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jeremy3 β Everfree part 76en
#forest #monster #pony #derpy #scootaloo
Published: 2017-05-19 12:09:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 4941; Favourites: 64; Downloads: 32
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English is not my first language, if you find mistake or error, please notice me.Thanks to inuyugihakusho.deviantart.com/ thedrsmiley.deviantart.com/ and keeper-of-time-rd.deviantart.c⦠for the help.
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Comments: 39
Huh. I guess I should have counted the bubbles on her butt earlier.
I hope they regenerate over time; it'd be a shame if the three she's spent today are gone forever, since that only leaves four for the rest of her life.
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may the power of bubbles save you and eradicate that dang eyeball of hate.
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May the god of fan comic will hear you .
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Derpy Cutie Mark will save themΒ
she will do this
youtu.be/9z36WDj2PcU?t=41s
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Okay, you know what? If you're going to kill them do it at once, my heart can't stand it anymore.
68.media.tumblr.com/29a67f55b7β¦
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Do you Β speak to Cloudy or me.
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It's your story, so to you.
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I really have to work on something more slice of life and less desespearat.
We doesn't need that she have to face inferno for loving her, isn't it.
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You saw the Derp-Triss baby I drew, right?Β Hee.
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You Β talk about Valentine, one of the hypothetical shild from altenat univers of our favorite couple.
I imagine her kind and strongh, with the same way to talk than Twist.
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For it is she!Β I wish I had a reason to make her canon but I just don't.Β We can enjoy her in the dreaming hours I suppose!
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You Β gave me an idea, hope i'll find time Β to make it.
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You must!Β Don't tease poor vulnerable frog!Β <3
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first panel: Put a "." after the "to do this" if u want to continue in capital letters 
2nd panel: I would use "should" instead of "could" in combination with the second sentence.. but that too is up for personal preference. Should sounds more desperate.
3rd: "had" instead of "have"
Great comic as alwaysΒ
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Hi and thanks, I just prefer the "oh no " version because that sound more like a crying supplication in my hear.Β
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Speaking of opinions, I'd have the 2'nd panel say: And how can I escape from it...Β Β When even you failed!
'How should I' is way too formal and makes Scootaloo sound perfectly calm.
'How can I' better fits the situation/look on her face.
Also in panel 3: the difference between the 'had respect for me' and 'have respect for me' versions of of the saying is that:
'if you had respect for me' is basically saying 'if you ever respected me in the past, I'm calling in that favor to ask you to do this.'
'if you have respect for me' is basically saying 'if you respect me right now, this is what you have to do to keep respecting me.'
Given the events in the comic both can be used, it's just a question of, is Derpy calling in the favor from having rescued Scoots just a moment ago, or is she giving Scoots an ultimatum if she wants to keep telling herself that she respects Derpy?
As always, great comic, keep up the good work.
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Thank you, I'll change the second panel tomorow.
I'll not change the third panel, because even Derpy doesn't know how to explain why Scoot have to try to escape, I know that sound like an excuse.
At this moment, Derpy already know all is over for all of them, but she simply can't say to Scoot to sit and waiting for the death with her.
I don't think that this is really understandable in this panel, she have a sade face and look resigned.
Fortunaly Derpy maternal and survival instinct is way strongher Than her despear.
.
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ah okay
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ooooooh, something happening with her flank!
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It's the Derpy sound and light show.
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Yes that sound a little weird, even for me, sorry?
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her butt is sparkling. bubble powers activated,Β
i wonder whats going on.Β
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The answer in few parts.Β
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I noticed something going on with her cutie mark.
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Oh damn her wings are about to get really F$%^ed up this is not going to be good I hope she doesn't loose them.
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Calling a good doctor could be a good idea.Β
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SECOND PANEL: "From" instead of "to".
THIRD PANEL: "Seems" instead of "seem".
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Thank you so much.Β
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