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hippo2 — A different point of view - 1
Published: 2010-10-23 08:18:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 3590; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 0
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Martha’s shift at the hotel reception was nearing its end when a new group of guests arrived: a woman and a man in their forties and a teenage girl who was dressed like a punk. “Come on, Lisa-Marie!” the man scolded the girl. “Don’t dawdle.” Once he turned his back to the girl, she frowned and showed him her middle finger.“Oh great! This family will be a lot of fun!” Martha thought, as the woman addressed her.
“My name is Mareike Meisenberger, this is my daughter Lisa-Marie and this is my fiancé Markus Bayersdorf. We have booked a room for the weekend.”
“Let me check, please. Ah yes! Rooms 114 and 115.” Martha answered. After she collected the guest’s passports, she called for the hotel boy to bring them to their room. While they waited for the hotel boy, the family restarted their quarrel.
“If you think that spending the weekend here in the hotel would make things better, you’re totally wrong. I won’t go to that torture camp you want to send me to!” the girl complained.
“It’s not a ‘torture camp’ honey. It’s a really good boarding school for girls. I’m sure you’ll like it there!” her mother replied.
“You know it’s important to get a good education these days. You should be grateful for this unique opportunity!” Markus added
“Whatever!” the girl said. “As long I can’t disturb the two of you, when you want to have some time for ‘yourselves’!”
“I don’t like your tone, young lady!” Markus scolded her.
“So what? I never thought you’d pay so much for your alone time.” Lisa-Marie continued to taunt Markus. When Markus got seemingly angrier, Martha decided to intervene. Since her bonds to the lamp had been loosened, she was able to use her magic (with limits) for herself. So she did so now and hurried up the hotel boy magically. A few seconds later, the hotel boy arrived to lead the guests to their room.
“Go ahead! I want to talk to Lisa-Marie in private.” Mareike proposed. “We’ll be with you soon.”
Markus nodded and left the two “girls” behind.
“Lisa-Marie I know that you loved your dad. I did too, but he’s gone for two years now. It’s time to move on for the both of us. I love you, but I also love Markus. And since I met him, I hoped that you could get along with him, too. If you’d have given him a chance, he maybe wouldn’t have proposed to send you to that school.” the mother explained.
“If you love me, why do you favor him over me and send me away?” Lisa-Marie asked.
Mareike fell silent for a moment before she answered. “It’s not that easy. You know that you’ve been expelled from school because of your behaviour. I really wish that you’d understand the situation: It’s your last chance. And maybe some distance from us will do you good.”
Lisa-Marie shrugged. “Whatever! Let’s go to Markus...” she said.
Mareike shook her head. Together, they went to their room. Martha watched them with sorrow. She was lost in her thoughts until a hand waved in front of her face.
“Hey Martha! I’m here to relieve you” her co-worker addressed her. “Is everything ok?”
“Sorry, Babette. I was distracted.” Martha replied. “Let’s get to business. These are the new arrivals today...”
Martha briefed her co-worker for the night shift, then said goodbye and left for her lamp.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]
Part 5: [link]
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Comments: 17
Looking forward to more.
Again, love the inclusion of the "plant" in shots...
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Maybe I should add more "genie-made" pieces of furniture...
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It's definitely an artistic continuity that I've enjoyed. Also lends weight to the changes and impact that the genie powers have had.
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That's right! Normally, Martha's "victims" never appear again in the story.
This plant is a different story. Same with Stefania. But she had the big advantage that she could still play an active part in the story. And maybe, Stefania and Tony will appear again in another story.
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I feel it is always important for people/things to be re-encountered organically. Up until now, with the location seemingly pretty stable, I agree that it would be unlikely for the other masters to have popped up again.
I always put a lot of weight on "consequences" in a TF story, since there's no drama or tension to a TF if it can be reversed or repeated willy-nilly. Then it loses its strength as a part of the story. So NOT seeing the old masters randomly simply to include them is a good thing to me, just as seeing the plant and Stefania/Tony show up again in a reasonable and likely manner grants reinforcement to what has happened to them and the impact the TF has had. So, well done!
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The consequences definitely offer new opportunities for further stories. Take Stefania for example: At the end of her first story, she basically had happy end. But what would happen, if Tony would find out about Stefanias past? That was one hook for the last story. And there are more posibilities: What if Stefania will be turned back into a man after she lived several years as a woman?
For this reason, TFs that leave the victim human are more useful for a story teller than, say, inanimate TFs. Even a conscious object does not have much posibilities to make an impact on a story, except for maybe internal monologue or if you give it a way to interact with it's environment.
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Agreed.
One exception regarding inanimate TFs is someone does/says something secret around it/them not knowing the object can perceive, and then something does happen to bring them back, or at least allow communication...
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Exactly. I haven't decided on that point yet. And I guess unless I want to use it in a story, I won't make that desicion yet.
Another interesting impact of the TF would be on the genie him- or herself. Sami might feel much different about the victims then Martha does, since he was born a genie and Martha was originially human. There's a lot of posibilities for character developements.
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The statue in the background of the first story of the "Hotel"-arc could be the transformed Lorraine from "Martha Rocks". I never was specific on that, but it could be. Anyway, it was a nice easteregg for the long-time readers.
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Totally didn't make that connection...gonna have to go back and look. I guess we can consider my Fandom Card revoked, ha!
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I can imagine. Sometimes, it's getting difficult to think about new, original TFs without repeating yourself too much (and without creating too mature content). But have no fear, I have ideas for at least three more stories at the moment. That should bring us well into the next year.
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TFs can get tricky like that. Although I find myself satisfied if I can find a unique reason or take on a TF, even if the concept has been used before. Although, I do try to avoid even that in the same continuity. Glad to know there's plenty to look forward to.
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I've enjoyed your story so far, it's very cute. I'm a fan of genies and have a few of my own. Seems like there's always something for poor Martha to have to deal with. I shall continue reading so long as you make them ^.^
I'd like to offer a bit of artistic critique if you don't mind, some constructive critisism. If not interested, then stop here.
Overall I like your illistrations. They always convey the story so nicely. But I would like to suggest you solidify your style a bit. Mareike's eyes vs Markus', for instance. Her eyes have a much more finished look to them.
And secondly, I'd like to suggest you fill out your arms a bit. They seem a bit disproportionate and thin. My suggestion is to start working with structure lines and forms, and study up on the proportions of arms and heads vs the rest of the body. I think it would serve you very well. If you have questions or if I can help at all, please let me know.
I look forward to seeing your future works, and how Martha's gonna work things out!
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I've altered the proportions a bit. I think it looks better now. Thanks for the advice.
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Thank you very much for the advices. I'm aware of the points you made.
Markus was the first try to draw a male character with the typical male manga eyes. I still need more practice.
I also now that the arms could be a bit thicker and, above all, the hands could be larger. I'm already using a wodden drawing dummy and when I start a drawing, I'm sketching the position and proportions of the body with circles and rectangles first. But I still need more practice. Hopefully, next picture will have better proportions.
Thanks also for the support offer. I'll get back to that.
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