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Jade-Pandora — Spring Haikuthon Mar 1-31 2008
Published: 2008-03-02 03:55:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 3976; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 26
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March 31 - haiku/senryua brief life
serenades from the reeds-
eternal spring
March 30 - haiku/senryu
start stop start stop
two squirrels hide and seek
to the treetop
March 29 - haiku/senryu
spring fever-
I cut my jeans
very short
March 28 - haiku/senryu
I trod barefoot
on the path
to his sandals
March 27 - haiku/senryu
hands trembling
I press his note into
origami folds
March 26 - haiku/senryu
waning moon, low tide
sand shifts from my feet
to my lover's
March 25 - haiku/senryu
the scent of rain
the scent of him-
one and the same
March 24 - senryu/senryu
at the zoo
sneaking a grope
by the python cage
March 23 - haiku/senryu
freshly washed hair
drying in the spring air-
I think of him
March 22 - haiku/haiku
bathroom window
moonlight
voyeur
March 21 - haiku/senryu
before dawn
he wakes me
in prayer
March 20 - haiku/senryu
moonless night
my lover's eyes
the only light
March 19 - haiku/senryu
I anticipate
his breath on my nape-
spring dusk
March 18 - haiku/senryu
cloudburst-
his clothes and mine
drip-dry in the tub
March 17 - haiku/senryu
blood oranges
pried open
bleeding down my chin
March 16 - haiku/haiku
melon flesh yields
green gourds hang-
afternoon banquet
March 15 - haiku/haiku
curbside run-off
graceful silhouette
the flight of a crane
March 14 - haiku/senryu
camp raid-
not a single egg
or raccoon left
March 13 - haiku/senryu
wasp nest
in my mailbox-
unpaid bills
March 12 - haiku/senryu
a tabby preens
on the porch-
ant queue
March 11 - haiku/haiku
daybreak-
empty and unbroken
a lone snail shell
March 10 - haiku/haiku
spring showers
woven boughs
nut hatchlings sleep
March 9 - haiku/senryu
cacophony-
returning geese
catch up on gossip
March 8 - senryu/senryu
sun bonnets in vogue-
a bee attends
high tea
March 7 - haiku/senryu
morning dew-
ladybug
reflections
March 6 - haiku/senryu
swollen stream-
bears' midday forage
the twins wrestle
March 5 - haiku/haiku
death rattle-
gulls loiter inland
from the last storm
March 4 - haiku/senryu
coitus-
two otters
underwater
March 3 - haiku/haiku
dream catchers
at dawn's first light-
cocoon remnants
March 2 - haiku/senryu
scalloped leaves-
a caterpillar's
overbite
March 1 - haiku/haiku
snow melts-
bones of winter
grin from the grass
Related content
Comments: 299
never mind. i'm not an authority on this subject, too am learning and having fun.
i'm really glad you like the prints. ain't i so proud of them too.
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The "personification" conveyed in #9 is intentional - the piece having a secondary influence of senryu, giving a gentle humor of a human quality - the riotous racket of the geese likened to a gathering of people.
i'm glad to see you visit me here to my humble collection of little writings - and thank you so much for your comments, for having some of these pieces actually be some favorites of yours. i'm always interested to see how people perceive my haiku "voice" as i learn & grow in the style. And thank you too for your support in that growth, dear one.
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day 22
eww it never occurs to me that mr. moon is a peeping tom.
hehe, i'm trying to read humor into your erotic haiku.
i certainly can tell you are in LOVE.
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ah, well... as there is no right or wrong in how one perceives another's piece, then yes i can see how you could find humor in #22...
and thank you so much for your thoughts on any of my written works, dear...
oh you can, can you?
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Hey Jade, your gallery is coming together beautifully so far! Since I have not commented in depth since around the 4th, I wanted to leave some of my thoughts about your gallery so far.
5th- This piece is actually one of my favorites so far. The suspense of the piece is felt immediately as the coast thunders in announcement of a great storm. The suspense is felt further through the birds…tensely awaiting the ocean’s fury. Very nice
6th- This is just a vivid representation of the new life ushered in by spring! In addition to the playfulness in this piece, I was also inspired to compare the swollen stream to the hearts of two lovers (swollen with love) during the season of growth.
7th-this piece is obviously beautiful for the image, but what drew me to it the most was the way you executed the form with brevity and awareness. This piece illustrates a clear example of the “zoom lens effect.” The dew, mentioned first draws my vision immediately to a tiny, and even transient (as dew is liquid and will thus evaporate) object. From the image of the dew, my vision widens only slightly to take in the proximity of the ladybug. All of this is accomplished within the space of four words. Nicely done! 
8th- Again, another vibrant image of spring! I enjoy the visual of the bee lilting between bonnets under the warmth of the sun.
9th- This piece incorporates elements of both senryu and haiku (which you have labeled…very good). Likening the boisterous call of the returning birds to gossip is appropriate because people would be just as eager to catch up on the happenings of the family after a return from a long trip.
10th- 3 lines-3 images, very nice!
11th- This one is another one of my favorites! This piece employs what I like to call the “spark image.” The “daybreak” and the “lone snail shell” serve as two poles. Being “empty and unbroken” is the phenomenon (the spark) that ties this into an introspective work. It causes the reader to first expand their sight to the rising sun, and then contract it to view this peculiar shell; left unbroken somehow in the hustle of daily life. In this way, it also (as haiku should in my opinion) cause the reader to ask questions. Nice!
12th- I love this image…the simple state of “being” by the creatures in this one are also (to me) very important in haiku. Both the tabby and the ants exist here in a state of blissful awareness…being completely absorbed in the present moment. Beautiful!!
13th- this one is intriguing because there can be a few different takes on the image. From the most obvious standpoint, the nest can be metaphorical, representing bills that may be high or even overdue. However, the image could also be taken literally; the first thought after the initial shock of seeing the nest being “I need to find a way to get my bills without being stung.” Interesting
14th- I like the humor of this piece; masked bandits vanishing before the dawn. Nice combination of haiku/senryu elements.
15th- This conjures the image of the bird’s shadow running over the concrete edge with the rainwater. Very nice!
March 16th/17th- I will comment on these together because they seem to represent two distinct approaches to sexuality. In the 16th, the soft green of the gourds offers the image of a gentle lovemaking (as green is a calming color). The melons also “yield,” giving way to the gentle push of the lover. Even the use of “afternoon” implies a calm interlude between lovers in the shade. In contrast, the 17th evokes images of rich reds, and deep colors of a wild and primal earth. Likewise, the lovemaking here is intense, with the blood oranges “
As I said Jade, you have become quite skilled…I look forward to the rest of your works for the spring bash!
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tasty and yet - horrifying too. Blood oranges, who dreamed up such a fruit.
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i believe they are originally from Africa - and they taste wonderful - the eating of them meant to be a sensual act...
not meant to horrify.
still, i hope you enjoyed my little #17.
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i should clarify that the eating of them in my #17 is meant to be a sensual act
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Ah yes, I had surmised that...^_^
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me too!
thank you for your comment!
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A pleasure 
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ohhh so do i, so do i. i'm way behind on comments to the other participants of the haikuthon - but i intend to visit them all with my show of support & appreciation.
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#17? ah thank you - it's a piece with a stronger feel.
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LOVE
todays
blood oranges and bleeding
fantastic imagery
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Thank you so much for seeing #17's vision
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An afternoon Banquet indeed. Makes me want to go to the farmer's market.
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Wow, now I can see you're an expert on this... no fair!
wasp nest
in my mailbox-
unpaid bills
Be careful! They have stings!
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ahh... none of us are expert. i wrote a bit of haiku years before, and didn't really know how, i just knew i loved the style. Actually i started to earnestly write haiku a mere five months ago right here at dA in my first seasonal challenge (called the autumn haikuwrimo, Oct 07). Since then i've been studying & learning while still making sure i keep my own style and "voice". You'll see when this haikuthon is over that my spring collection has change of theme within the spring theme itself - all in homage for a time-honored yet evolving Japanese poetic form.
So thank you so much for coming by to enjoy my little writings, and for thinking i'm not a beginner!
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You're very welcome!
Yes, I'm enjoying writing haiku too - however, I first started writing prose, so this style is quite the opposite: such a small piece of work, words must be carefully thought so they can be able to say everything they want to communicate!
And nature plays a big role on haiku as well. It's interesting that you referred the passing of the season... seems like haiku is a great way to attune with Mother Earth's cycles as well!
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Writing prose is a method to tell a story, usually in broad terms, whereas...
writing haiku is to describe moments in time, usually accompanied by a "kigo" (seasonal word or phrase) or an implication to a season. As you've seen in different collections, a haiku can be about the most mundane/ordinary of gestures, actions, observations - and if a kigo is used, it will set the subject within a season that it takes place.
And yes - thoughtful words - keeping to the brevity of the piece. This, to me, helps the "haijin" (the author of haiku) to adhere to the exquisiteness of the moment - allowing the reader to experience his/her own exploration of imagery.
Haiku is embraced as a way for the everyman/woman to relate to the world around us in ways most people understand from their own life's experience. Not just a fantasy.
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The most recent is really beautiful. Very nice juxtaposition.
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On behalf of #15 - thank you.
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#15?...i feel a little lost ^_^
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the haiku for March 15th
that's the one you commented on - about the crane?
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yes...in the run off water...whew...loved that one a lot!
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then i thank you again, for how perfectly you have perceived this!
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I like the humour of #14 very much.
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i'm really so glad that you do - it's one of my favorites as far as the humor. you obviously have made the raccoon/egg connection
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Oh my gosh, Jade, your haiku have improved so much, so quickly! March 2 is my favourite so far; very creative and original.
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Kera - thank you so very much for your kindness & enthusiasm towards my little collection. i imagined you smiling when you read #2, as it made me smile when i wrote it.
We are almost halfway into the month and the haikuthon - can you imagine what awaits us all in the wonderments that are yet to come!
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You're very welcome.
I can't believe the month is already half over! You've all done a great job so far. It feels very odd to be taking a backseat and watching the others write this time around, but it's also nice to see everyone else's accomplishments without the pressure of uploading your own.
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We're leaving on a trip today, so I won't be able to comment on much…but I just had to say something, jade-pandora
I'm a bit late coming into this, but I wanted to say that the overall feel to these are...they're very sublime, very.....gentle, but with a soft kind of privilege. That they speak about the smaller things in life and make them so important! I guess that is what a Haijin does, though, huh? :giggles:
I am moved after reading these...I read them and look at my life and wonder, how many things have passed me by already? Something that seemed insignificant, but would have given me a whole different view in that particular situation?
I am touched by your simplicity...these are, all of them, little masterpieces : )
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You are so kind to say even this inspite of your imminent departure on a trip!
i'm terribly honored by your impression of my works so soon after starting your journey of my gallery.
And i wouldn't grieve for what has gone before, but rejoice with this first day of your realizations - and observe with this new knowledge starting now.
In fact, when you return from your trip, i hope you can regale me (and others) with all that was opened to your third eye's new-found vision!
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Greetings from on-my-trip, Jade Pandora! Once again I am short for time. I wanted to say that I am the one who should be honored, just by reading your poetry. You're a natural master. --I don't try to flatter, so when I say things like this, I mean it
I haven't been writing much on this trip, sadly...but am inspired inside my soul instead of inside my hands. I'm visiting the Yakima area in Washington, state; it's beautiful here--I wish I could show you. The sky turns brilliant red at night, a unnatural red from the sprays they spray on the trees---and the trees! The trees! Apples and pears and hop-vines, all being prepared for the spring. It's a real paradise, albeit a bit dry.
Wishing you the best, Jade. Take care. I will comment again, more, when I have the time. I get to babysit my niece tonight--wish me luck!
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thank you so much dear - you're so kind to one you only just recently were made aware of by someone who is himself quite special.
i hope your trip was wonderful - i'll see you later then.
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Aw, thanks Jade; I'm just being me, though ^_^.
I am so happy to have met you and your friend Laurence--even though we don't know each other personally or very deeply, I like to consider you two very important people in my life--not just as inspiration, but as good people to get to know more and more each day.
I am back from my trip, hurrah! I will try to comment more now!
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Your haiku just keep getting better! I really like 11 and 13, but they're all great.
Oh, and #7 is particularly nice!
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i'm most grateful for the way you are able to enjoy my little humble offerings - thank you so much!
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I just notixce how you label your haiku. What is the difference between a haiku/senryu and a senryu/senryu?
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To keep it very basic:
haiku: natural, observational, dramatic, concise (brevity).
senryu: also concise, but can use human traits and emotions (which includes & considers both subtleties and extremes of humor, satire, sadness - all the way to the darker side)- even displayed in animals and other subjects & objects of nature.
That being said, there is often a blur between the two styles, and sometimes a distinct style stands out. So, depending on how each piece displays a dominance and/or a secondary influence between haiku & senryu, the piece could be thought of accordingly (with the first being primary, the second being um - secondary
1: haiku/haiku
2: haiku/senryu
3: senryu/haiku
4: senryu/senryu
This is something i've recently been studying and it's also my first time explaining it in writing so that's why i've kept it simple.
At least i hope it's simple - and that you'll continue to enjoy the progression of my spring collection - and to strive on your own collection as i'm looking forward to see how you do as each day graces us with new treasures.
If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask.
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Thankyou for that information. It is a fascinating subject. I am sure a lot of mine are senryu but I just call everything haiku so I don't have to think too much!
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Well... please read the information over and let it sink in, internalize it...
and know that, in my humble opinion, most of the haiku in your haikuthon spring collection (so far) are haiku - with some containing a flavor of senryu. if you mean other haiku in your gallery, perhaps i can peruse the rest and i can note you my thoughts. not my decision - that is more up to you once you learn more because it's not always obvious which is which even within a single piece.
onward in the haikuthon - we are all learning more as the month progresses - and at the end, all who finish - will have been changed in one way or another - all to the good.
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I got rid of all my old haiku from my gallery last year when I temporarily left DA, but I did keep copies for myself.
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will late-comings (to your gallery) never see them?
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Maybe I'll re-submit some down the road.
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oh yes yes - please do!
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I love the newest edition! "Wasp nest" - what a clever way to describe bills.
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