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jeremy3 β CMC everfree epilog 01en
Published: 2018-06-20 09:08:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 6561; Favourites: 68; Downloads: 25
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Description
Here come the CMC epilog for who want to know if the favorite fillies of equestria are ok or sort of.ΒReturn to a black line art too, because it's really more easy.Β
As always, please tell me if you thind english mistake.
Thanks to:
mustlovefrogs.deviantart.com/
firefox195.deviantart.com/
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Comments: 26
π: 1 β©: 0
Come on, Sweetie, do we need to put a cone of shame on you too?
π: 0 β©: 0
I can offer a minor corrections if you want.
Namely in panel 1 Applejack's line would flow better as "Did you get that Apple Bloom? The doctor said, no going out for a month!"
And in the last panel when Rarity is talking about the forest it should be "the forest"
"This forest" implies that they are in the forest or in line of sight of it so the speaker can be pointing at it.
π: 0 β©: 1
Thank you, I will change it tomorow.Β
π: 0 β©: 0
Use your hooves? As a lower earth pony? For the love of Celestia Rarity.
π: 0 β©: 0
A new way to break your horn is to overuse magic? That's interesting.
π: 0 β©: 1
Yes, I see that that way, if a horn is like a bone, and magic like energy, if she overuse magic too much she could broke it by burning her horn !Β
Β
π: 0 β©: 1
Interesting, in the movie though if you know which, you don't need a horn or if you have a broken horn, magic can be used still, powerful, unstable but controllable.
π: 0 β©: 1
Yes I see it, Tempest was Γ really interesting character, very acrobatic, loved her quest for restoring her horn.π
Finally it's better to have a not broken horn.
π: 0 β©: 0
And most of them deserve it!Β
π: 0 β©: 0
At least they are alive they are going to have to rest for a while, can't wait for the next page.
π: 0 β©: 1
I really don't wanted to kill one of them.Β
Next part in second week of next month, i'm going on vacancy!Β
π: 0 β©: 0
they will have to rest for a loong time to recover. But theyΒ΄re alive!
π: 0 β©: 1
Of course they're alive, I'm not a killer.Β
Maybe a sadistic.Β
π: 0 β©: 1
Greetings!
I'd suggest you some changes if you don't mind. Β
P1
Did you understand Apple Bloom?
P2
That sounds more like/as aΒ punishment!
No, don't think that(way), your wounds need time to(if "to heal")/for...
As well I'd suggest a little more stricter big sister
You better trust the doctors, young lady. Your wounds need time to heal...
About P4, I don't think I understand enough to make any suggestions
π: 0 β©: 1
I just changed it, maybe it's more understandable this way.
Thank for the help.Β
π: 0 β©: 1
"That sounds more like a punishment!"
"No, don't be like that, your wounds need time to..."
"You're wearing a restrictor!"
(this one is a bit tough but I'll try...) "No more magic for you.Β Now be still.Β You broke your horn in the forest."
"In that case, ask me or use your hooves!"
Poor Sweetie Cry-Face!Β <3
π: 0 β©: 1
Thanks for the help, i made a new version for the panel 4 line, it's certainly more understandable this way.Β
π: 0 β©: 0
