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hereticschizoidThe Official Ode to the Forums
Published: 2004-10-04 11:57:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 13503; Favourites: 163; Downloads: 5294
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Description I can't stand to see another thread,
beating a horse that's already dead.
Do you like "s3ks" and what does art mean?
A poorhorse cult for illiterate teens.

The forum descriptions must be Greek,
or maybe the newbies only read 1337.
The Welcome Center to get a tour.
Thumbshare Forum for commentwhores.

'Deviator' no longer exists
(The Forum's still there 'cause jark insists)
Don't post there- it's useless you know
Read the thread that tells you so.

Elite ForumWhores: they're better than you.
Accept it now you know it's true;
If you see a lot of the Blank Stare guy
stupidity is the reason why.

For those with a brain that can't be found
watch out for curran if he's around.
With legendary wit and sarcastic replies
he cleans up the forums (or at least he tries).

We interupt this poem to distinguish
that "kewl" and "k@wa1i!!1!1" are not English.
If those are in your vocabulary
please buy yourself a dictionary.

Do you think you are a squirrel
instead of a normal boy or girl?
Do you have a tail and a buck-toothed snout?
please... just... get out.

"The reply button is your friend"
We hear this phrase time and again.
I think the problem could be solved
If we made the reply button 5 inches tall with neon orange blinking text outlined in fluorescent purple twinkling polka dots underlined 3 times with magenta squiggly lines all next to an advertisement for free beer.

...

'Course I'll take this to the Suggestions Forum
and soon you'll see a change in decorum;
but you'll be sure to get all your replies
unless the person has a seizure and dies.

On a brighter note, we've now got
an official poem for us forum lot.
So close your eyes and bow your head
...and think up an actually interesting thread.
Related content
Comments: 399

w3sr In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 09:28:57 +0000 UTC]

Great!

Lets make it the DA official theme song.

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hereticschizoid In reply to w3sr [2005-06-18 11:26:57 +0000 UTC]

LOL that would be scary

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w3sr In reply to hereticschizoid [2005-06-18 11:31:15 +0000 UTC]

Exactly.

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Starpossum In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 09:19:03 +0000 UTC]

This is one of the best poems I have ever read, if not THE best!!!! well done!!!

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hereticschizoid In reply to Starpossum [2005-06-18 11:27:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I'm flattered

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Wulfsbane In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 08:15:12 +0000 UTC]

Normally I wouldn't say something like this but... that was fuckin' brilliant! Haha, 2 years of forum lurking under my belt so I can definitely understand every word phrase mentioned. Well almost all anyway. My only crit is it's too short

This is something that should be hung upon the walls of the great forum halls of cyberspace. If there ever is one. Definite

Congrats of course on getting the DD I'm going to read this again at least a couple o' more times before I move on.

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hereticschizoid In reply to Wulfsbane [2005-06-18 11:32:37 +0000 UTC]

I actually have a newer improved version but for some reason this one was DD'ed It's the one in my signature. I like it a lot better. And the ending isn't as crappy. It has a lot more verses as well and I amended some of the parts that sounded forced or dorky or whatever.

Anyway thanks for the and the great comment

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Wulfsbane In reply to hereticschizoid [2005-06-19 05:51:07 +0000 UTC]

Hehe now isn't that ironic? You say it doesn't have a crappy ending but it ends with the word "crap".

I read it, it was lovely, too

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hereticschizoid In reply to Wulfsbane [2005-06-19 15:56:17 +0000 UTC]

I know I liked it better that way

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MattGAllan In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 08:00:22 +0000 UTC]

This made me chuckle.
And probably why I dont use the forums much myself.

Congrats on the daily deviation, Danielle. ^^

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hereticschizoid In reply to MattGAllan [2005-06-18 11:27:42 +0000 UTC]

Thanks sweetie

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MattGAllan In reply to hereticschizoid [2005-06-18 15:14:39 +0000 UTC]

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Regenstock In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 07:57:13 +0000 UTC]

Glad I'm a tigress and not a squirrel! This poem is funny.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hereticschizoid In reply to Regenstock [2005-06-18 11:30:36 +0000 UTC]

rawr

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doubtingthomas In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 07:56:57 +0000 UTC]

Most commendable. The reply button verse was undisputably the best, but the dig at furries had me in stitches also.

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hereticschizoid In reply to doubtingthomas [2005-06-18 11:28:13 +0000 UTC]

those are my favorite verses as well

thanks for the comment

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cheese-cube In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 07:48:34 +0000 UTC]

It's true, it's all true. Nicely done.


Oh and *curran

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hereticschizoid In reply to cheese-cube [2005-06-18 11:29:19 +0000 UTC]

thanks for the comment and the fave

And yeah the Curran verse seems to be getting some mixed opinions I love him anyway though *sulks*

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raspil In reply to ??? [2005-06-18 07:39:07 +0000 UTC]

wonderful! very clever. i like it.

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hereticschizoid In reply to raspil [2005-06-18 11:30:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed it

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ChroniclesOfRay In reply to ??? [2005-05-07 17:53:04 +0000 UTC]

That...is...brilliant ^^

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ViciousZen In reply to ??? [2005-05-05 17:39:25 +0000 UTC]

this was pure genius. The reply button line was absolutely kickass.
The whole time I was reading this, I imagined a little 3 foot man with a pink bowtie and tophat reading this from a podium. I don't know why though.

*+ fav* again, pure genius.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hereticschizoid In reply to ViciousZen [2005-05-06 13:07:11 +0000 UTC]

I've got a newer improved version that will be coming out as soon as I can submit it. It'll be in my siggy when I do so you'll see me around the forums

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Jupit3r In reply to ??? [2005-05-05 15:18:07 +0000 UTC]

Absolutely brilliant!

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crusader18 In reply to ??? [2005-04-27 04:15:43 +0000 UTC]

nice!

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hereticschizoid In reply to crusader18 [2005-04-27 11:33:46 +0000 UTC]

thankies

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Evil-Urd In reply to ??? [2005-04-22 04:48:54 +0000 UTC]



this goes to favorite right now
would you be my new idol?

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hereticschizoid In reply to Evil-Urd [2005-04-23 18:16:27 +0000 UTC]

sure thing

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Evil-Urd In reply to hereticschizoid [2005-04-24 19:56:28 +0000 UTC]

ok

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fancie In reply to ??? [2005-04-20 01:36:19 +0000 UTC]

hahahax...
maybe i need to get a dictionary

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hereticschizoid In reply to fancie [2005-04-20 01:37:30 +0000 UTC]

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sarahsoda182 In reply to ??? [2005-04-17 01:31:48 +0000 UTC]

Oh my gosh, this is fantastic! So well written, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The rhymes and the quirkiness really make it so cheery, as opposed to a blatant attack on forums. It's true, too, I didn't read one thing here that I havent observed or experienced in forums, on DA or elsewhere. (Especially the "for those with a brain that can't be found" part, people on boards are so mean sometimes..) Anyhew, I applaud you, terrific job here. ^___^

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hereticschizoid In reply to sarahsoda182 [2005-04-18 11:37:49 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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TaraTrigg In reply to ??? [2005-04-15 21:10:23 +0000 UTC]

Cute

I liked it, especially the bit about the reply button.

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hereticschizoid In reply to TaraTrigg [2005-04-15 22:07:51 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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lost-luck In reply to ??? [2005-04-13 04:21:56 +0000 UTC]

Only 63 favorites, this should be much more. I'm new but i like it allready.

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hereticschizoid In reply to lost-luck [2005-04-13 11:46:51 +0000 UTC]

thanks.

and I'm amazed it got this many favorites I only did it on a whim and now it's turned quite popular. Unfortunately I haven't gotten around to updating it. The ending's a bit icky and I need to change some of the other stuff

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lost-luck In reply to hereticschizoid [2005-04-13 17:55:59 +0000 UTC]

Maybe if you get it good enough will become the "Official" ode to the forums,. That's be cool.

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checkered-chick In reply to ??? [2005-04-01 04:45:30 +0000 UTC]

I love this so. This has to be one of the funniest poems I've read in a while.

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hereticschizoid In reply to checkered-chick [2005-04-01 14:43:28 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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T-Wiz In reply to ??? [2005-03-18 20:27:39 +0000 UTC]

Heh, heh. That was pretty good. You ought to do a sequel to cover some more of the forums' characteristics. The possibilities are endless really.

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Kitolia In reply to ??? [2005-03-16 20:46:22 +0000 UTC]

"If we made the reply button 5 inches tall with neon orange blinking text outlined in fluorescent purple twinkling polka dots underlined 3 times with magenta squiggly lines all next to an advertisement for free beer." So poetic, so heartrending. That run-on sentence brought out so many emotions in me. I laughed and I cried, mainly because of laughing too hard.

Greatest ode of all times. Though the second stanza is a bit awkward. No, I don't have any suggestions. Yes, I will mind my own business. Keep writing, I'm watching.

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hereticschizoid In reply to Kitolia [2005-03-16 20:52:05 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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hereticschizoid In reply to Kitolia [2005-03-16 20:52:02 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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William--Kain In reply to ??? [2005-03-16 15:21:22 +0000 UTC]

Now THAT was truly classic!

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hereticschizoid In reply to William--Kain [2005-03-16 15:46:13 +0000 UTC]

thanks I've been meaning to edit and add to it but I havent felt any waves of inspiration yet so I'm waiting

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EmaRyan In reply to ??? [2005-03-11 08:33:46 +0000 UTC]

so so true...

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b00red In reply to ??? [2005-03-11 01:00:21 +0000 UTC]

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maru-chan64 In reply to ??? [2005-03-11 00:49:29 +0000 UTC]

Absolutely hilarious. I can't stop laughing.
I think I have to add this to my favorites.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hereticschizoid In reply to maru-chan64 [2005-03-11 00:57:59 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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