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Description

  Though many doomsayers imagined a dystopian future under one world government, none predicted the old institutions would fall to the Global Gamers’ Union. This almost bloodless revolution was in hindsight not surprising. The greatest gaming franchises had already transcended national and cultural boundaries; and when playing in a team, people from all kinds of backgrounds were united by a common goal. In the eyes of many gamers, characters and mascots were more real than their parents’ gods and their exploits more exciting than stories from an age long gone. Respect and loyalty to others was now based less on race and class than their individual merits and ability to work in a team. The dystopian nightmare never ensued; the world under the GGU was a richer, fairer, safer one, ignoring the virtual carnage of wars now fought in cyberspace.

  As old borders grew less relevant new ones came to matter more. This process was rarely violent – refugees from any group had little trouble finding others – but more dangerous schisms appeared within certain franchises. Unlike such longstanding feuds as Call of Duty vs. Battlefield – which, for all their savagery, rarely left the Internet – these internal conflicts spilled out into the real world.

  The massive Sonic fanbase – which already suffered from deep rifts due to a convoluted canon and opinionated followers – was affected worst of all. Purists and revisionists, fundamentalists and heretics, sectarian and ecumenical groups fought with medieval savagery over minor differences in supposedly infallible but often contradictory lore. As outsiders watched in disbelief, the minority of Sonic fans who still showed signs of sanity tried to win the franchise back from extremists. In a desperate bid to save it, they abandoned everything except its central character, believing only Sonic could end these pointless and destructive wars. Even this was problematic, as Sonic himself had changed over time and his different incarnations made divisions even worse.

  The Sonic Reformers’ final solution was a mere shell of the famous hedgehog, but one they said was necessary. As countless lives had already been lost over opinions of Sonic’s arms – which some traditions said were blue and others said were flesh-coloured – the Reformers avoided the issue by removing his arms altogether, though his white gloves were retained. Due to the potential for a schism based on leg colour they removed his lower limbs as well. The old problem of Sonic’s eyes – best expressed in the question “How do they work?” – had historically provoked less violence than inconclusive speculation, but the Reformers solved it the same way. The sole supporting character was a balloon called Helium, who spoke a high-pitched gibberish that could never contradict the statements their new Sonic made. When they unveiled their creation they were certain it would heal all wounds, eliminate all differences, and unite all Sonic fans.

  Few actions have gone so disastrously wrong. Some people warmed to the new Sonic but the majority did not. The “Shell,” as it was derisively known, fostered new divisions among those who could afford no more. The resulting purges and reprisals were bloody but predictable. Most of the Sonic Reformers paid for their ideals with martyrdom, but few mistakes can be unmade and their infamous spawn lives on.

Description

  Though many doomsayers imagined a dystopian future under one world government, none predicted the old institutions would fall to the Global Gamers’ Union. This almost bloodless revolution was in hindsight not surprising. The greatest gaming franchises had already transcended national and cultural boundaries; and when playing in a team, people from all kinds of backgrounds were united by a common goal. In the eyes of many gamers, characters and mascots were more real than their parents’ gods and their exploits more exciting than stories from an age long gone. Respect and loyalty to others was now based less on race and class than their individual merits and ability to work in a team. The dystopian nightmare never ensued; the world under the GGU was a richer, fairer, safer one, ignoring the virtual carnage of wars now fought in cyberspace.

  As old borders grew less relevant new ones came to matter more. This process was rarely violent – refugees from any group had little trouble finding others – but more dangerous schisms appeared within certain franchises. Unlike such longstanding feuds as Call of Duty vs. Battlefield – which, for all their savagery, rarely left the Internet – these internal conflicts spilled out into the real world.

  The massive Sonic fanbase – which already suffered from deep rifts due to a convoluted canon and opinionated followers – was affected worst of all. Purists and revisionists, fundamentalists and heretics, sectarian and ecumenical groups fought with medieval savagery over minor differences in supposedly infallible but often contradictory lore. As outsiders watched in disbelief, the minority of Sonic fans who still showed signs of sanity tried to win the franchise back from extremists. In a desperate bid to save it, they abandoned everything except its central character, believing only Sonic could end these pointless and destructive wars. Even this was problematic, as Sonic himself had changed over time and his different incarnations made divisions even worse.

  The Sonic Reformers’ final solution was a mere shell of the famous hedgehog, but one they said was necessary. As countless lives had already been lost over opinions of Sonic’s arms – which some traditions said were blue and others said were flesh-coloured – the Reformers avoided the issue by removing his arms altogether, though his white gloves were retained. Due to the potential for a schism based on leg colour they removed his lower limbs as well. The old problem of Sonic’s eyes – best expressed in the question “How do they work?” – had historically provoked less violence than inconclusive speculation, but the Reformers solved it the same way. The sole supporting character was a balloon called Helium, who spoke a high-pitched gibberish that could never contradict the statements their new Sonic made. When they unveiled their creation they were certain it would heal all wounds, eliminate all differences, and unite all Sonic fans.

  Few actions have gone so disastrously wrong. Some people warmed to the new Sonic but the majority did not. The “Shell,” as it was derisively known, fostered new divisions among those who could afford no more. The resulting purges and reprisals were bloody but predictable. Most of the Sonic Reformers paid for their ideals with martyrdom, but few mistakes can be unmade and their infamous spawn lives on.