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Published: 2012-12-18 00:54:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 7189; Favourites: 124; Downloads: 117
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"And tomorrow we'll install the kitchen cabinets along this wall here," the man gestured into the adjacent room.My mother nodded in agreement as the construction contractor spoke. All the while, I sat slouched in boredom against the unpainted drywall of my newly-constructed home, my eyes wandering around the unborn living room as I searched for something, anything, to pique my interest. I desperately prayed for any form of entertainment or distraction, but the room loomed in desolate quietness. The scruffy man with my mother turned and stretched his hand out towards the wall directly across from me, redressing the cryptically dull conversation into that of the addition of a new fireplace. I gave another sigh of boredom and rested my small chin on top of my crossed arms. But just then, salvation presented itself to me in the form of a slight glinting atop the nearby counter dividing the two rooms.
I returned my gaze to my mother, who still stood with her back to me, nodding on occasion. So as not to draw attention to myself, I silently got to my feet and stepped to the source of the shimmer. I had to stand on the tips of my toes to reach it, but after much perseverance and stretching, I finally felt the frosted touch of metal against my tiny fingertips. It was my mother's car key—a jagged silver sliver tipped with an ebony rubber grip. For the next few minutes, my mother and the contractor continued their conversation as I fascinated myself with the alien object, playing with it between my hands.
As any child would, I soon grew bored with the things, shiny though they were, and carelessly shoved them into my pocket, listening to the faint jingle they made. After checking to ensure my mother's attention was still elsewhere, I turned and ran down the entrance hall as noiselessly as possible, searching for a new source of amusement; namely, exploration.
I soon found that the house was astonishingly dull, deserted and dreary with its absence of furniture. I wandered around the house aimlessly until my imagination eventually kicked in.
The imagination of a child is a curious and powerful thing, so much so that it must be extinguished before one reaches adulthood. Within each room, I became lost in a new corner of my own mind. I was an explorer in the foyer, which had distorted into a magnificent jungle; I was a cowboy in the desert of the dining room; I was an astronaut amongst the craters of the study; and lastly, I was a racecar driver in the cramped laundry room at the rear of the house. The race was about to begin.
I sat on the bitter linoleum, clutching an invisible steering wheel firmly in my fists. I could hear the jubilant cheers of the crowd, feel the faint hum of the seat beneath me, and see the referee as he raised a microphone to his face.
"Racers—START YOUR ENGINES!"
I retrieved my mother's keys from the depths of my pocket, bringing the thin metal strip closer and closer to the hungry, vivid scarlet slot. As soon as the metal tip met the gaping trench, it was swallowed whole.
The mirage surrounding me shattered to pieces, replaced with a sharp sensation I had never felt before. My nerves cried out in pain, and my hand trembled violently, all before my brain could comprehend what was happening.
To a child, electricity is an enigma—an invisible force with no physical presence and magic-like properties. A child cannot comprehend the sheer lethality of 250 volts of pure, unrestrained energy. I sat there for what felt like ages, my body vibrating, twitching and convulsing frantically. All the while, my fingers remained glued to the key. Try as I might to pry them open, it was useless. My hands had gone completely numb, incapable of responding to wave after wave of distress messages flowing from my brain. My head was splitting, my brain screaming relentlessly in response to every nerve's plea. Let go; relax your hand; release your grip; do it! And then, a message I had never heard before—one so primal, it rose above all the others and shouted from the farthest reaches of my mind.
You're going to die.
My stomach churned over, and I could feel the stir of nausea rise to my throat. Tears streamed forth from my eyes. Suddenly, as if of its own free will, my hand lurched from the key's hilt, leaving behind a painful, screeching trail before collapsing to the floor in exhaustion.
I clasped the lifeless hand in the fingers of its brother and sat there, my face a snow white with eyes wide and watering. The key remained clasped in the jaws of the power outlet, trembling and jittering in terror as it was eaten alive, wedged in the beast's left tooth. As soon as my legs would allow, I leapt to my feet and fled the room crying.
Retracing my path, I sprinted to the room where my mother and the contractor still stood. A wave of ecstatic relief washed over me, and I finally felt safe once more. My mother turned when she heard me approaching, and gave a start of surprise when I clung to her leg, burying my face against her thigh. As I whimpered into the cloth of her pants, she looked down at me with a look of concern and confusion, exchanging glances with the equally perplexed man at her side. When my voice finally returned to me, I tipped my head back, stared up at her with eyes still watering, and explained all that had happened to the best of my ability:
"Mommy, it bit me!"
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Comments: 74
MadelineBelleVe [2013-06-27 15:46:34 +0000 UTC]
There are so many techniques that are really hard to blend especially based on the simplicity of your theme, but the simplicity and imagination put in gives readers a mix of emotions.
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Nemononiam [2013-02-21 01:11:08 +0000 UTC]
I think this is my...third comment on this one, but I had to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!
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i8magic [2013-02-14 07:02:00 +0000 UTC]
The imagery in this piece is great. I very much felt like I was there with you!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to i8magic [2013-02-21 00:55:59 +0000 UTC]
I always felt like I had a problem with excess details and imagery, so it's very relieving to hear that! Thanks so much!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to Monster-Monger [2013-02-21 00:55:24 +0000 UTC]
Sometimes one word is enough. Thanks so much for reading!
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ToddNTheShiningSword [2013-02-14 03:29:34 +0000 UTC]
Did your mom find out what bit you when she couldn't find her keys?
You got zapped by one of those extra large outlets too, didn't you? Like the ones an electric stove plugs into, and not the regular American ones people picture?
It's really amazing the way you really captured the perspective of a child. Only the best can write like that.
Know what else is amazing? Your quote:
"The imagination of a child is a curious and powerful thing, so much so that it must be extinguished before one reaches adulthood."
That is the most amazing quote I've heard in the past five years, for sure. I'm memorizing it.
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MWBlueWolf In reply to ToddNTheShiningSword [2013-02-21 00:58:20 +0000 UTC]
Wow, I never thought I would be able to write something quote-worthy. All of your kind words are very encouraging and appreciated; I'm glad you liked the story! ^_^
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ToddNTheShiningSword In reply to MWBlueWolf [2013-02-21 09:05:02 +0000 UTC]
By the way, this Reply is going in my Comments-to-Keep Folder of my Inbox for a while, to help make sure I memorize the quote!
You didn't tell us if your poor mother ever found out you almost died or not!
One time I thought I was going to die as a kid because in the middle of the night, that plate in the back of your mouth that keeps food out of your lungs snapped shut and wouldn't open, so I woke up alone in a panic because I couldn't breathe, and I was running around and it wouldn't open. And then when I was a little kid, like 6, I used to sneak out of the house when my mom wasn't looking and run through the park in nothing but my underwear and she never found out because apparently I was as good as sneaking as a 6-year-old as I am at Sneaking in Skyrim now! !
Then eventually, as an adult, I told my mom these things, so she wouldn't be in the dark her whole life. Did you tell your mom about your wild childhood experience?
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MWBlueWolf In reply to ToddNTheShiningSword [2013-02-22 00:06:33 +0000 UTC]
My mother found out, mainly because the contractor discovered the key in the electrical socket. I don't know what happened next, but I assume it wasn't fun to remove...
And most of my wild childhood experiences my mother knew about. Probably because I was bad at keeping secrets, and because she was normally the designated driver for the emergency room.
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ToddNTheShiningSword In reply to MWBlueWolf [2013-02-22 00:49:01 +0000 UTC]
And the key was melted all the way up, like the story suggested, right? Must've been a real mess getting it out... unless removing those outlets from the wall for fixing is easy.
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aztecmoose [2013-02-14 03:16:35 +0000 UTC]
Scary D: but it's such a good piece I felt as if I were you, doing all the exploring, and then getting "bit."
I never got electrocuted as a child, other than this one minor shock.... unless I don't remember.
I was swinging tinsel around and around then it hit the television, and.. my whole hand jolted, it was funny actually, I had no idea whether to be hurt, mad, scared [or whatever you can be like...]
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MWBlueWolf In reply to aztecmoose [2013-02-21 00:54:42 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so much, I'm glad you were able to immerse yourself in my writing. It means I'm doing at least something right.
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gothdra [2013-02-14 02:48:27 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on the devitation and a good piece of writing :3 I never got electrocuted when I was little though but I burned myself on a hot iron Kids do weird sometimes stupid things but I guess that is one of the charms with being a kid
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MWBlueWolf In reply to gothdra [2013-02-21 00:52:27 +0000 UTC]
You learn about pain when young, and then continue to reinforce the lessons throughout life!
I had a similar encounter of the burning variety. I didn't understand how heat worked, and although I knew fire was hot, I did not know that the glass sheet in front of my grandfather's fireplace could be just as hot!
I learned quickly. :I
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PearlsCat [2013-02-14 02:24:09 +0000 UTC]
I really loved this, well done. The electrocution part was so raw--I could've sworn it was me being electrocuted.
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MWBlueWolf In reply to PearlsCat [2013-02-21 00:49:59 +0000 UTC]
I was always concerned that I put too much imagery into those sorts of parts, so this is really encouraging! Thank you so much for your feedback!
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PastMisfortunes [2013-02-14 02:16:28 +0000 UTC]
This reminds me of the time my little cousin got pinched by a crab at the beach, and when we asked her what was wrong, she sobbed, "That crab just bit me!"
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MWBlueWolf In reply to PastMisfortunes [2013-02-21 00:48:39 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, that sounds like something my sister did as well. My mother doesn't have the brightest of children. :3
And thank you for the comment!
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PastMisfortunes In reply to MWBlueWolf [2013-02-21 02:44:11 +0000 UTC]
Neither does mine. xD
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Moogirl12121 [2013-02-14 01:17:55 +0000 UTC]
XD omg that was funny. Scary, but funny! XD XD XD
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Moogirl12121 In reply to MWBlueWolf [2013-02-22 22:49:03 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome! And here I was thinking it was a vampire story! XD
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CatalystSpark [2013-02-13 23:25:01 +0000 UTC]
Am I one of the only people who didn't get curious about electrical sockets and shock myself due to it as a child? Then again I did have a run in with an electric fence like 3 times (Running kid+small electrified wire = THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL!) and watch my uncle shock the hell out of himself more times than I care to count (Clumsy electrition is a humorous thing) so I learned early on that electricity isn't the kindest play partner XD.
Either way though, this was kind of a cute read!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to CatalystSpark [2013-02-21 00:47:11 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the feedback! And that's quite an interesting tale.
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OfOneSoul [2013-02-13 23:19:00 +0000 UTC]
Congratulations, my dear! This piece certainly deserved it!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to OfOneSoul [2013-02-21 00:45:53 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so so so so much!
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iAmoret [2013-02-13 21:45:14 +0000 UTC]
Aah, yes, I did something like that once- fortunately I fell backwards and my hand removed itself before any damage was done.
I also know a guy who stuck the end of a fork into an electric outlet.... twice.
Congrats on the DD!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to iAmoret [2013-02-21 00:45:07 +0000 UTC]
I'm not sure how one could experience electrocution and then have the guts to go in for a second try later. O.o
And thank you so much for the congratulations, it really means a lot!
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AndrewJr2014 [2013-02-13 17:02:28 +0000 UTC]
Well done getting on the Daily Deviation!
I really like this story. You are able to speak from a child's point of view... Why are you here? Your job should be an author; not an artist!!!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to AndrewJr2014 [2013-02-21 00:33:16 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the compliment! I like to dwell in the writing-oriented groups of dA. In my opinion, this site has one of the greatest communities on the web.
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MWBlueWolf In reply to Lintu47 [2013-02-21 00:33:47 +0000 UTC]
And I hope you have a nice day, too. Thanks so much for the compliment!
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Gryffgirl [2013-02-13 12:20:12 +0000 UTC]
What I love about this story is that you are able to not only recover your child memory, but also relate in a child's voice. This is an incredibly difficult way to write as an adult and you've pulled it off beautifully. Congratulations on your DD!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to Gryffgirl [2013-02-21 00:36:21 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I never knew I was any good at writing from a child's perspective. In all honesty, I'm not sure if I had ever tried it before. I appreciate the compliments more than you realize.
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Jade-Pandora [2013-02-13 11:48:33 +0000 UTC]
I love writing about my own childhood, the tellings which are posted on dA and it's like deja vu to read your piece as if I had written it about myself! Well done, and congratulations on the Daily D!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to Jade-Pandora [2013-02-21 00:37:17 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! I'm really glad you were able to relate to it.
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Miyori999 [2013-02-13 10:06:03 +0000 UTC]
My mother has stupid children. All three of us have been electrocuted. But an ordinary house socket won't kill you I don't think. At least we all took it as a unspoken, unhinted-at right of passage of a four-year-old, and survived 'til the youngest of us is now 17. Or were you describing another sort of socket besides a house socket?
Well written piece to describe the world of curiosity that all children experience. Curiosity killed the cat, and electrocuted a few toddlers.
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MWBlueWolf In reply to Miyori999 [2013-02-21 00:42:40 +0000 UTC]
I knew I wasn't the only one who had electrocuted themselves as a kid, it's good to hear other stories similar to mine. And yes, normally your average electrical socket isn't lethal, but this was a heavy-duty socket intended for washing machines. Had I known how to read, I probably would have taken notice of the large "WARNING HIGH VOLTAGE" markings.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting on my story, I really appreciate it!
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ToddNTheShiningSword In reply to Miyori999 [2013-02-14 03:15:40 +0000 UTC]
I might be wrong and I'm not the author, but I bet since it was the laundry room, the outlet was scarlet, and it was 250 volts, I don't think it was a regular outlet! It sounds like the jumbo sized ones like the kind you might have in the kitchen if you have an electric stove. Those have twice the juice regular sockets have!
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MWBlueWolf In reply to ToddNTheShiningSword [2013-02-21 00:39:28 +0000 UTC]
Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!
Yes, it was one of those huge "eff off" sockets intended for washing machines; and yes, I probably should have died! Hurray for child-like stupidity!
On a different note, thank you so much for reading my story!
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ToddNTheShiningSword In reply to MWBlueWolf [2013-02-21 09:10:37 +0000 UTC]
Wow. I made to sure to reference this in a Comment because I didn't think you'd see it as a Reply, since the Reply wasn't directed at you, you Artist's Comment says your Journal will say that you're too busy, and people who get Daily Deviations usually get flooded with Comments.
Well, it's good you scanned your page too, on top of your Inbox, to see the side replies and conversations also
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xlntwtch [2013-02-13 09:21:33 +0000 UTC]
...there you have it, a DD to show you how wonderful non-fiction by you can be. Already fav'd. Thanks.
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MWBlueWolf In reply to xlntwtch [2013-02-21 00:31:06 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! You have no idea how grateful I am.
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