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RoC_Theory of Mind p29
Published: 2012-11-10 11:39:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 22712; Favourites: 615; Downloads: 0
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Brave Sasha!
Opinions, critique and tips are welcome!! Let me know what you think about the page as it comes to panels, bubbles, readability of the text, colours, composition, atmosphere, story plot whatever. Help me improving the quality of the novel XD
Cheederians are enormous felids; a horse sized mix between an Oriental cat, tiger and Eurasian lynx - see here some refs: [link] , [link] , [link] and , [link] , [link] .
Special thanks to , for the critical view on the storyline, world and art and the whole team of English speaking beta readers!!! I also have to thank my cats Jayto, Neo and Nintu, the many other cats, tigers, Eurasian lynxes and hyenas as models and of course all other people on DA who gave me useful tips and critique.
Art, Cheederian species, character and story by me. Please don't copy and/or use it without my permission!
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Comments: 82
It is really beautiful :Π
I love the details and the lighting)
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Ah, perhaps this is how Yves is going to get out of this situation - I'm sure he's very thankful to Sasha for trying to stand up for him.
Love how Thaldo seems as a character though - there's just something laid-back and nonchalent about him, I like him very much.
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Ya will see - anyway this is actually not Thaldo - he's darker and has his kinda nerd-haircut. This is Tsjaiko -another guy who tries to say something XD But maybe Thaldo will give his opinion once again XD
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Oh right, I'm very sorry about that - I guess I must have mixed those two up then! 
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Haa I see - good that it builds up tension hehe.
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Dayum, these cats are so lovely. :'D
And it looks like alliances may be changing for someone.
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Thanks!! Ha yeah - that is one of the important concepts of this story - that is not really clearly one alliance against the other XD
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Dem claws. They're coming out! Nonono, put those away man. xD
If I may put forth a suggestion, I feel like the dialogue in the second panel can switch bubbles: "They saved my LIFE" coming after "I had no other choice" because it feels like a more emotional statement. Saying the more flat, factual statement first makes more sense to me because saying the lines aloud, I feel its easier to go flat then emotional instead of the other way around; especially in the space of one panel. But this is just my opinion
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yeah - Nigras is difficulties to control his anger XD anyway the conversation appeared like this in my head - more like ...that he was given no other choice later en on. But I see what you mean - keep givign such suggestions/opinions in the next pages too
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Thanks!! Sure they are XDD
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Awesome detail, this is the most detailed comic I've seen! But, you made a typo: you said "ohter", when it's supposed to be "other" XD
But still, it's awesome!
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Thanks! fixed already XD Ha even though it's drawn on rather low resolution actually. If you compare with for exemple Off-White, which is drawn on A3 size. But I simply have no time for that- plus the fact that I'm the only artist of this comic ^^ But anyway good to hear that the art is appreciated
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Awesome!
Yves's speech bubble reminded me of the dream I had had several moths ago where my life was saved by a cheederian
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Really??? That sounds like an amazing dream, I'm curious to more details XDD
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This is what clearly remember:
<...> I was standing in a park. Opposite there was a white building. The park and the building were separated by a wide road. A group of cheederians were standing in the middle of the road and discussed about something. Then they vanished. I with my younger cat Sima were watching all this. Suddenly, I felt a danger. There appeared a crowd of people and began to run towards me shouting something. Sima and I ran deeper into the park and hid ourselves into bushes. I looked If they were still chasing us, but there were no sign of them. Then out of nowhere appeared Stian. And he was a FEMALE! He...I mean "she", was about 50m away. I started to walk towards "her". Then again people materialized and began to run into me and Stian from the left and right with spears. I become scared. But "she" began to toss them like rubberballs right and left. Then all that crowd disappeared. Stian looked at me, transformed into my elder cat Tima and happily trotted to me with her tail raised. I ducked and extended my hands for her. <...>
Oh, those dreams... 
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it's very nice ; )
you drawing in Paint Tools Sai? or photoshop? :3
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Thanks! Just photoshop CS2
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This is a lovely page, but I'm afraid it's kind of let down a little by the fact that there are still a couple of typos in the text.
Only little things, mind, but some people might pull you through the mud for them, sooo:
The 't' and 'h' in 'other' are the wrong way round, should read: 'I was given no other choice'
You'd probably be better off changing 'had a proper guidance' to 'had proper guidance' - the 'a' makes the sentence a little clumsy, unfortunately.
Other than those small things, this is looking very good! The majority of the dialogue flows well and has quite the professional feel, and the art, as always, is simply beautiful. I'm looking forward to seeing more of it, and seeing where this plotline goes.
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Thanks a lot for fixing those typos! I can read 100 times over a text without noticing typos...horrible when I write work for the university anyway. >>. But indeed a professional looks is may aim
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No problem β Iβm always glad to help.
From my experience, I can safely say that getting fresh eyes to look over your work is one of the best things anyone can do β when you work on something for too long, you start seeing what you want to see, rather than whatβs really there XP
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