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InvaderIka β DIGITIAL CREEPYPASTA OC REFERENCE: Ally
Published: 2014-01-19 03:54:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 40413; Favourites: 421; Downloads: 79
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EDIT:// PLEASE LOOK AT THE REVISED REFERENCEΒ HEREBase (c) starbunnies :fav.me/d38r68q
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Comments: 428
x3
If you need any advice or help, let me know~!
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just give me a tip of advice.
Do all creepypastas kill and/or bad?
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Not all pasta's kill or be bad. Ally doesn't kill unless you trigger her other side and is neutral. Hell, she avoids killing xDD
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okie. Now I can start a sheet for her reference. 
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Sorry it took so long for this to happen. I've been sick.
First Looks
So upon first appearance, I really like the design. I am a tad concerned with the Proxy symbols here and there, but maybe there's a connection and the symbols have to be there. Personally, the overuse of the Proxy symbol drives me batty, but that's just a personal nitpick. I am cool with it as long as her story doesn't completely revolve around Slenderman or the Proxies or any other characters of that nature. But WOW am I loving that dress. I also like the hair and think the eyecolor choice is pretty interesting. However, I'm not too sure about the time period. I'm going to assume the clothes were from how she was raised or just personal preference. However, I am concerned with how she's portrayed. She loos like a very happy, sweet, positive, shy character who really wants to be loved, and this is supposed to be CreepyPasta. I get that she has a nightmare form, but I feel like, if she's going to be portrayed, her scary side should be with her, or her happy side should be cut out entirely. Against what would be better judgement, I'm going to let this pass.
Description
Name: Ally
Nicknames: Slender Doll, Ally-Doll, Nightmare Puppet, Victorian Ghost Child, Nightmare Bringer, Wind-Up Child
Age: 118 (Looks 16-17 years old)
So far, this seems pretty interesting, but one problem I have is the number of different nicknames. Due to the reoccurring doll and puppet themes though, I think I can forgive. The Slender does concern me slightly, though.
Gender: Female
Species: Half-Human/ Half-Unknown
Okay, this is where we may begin to have issues. She appears to be a ghost or a doll, so maybe that's the unknown, but the human confuses me. I only have this ref page, so I, going in, am left to assume that maybe she's half-human, half-demon and the half-demon allowed her to come back after death or maybe it had her born a doll, but this is really confusing.
Personality: sweet, childish, curious, hyper, bubbly, loving, caring,a little bit insane trusting, protective, schizophrenic , paranoid, proud, sensitive, bipolar
Okay, problem. Big, BIG problem, I hate to say. She has a lot of these really cutesy traits, a lot of positive traits, but then you see "a bit insane trusting" (what does that mean, exactly? was a comma forgotten?) "protective, schizophrenic, paranoid, proud, sensitive, bipolar" Some of these traits seem to contradict each other, and I feel like a lot of over-used traits are being used. Schizophrenia especially for a CPOC. I reccomend you be careful here. Tip: These personalities, again, contradict each other. Try to find some way to balance it out. Also, be sure that your research on these conditions is accurate. This can be the thing that makes or breaks your character.
Date Of "Birth": December 6th, 1895 (Date of real death and resurrection)
Weight: 120 Lbs
Height: 5' 4' (Normal)/ 6' 1' (Nightmare)
Either way still taller than me ;_;
Eye Color: Blue
Skin Color: Light grey
Hair Color: White
Physical description complete. Since she is dead, these colors can slide. In fact, I'd be concerned if they weren't these colors.
Powers/Abilities: Teleportation, Psychic Attacks, Black Tentrals from Back, Nightmare Form, Voodooish Control (Nightmare), Blood Control (Nightmare), Fear induced Attacks (Nightmare), Shadow Control (Nightmare)
Weapons: Poison tipped Pins, Voodoo Doll replicas, Surigical Knives, Claws (Nightmare), Chef/Butcher Knives (Nightmare)
I admire how some of these weapons and abilities are only available in her Nightmare form. They do seem menacing. Also, these weapons are keeping with the doll theme. This is very good.
Weaknesses: Electricity (Temporarily paralyzes her from the key stopping and can't move), Sharp Objects (She has human organs and can be stabbed and slashed), Fire (Skin can't heal itself), Emotional Stress (Causes her Nightmare Form)
You know, these are good weaknesses. Basically, without that windup key of hers in working order, she's useless. She, though dead, still relies on her organs. And no one performs well under emotional stress. Also, it shows that a character has limits - realistic limits. It explains why these things happen.
Strengths: Immune to poison and psychic attacks, Has a knack of picking up intruders within her area, very agile.
Cause of Death (Before Ressurection) : Murder by mutilation from a hatchet- being struck so many times that she was pretty much cut into pieces.
Dayum.
History: So little is known about Ally although rumors circulate that she is a ghost from an asylum in the Blackwood Forest. She has gray tinted skin like a corpse with faint stitch marks on her main joints, all over her body, and around her neck and mouth. She has an aged brass key on her back and when someone asks she responds "Its how I work." Known as the "Victorian Ghost Doll" from articles dating back in the late 1800's- Ally enjoys playing in the trees of her "home" and likes to play games with any newcomers that come in the forest- particularly Hide and Seek.
The asylum is a bit cliche, but I'm not going to complain. This is actually a pretty cool backstory. It's an old formula I can't get enough of.
She was resurrected by Slenderman after being brutally murdered by an asylum nurse as a 10 year old girl back in the old days. The cause of death was being struck with a hatchet multiple times and mutilated into pieces. Reasons for resurrection are unknown. She has a medical condition called Schizophrenia and causes to act childish and a little crazy. She is a living corpse after being sealed with a side effect of having copies of some her "fathers" powers when he tried to seal her soul back into her body.
Slenderman is also a bit cliche, as well as being at an asylum at such a young age, but I am now curious. I want to know more about what happened. Why did the nurse do that? Was Ally too much to handle? Was the nurse crazy? Was the nurse a murderer? The possibilities are endless! Again, the Schizophrenia is a bit cliche, and I am hoping that research has been done to make sure that the illness is portrayed accurately. I am not fond of the power copies but that's just me. At least it's just some and not all. Also, I'm a bit confused. She looks to be about 16, but died when she was 10. Shouldn't she look like she's 10? Or was the aging process slowed down? Was she changed when she was resurrected? These are just a few questions that should be explained in the event of a revision or at a specific point in the story.
Notes:
- Schizophrenic
As previously noted, this is a bit cliche. However, if research has been done, then this is redeemable. This may be a cliche for CreepyPasta OCs, but very rarely is research done.
- Due to her mental illness, she claims to hear voices and see things that aren't there. It also causes her to have a childish mentality despite her age.
I'm not too fond of the way this is worded. "Claims" makes it feel like she's totally aware of the fact that the voices and visions aren't there, but in a way that seems she isn't really seeing or hearing. Now, "is convinced" or flat out "she hears voices . . . " would make it look like she is unnaware that things aren't there. But what I do like is the idea of a childish mentality.
- Her brass key is the only way she moves around and survives. Its connected to gears within her spinal cord that are connected to blood veins, nerves and other connections to keep her organs and other body functions working.
This kind of detail is very, very, VERY important. It shows just how vital that key is to her, thus helping to stress a serious physical weakness.
- She only has copies of some of Slenderman's powers, due to the complication during her resurrection after being sewn up. These powers though are too much for a human soul so it has caused two sides of her mind due to aggravation of her schizophrenia - Normal Form (which is her human side) and Nightmare Form (Her monster/Slender being side)
"Too much for a human soul" looked to be going in the wrong direction. "Caused two sides of her mind" definitely seems to be a good move. It makes the Nightmare Form look to be a curse. If it is a curse, I am just hoping that it acts like a curse. For example, in most versions of a nightmare form, the character may lose control, but may attack only enemies and not go for friends. Granted, sometimes this works, like when Aang lost control of himself when he entered the Avatar State. Just be careful when doing the Nightmare form.
- Carries a comfort toy of a black voodoo doll that she hates to part with- take it away and she will throw a fit! xD
This does go along with a childish personality that she was established to have. Good. Let's just hope for the sake of those who take the doll that this doesn't lead to her nightmare form!
- Keeps her surgical knives hidden in her boots and her pins and needles inside hidden pockets in her over skirt of her dress.
- Carries around black thread and a sewing needle just in case her seams in her skin come loose from age or damage.
This makes sense. Very good.
- Her whites of her eyes will go black when she experiencing a very strong emotion and she can't handle it. Its regarded as a warning sign to calm her down before she goes Nightmare.
- She has memory "blanks" everytime she recovers from her Nightmare form. She will not remember anything that has happen during that time. She call these blanks "Black outs"
Does her Nightmare form remember these fits? This has nothing to do with anything, I'm just curious.
Nightmare Form Combat Tip(s):
- When Ally's key is pulled out, it causes the gears embedded on her spine to stop turning, making her fully paralyzed and unable to move. Also can cause slow death by simply lack of oxygen circulation from the blood through the heart. A side effect of this method is each time you pull it out in her Nightmare Form, it gets harder and harder to pull out each time afterwards.
This can pose a problem. However, in a way, this works out well. Only in her Nightmare form will it get harder, so that's good.
- Be persistant in combat- wearing her down into exhaustion or simply taking her down so she can't fight back is a good way to revert her to her Normal Form.
- She is not indestructible- it may seem that way but in reality she is more pain tolerant and can take more damage and more hits than her normal self.
I love the idea of tips for if one is fighting against her. It's almost like a video game walkthrough. There is something about that I love.
Quotes
-"Its Laughing Gas!"
-"Its soooo big!" (Ally's first time in the TARDIS from Dr. Who xD)
Why is Doctor Who involved here? That's just a bit confusing for me. I mean, I'm okay with this being a bit goofy, but it kind of takes away from the creepy aspect. Then again, it's Doctor Who. Doctor Who
-"Beware..the shadows will consume you."
-"Wanna play a game?"
These fit very well with personality. "Wanna play a game?" She's described as childish. This fits well. And "Beware", GOD I am loving that quote!
Other notes: This character has a few cliche points, but she doesn't rely too heavily on Slenderman. But what is done best of all: she is balanced. I cannot stress this enough. The balance between power and weakness is unbelievable. Very rarely is it done this well. I am not even kidding. I admire that very much
*I like this character
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X3
I smiled as I read this. Thank you thank you thank you for being entirely honest with me! This is good advice.
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I'm glad
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X3
Didn't know you liked Doctor Who?
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I'm only on episode 1 of Season 2, but everything I've seen so far is amazing.
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X3 yay another whovain! Tenant is the best doctor in my opinion x3
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Stabby:>QAQ> another schizophrenic?Β
(lol, it's so hard to write and keep the illnesses in mind XD i get mine so OOC)
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xDDD
Ally: Schizo-what?!
Me: Oh dear lord. xDDD
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Stabby: O-O ...nothing.....damn, you must be Β hearing things Ally
me:
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me:
Ally: ....Sie verdammen MΓΆrderin. Papa ist immer noch nicht glΓΌcklich mit dir.
Me: Ally! Language!
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Sally: come again!
me:*grabs 3D glasses and a bucket of popcorn* 8I ...*munch *
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Oh she looks beautiful~!
Gracie:You look wonderful love. I like your dress a lot. It beats mine..Β
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Aww thank you!
Ally: My mommy made it! Daddy made sure it fitted though.
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Thank you~!
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You get all my love ally-dollΒ Β
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-bows- eny time Β Β Β reaper: what a gentlemen. Β Β Β Β (Reaper is my oc)
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Ally: You look interesting ~
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um not be annoying but you put cheif knives not chef knives.
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Oh didn't notice that, thanks!
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cool backstory though
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Thanks a lot. Now all my OCs look like crap in comparison to this masterpiece. I hope your're happy. And I really mean that, this is not just the best creepypasta OC I've ever run across but one of the best OCs I've ever found on deviantart plain and simple.
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xD Thank you!
This really means a lot ^^
To be brutally honest- this is my very first CP OC I've made. xD
Ally is a representation of me. A little bit of creepy facts about her design can be find here: invaderika.deviantart.com/jourβ¦
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Amnesia and Ally would probably be REALLY good friends, due to Amnesia's (Amelia's) deluded mind (she thinks she's over 1000 years old XD) and motherly behavior and stuff like that 
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xD
Nice! I agree- Ally gets really attached to people who are like her mother <3
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I need to get her reference sheet up one of these days, after the Ally fan art of course
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x3 If you need any help, just ask~
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With the ref or Ally?
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Both maybe? XD
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I shall think on this, yes, yes indeed shall I think XD
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