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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 05:59:02 +0000 UTC]

Yep, beach took me about two days

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 06:08:38 +0000 UTC]

I gotta train on my skills... Your passing me up like a son-of-a-gun!

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 07:02:49 +0000 UTC]

When carrie runs, she's moves like a bullet out of a cannon.... then lays somewhere for a long time before going again

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 07:10:08 +0000 UTC]

Reminds me of my brother's growth cycle.XD

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 07:11:25 +0000 UTC]

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 07:18:59 +0000 UTC]

Anyway, I'm glad your feeling happy now. Your mood swings can be quite a roller coaster some times.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 07:22:26 +0000 UTC]

Na, there's always a part of me that's dead and growing mushrooms in a dark closet. The happy girl usually likes to hang about though ... I have a couple of problems but their mainly Haruhi related stuff which I now regret making a big deal of

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 07:27:18 +0000 UTC]

Well I hope your happiness lasts for quite a while. But if that dark side ever come around again, you know where to find me if you need help.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 07:33:34 +0000 UTC]

I'd rather not bother you about that whole thing. That usually just results in me become the girl who argued with you before on Caramelluver's page. I learned that the best way to handle your feelings is to never reveal them to someone you know you'll hurt by doing so. 

Besides, I don't ever what to wear that ugly expression again. Back when I was more..... pushoverish

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 07:44:21 +0000 UTC]

In my religion we have a saying: "no matter how crazy things get, God is always in control." But that's just me.

I've said it before, I won't ask for what you can't share. But my door is always open if ever you want to just talk. In the mean time, keep smiling.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 07:47:50 +0000 UTC]

I'll try too, but you know me. My mood swings have made me legend >.>

Not really, I usually don't express sadness outside of the INTERNET world.... People are mean in the real world

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 07:51:26 +0000 UTC]

Not everybody, that's why I exist.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 07:54:11 +0000 UTC]

Everyone has their moments where their mean to someone.... even if they don't intentionally mean it or see the harm in it...

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 08:05:32 +0000 UTC]

That's when forgiveness comes afterwords, then learning to improve on what you experienced.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 08:09:19 +0000 UTC]

Mep, sticks and stones I guess....  I'm working on something related to Haruhi and PMD so sorry if I reply slowly. I've got to bury this whole mate thing before I can chill completely. I don't know why but it's constantly nibbling at the back of my mind and won't let me be.

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 08:11:24 +0000 UTC]

Fine by me. Hope you makes something good that you like.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 08:15:18 +0000 UTC]

The Pmd thing I'm fine with. I'll problity just leave a cruel cliffhanger where HAruhi's suppose to die and leave shortly after. It'll give me a load of grief from people but at least then I won't worry about her ever again. As the message on tumblr I just got says. "I created a junkie character who's complicated and unmatchable" Sad thing, I agree. I guess there's such a thing as being to much of a *excuse my language* bitch when it comes to sucky characters

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 08:27:04 +0000 UTC]

I don't think I have anything to say on the matter. I hope that after this whole thing you'll be able to find some peace.

Still, I hope you don't mind if I pick up where you leave off. I just can't seem to let that part of my imagination go.XD

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 08:35:45 +0000 UTC]

Wow.... just.....wow... Sorry, I've heard more inspiring words from a cereal box.... *eats mini wheats and stares at box*

Sorry, but after the cliffhanger Haruhi's and her gang are going to completely disappear from the world. I'd prefer to bury the hatchet then to simply hand it off. Haruhi has brought me plenty of grief and I'd rather not even see her after I end the story. Of course, I'm still exploring my options but as you know, my mind picks one road and if it doesn't work out it completely shuns it out. It seems only Va-dorah is the only one who really cares....

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 08:56:50 +0000 UTC]

Sorry. I've heard that you've had a lot of people pestering you and encouraging you to do this and that, I figured you had enough of that so I didn't want to add to your stress. I do care for what happens to Haruhi, but I care about how its all effecting you more. I'm sorry if I seem heartless or not caring at all. I'm trying my best, I really am. I just don't know what it is I should say or do in order to make you happy.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 09:03:46 +0000 UTC]

That's the problem, no one does and no one ever will. I'm just to complicated like that.

No on ever gets their way in the world, at least not me. 

And if you really cared you'd know why Haruhi is so important to me. I guess there's a difference between general concern and caring. I've actually decided to push you far away because I always assumed you were just generally concerned. I really just needed people who showed they cared.

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 09:31:27 +0000 UTC]

I don't think you are complicated. And I don't believe that there is not a soul in the world that can understand you.

But if you want me leave, then I'll back off. I just ask that you do one small thing for me. Try picking up a bible someday, you might learn that there actually is someone who cares about you far more than anything else in the world.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 09:37:07 +0000 UTC]

I don't want you to leave.... it's just so frustrating when you don't understand....

I mean, haven't you noticed that every RP that involved Haruhi I've had with you I've ended within four or five comments? I don't want to revert back to Caramelluver101, I know If I RPed with her like before I would screw things up. Especially since I'm irrational. I tend to get attached to things fairly easily. Hence explaining the whole thing with Alex.

As for the bible, I've read it so many times I can probability recite it back to you word by word. I find it better that I have someone who can respond to me care really. It makes me feel..... relaxed if you will

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 09:54:39 +0000 UTC]

Ah I see. I HAVE been kinda connecting our RPs with things you've been having trouble with. Chemise's actions towards her mother sounds like you and your mom for instance.

I'm glad to hear we're still friends. As for me lacking the understanding, there's still hope. I can see how much Haruhi means to you, she's like the closest thing to your heart and helps you cope with your problems if I'm not mistaken. But how she's being portrayed and how others view what your doing with her is forcing you to put her down, but you don't want to because your so connected to her. Am I getting all of this right?

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 10:03:26 +0000 UTC]

Kind of... Haruhi is like a watered down version of me. That's the reason I get so hurt when people call her garbage or unmatchable or to complicated. I put her down because at the moment I feel like that... I often get carried away with her because I feel like maybe things don't have to be painful. But the more I try the more it hurts. 

So I just go with it. You might have noticed I've stopped the whole mate thing. Heck, I think I haven't mentioned it in three months. Mainly because I've already given up

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 10:13:12 +0000 UTC]

I've noticed. But haven't you made your own character for that as well? Though I think you hated making him as well so you must have dropped him too.

Have you ever tried making Haruhi into a person that you want to become as well? I can relate to your connection with Haruhi, its similar to me and my fursona South, and Alex of team Rangers. But i didn't just make them into an exact copy of me, I've also tried making them into a character that I strive to become in real life. What they experience in their stories I use as example on how to improve my real life.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 10:20:40 +0000 UTC]

You mean Aztec? I created him out of desperation and when I realized that I decided it was best that I just put him away. I created him because I felt I was forced to and it made me angry.

I would, but as long as a dark cloud of hate just looms over me I can't. HAruhi and strangely my newest character Ristu are my only way to release what I feel. Though, Ristu is more like my jumpy happy side while Haruhi is the lonely and pain filed version. I always knew that I could never pull Haruhi out of that position on my own because she  follows my emotions

I know it's stupid and I shouldn't put so much into a character that isn't even realistic. I know that copying and pasting my life onto her is cruel and I know that I'm just a pig headed brat for complaining about it..... 

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 10:34:47 +0000 UTC]

Its not stupid when you realize that your not making Haruhi to form a cool story for people to read, you made her to help vent yourself, and from that she becomes different value than a mere character.

Talking to you and RPing with Chemise, it constantly helps me get a better understanding of who I'm talking to. I'm starting to get curious as to what kind of "darkness" hides deep within you and why hasn't there been anything up to now that would help you.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 10:43:51 +0000 UTC]

People don't help me because they don't know how I feel. Even though I'm only 16, I already work full time and pay bills to help my family... I know that if I let myself be weak, even for a minute, everything would just fall apart.

I thought that if Haruhi found the one thing she needed to get her free from her own darkness maybe it would give me motivation to do the same. But trying to do so has just pumped more of it into me....

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 10:54:10 +0000 UTC]

That's tough, I can't even begin to imagine.

Maybe your going at it the wrong way?

I've been trying to help Haruhi find her freedom ever since I found out. But my only method of closure can't be used because you won't let me... Sometimes maybe the best option is to break a few rules,(no lawful rules, but you get the idea) turn the world upside down so that you can live right side up. but that's just my brain stormer running, I don't even KNOW how that would help at all...

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 11:01:48 +0000 UTC]

South... I want her free... but the only ways I find don't satisfy me.... 

I worked on this story for almost three years now... breaking the laws of something I worked hard to create is like shooting myself in my own foot. I looked over each little detail like a jeweler with a gem stone.

Like I told you when this whole mess began back on my Caramelluver101's page. Haruhi's only hope lies in my tolerance of the horrible people around me in my real life. And another thing you know very well....

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South-Williams In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-26 11:10:20 +0000 UTC]

Then I'll pray as hard as can that you'll find what your looking for. And I know God will do whatever He can too to give you peace as well.

Sorry about this whole conversation crippling your good night. I guess it'd be best if we stop here for now. Thanks for putting up with me, my stupidity, and my stupid rambling.

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Mimkage In reply to South-Williams [2013-07-26 11:12:33 +0000 UTC]

Again... I guess I'll just find someone who is willing to help me...... bye

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Mimkage In reply to ZonnyBrown [2013-07-23 03:31:17 +0000 UTC]

It's alright, I like doing stuff like this

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ZonnyBrown In reply to Mimkage [2013-07-23 19:31:33 +0000 UTC]

hahaha thats wonderful to hear ^w^

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Mimkage In reply to Arsenikira [2013-07-23 03:31:32 +0000 UTC]

Of course, it's a beach part XD

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