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pixiegal — Tears From My Heart

Published: 2007-03-30 08:44:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 935; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 20
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Description It was last year I wrote this chinese prose. I was breaking up with my ex at that time but still under same roof for a short period, due to hardly get my own apartment.

It was a quite difficult moment for me, mentally and physically because I’m totally alone in this completely strange country. Everything is so heartache and I just wanna run and hide somewhere far far away and nobody can reach me.

I was completely shut myself out and nearly pick up my backpack and going back to my home country. But I’m glad that I didn’t.

p/s: sorry that I couldn't translate everything in English, as you know my English is sux.

Thanks for reading.




破碎的心
望着窗外的綿綿細雨﹐總讓我有些彷徨。
捧起桌上一杯呵着热气的茶,淡淡的蘋果香气扑过来。

從分手那天到現在﹐感覺還是沒有什麼差異。
或許是因為我們還是共處一屋澹下吧。
對於他的痛楚﹐我可以明瞭 — 他失去了愛﹐也遗失了一颗心。

他﹐沒有回來三天了。沒有電話﹐也沒有半字的留言。
只有我知道他為什麼這麼做。他是為了我﹐讓我有個喘口氣的地方。
我記得當天我是這麼的告訴他﹕“我需要擁有一個自己的空間﹐因為我再也不知道我要的是什麼了。” 而他﹐遵守了他的諾言。

至於我﹐還是依然對他關懷。我很想稍個電話或發個短訊給他﹐問他現在在世上的那個角落里。我只想要知道他的安全。但﹐我不能這樣做。我不能讓他產生錯覺﹐以為我還愛他。或許我還依然對他有愛﹐而我又不能在這樣愛下去。這個愛﹐愛的好痛苦。絕望愛情的結果自然就是沒有結果﹐然而﹐沒有結果的事情又往往是誘人而且是驚心動魄的。

我想逃,心底有一个声音在告訴我,逃,逃得远远的﹐什麼都不顧﹐就這樣的背起那被我遗忘了的行襄離開這裡。但是我却迈不开一个脚步。我想找一个不为人所知的地方躲开关怀,不要别人的寻求。但我無處可躲。

我不明白我是为什么了,眼角触到的一切事物都会让我掉进那种总在刻意去遗忘的酸楚。看來我是再也忘不掉这段失落無助的日子了。我好希望在这个时候有人能抱我一下,告诉我,只是个梦,噩梦过去了,已经结束了。醒來後又是個美好的一天。

“愛,不是犧牲,也不是佔有。愛,其實是成全。擁有愛情的時候,要讓對方自由;失去愛情的時候,更要讓愛自由。”

是的,選擇適合自己的對象去愛,比用什麼方式去愛,還重要得多﹗
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Comments: 28

tochime [2007-07-31 20:49:54 +0000 UTC]

I have to ask my friend to read me that second part heh...but your photo...what can I say caught in a moment...colors are the most beautiful in the world

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Alraunie [2007-05-14 20:52:10 +0000 UTC]

adorable work

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to Alraunie [2007-05-22 12:20:30 +0000 UTC]

thanks for your comment

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

99thbone [2007-04-11 12:27:55 +0000 UTC]

a moment we remember the past -- and let it be -- for it is our nature to move on -- and create the future we seek -- later days

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

philcopain [2007-04-01 17:57:19 +0000 UTC]

Wonderful picture !!
I can't read chinese ... too bad !!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to philcopain [2007-04-02 11:31:00 +0000 UTC]

Thank you my friend.
The chinese writing is slightly describe in english but not fully telling all the story.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

autumn-rain [2007-04-01 03:03:31 +0000 UTC]

hey sweetheart
i read your piece, i don't know traditional, but i got the jist, if you want me to translate it i can... if it's in simplified heh

the photo is really beautiful
the title is really fitting

很动心

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to autumn-rain [2007-04-01 16:26:09 +0000 UTC]

hi sis, thanks so much for your sweet and lovely comment.
I knew simplified but I don't know how to set it in mac. cos when I use pin yin to type, it just show traditional.

btw, how are you? Hope you having a great weekend.

hugs,
Li

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

autumn-rain In reply to pixiegal [2007-04-09 06:25:52 +0000 UTC]

ah okay..
hmm.. yeah i've been good, pretty busy with uni and all that!

hope you had a good easter!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lbda668 [2007-03-31 10:16:26 +0000 UTC]

這是你寫的散文?不敢相信這短短的幾行文字竟也能精巧勾勒出愛的真諦,以至于會讓每一個心中有愛的人看了都會用心去體會...BTW:真的很喜歡這句:“擁有愛情的時候,要讓對方自由;失去愛情的時候,更要讓愛自由” 收下了

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to lbda668 [2007-04-02 11:40:31 +0000 UTC]

嗯。只要文章是出自內心,一定能感動他人。況且這是我所經瀝的。
:)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

dissimilar0ne [2007-03-30 21:38:12 +0000 UTC]

this is an excellent picture!! very nice and very clear! i love it. i am glad you got through everything ok.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to dissimilar0ne [2007-04-02 11:32:09 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for your comment and concern.
I'm doing great.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Sokyu [2007-03-30 15:24:04 +0000 UTC]

Wow, very nice I love it. U know, I am new here, and I love macro.. so I am yet exploring how to work with Deviantart, but I should admit I felt in love with your photo congratulations for it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to Sokyu [2007-04-01 17:42:46 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment and I'm glad that you like what you see.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mypengo [2007-03-30 14:42:38 +0000 UTC]

ohh splendid capture

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to mypengo [2007-03-30 15:08:32 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MiAsbeAch [2007-03-30 14:32:58 +0000 UTC]

what an excellent shot. its so beautiful the focus on the water drop and the soft colours...great job really D

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pixiegal In reply to MiAsbeAch [2007-03-30 15:08:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your lovely comment.
Really appreciated.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DarkClone [2007-03-30 11:25:04 +0000 UTC]

Wow, tough times you went through. Hope everything is alot better now. You've talent and strength. Admirably beautiful,

Btw, i this shot. The colors look very sweet and tasty, like strawberry ice-cream,

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to DarkClone [2007-03-30 11:37:20 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ... and now you make me hunger for ice-cream. hehehehe especially on this spring season.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DarkClone In reply to pixiegal [2007-03-31 01:17:29 +0000 UTC]

lol, almost anytime is good for ice-cream!
Especially in singapore it's almost always sunny and hot, the ice-cream melts fast!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to DarkClone [2007-04-02 11:31:27 +0000 UTC]

heheheeh in Sweden, summer is the good time.
They already start selling it now.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DarkClone In reply to pixiegal [2007-04-02 12:05:11 +0000 UTC]

Sweden is a beautiful place and you do a pretty damn good job of capture it's natural beauty,

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caio [2007-03-30 10:23:51 +0000 UTC]

really hope things have been resolved.

can't read and understand it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to caio [2007-03-30 10:31:01 +0000 UTC]

yes.. everything is fine now. It was just a long gone feeling.
Just thought my old chinese prose will fit to that pic's title.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

caio In reply to pixiegal [2007-03-30 13:23:16 +0000 UTC]

liked you rnew avatar. is it you?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

pixiegal In reply to caio [2007-03-30 14:03:45 +0000 UTC]

yupp.... it's me.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0