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lilmarisa β Type:TRAINER Chapter 1 Page 39
Published: 2011-03-19 02:38:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 17004; Favourites: 85; Downloads: 42
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Chapter 1 End.
OH MAN YOU GUYS
I MADE IT
I FINISHED CHAPTER 1
So all you lurkers who have not been commenting, now would be a GREAT time to voice your thoughts! Or even leave a critique. :3
Thanks for sticking with me these past... what, 8 months? Wow... awesome. It's been awesome, and here's hoping you stick around for the next 50 bajillion chapters! Or maybe I'll be pretentious and start calling them "episodes". IDK.
Don't know when I'll start Chapter 2 -- I'd like to do some character art and planning before I start it, but inspiration and productivity might strike me anyway. xD; Oh well. We'll see how that goes!
Oh, yeah, speaking of chapter 2 -- contest. Who won the cameo? Let's take one more look at the entries:
[link] by ~vixenmel
[link] by *charlot-sweetie
[link] by ~maximaxx
[link] by ~Kaelita-kun
[link] by ~SkittyTails
[link] by ~BlackwaterNoble
[link] by =ELASTAS
[link] [link] [link] [link] and [link] by ~piplup25
[link] by ~metaknight-fangirl13
[link] by ~CoroQuetz
[link] and [link] by ~lightsideluc
Part of the reason this page took so long was because I had to go through all the entries and do some judging. It was really hard... the entries were all fantastic and charming. I really liked the variety I got, especially! Everyone envisions Ash differently and it was cool to see how everyone pictured him in a classroom setting.
In the end though, I've decided that the winner is...
Congratulations! While all the entries were really good, 's writing style was witty and smooth, and despite the hyperactive pacing and short attention span of the narrator it was still easy to follow the storytelling. He was able to include humor, gross humor, action, character development, a short moment of horror (Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!) and even a dash of romance at the end and yet was able to keep it both cohesive and within the general, light-hearted attitude of the story. :3
So, good sir, either you, your OC, or your PokΓ©sona gets a short, minor cameo in chapter 2, along with ~CyMoahk 's as well (since he won the math contest on page 13).
AWESOME!
And all you guys who didn't get to enter or didn't win, don't worry, there will be other chances down the road. :3
Related content
Comments: 238
oh god! Don't worry Ash you can make him understand you! Also great ending to a great chapter
Even though i didn't win i don't mind at least i tried so congratz for winning !!
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I'm glad you liked it!! ^^
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I just stumbled upon this webcomic from TV-Tropes. (Yes, you do infact have your own page)
I am impressed, I look forward to reading more.
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Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! x3
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i absolutly lllooooooovvvvvvveeeeeee!!!!!! your comic!!!!! :3
your doing a great job!!!!
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Aww! Thank you so much! ^___^
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I'm one of the aforementioned 'lurkers', but to be fair I only found this comic yesterday.
You are to be congratulated for a number of things, my friend, one of which is actually making me WANT to read anything involving Ass Ketchup (I try not to be one of the nuts who disses the Anime and anyone who likes it, but I can't say I'm a fan).
I really got sucked into this comic, though. I truly enjoyed the story, and that surprised me. You've taken the borderline-cliche 'people-turn-pokemon' story and turned it into something I actually want to read more of. I'm eager to see where this goes and how the characters develop.
As for the art itself, I love the way you draw your Pikachus. They look appropriately cuddly and adorable. My favourite page was definitely page 38, with all of Ashachu's facial expressions (particularly in the final panel). There has been an improvement in the art as the comics progressed as well, which I always love to see. There has been an improvement in the way you draw people specifically: you've got movement and poses pretty much down, and the line art and shading will continue get better with more comics, I'm sure.
Totally 'Watching' this. Looking forward to more. Cheers.
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Aweseome~! It's always great to see someone come out of the woodwork and comment 
I'm glad to hear you got sucked into the comic, especially since you don't like the anime in the first place. Just out of curiosity, what was it that caught your interest and got you to start reading? Or did you just not know it was anime-based at the time? xD;
I know that "people-turn-into-pokemon" stories have been around for as long as the fandom's been around, so I'm glad to hear it feels fresh and interesting -- especially since I'm actually not very into transformation stories (the idea of turning into an animal freaks me out - which is fine, since I can work that fear into my story 
It's sooo nice to hear that my art is improving. x___x; Some of the older pages I was so proud of make me cringe now, haha... I plan on doing a little bit of anatomy study between chapters 1 and 2, get a better feel for the muscles so I can make the bodies look a little more natural. Oliver's actually supposed to be pretty well-built for a guy his age, so I should probably start working that in. :3
Thanks so much for watching and for the awesome comment! ^_____^
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aslkdhfewaoijsfdj SOOOO happy for an update! Aww, he's so cute hugging little Ashchu...
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^_____^ Thanks! Ashachu IS cute, isn't he? hehehehe
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I've been enjoying these a lot! They've been a lot of fun to read, and since you finished a full chapter, I figure the least I can do is write a critique, since you've been repeatedly asking for them. Unfortunately, I'm not a premium member, so I have to offer critiques in comments. 
Here goes:
I'll start with the things that I don't like, and get them out of the way first:
* First and foremost, are the art issues. Your art is generally good (see below for specifics) but you have some trouble with proportions. And it's not one thing (you don't always draw, say, ears too big) but just sort of a general "things are frequently a bit off, and it makes the whole picture look weird." Page 32 for example, Ash's pikachu ears are roughly double normal size. It ends up looking strange.
Also, there is sometimes you are inconsistent and sloppy on your detail work. The most obvious example that comes to mind is probably page 39 itself, last page in the chapter: Oliver and Ashe are fine, and look good, but Oliver's dad just looks strange. He has less detail than anyone else in the picture, and the effect is off-putting. (Fewer color gradations in his hair, the linework on his face is all the same thickness, his eyes don't even have pupils, and the shadows on his chin are just strange looking, since the highlight continues on the lower-right far higher than it looks like it should.)
I think that if you fixed these two issues, it would really help!
Ok, now on to the good stuff:
I like the story a lot! It's familiar ground at this point (there have been no shortage of "oops Ash is a pikachu again" fanfics by now) but you've managed some nice twists so far. In particular, the "Person that Pokemon just hate" is a nice hook, and original, as far as I know. You've done a nice job of hinting at Oliver's dad's past, without explaining anything outright.
You have a nice understanding of comic panel layout and pacing. You're not afraid to leave large chunks of the panel blank, if the content calls for it. (Page 27 for example was very nice.)
I really like your willingness to draw things from weird angles. You have good "camera work", if that's the right word for it. Things like Pika-Ash looking up at the huge-seeming (and foreshortened) Oliver (in page 38) are good stuff, and really help to break up the comic. You are in no danger of falling into the standard "trap" of having a bunch of talking heads each panel that only change minimally.
You also have a nice ability to draw expressive poses. You manage to get a lot of the expression into the whole body, and not just rely on the face to convey emotion. Page 32 for example, you manage to get through a whole page of Ash monologue, without it turning into a boring page. I think the fact that he was in a different pose each frame helped a lot. Things like the ears dropping as realization hit are wonderful touches, and work far better than just a "surprised expression" would have. Well done!
Finally, I've found the writing to be surprisingly good! (Surprisingly, in that I have fairly low expectations these days from fan comics) You have a nice sense of dramatic pacing and timing, and the dialogue doesn't feel forced. I particularly liked at the end of this chapter, the way you managed to hint that Ash might be speaking pika-eese, but managed to completely drive the point home in the final panel. You could have done something really heavy handed ("Haha, you just keep saying Pika Pika!" but with one line ("Pika Pika to you too, little guy" line) you manage to both clinch the fact that Ash is not, in fact communicating after all, AND remind Ash (and the reader) that he is small and vulnerable at the moment as well.
So. Well done! I'm enjoying this a lot, and hope you keep with it! Your art has improved tremendously over the first couple pages too, so I can only imagine what it will be like at the end of THIS chapter. Keep up the good work!
-Zippy
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OH MY GOOOOOOSH SUCH A LONG AND DETAILED REVIEW/CRITIQUE
I LOVE THESE THINGS, THANK YOU SO MUCH
Yeah, the inconsistencies in my art have really been bugging me, too, especially regarding things like anatomy - or even simple things like what the character was wearing on the previous page. I think I'm gonna spend the little break between chapters 1 and 2 making a couple model sheets and doing some anatomy study in hopes to help improve in that regard
A lot of it is just... laziness, too. Often times I'll see the error plainly and just think "Oh, whatever." And post it anyway without fixing it. I need to... not... have that attitude. xD;
Oliver went through a lot of changes in the 2 years I planned this comic before actually posting it, but "person that pokemon just hate" was something that stayed consistent for pretty much his whole existence. 
As for Oliver and Edison's past, the pacing and speed of the reveal is partly based on what kind of comments I get. I can't really tell what is and isn't obvious about their backstory so far since I already know all of it, so it's good to watch people make guesses and predictions, so I can pace the reveals (or throw in red herrings ;D) based on what people think is going on. If something's glaringly obvious, I figure there's no point trying to keep it "secret", so I might as well reveal it and focus on keeping the bigger twists hush-hush ;3
I think you're the first person to comment on my page layouts, and I'm really glad you noticed them. ^^ It can be pretty time-consuming to tweak the drawings and panels on a page to make sure the space is being utilized well to convey time and action. I know a lot of pro artists have to fill a certain page quota and not go over it -- I don't know how they do it x___x
The camera work is both a fun and stressful part of the drawing these pages! When an unusual pose turns out looking great, like on 27, or 38, it's a very good feeling. Actually sitting down and drawing those angles was a pain, haha. But still, in the end, I do enjoy breaking up the page with angles like that for exactly the reason you said - it makes the page more interesting, both for me and (I hope) for the reader.
The thing about body expression is... I'm a very dramatic speaker, so I talk with my whole body, and I just kinda... work that into the comic because it's what looks/feels right to me. Plus, I've got this idea in my head that since comics are a visual medium, the art alone should be able to tell the story with very little dialogue. I want a Japanese or Spanish speaker to be able to look at my comic and know kind of what's going on, even if they can't understand the verbal exposition. :3
I think one thing that really helps is the fact that I don't even write dialogue until I'm halfway done with the page. I'll draw the scene out, and know the kind of things I want the characters to say, but I don't actually write the words down until I've already drawn the poses, since the body language can influence what I think they're saying. ^^ So the ears dropping and all that... it was basically me going "Okay, here is a series of drawings where Ash reacts to being turned into a pikachu. Now what does he say?"
And the writing! I'm glad you like that, too! I'm much more of a writer than I am an artist, so that just gives me the warm fuzzies. ^___^ My personal pacing/storytelling preferences come from years of reading both Manga and Comics and finding a happy medium between both, plus over a decade of fanfic trial and error. Of course, there's always room to improve.
Even for experienced writers, writing dialogue can be really difficult, so someone who isn't used to writing (such as an artist) would have even more difficulty with it xD I must look really crazy when I draw these pages because when I write the dialogue I will act it out and say it to myself to make sure it sounds right. xDDD I'm glad my methods are working!!
Thanks again for taking the time to leave such a long, detailed comment!! ^____^ I really appreciate it!
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Thank YOU for
1) taking a lot of time to make a comic that I am enjoying quite a bit
2) Asking for actual feedback and not just cheerleading. (As someone who has a problem with this myself, I know how hard it can be to hear the less positive feedback, especially about something you are invested in. Even though I usually find that the most valuable, I sometimes have a hard tmie hearing it. :-\ So good on you for actively seeking it out!
Keep up the awesome work!
-Zippy
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Yay for an awesome chapter!
Boo for it being over for now DX
Looking forward to more of these guys.
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Yay! x3 I'm glad you like it!
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HAHAHAHAHA.
That was good.
like I said before, He needs to learn how to quit flapping his gums.
What happens if team rocket and their meowth comes along?
That`d be BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD If he started talking like he just did!
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Haha, well, nothing's happened yet. So he should be safe for now!
...for now >D
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yeah, but still.
he needs some silence training.
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Great work on the dialogue here. And aww, that's pretty cute, Oliver hugging Ashachu, I mean.
Also, I love the shocked expression on Ash's face in the last panel. It's great!! XD
And oh noes! Oliver can't understand Ash! What's he gonna do now?
Poor Ash. He's gotta think of something!! I'd say he needs to do something fast. He needs to take drastic measures to get his message across.
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Yeah, even when he's in terror, Ashachu is adorable x3
I'm sure he'll come though, though!
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Ohhh poor Ash!
Congrats on finishing the first chapter!!! Can't wait to see what happens next!
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HURRAY !! CONGRATULATIONS on a job well done on this chapter !! I'll keep in tune for the next chapter
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THANKS
I hope you'll like it :3
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aw well ^^ cant win em all.
or even some :L
LOVE THE FACE. LOL!
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There will be other chances :3
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Ash is like "oh crap, i'm screwed" in the last panel
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Yep, he's screwed in more ways than one, apparently. XD Let's see, Ash has been turned into a Pikachu, he's been CAUGHT by someone, and now humans are unable to understand him. Ouch. Talk about having a rough time! Ash is going through a lot! O_O
Yeah, things aren't looking good for him, lol. He's got a major dilemma on his hands, or paws, I should say. XD The only question now is, can anyone help him overcome these obstacles that he's facing?
My prediction: Pikachu to the rescue. If anyone can understand that he's really a human and he's, in fact Ash, it's definitely Pikachu. XD
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He sure is going through a lot, but this is Ash we're talking about. Knowing him, he'll find a way to come out on top. ;3
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Hehe, you're right. Ash is very determined. And he never gives up no matter what! Good point!
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Interesting, I've never heard of a person hated by PokΓ©mon. That's rahter original, and I'm gonna see what turns out.
Added to the watch.
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Good, because I've got a lot planned for this that I hope you'll enjoy x3
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I will if you keep it going like you are ^_^
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CONGRATS - FINISHING THE FIRST CHAPTER! *waves*
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Ash is in deep shit now : D
Concrats for completing the first chap~ how many there are gonna be, If I may ask
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I don't know, I haven't planned that far ahead. xD I know what milestones I want to hit, but I haven't divided the entire story into chapters just yet. ;3
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oo, so you do almost like me, Have some plot points in head but just devide the story when it's time to it? :3
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Yeah. This comic is going to be long. This isn't just a quest to get Ash's humanity back, this is an all-out epic story about character development, coming of age and self-discovery (for both Ash and Oliver). Follows the steps of your typical Hero's Journey. ;3
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