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peterdawes — Profile of a Vampire
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-07-23 15:01:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 1634; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 3
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Description
you bleed so pretty.drops of crimson hit the ground.
forms a pool which makes me wish
i had a brush to paint
red streaks upon the walls
as a monument to you.
i lured you and you fell.
like the sinner you are,
you followed me into seduction
and i snuffed out your candle -
a sharp gust of wind
blown through pointed teeth.
your flesh pricked by needles,
you confused pain for pleasure
and screamed my name toward the gods.
hush now, dear.
they cannot hear you.
their ears have turned deaf to you.
you surrendered your prayers
to dance with the devil
and he stole your soul
by the pale moonlight.
calm yourself now, dear.
the monsters cannot harm you.
you have met your final one
and he is the worst of them all
dressed in the souls of multitudes
who have gone before.
you join them now, my dear,
lying still in death's repose.
you bleed so pretty.
knife strokes cut across the skin
with rivulets forming streams
running like the water,
cascading over the surface of
pale-colored earth.
until the waters end at last,
given over to a drought.
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Comments: 47
Do mine eyes spy a Batman reference?
Nice work.
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they do, indeed.
have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
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Theres no need for dawing because every word to geather is a picture in my mind. Oh how lushes your writing is, I must read more. By the way do you see yourself as a vampire? Because it would be intrestion if you did.
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i do not see myself much at all as i possess no reflection...
i am being cheeky. my apologies.
thank you for imbibing my writing. i hope you continue to enjoy the rivulets of crimson that ebb from it. *grins*
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haha i think ur reply was amusing and would like to hear more. *also grins* ur very welcome.
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Theres no need for dawing because every word to geather is a picture in my mind. Oh how lushes your writing is, I must read more. By the way do you see yourself as a vampire? Because it would be intrestion if you did.
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"You bleed so pretty"
If someone ever said that to me, I don't know if I'd run in fear or stand enchanted. Once again your poetry holds my mind captive 'till the end.
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Hello, Flynn. Forgive me if I shudder and run. I've met you once before, and it was a delicious but fatal encounter.
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Oo, made me shiver and I'm not sure whether it was in fear or desire.
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perhaps equal parts? i have found the two often go hand in hand.
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They do, don't they? Seems one always makes the other sharper.
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Yummy 
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this assumes he ever goes into hiding.
working on this current book has me musing on the past a bit more, i suppose.
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We have noticed hehe
Yeah, it's nice reading it from the start properly.
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you have met your final one
chief just doesn't fit. I would suggest a different word, even if it is leader
Those couple of things would fix it up, I think
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thank you very kindly. i truly appreciate the editorial assistance.
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You are quite welcome! Glad I could help ^^
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forms a pool which makes me wish
My only problem is the 4th stanza seems rocky. The momentum falters there, but picks back up in the last. I think it is some of the wordings/word choices.
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you noticed something with that trained poetic eye of yours. i wrote the poem as 1-2-3-5-4 and then switched the last two paragraphs. would you do me a favor? could you read the final two paragraphs transposed and tell me if it improves the piece at all or if that fourth stanza is still rocky?
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Very rarely does a poem truly paint a picture in my mind as vividly as this one does. 
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the reputation yet precedes to this day.
thank you, dear zoma.
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quite the violent artist at times, too, i suppose.
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Well, we all have our mediums.
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why thank you, kelly. 
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you are very welcome, peter.
i quite fancy your new icon.
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thank you, dear kelly. i am glad you approve of it. i thought a change of pace was in order.
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well, peter... you certainly not need my approval - but i honestly like it.
i have a question for you that has refused to go away... do you draw? i know it seems like a simple question, but i've been itching to know.
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no, i am afraid not. 
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I think you should try drawing something. And post in in your scraps or something. Just to see what you other things you can do with a pencil.
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one of these days, i shall experiment a bit. i doubt anything beautiful will emerge from the exercise, however. my drawing abilities lie somewhere near the realm of stick figures.
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Stick figures can be good too, dear. It all depends on how you look at them.
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this much is true. i am not certain mine would be becoming. perhaps a bit amusing instead.
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Perhaps. I'm sure I'd get a kick out of it either way. ^^
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::violet blue eyes sparkle:: such a wonderful portrait indeed, mon ami!
Slowly....a delicious smile slides over lush red lips.
You catch your breath...
conscious of an ache just to be able to taste of those lips...
to touch...
And so you offer...
yourself...
And She drinks...
your very essence...
and you know...
in that moment...
she loves you as you have never been loved before...
and it is here...
in her kiss...
you find Heaven...
embraced by a devil with an angel's face...
~who dines on your soul.~
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thank you, dear leonie. once again, your words hold me captive in return.
ah, now that portrait reminds me much of my beloved in many ways. although, even at her most devilish, she is yet an angel.
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