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JitterbugJive — A needed lesson

Published: 2013-01-30 05:07:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 115373; Favourites: 2521; Downloads: 613
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Description I think this is a very important lesson.

At the moment, the episode has not come out yet. Though, alicorn Twilight has been something hinted at since season one, and as a writer I am excited to see change and appreciate the possibility of having some clarity on the mythology of Equestria. I highly doubt the show creators would break the friendship of the characters, nor would they make Twilight “Outlive” her friends. Remember who the target audience is: Young, impressionable little girls with dreams of being their own princess in some way. To see a character they are familiar with becoming a princess, not from being related to royalty but instead from her own hard work and diligence is inspiring for a young child.

We’ve seen many princesses who are given this role from the start. Our poor, Disney girls always pining for something more, sitting in their sheltered life longing for a prince or an adventure. Instead, we are seeing a young woman who has EARNED her place as a princess from her kindness, knowledge, and her experience with her friends.

This is a very healthy thing for young girls to see, and it’s a rare sight, so I am very excited to see what this could do for those children.

People are panicking over something that has nothing to back up the panic.

I’ll take these points people make against alicorn Twilight and rebuttal them here:

Twilight is becoming a god and will outlive her friends

Nowhere in the show has it been stated that Alicorns are gods. We also do not know a pony lifespan, or Cadence’s lifespan. All we know is the 2 Princesses lived over 1,000 years, but Cadence we have witnessed growing up with Twilight, and she’s also an Alicorn Princess. Plus, she married a unicorn. Why would she do that if she was going to outlive him?

Twilight’s friendship will be over because of this!

Why? Why would her friends leave her over something like this? Why would she NOT be allowed to see them? What’s stopping her friends from coming with her, or her deciding she wants to rule in Ponyville? We don’t even know what she will be a princess of yet, or if she’s replacing anyone or just being given a new role. Also, no one ever said you have to lose your friends just because you moved away or got a better job. True friends find a way to stick together no matter what, even if their thousands of miles or even oceans apart.

Also, surely she can’t take this new role by herself. Her friends can be there to support her, and pursue their own destinies and dreams as well.

Hasbro is making her a princess just to make more toys!

Well, why is this a bad thing? Don’t Bronies like to collect the toys? Havn’t the toys been getting a bit stale and repetitive lately? So, we have a new princess toy. Hasbro is a toy company, My Little Pony has always been a toy franchise. The whole point of the show has ALWAYS been to market toys, but they are taking a new approach to it by actually giving the show life and thought and some darned good quality! When Rarity was given butterfly wings, it was there so they could release Butterfly Wing ponies. No one complained about this. Crystal Empire released a new set of sparkly toys. No one complained about this. Everything in the show has been to promote the toys, nothing has changed. They even made a White Celestia for us because people wanted her accurate, and they did so.

I have faith that the writers will put some logic and good lore behind this whole thing, and will take care of it, just as they took care of ‘Butterfly’ ponies and ‘Crystal’ ponies, and even the Wedding sets.

For collectors, Alicorn Twilight is a fresh new toy to have on the shelf, and she’s honestly not a bad design. (Well, her dress is a bit silly…)

Twilight Alicorn will ruin the show!

It’s not the end. As a princess, it opens a whole new WORLD of possibilities we never had before! We’ve been in Ponyville for 3 seasons, shouldn’t it be fair to give the show a chance to take a new direction? Rather than lessons of friendship, we can learn lessons of responsibility, and explore the greater world of Equestria. Think about it, if she becomes a Princess, she would need to become familiar with the world around her, and her friends can still come with her and help her.
Being a princess does NOT end a story, in opens a new page. They already said there will be a season 4, and I want to see more based on the mythology and society of Equestria. And Twilight being a princess is a potential gateway to that whole world!

Well, if she becomes an Alicorn it’s not fair that her friends don’t!

Not everyone in a circle of friends is going to become famous or achieve greatness at the same time. It’s illogical and highly unlikely. Another thing, what would her friends really have to gain from being alicorns? Twilight is training her magic, this has been her destiny as the Princess’s protege from the start of her lessons. Her friends do not have these same goals.

In fact, Twilight becoming an Alicorn can even aid her friends in reaching their own dreams. Rainbow Dash is already on her way to being a Wonderbolt, and they seem to reside in Canterlot.

Rarity’s dresses became noticed in Canterlot, and she’s always wanted to live there with the culture and fashion. Her friend being a princess opens a whole new world of fashion possibilities for her.

Applejack was given a high responsibility as head of the family when she was given the task of putting together the family reunion. She’s content with her life on the farm, and has no reason to need to be an alicorn. But her friend being a princess could help provide more funding for her farm, and might bring ponies in from other towns wanting to try their food.

Fluttershy is content with her animals, and Pinkie is just… Pinkie. They are fine with who they are, they wont have anything to gain from being Alicorn Princesses.

So, really, the only one that seems to fit that role is Twilight Sparkle, and she’s honestly earned it after all her hard work.

In Closing, I just want to say that everyone should calm down, think of the good possibilities this could open, and put a little more trust in the writers. We don’t know where this could go. We don’t know if it will be a permanent change, or a short gag. We don’t know how the episode will end or what Twilight chooses. We don’t know what could be in store for season 4.

The unknown is scary, yes. It’s the most common thing we fear. But the community is what truly makes Bronies, NOT the show, and as a community we should be ready to embrace change and continue the way we always have.

With love and toleration.
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Comments: 711

EramNightreign In reply to ??? [2013-02-04 01:09:06 +0000 UTC]

*nuclear f-bomb*

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HylianOtakuPonyGuy [2013-02-02 03:11:23 +0000 UTC]

No that's okay, I'll cry today

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shinybob606 In reply to ??? [2013-02-02 01:21:01 +0000 UTC]

This is an amazing comic and i even saw it stretch out as far as memebase... Comics rarely get into that. Truly awesome and i love it

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theMagnumBlitZ In reply to ??? [2013-02-02 01:09:34 +0000 UTC]

Someone give this guy a medal.

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AgentBlackBlood In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 23:17:45 +0000 UTC]

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solarsun In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 22:35:10 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry I disagree in some parts of your 'friends don't need to be alicorns' explanation. If Rainbow Dash became an alicorn it'd probably get her into the wonderbolts faster. Rarity would LOVE to be an alicorn (with her obsession with the wings in season 1 is any indicator).

I can agree with apple jack and fluttershy.

Pinkie is pinkie and I think she'd be utterly amazing at spreading happiness (honestly that IS her dream, similar to Cadence's isn't it?) if she were an alicorn.

So why should season 4 focus on just twilight and her travels then? It seems unfair for her friends to have to stop their lives and follow her and it would also be very unfair if the entirety of season 4 was dedicated to twilight when this series is about FRIENDSHIP. I don't see that working as well as you explained.

Why is it that it's 'twilight's destiny' to become a princess with her studies in magic? I never saw that hinted at till the beginning of season 3. I just assumed that Celestia saw a great power in her and took her under her wing to make sure she didn't end up like Discord. Sure her element is a crown, that could be the only arguing factor for me that they 'hinted at it in season 1'. I just assumed it was a marketing ploy.

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MillennialDan In reply to solarsun [2013-02-02 13:10:11 +0000 UTC]

Lauren Faust herself said that she hadn't planned on this for Twilight. Faust even said that Cadance wasn't originally an alicorn, and was surprised to see that change. She's even gone so far as to say that she doesn't watch the show any more because it reminds her of how different it is from what she had actually planned out for it.

So you're correct on all points. This is a recent development, and one that isn't equitable in the least.

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Fellmoon In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-02 21:27:33 +0000 UTC]

Can you link me to where it says all this?

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MillennialDan In reply to Fellmoon [2013-02-02 23:35:06 +0000 UTC]

Happily. Both statements were made via her Twitter account, which I've saved for just this occasion.

Her take on alicorn Twilight: [link]
Her not watching the show: [link]

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Fellmoon In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-03 00:18:04 +0000 UTC]

Hmm okay, not much to go on but I can see what your taking about.

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darkraptor20 In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 21:57:53 +0000 UTC]

This is exactly what I'm hoping for! Twilight becoming an Alicorn, BUT she will still be the same ol' Twilight. One who panics, under stress, and always looking at books for guidance. In other words, its still Twilight, but with wings

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MillennialDan In reply to darkraptor20 [2013-02-02 13:10:37 +0000 UTC]

Then why do it at all.

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RaveRyder [2013-02-01 20:19:02 +0000 UTC]


Well spoken. The truth is nothing's changed, it's still an awesome show. I think this is the beginning of something big, I can't wait to see all the
hilarious princessy shenanigans in season 4! It's going to be awesome!

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MillennialDan [2013-02-01 19:09:09 +0000 UTC]

Too dang long.
Did not read.

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ZeroBlue4 In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-02 03:40:37 +0000 UTC]

Millennial Dan? How the heck did I run into you outside of KYM Pony general?

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MillennialDan In reply to ZeroBlue4 [2013-02-02 04:42:46 +0000 UTC]

Hey there Zero. Yeah, you'll see me show up all over the place if you watch long enough. Well, except 4chan, it's the only place I don't use my proper handle.

Out of curiosity, did someone on PG link this, or did you just stumble across the EqD post?

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ZeroBlue4 In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-02 06:37:31 +0000 UTC]

Just stumbled across while looking through EqD. I was kinda trying to scope out the mood about Alicorn Twilight.

Oh, one thing! If you look down, you should see a comment done by me right before this reply stack. You might not agree with most of it, and I think I said a fair bit.

Anyways... It's Nice to see someone I'm met before.

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ZeroBlue4 [2013-02-01 18:57:21 +0000 UTC]

"Nowhere in the show has it been stated that Alicorns are gods. We also do not know a pony lifespan, or Cadence’s lifespan. All we know is the 2 Princesses lived over 1,000 years, but Cadence we have witnessed growing up with Twilight, and she’s also an Alicorn Princess. Plus, she married a unicorn. Why would she do that if she was going to outlive him?"

This is true, but not nearly a full exploration of the possibility. Plus, 50% of known Alicorns living over a thousand years kinda makes one wonder.

But in any case, it's not something I worry about, especially in my fics... Because you know why?

Because even if Alicorn God Princess stuff IS an Immortality Deal, that hardly means it's the only one... For example, in the story I'm doing, Equestria is powered by Dungeons and Dragon Esque Rules for the most part. Number of characters currently likely to live forever? Most of them. Pinkie and Fluttershy have some reincarnation after death deal going on, Rarity imbibes a certain Elixer of Life (Ether Brewed herself of Paid for with Exorbitant Fees), Rainbow Dash is practically going to be set up to be immune to the passage of time due to Mastery of it.

So far, the only Extraneous Variable is Applejack, who's getting off Scot free from needing a normal method of by virtue of being freaking descended from Mythical Heroes, and as such, her having saved Equestria the number of times she already has in the show plus all her record setting that she does at Rodeos puts her squarely in the position that she qualifies for a special rule-set called "Mythic", where she's Immortal precisely because she's a legend.

The show though... They just won't EVER address it. They don't need to, and more importantly, if they ever need to, they will have either hand-waves or similar ways of making the problem mean jack.

Fantasy problems can always have fantasy solution, and it wouldn't be an immediate concern anyways, it's not like the others suddenly have a short lifespan now regardless of if Twilight is Immortal or not. Twilight can just look into any possible solutions for her friends whenever she gets free time. Piece of Cake. Heck, she'll probably end up powerful enough that age spells are perfectly within the realm of possibility for her. Solving the problem that way. Heck, age spells are canon for goodness sakes!

At this point I have elaborated a lot more than I need to. But that Backs up the point here... Absolutely nothing to worry about!

...

Oh yeah, the comic! I should comment on that.

Generally thoughtful, visually appealing, warms the heart, and although the short narrative is vague in the leading up circumstances; it works well. As for the Message, I can agree with it totally.

Overall?

<3 Gotta love this stuff.

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MillennialDan In reply to ZeroBlue4 [2013-02-02 13:03:55 +0000 UTC]

As usual, Zero, I have no idea what you're talking about, but that's just because I don't play the same games as you.

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EramNightreign In reply to ZeroBlue4 [2013-02-01 23:54:31 +0000 UTC]

D&D IS a Hasbro thing. Maybe you're hitting the nail on the head?

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Picanthro In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 18:05:58 +0000 UTC]

RHJunior does make some good points so here is some of mine

1 - i don't think the Alicorns are god like beings - but may have slightly longer lifespans then the other races except dragons or phoenixes. since Hasbro uses a lot of mythical creatures in Equestria, mostly from Greek or roman myths. Celestia and Luna's lifespan can come from the golden apple tree that Celestia possesses as mentioned by spike in Episode 26 of season 1, (in the myth of the apple tree, it was the source of the gods immortality) which can answer statements 1 and 2
2 - The world is a big place - Alicorn Princes prob rule elsewhere else
3 - In hearth warming eve each of the three tribes had their own rulers before Celestia and Luna

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MillennialDan In reply to Picanthro [2013-02-02 13:05:27 +0000 UTC]

The three tribes had completely different governments from one another in those days. Only the unicorns had monarchs, interestingly enough.

What exactly did Spike mention in ep. 26?

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Picanthro In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-05 05:08:10 +0000 UTC]

i know i didn't mention there respected leaders - king, queen, emperor, empress, ect.
you mean episode 26 of season 1 - if you didn't see the episode he said that he'd show Applejack, Celestia's golden apple tree. oops i missed the word golden in that part of the sentence. Just look up golden apple tree. it shows up in both Greek and Norse myths

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MillennialDan In reply to Picanthro [2013-02-05 06:17:07 +0000 UTC]

That's an interesting catch, I'll have to check that out.

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Picanthro In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-05 05:07:56 +0000 UTC]

i know i didn't mention there respected leaders - king, queen, emperor, empress, ect.
you mean episode 26 of season 1 - if you didn't see the episode he said that he'd show Applejack, Celestia's golden apple tree. oops i missed the word golden in that part of the sentence. Just look up golden apple tree. it shows up in both Greek and Norse myths

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Kenshi-Wolf [2013-02-01 17:22:09 +0000 UTC]

This NEEDs to be season 4, this in a nutshell is what i hope season 4 is all about

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RHJunior [2013-02-01 17:04:14 +0000 UTC]

The only problem with that is that Twilight is a scholar and a researcher. She loves books, studying, researching and experimenting, so her highest ambition in life is.... to be a princess and sit on a throne?

The whole POINT of the show was that not every girl wanted to be a "pretty pretty princess,"-- and that didn't make them less of a girl or a complete person. But some people (corporate executives) have to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the "all girls love pink and princesses" ghetto....

There's more than one problem, really. We're talking a HELL of a lot of unfortunate implications. Whether they say them or not, they're gonna be the elephant in the room. You don't have to be particularly old or wise to pick up on them either---
1. Alicorns live thousands of years, and are possibly immortal. (show me an OLD alicorn and we'll talk). Any little girl can figure out "Celestia is an alicorn. Luna is an Alicorn. Luna and Celestia are centuries old. Twilight is now an alicorn. That means Twilight will live....how long?"
2. If Celestia and Luna are the ones who make Twilight into an alicorn, that means they have had the secret of immense longevity or even immortality, and have been hoarding it to themselves and a special select few. And no matter how you dice it, that's like having the cure for childhood terminal cancer in your hip pocket and refusing to share it.
3.Sexism. Where, pray tell, are all the Alicorn PRINCES?
4.Racism. Why is it only the unicorn that's ascending? What automatically qualifies a pony to rule the land just because they have a horn and wings?
5.Elitism. It isn't "alicorn" that's half as much a problem to me as "princess." Show me some alicorn commoners-- or let Twilight remain a commoner-- and I'd probably take it better.
6.Hell, why aren't they making Shining Armor into an alicorn? He's bloody MARRIED to one of them! I'd think Cadence would appreciate the added assurance that she's not going to spend the next thousand years as a widow.
Feel free to add to the list, folks...

THE REAL PROBLEM

Don't patronize us. We're fans. We've been led down this lily-lined path before. We can smell executive meddling like other people smell gasoline. For all that we've read hundreds of fanfics with an ascendancy story-- and some of us have even written a few-- we know just how bad corporations can screw things up and screw their fanbase over. We saw what they did to Discord, and it's not inspired confidence.
New Coke. Looney Toons Extreme. Disney closing its animation studios. Zima. Pepsi Clear. Rodimus Prime. Change... is bad.

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Coobalt-Dahonli-One In reply to RHJunior [2013-02-01 21:32:34 +0000 UTC]

I want to fave this comment. If only this was possible.

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MillennialDan In reply to RHJunior [2013-02-01 19:53:31 +0000 UTC]

I disagree somewhat about Discord, purely due to the excuse that he's a chaotic being and he can change suddenly if he darn well pleases.

Everything else, however, I completely side with you on. The elitism is perhaps one of the most obvious things. Does one have to be white to be president? Should a person seek out plastic surgery to qualify for leadership? Or maybe a query in other fiction would work make more sense. What if to become a jedi, one had to first become human? Did the Pevensie children need to turn into wizards to rule Narnia? This "transcendence" stuff is just crazy. And the idea of Twilight's peer status with her friends being effectively removed is obnoxious too.

What, exactly, will she be the princess of? Ponyville? There's a great idea, oust the elected official, we need more monarchs around here.

But you know, philosophical and social implications aside, what bothers me the most is that it's terribly cheesy and contrived. No fanfic would get away with twenty-two minutes' worth of this utterly contrived story:

"Twilight Sparkle accidentally casts a spell that switches the Cutie Marks and destinies of all her friends, and the only way she can reverse the spell is by writing her own magic. Little does she know that by achieving this great accomplishment, she will fulfill her destiny and emerge a princess."

We'd laugh 'em out of town for writing a story like that, seriously. It's just a bad idea.

On top of it all, Meghan McCarthy says it "I don’t think becoming a princess really changes her; I think it’s going to introduce some new challenges for her." Doesn't change her? First of all, that's nonsense. Secondly, if it doesn't change her, then why do it? I can't understand why so many are going to bat for Hasbro's meddling here.

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JitterbugJive In reply to RHJunior [2013-02-01 18:29:48 +0000 UTC]

All I can say is: Since when are the bronies the ones who are self entitled to get whatever they want when the target audience is, in the end, young girls with dreams and aspirations?
And as many fans, you are making headcanon assumptions based on what little knowledge you have been given in regards to alicorns. Celestia and Luna may be over 1,000 years old, but that doesn't automatically mean ALL Alicorns age like this. Cadence clearly grew up at the same rate as Twilight Sparkle. We don't know how long ponies live either, but if you really want to get into continuity they would have to be able to age at least 200 years or so, considering Ponyville's founding with Granny Smith and Winter Wrap Up being a ponyville tradition for hundreds of years.

Sexism and Racism? Now you're just grasping at straws. And taking a show for children far too seriously. No little girl is going to think like this. Only social crusading adults who can't see a glass half full would jump to these outlandish conclusions. Overreactions like this is the reason Derpy got censored, thank you very much.

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LunaSingularis In reply to JitterbugJive [2013-02-01 22:40:28 +0000 UTC]

Glad to see more people like you around, BaldDumboRat.

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solarsun In reply to JitterbugJive [2013-02-01 22:35:17 +0000 UTC]

I was 7 and noticed Sexism in my cartoons.

'Mom why isn't April in TMNT as bad ass as the rest of them?' 'Why isn't there a GIRL Transformer?' 'Why isn't one of main mice in BMFM female?'

If I were watching this today as a child I'd be: 'Why isn't there any MALE alicorns for them to be friends with and marry?'

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MillennialDan In reply to solarsun [2013-02-02 13:06:12 +0000 UTC]

Exactly.

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MillennialDan In reply to JitterbugJive [2013-02-01 19:55:21 +0000 UTC]

Heck, what was it that got us all so ticked off about Derpy? Wasn't it the fact that they changed her? This is no different. Twilight evidently needs an upgrade, she's not marketable enough, so we're going to "improve" her.

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JitterbugJive In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-02 10:07:54 +0000 UTC]

No, they CENSORED her from something that was ALREADY there and DIDN'T need to be censored. That is NOT the same thing as a character development/change.

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MillennialDan In reply to JitterbugJive [2013-02-02 12:59:44 +0000 UTC]

This is not character development. Character development is maturing in your relationships, growing up, learning new things. This crazy alicorn princess stuff fundamentally alters Twilight as a character. What on earth was wrong with her being a normal unicorn? Why does she need to be catapulted to a position "superior" to that of her peers? Is her all-important "destiny" too important for a lowly librarian?

So I still see little difference. Twilight just isn't good enough right now, we need more pretty pony princesses, dagnabbit.

Slapping wings on her and calling her a princess (of what, who knows) is just a perfectly obvious marketing ploy. It makes no sense, it's completely unnecessary, and it creates a disquieting imbalance among the mane 6.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying the sky is falling, or that I'll quit being a fan because of this, or anything like that. I just hate the idea, and I chalk it up to corporate meddling. I'll still watch the show to see how it plays out.

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JitterbugJive In reply to MillennialDan [2013-02-03 03:22:10 +0000 UTC]

For now, I am going to trust the writers. Lauren Faust stated many of the fans are going to feel quite silly after this is all said and done, so I'm just waiting to see how true that holds up.

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MillennialDan In reply to JitterbugJive [2013-02-03 03:59:44 +0000 UTC]

Believe me, I would much rather feel silly for having drawn the wrong conclusions than have my criticisms actually hold up. It's one of those times when I very much want to be proven wrong.

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serinity52 In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 15:08:19 +0000 UTC]

Very nice comic, and your comments needed to be said. haha I'm looking forward to Alicorn Twilight.

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bodo0325 In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 14:00:47 +0000 UTC]

Reading the description, I am now anticipating the season finale thanks to your argument. Initially, i didn't know what to think,. but now, having read your side on it, I actually am excited to see the possibilities of what the show can become. You have a very nice argument, something becoming rare on the internet. It was nice to hear a very wel thought out opinion on alicorn twilight. Oh and the comic is amazing too

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Endaljaro In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 12:28:57 +0000 UTC]

you expressed in a simple and emotional way what i think in the issue of Twilight becoming a alicorn.

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stingray970 In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 12:05:37 +0000 UTC]

All of my feels. ;(

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brongaar In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 09:01:55 +0000 UTC]

You rock.. this change will do nothing but enhance the show.. but the bandwagon will stop to let those not jazzed about the change off.

Even though this is not the Faustian fate of Twilight but she seems pleased with the direction. Love ya

And as usual, Keep calm and Flutter On.

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MillennialDan In reply to brongaar [2013-02-01 19:56:32 +0000 UTC]

Pff, Faust can't even bring herself to watch the show any more. Does that sound like she's really pleased?

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uncommentator In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 07:18:48 +0000 UTC]

*Glances at description* [link]

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LyyraMoonstone In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 06:40:47 +0000 UTC]

All good points, but i don't really think the whole idea of Twi becoming an alicorn is really clear yet. Apparently they've released a toy called 'Princess Skyla' and the episode could really be about her being crowned and not Twilight. Either way i don't really mind, as long as they don't make her princess of the stars cause that already belongs to Luna

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Xip3rheartsLuna In reply to LyyraMoonstone [2013-02-01 07:54:15 +0000 UTC]

If that is what you believe, then how much can we trust the MLP Wiki? (a synopsis on it leads to Twilight becoming an Alicorn)

Ps. 'The Hub' official Facebook page showed a picture of Twilight with wings.

What do you make out of this?

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LyyraMoonstone In reply to Xip3rheartsLuna [2013-02-01 23:49:00 +0000 UTC]

I just said it wasn't really clear, in my own opinion, with the new toy out. I don't know much about what the show does, I don't go on their page or really follow any of what the hub or hasbro does. The only reason why I knew about the toy was because someone on deviant art was talking about it and had a link to the picture, I just think that it could be a possibility. And as I've said before, I don't mind if Twilight does become an alicorn (as long as it's not of the stars)so I didn't care enough to further look into it, and I still don't.

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MillennialDan In reply to Xip3rheartsLuna [2013-02-01 20:18:23 +0000 UTC]

Alicorn princess Twilight has been confirmed multiple times:

[link]
[link]

It's happening, and I must say, it sounds quite terrible.

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zdude3255 In reply to ??? [2013-02-01 05:24:21 +0000 UTC]

That speech just won!
...Everyone go home, the internet's already been won.
In fact, this speech just won EVERYTHING! So... stay! I mean, where else can you go when everything has been won by this guy?!
...Actually, go. The internet no longer serves a purpose since everything has been won.
...*thud*
(is he okay?) (I think he broke) (What do you mean he "broke"?!) (I don't know, can YOU come up with a better explanation?) (...) (That's what I thought) (So what do we do?) (I'll handle it)
...We're sorry, but our friend has just collapsed from as of yet unknown causes. We believe that that speech blew his mind or something. He is now in a coma, but we're sure he'll be fine.

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