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Published: 2013-09-06 15:12:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 3760; Favourites: 54; Downloads: 4
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Description
Knockout ...You're going to a hunt with a paranormal psychopath .
Good luck to you .
tdarciuboltr.deviantart.com/ar… <----- Previous and next ----->tdarciuboltr.deviantart.com/ar…
*thanks to and for grammar help
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Comments: 15
Puddathere [2014-01-02 04:00:23 +0000 UTC]
Looks like all that confidence from the last page all left from knockout XD
Your last to speech bubbles dont match
"But no... This time, I'll defeat Airachnid. I'll not lose again"
"LOST!!"<---Shouldn't it be lose?
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Misstridd In reply to Puddathere [2014-01-02 15:11:37 +0000 UTC]
Uh yes sorry it'll be lose My bad sorry XD
Darcie makes him cry XD
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Puddathere In reply to Misstridd [2014-01-03 07:15:40 +0000 UTC]
Rofl poor Knockers XD
My bad I found another sentence that might need some checking(doing theses 3am probably doesn't help xD): "They poison or paralyze their prey before to eat."--> Just add "they" instead of to. Makes a little more sense
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Misstridd In reply to Puddathere [2014-01-03 10:49:03 +0000 UTC]
Oh yeah thanks again
I'll correct it tonight
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LumeraLightstar [2013-09-06 19:41:14 +0000 UTC]
The way you draw transformers is amazing! Remeber if Knockout and Darcie need help hunting spiders they can always ask Lumera! XD
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pika [2013-09-06 18:29:14 +0000 UTC]
"We are in the woods again?" To be somewhere, they are in the forest.
"paralyze their prey before eating them." would make more sense.
If it's Prime's spiderfemme, her name is Airachnid, not Arachnid.
"It'll be a tough hunt!" not hard. Hard is more a physical property and tough would describe how difficult it is.
"I'll win Airachnid." makes little sense, thus instead of "winning", it should be "defeat". As in "This time I'll defeat Airachnid." No commas in the sentence.
The last sentence makes no sense in its current form, but I assume the purple character doesn't want to lose again, so I'd change it to: "I will not lose again."
With that I have no idea to what Knock Out is supposed to react. To her loss which would mean KO is shocked that she has lost against Airachnid earlier? That she's not going to lose?
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Misstridd In reply to pika [2013-09-07 12:20:18 +0000 UTC]
First of all thank you so much for your help :3 I am grateful :3
Darcie is talking about lost a death game against to Airachnid in her past . So, Knockout thinks he's the next victim (sorry for my english
)
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pika In reply to Misstridd [2013-09-08 06:56:54 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome. Oh, a death game? If one loses, doesn't it mean they'll lose their life?
Unless of course something happens and death never comes! Poor Knock Out, I bet he's more worried over his finish getting damaged than his life.
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ejderha13 [2013-09-06 17:18:09 +0000 UTC]
*_*Woods in first panel!!!! great! teach me !!! and ıts getting exciting!
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