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Negaduck9 — Springaling 304: Tastes just like...
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Published: 2017-12-16 22:17:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 17722; Favourites: 239; Downloads: 17
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Description
Previous: Next: First:I would have titled this comic "Beggars can't be Choosers," except Springtrap would have taken offense. He's at pains to point out that he did not beg.
"Spattlecock" is a way of cooking poultry, and is also called "spatchcock" or "butterfly." To do this, take a pair of kitchen shears and cut the backbone out, then press the bird flat and (optionally) remove the breastbone from inside. It will cook in about half time time. Here's Rachel Ray's description of the process .
By the way, this "pigeon cuisine" bit was inspired by a scene in the book Hannibal. Barney (the custodian in Hannibal's old prison wing) sees a pigeon hit by a car. He stops traffic to get the bird. He puts it down by the road for a bit, to let its mate see that it's dead and give it a little time to mourn, then takes the bird home to cook it. Very pragmatic man, that Barney. Part of this made it into the movie, if memory serves.
*****
Panel 1:
Puppet: But why PIGEONS? Aren't they, um, dirty?
Springtrap: Ever get a good look at a pig?
Panel 2:
Springtrap: And before you get any funny ideas, no, I did not get a sick thrill out of hunting pigeons. I was just feeding myself.
Not everyone can just reach into the fridge for a snack any time they want!
Panel 3:
Puppet: I...see. I think I see. I'm sorry, it's just hard to imagine, eating pigeon.
Springtrap: Don't knock it. Cooked spattlecock over a camp stove, it's not half bad.
Panel 4:
Springtrap: Hey, In France they eat snails and frogs. Compared to that, pigeon is practically fried chicken.
*****
Chinese Mandarin by
Springaling 304: ...嘎嘣脆
Panel 1:
Puppet: 但是為什麼是*鴿子*？它們不是，額，很髒嗎？
Springtrap: 有見過豬走路的樣子嗎？
Panel 2:
Springtrap: 而且在你開始奇思幻想之前，不，我對捕獵鴿子沒有什麼病態的感受。我只是在充飢。
不是每個人都可以隨時把手伸進冰箱吃一口東西的！
Panel 3:
Puppet: 我...知道了。我想是的。我很抱歉，這想象起來有點困難，吃鴿子什麼的。
Springtrap: 別批判。在野營爐上烤一烤，一點也不壞。
Panel 4:
Springtrap: 嘿，中國還吃變黑了的鴨蛋呢。比起那個，鴿子基本上就是炸雞了。
*****
CZECH/ČEŠTINA by
Springaling 304: Chutná jako...
Panel 1:
Puppet: Ale proč HOLUBI? Nejsou no...špinaví?
Springtrap: Podíval ses někdy dobře na prase?
Panel 2:
Springtrap: A než tě začnou napadat nějaké vtípky, ne, neměl jsem žádné zvrácené potěšení ze zabíjení holubů. Jen jsem se snažil uživit.
Ne všichni si mohou dojít k ledničce, kdy chtějí, a vzít si něco k snědku!
Panel 3:
Puppet: Chá-pu. Asi chápu. Promiň, je jen těžké si představit pojídat holuba.
Springtrap: Nesuď to. Vařený ptáček přes kempová kamna není ani z poloviny tak zlý.
Panel 4:
Springtrap: Hele, ve Francii jí šneky a žáby. Když to srovnám s tím, holub je jako pečené kuře.
*****
Dutch/Nederlands by
Springaling 304: Het meest veelzijdige stukje vlees
Panel 1:
Puppet: Maar waarom nou DUIVEN? Zijn ze niet, eh, vies?
Springtrap: Ooit een varken gezien?
Panel 2:
Springtrap: En voordat je het vraagt: Nee, ik vond het geen zieke sensatie om dieren te doden. Ik moest gewoon eten zien te regelen.
Niet iedereen kan, wanneer dan ook, een snack pakken uit de koelkast!
Panel 3:
Puppet: Ik snap het... denk ik. Sorry, ik vind het gewoon zo raar om voor te stellen.
Springtrap: Je hoeft het niet te beoordelen, hoor. Als je het boven een kampvuur kookt, is het zo slecht nog niet.
Panel 4:
Springtrap: En in Frankrijk eten ze slakken en kikkers. Vergeleken daarbij is duif net zo goed als kip.
*****
Français/French by
Springaling 304: Ça à un goût comparable à...
Case 1:
Puppet: Mais pourquoi des PIGEONS? Ne sont t'ils pas , hum, sale?
Springtrap: As tu déjà jeté un oeil à un cochon ?
Case 2:
Springtrap: Et avant que tu commence à avoir des idées drôles , non, je n'ai pas un frisson maladif en chassant des pigeons. Je ne faisais juste que me nourrir .
Tout le monde ne peut pas aller vers le frigo pour aller chercher de quoi grignoter à n'importe quel moment qu'ils veulent !
Case 3:
Puppet: Je...vois. Je pense que je vois. Je suis désolé, c'est juste difficile d'imaginer , manger des piegons.
Springtrap: Ne critique pas. Un coq grillé autour d'un feu de camp ,ce n'est pas à moitié mauvais .
Case 4:
Springtrap: Hé, En France ils mangent des escargots et des grenouilles. Comparé à ça, un pigeon est pratiquement un poulet grillé.
*****
Portuguese/Português by
Springaling 304: Tem gosto de...
Panel 1:
Puppet: Mas por que POMBOS? Eles não são, bem, sujos?
Springtrap: Já deu uma boa olhada num porco?
Panel 2:
Springtrap: E antes que tenha algumas ideias engraçadas, não, eu não tinha nenhuma emoção caçando pombos. Eu só estava me alimentando.
Nem todo mundo pode só pegar um lanche na geladeira a hora que quiser!
Panel 3:
Puppet: Eu... entendo. Eu acho que entendo. Me desculpe, é só difícil de imaginar, comendo pombos.
Springtrap: Não critique. Cozinhar pássaro desossado na fogueira, não é tão ruim.
Panel 4:
Springtrap: Ei, na França eles comem caracóis e sapos. Comparado a isso, pombos são como frangos assados.
*****
Russian/Русский by
Спрингалинг 304: На вкус как...
Кадр 1:
Марионетка: Но почему ГОЛУБИ? Разве они не, эм, грязнули?
Спрингтрап: Ты свинью хоть раз-то видел?
Кадр 2:
Спрингтрап: И прежде чем ты себе чего-нибудь нафатазируешь, нет, я не наслаждался убийством голубей. Я просто кормил себя.
Не все могут залезть в холодильник, когда они этого захотят!
Кадр 3:
Марионетка: Я... понимаю. Думаю, что понимаю. Прости, мне просто трудно представить, какого это, есть голубя.
Спрингтрап: Не осуждай этого. Это почти тоже самое, что готовить мясо птицы на гриле.
Кадр 4:
Спрингтрап: Знаешь, во Франции едят улиток и лягушек. По сравнению с этим, голубь на вкус почти как жареная курица.
*****
Spanish/Español by
Springaling 304: Sabe cómo a...
Panel 1:
Puppet: ¿Pero porqué PALOMAS? ¿Acaso no son, emm, sucias?
Springtrap: ¿Alguna vez le echaste un buen vistazo a un cerdo?
Panel 2:
Springtrap: Y antes de que tengas alguna idea rara, no, no sentía una enferma emoción en cazar palomas. Solamente me alimentaba.
¡No todos pueden solo meter la mano al refrigerador y sacar un aperitivo cada vez que quieran!
Panel 3:
Puppet: Ya...veo. Creo que entiendo. Lo lamento, solo es difícil de imaginar, estar comiendo palomas.
Springtrap: No lo critiques. Cocinado deshuesado sobre una estufa de campamento no esta tan mal.
Panel 4:
Springtrap: Hey, en Francia comen caracoles y ranas. Comparado a eso, una paloma es prácticamente pollo asado.
*****
Swedish by
Springaling 304: Smakar precis som...
Panel 1:
Puppet: Men varför DUVOR? Är inte dem, ehm, smutsiga?
Springtrap: Har du någonsin tagit en bra titt på en gris?
Panel 2:
Springtrap: Och innan du får några konstiga idéer, nej, jag fick inte en sjuk rusch av att jaga duvor. Jag matade bara mig själv.
Det är inte alla som bara kan sträcka sig in i kylskåpet efter ett mellanmål när som helst!
Panel 3:
Puppet: Jag... förstår. Jag tror jag förstår. Jag ber om ursäkt, det är bara svårt att föreställa sig, att äta duvor.
Springtrap: Kritisera det inte. Grillad fågel över ett fältkök, det är inte hälften så dåligt.
Panel 4:
Springtrap: Hallå, i Frankrike så äter dem sniglar och grodor. Jämfört med det så är duvor praktiskt taget friterad kyckling.
Related content
Comments: 79
this has inspired me to share a tale. I'm an okay hunter, but I'm good at catching birds by hand. If I make a new friend, I'll catch a bird and offer it to them. No one has accepted my bird offerings yet
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I can legitimately say I've eaten squab during times of poverty. Though you have to catch a lot to get a decent meal. Once you get rid of the fat, skin, guts, and feathers, there's not much left.
Also, you cook it right and it's goddamn delicious.
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From what I've heard about how squab pigeons are raised, it sounds like bird veal.
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Meh, not enough meat and just a pitiful slab of fat. Still, gotta respect Bob for actually taking his limited resources as far as food went in his stride.
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Me: Exactly! ...Although I would like to try some escargot sometime...
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I tried it, though I didn’t realize it was snails until my parents told me
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Lol. That was me the first time my dad gave me freshwater eel. It's really oily, so I wouldn't recommend it.
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Pigeon is actually quite tasty, must agree! Tastes like a slightly gamey chicken (though it may depend on where you got the pigeon and what it's diet is lol)
Ian, sweety, they also eat horse meat in France. Spring here is literally Heroic Good in this case XD
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My god... How did you research...- ?
Oh well never mind. I don´t wanna know.
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Okay, but Springbob's got a point, in that last panel. I'd rather eat a pigeon that frogs or snails. O_O NOPE! Hype up frog legs all you want, I ain't about it!
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I've had them. To be honest, they reminded me of chicken dark meat, but skinnier and a little greasier.
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Eugh. :/ I'm still scrunchin' ma nose at it. 
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My friend and sister just realized something,
Puppet always looks like he's gasping for air.
BREATH PUPPET, BREATH!!! YOU'LL MAKE IT THIS ALIVE!!!! wait. he's dead
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In France, we also eat pigeons. Roast. It is pretty good, if well feeded. Test in between Duck, Faisan and Quail.
It is pretty good with cooked fruit or wine berry sauce.
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I know that in some places pigeon is a regular game bird. What kind of pigeons? Are they the same kind that live in the cities, or another breed?
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Another breed. The white one. But they are pretty similar to the city one. Except that they are well fed, and don't fly too much, so their meat are tender.
Even though their isn't much to eat. (And yes I had a few times pigeon in my life. I still prefer duck or quail.)
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Are the pigeons very young? Full size, but not yet flying? In the US we call that squab.
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No they are full grown pigeon. They just don’t fly much. Squab would be pigeonneau, which is the term for young pigeon in French.
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I feel like Spring has attempted to open a KFP (Kentucky Fried Pigeon) before.
Multiple times.
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Nah. He might put 'em on a pizza for old times, though.
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That old cliche
UGH
Just kidding, my stepfather is eating snails every months :l
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When I visited France, I ate duck and escargot. My Mom ordered it for me, thinking I would be grossed out, but I had no problem eating it. The only hitch was I couldn't ask for ketchup with the frites.
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Duck is like every other meat huh? I thought everyone in the world was eating ducks here and here haha!
And you were right. Never put ketchup on frites
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Duck is uncommon in the US. I think that in most places you have to be at a gourmet restaurant to get it.
My mother told me not to ask for ketchup or the chef would cry.
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Ohhh
I was so wrong xD
And yeah, he would have cried
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Seasoning is handled very differently between France and the US. In the US, there are seasonings at the table so you can make something taste the way you want--salty, peppery, etc. In France, you're supposed to trust the chef's judgment. Once you get used to that, it's easier to deal with.
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Well it depends on which restaurant haha
I guess you were in Paris, or any big cities. In any "smaller" restaurants, there is already ketchup on the table.
Are we really talking about seasoning and frites? I hope I don't make you lose your time heh
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I can see where Spring is coming from, Puppet too.
We gonna get more insight on how he was as a hobo now? sweet
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I don't think we need to know much more about that. He brought the pigeon up for a specific reason. The Puppet got off topic.
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Ah. Well its nice to know that he wasn't a thug that killed for fun. He killed to live. That's a plus.
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Hidden because of language.
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O oops, my bad ^^'
So let me rephrase it while being polite:
Snails are really good, it's something to try if you go to France, ugly things don't mean disgusting xD
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I did try escargot while I was in France. They tasted like garlic butter, and I'm not much into garlic. Meh.
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Oh sad. Well there are other ways to cook them, but they're a little more technic and generally involve garlic ^^' But we can cook them with a tomato sauce, well if you make yours yourself because the recipe is slightly different but way better ^^
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I'm with spring on this one, a pig is even more "dirty" and we still eat a lot every year.
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Bacon is clean. Clean, clean bacon. Mmmmm!
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Why are people calling Springtrap “BOB”? I tHiNk I mIsSeD sOmEtHiNg HeRe
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Laying Down the LorePeople frequently ask about the lore I follow in my FNAF-based comics. I've decided to put it all in one place, so I can point people here rather than use up yet more time typing out explanations.
This is merely the lore that I follow, and is mostly based on FNAF 1-4. It is presented for informational purposes only. If you disagree with it, that's fine. Everyone has their own interpretation of just what the heck was going on. I'm not interested in quibbling with anyone, so if you feel the need to argue interpretations, please feel free to hit the "back" arrow and find somewhere else to do it. If, on the other hand, you want to ask for clarification or about something I haven't covered here, go right ahead.
Caveat: Continuity is loose and goofy in the Springaling comics, so I may contradict some of these items if it makes for a good gag.
The Purple Guy/Springtrap
In life his name was
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Proud to say I've eaten pigeon, escargot and frog's legs!
Nice way you've handled this btw. I like this pragmatic Springtrap
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Thanks. He had his rational moments. Actually, the pigeon business was when he was a kid on the run, before he hooked up with Fazbear Entertainment. His gears started slipping after that.
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Well he's not wrong. And in other countries people eat tarantulas and the beating hearts of cobras, locusts, eggs that have a grown chick inside, and all sorts of other weird stuff that's considered a delicacy.
I'll take the pigeon thanks.
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Yep. I see all sorts of things at the international farmers' market. Sheep heads, duck feet and heads, beef pizzle. And over here people eat pig ears and chitterlings. Shoot, people eat beef kidneys and livers, and chicken gizzards! At least pigeon is meat, not viscera.
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I know right? I mean I'm not against using the entire animal but still, it internal organs is kinda weird choice for food.
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I can't get past the idea of using the tubes that poop used to go through as food. Nuh-uh, not happening. I'll stick with muscle meat, thanks.
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Yeah, that's rather gross. Muscle meat for me too, please.
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