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Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

You stared at your sister's sick air guitar skills in awe. Never before had you seen such.. beauty? You weren't too sure if that was a good enough description, but you nodded to yourself that it worked. Dipping out of there and into the kitchen, you begin to unload your Sweet Loot from its plastic confines. Two big ol' bottles of apple juice, a couple different candies, there's, like, half a donut 'cause you have no self control, two other pure and unscathed donuts, and beef jerky?? You kinda just grabbed whatever called to you. And boys like beef jerky, right? That's a fine Man Snack, right? Right?? Whatever, it's lit.So lit in fact, you gotta tell Dave. You send him a pic of all this loot. Ten minutes later, when you're stuffing your face with cereal, he replies.

"its lit"

'Course it is.

So lit in fact, ya gotta tell sis, who hasn't bothered you at all since you walked in. Probably too tired from all that shredding.

"Sis," you manage out mid-chew, "I gotta buttload of stuff... Do boys like beef jerky??"

"Uhm, yeah!? I think so? Beef jerky is totally a boy thing. They fight Sasquatch for those, don't they? Maybe we can ask that boys brother! He'd totally fight Sasquatch.."

You hang your head, almost into your bowl. It just keeps getting more apparent that you and sis- maybe mainly you, who knows- aren't very good with boys?? You're getting paranoid now, and over beef jerky too. But now you've gotta know. You gotta ask Rose.

-----

Okay, she pretty much said something along the lines of, "Even if most boys like beef jerky, that doesn't mean Dave will, also, why is this your top concern when you should be," blah blah, and you screamed a little. There isn't even a set day for him to come over, and ya already bought all these damn snacks?? You're going to eat them before he even gets here, you monster.

"___, Dave's coming over tonight."

What kind of fanfic circumstances are these?? It's like the imaginary writer of your damn life had no idea what day it was in the story anymore, and just settled on "today" being a completely okay time for Dave to come by?? It's like this is all just bs to further a slowly crippling plot that your godlike author is struggling to tape together, almost as if this is their first day back writing in, like, two and a half years, or something shitty like that! Some poor kid, now adult, who started this damn thing when they were like, fifteen and bored out of their mind, with a preposterously horrid update schedule, writing style, and story line that they wish they could just burn because, DAMN-- Alright, you're going overboard with this whole existential crises, so you quickly get outta that spot in your mind.
But honestly, what the hell?

"How's an hour for ya?"

This is a god damn prank.

"A-an hour!? Sis, what are you doing to me!? I-I have to shower, I have to feed the cat, I have to-to.. THINGS!? ALL THESE THINGS??"

Sis only stares at you. "I was kidding."

"I'M DYING."

You're not, and she knows it.

"___, go shower and, like, go to bed. You're crazy if you think I'm crazy enough to let a boy I barely know sleep over in my apartment, with my baby, on such short notice. Yeah, I don't care if you have a boy over, or if he does sleep over,DOWN THE ROAD, since, like.. Y'know, you guys are, like, ten or something. And I know just kissing is spooky to you, so I know I've got nothing to worry about with you. You're a good kid."

"I'm touched."

"Not yet! And not anytime soon!" Sis grins, and you follow suit. "But, honestly," she continues, "go the fuck to bed."

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

You stared at your sister's sick air guitar skills in awe. Never before had you seen such.. beauty? You weren't too sure if that was a good enough description, but you nodded to yourself that it worked. Dipping out of there and into the kitchen, you begin to unload your Sweet Loot from its plastic confines. Two big ol' bottles of apple juice, a couple different candies, there's, like, half a donut 'cause you have no self control, two other pure and unscathed donuts, and beef jerky?? You kinda just grabbed whatever called to you. And boys like beef jerky, right? That's a fine Man Snack, right? Right?? Whatever, it's lit.So lit in fact, you gotta tell Dave. You send him a pic of all this loot. Ten minutes later, when you're stuffing your face with cereal, he replies.

"its lit"

'Course it is.

So lit in fact, ya gotta tell sis, who hasn't bothered you at all since you walked in. Probably too tired from all that shredding.

"Sis," you manage out mid-chew, "I gotta buttload of stuff... Do boys like beef jerky??"

"Uhm, yeah!? I think so? Beef jerky is totally a boy thing. They fight Sasquatch for those, don't they? Maybe we can ask that boys brother! He'd totally fight Sasquatch.."

You hang your head, almost into your bowl. It just keeps getting more apparent that you and sis- maybe mainly you, who knows- aren't very good with boys?? You're getting paranoid now, and over beef jerky too. But now you've gotta know. You gotta ask Rose.

-----

Okay, she pretty much said something along the lines of, "Even if most boys like beef jerky, that doesn't mean Dave will, also, why is this your top concern when you should be," blah blah, and you screamed a little. There isn't even a set day for him to come over, and ya already bought all these damn snacks?? You're going to eat them before he even gets here, you monster.

"___, Dave's coming over tonight."

What kind of fanfic circumstances are these?? It's like the imaginary writer of your damn life had no idea what day it was in the story anymore, and just settled on "today" being a completely okay time for Dave to come by?? It's like this is all just bs to further a slowly crippling plot that your godlike author is struggling to tape together, almost as if this is their first day back writing in, like, two and a half years, or something shitty like that! Some poor kid, now adult, who started this damn thing when they were like, fifteen and bored out of their mind, with a preposterously horrid update schedule, writing style, and story line that they wish they could just burn because, DAMN-- Alright, you're going overboard with this whole existential crises, so you quickly get outta that spot in your mind.
But honestly, what the hell?

"How's an hour for ya?"

This is a god damn prank.

"A-an hour!? Sis, what are you doing to me!? I-I have to shower, I have to feed the cat, I have to-to.. THINGS!? ALL THESE THINGS??"

Sis only stares at you. "I was kidding."

"I'M DYING."

You're not, and she knows it.

"___, go shower and, like, go to bed. You're crazy if you think I'm crazy enough to let a boy I barely know sleep over in my apartment, with my baby, on such short notice. Yeah, I don't care if you have a boy over, or if he does sleep over,DOWN THE ROAD, since, like.. Y'know, you guys are, like, ten or something. And I know just kissing is spooky to you, so I know I've got nothing to worry about with you. You're a good kid."

"I'm touched."

"Not yet! And not anytime soon!" Sis grins, and you follow suit. "But, honestly," she continues, "go the fuck to bed."