makes mlp so good to begin with. even if the narrative is lacking, the characters pushing it forwards are appealing. it is the characters that make a story.
you put your narrative before your charactes, and make them do things to serve it rather than work the narrative around the characters. where applebloom is smart and would be cautios enough to avoid her, you have her yell at the sociopathic murderer tyrant. where pinkie pie is altruistic and gets her truest happiness when she brings ease to others, you have her abandon all that for happiness she knows is fake. where celestia is a being who views herself more as a teacher than a ruler, you have her refuse to give her ponies a chance to grow. and when a character is powerful and capable, you make them weak and feeble if the situation you created cannot function otherwise.
kay that is my reasoning i guess. mlp' strength is that it will have the narrative serve the chracters. it does not force them to be anything else but themselves for the story to work. your story forces the characters to behave a certain way in order for the narrative and plot to progress. that is a dire mistkae. your characters are hollow becase they are not really shaping the story at all. you are, the narrative is, and they re just passengers and or scapegoats for the story to continue......... that is the opposite of mlp's strength.
................. and why do you think i am some guy from fimfiction anyway? that just doesn't make any sense. how would that work anyway?
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simply saying, if the characterization was on, it would be a good story......... and the characterization is so off it goes the other direction.
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i am starting to feel that this picture has been utterly wasted.
i started reading the story, and it was okay at first............... now it has royally pissed me off in every conceivable manner......... or to be hoenst one, major field.
flan has absolutely NO grasp on the character she is using......... none at all. last chapter she done had pinkie pie giving into the whole zombified thing because she did not want to be unhappy.........
if i could strangle this story i would........... dear lord, does she even watch the show?
evne on pinkie pie's simplest level, pinkie pie's joy comes from wht she can do for others. nothing brings happiness and contentment to her than bringing a true, true smile to another's face.
a spell that turns everyone into mindless happy zombies would be nothing short of a Disease to pinkie pie. that is noy joy, it is a falsehood. it goes against everything she stands for as a chracter. and of course flan decides, hey of course pinkie, smiles when othes smile true, pie would let herself get brainwashed. just like her character....................
flanchan angers me because she has violently insulted the show with her story. she insults the bond of the six ponies who defeated chaos beasts, changelings, and fallen angels by having their bond so easily shattered............... it irritated me with fltutershy killing herself, it enraged me when applejack let her sister die, and i am nothing short of disgusted with what she did to pinkie pie.
these things are not happening because of the characters. it is the fault of a writer who lacks the creativity to work through the true strengths of the mane six and thus reduces them to selfish, souless shells of who they actuall are just so she can do whatever she wants with them. this entire story hinges on her mischaracterization of these characters......... and that is just lazy.
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I'm sorry that you've been so upset by this story, but I'm probably the wrong one to talk to on this matter.Β Perhaps you'd like to discuss your concerns with the author, , herself?
As with almost all literature, this story is not for everyone.Β If you like, I can recommend a few fanfics that are more to your liking.
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.............yeah definitely being too intense there. however there is a different between a story not being for everyone, and a story just being badly written.
fallout equistrai is a well written novel, but it is not for everyone. it has a lot of unsettling situations and grissly moments, though i will not deny it is well written. characterization is pretty interesting all in all.
this story is fairly written in all aspects except chracterization.......... when you write another character there is some founded expectance that the charater would act in character. perhaps in a different interpretation, such as how character A would react in a situation she has never encountered, like being nearly killed or being forced to kill.
the problem in this story is that the characters are faced with situations where they act so agaisnt their character it makes me compeltely livid. the wrose so far is pinkie pie......... oooooh it is such a lack of understanding of the pony that it practically hurts.
the worse of all has to be the regal sisters despite that. not only are they sooooo veyr out of character by doing 'that', as it goes against their personal beliefs and behaviors, but it is worse because the entire story hinges this mischaracterization.
its not even interpretation of their character even. it is making a chracter alerady with distinct characterizaiton act in a completely unlikely way to further the narrative.
hell i am creating a fanfic where twilight and celestia eventualy duek it out but i am trying to create a path of escalation to that point and try to keep it in character.......... basically twilight believing in something innoccence and protecting it, despite the hting actually possessing great potential of being a threat. Celestia knowing first hand how dangerous the thing is and being forced to choose between trusting twilight, or trusting her own experiences and neutralizing the threat before it hurts anything............. the needs of the few, the needs of the many. celestia owuld never hurt tiwlight, not unless she believes with all her heart that twilight's actions would bring herself and others harm.
cannot think at what point celestia would condone brainwashing.
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ufnortunately i find the fanfiction lacking............. sooo many inconsistencies.
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