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jeremy3 — looking vulnerable doesn't mean I am vulnerable en
#pony #scootaloo #friendshipismagic
Published: 2016-12-09 09:43:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 2568; Favourites: 83; Downloads: 21
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Description
Hello, this week, I have something different to show you.As usual, if you notice english mistake, please tell me.
Thanks to kyuubinaruto18.deviantart.com/ for the help and sugestion.
Snowshine belongs to Liz, it's her oc! ( I'll add the snowshine cutie mark as soon as possible, sorry)
And come from Junior Gala Univers from mustlovefrogs.deviantart.com/ ! Visit her galery for more character background like fav.me/da5wb1o and so much beautiful things!
Thanks to you two for let me draw this little comic.
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Comments: 63
Oh yes she is, drawing her was a real pleasure.
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Given how smart she is, she probably figured that biting him would just cause more trouble than this guy is worth. Smart, cute and poisonous, a good combo.
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Panel 2: "to have useless wings than that so visual device." I'm not sure what you were going for here. Snowshine's mechanical helper has nothing to do with their eyesight. Would have made more sense to say "... that mechanical device.' instead of visual device.
Looking at the whole sentence in panel 1-2, it would also seem more grammatically correct to for Scootaloo to use "Instead" or "rather"
"...but I feel lucky to have useless wings instead of that device." "...but I feel lucky to have useless wings rather than that device."
Both work.
Panel 3: "Fish of steel?" Granted, this is my first time seeing this OC, so maybe they have some association with fish I don't know about, but I don't think that's the insult you were going for.
Also, metallic has two "L's"
Last panel: It would sound better to say "After all these years" instead of "In all these years."
"And my aunt Aria love to test some improvements on it."
Love should have a "S" on it.
And again I'm not sure if I quite understand the sentence. Is he saying that his aunt personally tests out the improvements, because that's what the sentence implies.
If she just messes around with it it might sound better to say "And my aunt Aria loves to add improvements to it."
Finally, "You just saw the less brutal." That needs a little tweak. Either "You just saw the least brutal." or "You just saw the less brutal one."
That's it for corrections. My last bit is just a personal nitpick. The colors of the characters speech bubbles seem off. Snowshine is white-coated, so it would make sense for his speech bubble to be white, but Scootaloo gets that. Snowshine's speech bubble is pink, I guess to match his eyes, but then why does Scootaloo get a plain white bubble?
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And thank you so much for your help, I improved my english skills, now it's more easy to explain what I want, but it's still not enough, so thank you.
All this changes are planned for tomorow.
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Snowshine is a hippocampus. The mean pony is using a slur.
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Hippocampus: the elongated ridges on the floor of each lateral ventricle of the brain, thought to be the center of emotion, memory, and the autonomic nervous system.
Looked up the definition, and I'm just as confused about the slur as before. Snowshine is... a part of the brain? And what does that have to do with fish? Please explain, because I'm kinda lost here.
Okay, scratch that. I did a little more digging and saw this:
The hippocampus , Latin for seahorse, is named for its shape.
So Snowshine is actually a seahorse? That would certainly explain the fish of steel insult, but why does he have a pony body?
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vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/m…
They shapeshift. And she's a she.
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And thank YOU for Snowshine fanart! This is the best! <3 <3
I still say that mean pone is lucky she didn't bite him...she was downright gracious to him!
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As usual, you're welcome, but believe me, if someone have to thank somebody, it's me. that was a real pleasure.
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Given how smart she is, she probably figured that biting him would just cause more trouble than this guy is worth.
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Mother Sunset made her promise not to bite unless Snowshine is in life-threatening danger. It's a waste of good venom otherwise!
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A waste of the venom injected and a waste of the venom used to made the anti-venom. A venomous pup would probably use all her venom if she was to bite someone, just like a young snake. The theorhetical venomous adult Hippocampus would probably use her venom way more wisely.
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