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leopardivory β€” Take My Hand
Published: 2004-04-10 20:00:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 8410; Favourites: 136; Downloads: 3106
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Description Please take my hand
like you did when I was young.
Keep me close to you
to protect me across the busy street.

Though that traffic ridden street
now symbolizes my future.
So many different obstacles
that I must quickly overcome.

There is no easy way
for me to get through this.
There is no crosswalk
that I can safely take now.

So won't you just please
come with me and lead me?
Please direct me through
this hectic time in my life.

Please take my hand
like you did when I was young.
Keep me close to you
to protect me from the future.
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Comments: 304

luanis In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 21:36:10 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

I hope you come back and comment someday

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leopardivory In reply to luanis [2004-04-11 21:36:32 +0000 UTC]

I shall!

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deadidentity In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 17:18:39 +0000 UTC]

very intence. i like it

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leopardivory In reply to deadidentity [2004-04-11 21:02:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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TheThoughtfulOne In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 17:09:39 +0000 UTC]

" Come with me,
Into the trees,
Lay on the grass,
And let hours pass
Take my hand,
Come back to the land,
Lets get away,
Just for one day." - Striped by Rammstein



The Wanting for one to lead us through to the future is a commen thing. Though no in our society people are suposed to just get up on their own feet, with no help what so ever, and survive in the world. That is Bunk. What you just said here is something that EVERY one goes through some time in there life, we all need someone to help guide us through the traffic of life... The only hard part is finding the one that will be with you the whole way.

You deserve much praise for what you stated here, if you write more like this you'll definatly see me watchin u.

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leopardivory In reply to TheThoughtfulOne [2004-04-11 21:34:02 +0000 UTC]

Wow, thank you so very much!

I am glad that you got the initial meaning to this poem, and accepted it for what it was. I appreciate it!

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TheThoughtfulOne In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-13 17:54:28 +0000 UTC]

No, Thank you, I often create my philosiphy, and it's intersesting to find people out there that share at least a part of it, and that makes me think that I'm not alone out there, and that I'm not the only one who thinks the world can and should be a better place. Not for coperations, not for money, not for anything, but our children, for we were given something good in our time... why should we not give them something better, and right now I question, is this better than what we were given?

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Enigmagic In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:50:27 +0000 UTC]

Really great! All the details, he wonderful hair! lightning! It all makes it a wonderful picture

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leopardivory In reply to Enigmagic [2004-04-11 21:27:58 +0000 UTC]

I agree with you completely! All praises for the image go to :devmyangelofmusic!

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leopardivory In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-11 21:28:43 +0000 UTC]

Erm.. *Myangelofmusic !

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Enigmagic In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-12 10:58:47 +0000 UTC]

is it just ~Enigmagic !

Am i right? Does it work? Well, the picture is great U know

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Enigmagic In reply to Enigmagic [2004-04-12 10:59:16 +0000 UTC]

Cool! it worked! Thanks

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mokusei-1 In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:44:54 +0000 UTC]

beautiful, haunting image, it's something that stays with you for a while after seeing it!

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leopardivory In reply to mokusei-1 [2004-04-11 21:26:22 +0000 UTC]

I agree with you completely! All praise for the image go to * Myangelofmusic !

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gammalbambus In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:36:41 +0000 UTC]

Who is that on the picture? Because she is really pretty! How did u make that? It's so beautiful!

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leopardivory In reply to gammalbambus [2004-04-11 21:20:15 +0000 UTC]

That is ~kitty-stock ! And I didn't make the image, *Myangelofmusic did!

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gammalbambus In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-13 18:43:37 +0000 UTC]

Well it's ur deviation, and I gave it a complimen't! It's really nice!

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leopardivory In reply to gammalbambus [2004-04-14 04:10:02 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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gammalbambus In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-14 17:02:30 +0000 UTC]

U deserve every word!

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forgotten-thoughts In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:36:00 +0000 UTC]

beautifully written. i especially like the last stanza. gorgeous. and i love the image. it is to die for. literally.

absolutely gorgeous.

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leopardivory In reply to forgotten-thoughts [2004-04-11 21:19:15 +0000 UTC]

Wow, thank you so much!

I appreciate it!

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forgotten-thoughts In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-11 22:24:58 +0000 UTC]

oh no problem dear! fantastic work!

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sycochik In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:20:28 +0000 UTC]

wow this is absolutley beautiful, one of the most gorgeious photos i have seen for a while, and i love the words as well, they reflect the picture, but also the way of the world in a beautiful way
lovely
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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leopardivory In reply to sycochik [2004-04-11 21:18:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so very much, dear! I appreciate the lovely comment!

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sycochik In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-11 21:26:39 +0000 UTC]

hehe its all god
x

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TheReservoirTips In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:09:53 +0000 UTC]

I just stumbled across this poem as I was doing some random commenting and I liked it, great idea. The fact that you came right out and stated your metaphoric symbolization (I believe you even used the word "symbolize") was nice. Granted it won't sit well with the usual DevArt types. It is not "artsy" enough for them, they need to plague their brain with finding meanings in the, dare I say, "deep" poetry. I found your description of your meaning gave the reader very little to think about (Good or Bad ??), but it was refreshing to me after wading through some other nonsense poetry where the poets go out of their way to be "deep" and really have no meaning to their poems. "Metaphors are great, innappropriate metaphors could be the death of us all." Thanks for poem I could enjoy commenting on.

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leopardivory In reply to TheReservoirTips [2004-04-11 21:32:17 +0000 UTC]

Wow, your comment means a lot to me after all the immature little negativities a few other people gave this piece. As I told them, it is what it is and this came straight from my own feelings. There is no /real/ definition to poetry, and anyone who claims to think they know otherwise is full of crap. Poetry, to me, is a way of expressing emotions that need to be expressed. I am so pleased you enjoyed this, thank you!

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TheReservoirTips In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-11 21:37:35 +0000 UTC]

Great. I am glad you feel that way. Poetry is one of the few forms of writing that if more for the writer that for the reader. I guess thats why I enjoy writing and reading it so much.

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xpapertigersx In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 16:00:05 +0000 UTC]

Kitty stock does have some beautiful stuff indeed. Great work, words are fantastic

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leopardivory In reply to xpapertigersx [2004-04-11 21:01:49 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the great comment!

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bittersweetpoet In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 15:37:34 +0000 UTC]

awesome job. and it wasn't overdone. i love the underlying message..very needy.
nice

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leopardivory In reply to bittersweetpoet [2004-04-11 21:00:13 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much, it means a lot to see this comment.

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bittersweetpoet In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-12 12:31:06 +0000 UTC]

It was my pleasure to read this.

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leopardivory In reply to bittersweetpoet [2004-04-12 16:04:45 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thank you so much!

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drink-me-pretty In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 12:36:02 +0000 UTC]

Simply great Great collab, too... Succesful

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leopardivory In reply to drink-me-pretty [2004-04-11 19:27:04 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for your constant support, my dear!

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drink-me-pretty In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-12 08:01:29 +0000 UTC]

Your new avatar is so kewl
It's nothing

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leopardivory In reply to drink-me-pretty [2004-04-12 16:06:34 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, thank you!

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somestrangebirds In reply to ??? [2004-04-11 11:58:37 +0000 UTC]

I think I have to agree that the poem does leave absolutely nothing to the mind of the reader. You over-describe and overload your poem with description that is largely superfluous. The poem itself reads very prose-like (no, prosaic means something else) and has no imagery other than the primary metaphor which is overstated. This would be much better if it was shorter and more subtle, at least in my opinion.

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leopardivory In reply to somestrangebirds [2004-04-11 19:24:29 +0000 UTC]

Well.. it is what it is, and I am happy with it. Granted, it is definitely not one of my best nor is it one of the best poems out there on DA. But, if others like it enough to fav it and can relate to it, then I guess I did something right.

Thanks for the comment, though!

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inebriate In reply to leopardivory [2004-04-11 19:36:57 +0000 UTC]

Because a bunch of twelve year-olds said they liked the idea you posed to them about crossing the street - this is how you merit your work for being an accomplishment?
If you like it, that is fantastic! Good! Great for you! We're all very proud. HOWEVER, please note that we're here to help you improve and fine-tune your writing so that it will be liked by actual writers and not simply people leaving ass-kissing replies so you can thank them and perhaps visit their works with the same ego-stroking.
There is no merit to gain for writing this piece, as I have seen multiple authors allude to the same clichΓ©s contained within it before. Sorry.

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Myangelofmusic In reply to inebriate [2004-04-11 20:38:42 +0000 UTC]

It happens that I am not a twelve-year old but a 29 year old woman! And it also happens to support this person because I see potential in her writting...
It is very offensive of you to refer to us as "simply people leaving ass-kissing replies" But of course you are a journalist!! M merchant of Chaos and disorder!! You Love creating mess around you and bitter people!! You live by this and you feed yourself with that!!

"Sex Ed and his testicles." I found this in one of your writtings...Now, this is what I would call offensive!

Please go criticise some place else! You are NOT an artist!

And also I know my english is poor but it's not my mother language so DON'T shoot me for that

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sibyll In reply to Myangelofmusic [2004-04-12 09:06:00 +0000 UTC]

~inebriate is a rare breed of artist! incomparable.

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Myangelofmusic In reply to sibyll [2004-04-12 14:30:41 +0000 UTC]

Noone is incomparable. There is always someone better!
and I certainly don't want to get into any kind of argument with anyone...

The sure thing is he is rude and did obviously his best to ruin a happy moment for her .-

I admire someones behavior more than his art....

so sad...

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psychodrive In reply to Myangelofmusic [2004-04-12 16:32:19 +0000 UTC]

Actually, I think you'll find it hard to compare him. You may be able to compare some aspect of him to a similar aspect on someone else but that's a very micro-oriented view.

On the macro level, there is no one like him. If you could quantitatively express his entire being, the possibility of finding another person/thing with the exact same attributes would be tending towards zero and so damn close that the possibility is no doubt somewhere in the magnitude of 10^-(a very large number), which is fucking small, by the way.

Don't screw with me. I'm studying pure maths.

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oedalis In reply to psychodrive [2004-04-16 05:42:18 +0000 UTC]

Math scares me

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psychodrive In reply to oedalis [2004-04-16 09:51:39 +0000 UTC]

Maths make me giggle like a little girl.

There, there.

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oedalis In reply to psychodrive [2004-04-16 19:29:57 +0000 UTC]

you make me giggle like a little girl.

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Myangelofmusic In reply to psychodrive [2004-04-12 16:46:56 +0000 UTC]

LOL!!! You are really some funny people !! You amuze me! a lot!!

Thanks

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psychodrive In reply to Myangelofmusic [2004-04-12 16:51:25 +0000 UTC]

THANX!!!!!!!!!11! ^_^

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