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jeremy3 β Everfree part 58en
#everfree #mlp #pony #comicstrip #applebloom #sweetiebelle
Published: 2016-12-23 14:50:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 8586; Favourites: 81; Downloads: 41
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Hello, last part before Christmas.As usual, if you find english mystake, please tell my, I will make the change as soon as I can.
Thanks to mustlovefrogs.deviantart.com/ and phoenixflambe.deviantart.com/ for the Corrections and rephrasing.
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Have a happy merry Christmas.
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Comments: 26
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Just try not to drop Bloom too far when you get knocked out by the fall.
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Murphy's law, we probably still do not see the worst.
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The only way to do that is unfaving it and then refaving it.
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You can do it, Adrenaline is a wonderful thing. You will just collapse into unconsciousness once you reach a safe place and probably be out for over 24 hours. Very nicely done, keep up the great work.
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oh silly marsh of mallow you will prevail as will scootzie just remember look were you are trotting off too.
as for mistakes;
1st panel "Oh Scootaloo, not only we were unable to help you...." it work better to switch we and were.
2nd panel has no errors but some idea's on a better wording. "My horn pulling me" would be better if it was "horn's".Β it pulls the focus to the horn. and the line "That burn and hurt!" a better phrase would be "It burns and hurts"
hope that helps and merry christmas to you jeremy may your holiday season be filled with more fun then a pinkie party.
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Thanks you, but I already have this corrections from Mustlovefrog some comments earlier.
It's not already corrected because I'm with my family, far away from my computer, but that answer your last sentence.
I will have fun and I hope you Β will have too, with a verry happy and merry chritsmas.
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She just try to respect the last thing she eard from Scootaloo.
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It's also important to look where you're going.
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From bad, to worse, to "aw chit!" Β Poor fillies could sure use a break!
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On over hand, how the situation could be more worse than that.
It's time for Sweetie to be more brave as usual.
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When everything is going wrong, it's best not to ask what else could go wrong!
Looking forward to SB breaking through her own limitations.
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Some possible phrasings for you...
Oh Scootaloo, not only were we unable to help you...
("The situation" doesn't need to be capitalized; neither does "Brute")
All this pulling is too much for my horn! It hurts and burns...by Celestia, I need some rest!
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Thank you Β so much, unfortunally I 'm far away from my computer now.
I'll made that changes for next week.
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A toi aussi, passe de bonne fΓͺte.
To you Β too, have a happy Christmas cΓ©lΓ©brations.
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well sweety. watch your step XD soooo they are f***ed now XDΒ
such a torturing comic 
and merry christmas in advance ^^
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Lol
Thanks, merry Christmas in advance to you too.Β
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